Are you feeling the fast whoosh of time passing with the holiday season arriving, the elections looming, and the year ending? It’s a lot to take in. You may feel overwhelmed. Perhaps you’re thinking about what goals you wanted to accomplish this year, the time left to do it, and what is actually possible.

Maybe your thoughts are occupied with ‘regular’ life maintenance to-dos plus hundreds of holiday-related tasks, including gift shopping, holiday meal prepping, guestroom readying, travel planning, and family and friends’ gatherings.

Breathe. You’re human, and you’re juggling many things.

I often say that life is in the joyful doing and presence of the moment. And while that’s all well and good, when you’re stressed and overwhelmed, accessing that presence can be more challenging.

With so much going on with work and family, externally and internally, this time of year, making tiny adjustments is helpful. Infusing compassion and mindfulness into your thoughts and actions will encourage a more joyful, fulfilling, and happier holiday season.

I offer you a thought, question, and strategy to help.

3 Ways to Prepare for a Compassionate Holiday Season

1. One Thought: “We don’t have to be perfect.”

Let’s remove the idea of perfection from the holiday season. Why impose more pressure, stress, or unrealistic expectations on yourself or others?

Try channeling your perfectionism energy differently. Focus your energy on one of these options instead:

• Excellence

• Personal best

• Good enough

• Progress

• Ease

• Done

As the Noom app said about overcoming thought distortions, “…it’s about recognizing that we don’t have to be perfect. We’re human.”

Which reframe of perfectionism (one suggested or something else) is helpful for you?

“Breathe. You’re human, and you’re juggling many things.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

2. One Question: “Am I putting myself in good positions and creating the conditions for success?”

One of my favorite recent discoveries is James Clear’s weekly 3-2-1 email, which my client told me about. The idea he wrote about last month feels relevant and worth sharing.

Clear wrote, “Forget about the outcome and focus on what precedes it.” He asks, “Am I putting myself in good positions and creating the conditions for success?”

Consider Clear’s question in the context of which actions and thoughts you can focus on to create a joyful, compassion-filled holiday season. They might include:

• Planning

• Lowering your expectations

• Creating boundaries

• Simplifying goals and tasks

• Decluttering

• Scheduling rest and renewal time

What will you choose to focus on to create a positive holiday season?

“We don’t have to be perfect.”

— James Clear

3. One Strategy: “Accept help.”

Do you tend to do everything yourself? Perhaps you don’t want to impose on others. Or, Seth Godin suggests you might think, “Doing the tasks is more efficient than coordinating the help.” Either philosophy results in you doing all the work, which can lead to resentment and exhaustion. Neither of those is a recipe for happy holidays.

Whatever the season, enlisting and accepting help improves your life. We’re human and benefit from the support and interactions with others. What type of help will benefit your life and infuse more ease? Who can you ask for help? How will that change your experience? If you’re having guests over and they offer to help, lean in and say “Yes.” Have tasks ready to delegate. It will make them feel comfortable and reduce pressure from your list.

Godin says, “It’s much more productive to accept help. When we have a project, part of the work is to enlist others in figuring out how to make the change we seek.”

Let me know if you’re stressed and need a thought partner, decluttering and organizing guide, planning help, or accountability buddy. In my virtual organizing sessions, I offer one-hour focused sessions, ongoing support, and personalized guidance to help you with your goals and challenges. I’m available and am ready to help.

Human Holiday

Do you know the 1953 movie Roman Holiday, starring Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck? This season, I encourage you to embody a Human Holiday.

• Let go of what you can.

• Invite in what you want.

• Enlist the help you need.

For a less stressful and happier holiday season and beyond, I’m here to help. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

Have you ever tried to build a new habit, make a change in your life, or learn something new? Think of one of those times. Did you go it alone? Or did you have help and support? For most of us, when we’re doing something outside our skill set or comfort zone, reaching out for help is the secret sauce for success.

You might remember that I set a big goal to create a healthier lifestyle almost a year ago. My main objectives were to change my eating habits, exercise more, and lose weight. Could I have done this without help? Definitely not! My husband, family, friends, and Noom coaches and lessons provide support. I’m still working on my goals, and I’ve made significant progress. I’m 25 pounds lighter, feel better physically, and am more flexible and energetic.

The ‘Noom lessons’ help me tremendously. The app sends me daily articles that deep dive into the psychology of weight loss, provide encouragement, include practical advice, and describe ways to maintain a healthy lifestyle. One piece of Noom’s wisdom that resonated with me was “Practice makes progress.”

Notice it doesn’t say ‘practice makes perfect,’ a familiar phrase. Because what or who is perfect?

I love how the practice-makes-progress concept encourages experimentation and ongoing action. Practice infers something you are working on and supports a growth mindset. It allows space for success, failure, and learning. Progress inspires incremental change.

“Practice makes progress.”

— Noom

I recognize how instrumental enlisting help is for achieving my goals. My organizing clients also experience these benefits. I love being on their support team.

Some ways I help my virtual organizing clients are to:

• Define realistic goals

• Experiment with new habits

• Declutter and organize their things, thoughts, time, and space

• Create maintainable organizing systems

• Integrate accountability

• Reflect on the changes they are making

• Navigate overwhelm, backsliding, frustration, and discovery

• Celebrate their progress and success

We focus on small, consistent, gradual change. My clients practice new habits, experiment with organizing systems, shift their perspective, and make progress. It’s genuinely inspiring to see their positive changes.

What changes are you actively working on? Do you have help? Do you need help? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

It’s fascinating how big changes are made. They start with small, almost unnoticeable habit shifts. On your journey to be free of clutter, you donate a bag of rarely worn clothes or edit and clear the pile of unsorted mail from your kitchen counter. These tiny, single actions can bring about significant changes when consistency and support are added to your effort. 

The other aspect of making meaningful changes is the need for time and mental energy to make them happen. When you’re preoccupied, running as fast as you can to keep up, or emotionally exhausted, change is the last thing on your mind. You can’t stop your life to make a change. Instead, to integrate new habits, it’s essential to create space in your life for prioritizing the change you desire. 

In the last several years, I’ve experienced many emotional energy pulls. These included taking care of my mom with dementia, saying my final good-byes to her last March, grieving, navigating the pandemic’s effects on my organizing business, and preparing for and having our youngest daughter’s wedding at our home during the pandemic. Despite these emotional highs and lows, I’ve found focused intervals to bring about changes in my life. Admittedly, many of these changes came into being when I had more mental energy to give them.

Coincidentally, the three anchors/words, which rhyme, kept me motivated and focused on my desired changes. They are Zoom, Noom, and Room.

While these specific ideas might not be on your change radar, I encourage you to consider which words are. Which anchors will help you pursue the changes you seek? How will you make the space and time for change to flourish?

3 Hopeful Ideas Motivated Big Changes in My Life Which Can Help You Too

1. Zoom

Communication, relationships, and community are some of my treasured values. When the pandemic arrived, many communication networks halted. Most in-person contact was suspended. I couldn’t visit with family, friends, colleagues, or clients. Sure I still had the phone, text, and email, but physical contact was limited and non-existent for extended periods.

Using Zoom became an incredible go-to tool that helped me slowly change and think about how I interacted, did business, and stayed socially active. I’m guessing that many of you are Zoomed-out, but for me, Zoom continues to be a viable way for navigating life and keeping connected with people. 

I embraced communication changes and used Zoom to-

• Have bimonthly family meetings aka ‘SamFam Zoom’

• Host parties and gatherings for cocktails, New Year’s Eve, and Thanksgiving

• Attend comedy events, yoga class, Shivas, Seders, religious services, retreats, cook-offs, bonfires, and breakfasts

• Enjoy virtual ‘coffee dates’ with family and friends

• Continue my professional development

• Add to my certifications becoming a Certified Virtual Professional Organizer (CVPO™)

• Engage in organizing conferences, business meetings, and networking

• Present organizing workshops

• Pivot my business and help clients through virtual organizing

Zoom provided a channel to nurture and develop relationships, shift my organizing business, learn, and teach. While most in-person activities are now possible as many pandemic restrictions lift, Zoom still remains a viable way for me to stay connected. The platform allowed me to be flexible during these last few years, quickly embrace change, and support what I value most.

2.  Noom

Being healthy is a top priority for me. While I had some healthy practices like meditating daily and eating lots of fruits and vegetables, I wanted to change other habits. For what seems like a bazillion years, one of my goals has been to ‘lose 10 pounds.’ I’ve never been a dieter and didn’t like the idea of going on a diet. Instead, about five years ago, I saw a tremendously helpful nutritionist. She gave me a better understanding of what foods and portions were best for me. Over eight months, I lost 15 pounds. But then, in time, I gained it back and more.  The ongoing support was vital, and the difference was noticeable when I stopped seeing her.

Do you remember how I spoke about having the time and mental energy to bring about change? It takes focused effort to make eating and other lifestyle changes. When my mom died, I was emotionally exhausted. It took me months to get my energy back. When it returned, I felt ready to refocus on my health and make some changes.

In September, I signed up for Noom. It’s a weight loss app with a psychology-based approach to “help you change not just how you eat, but how you think.” It’s well-designed and simple to use. The app with built-in accountability helps me keep daily food logs, understand my calorie budget, track water intake, daily exercise, and weight. You are assigned a personal Coach and receive short articles every day, which encourage, motivate, and explain the psychology of habits.

While I’m still working towards my target goal, in five months, I have lost 18.5 pounds, I’m drinking 9 glasses of water a day, and walking an average of 10,000 steps a day. There have been other changes such as losing many inches around my body, clothing fitting better, feeling more energetic, learning new skills, and knowing I have a doable life-changing plan that’s working.

A bonus surprise was my husband signed up for Noom with me. He’s made incredible changes, and I’m so proud of him. We support one another, which is invaluable.

With any significant life change, it’s essential to have ongoing support, whether an app, person, Coach or all of those. If you’re curious about Noom, click here to learn more.

What do you need to bring about the habit changes you desire?

“Big changes start with small actions.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. Room

This last idea is about creating both physical and mental space in your life to feel calm, have room to think, and live with less stress. These changes were worth pursuing, and I have worked years to get there. For me, there is the physical manifestation, which comes in the form of an uncluttered home filled with colors, textures, and scents that soothe and delight. 

One of the goals I worked on last summer into fall, inspired by our vacation staying in a tiny house, was my ‘live with less’ project. While I had lots of stuff, I recognized I didn’t need or want it all. I started randomly going through drawers, closets, and files to let go of unnecessary things. It was cathartic and surprising how much stuff exited. I don’t miss anything.

The other part of ‘room’ is making space for your mental well-being. For me, that’s having quiet time, finding cozy spots to write, journal, or read, spending time in nature, exploring and photographing, meditating, or doing yoga. It’s making room for self-care and carving out time to feed my soul.

Especially with all that has happened in the world and the ongoing challenges, making time to replenish yourself is critical. It’s all too easy to get derailed by a crisis near or far. Our bodies are not designed to sustain continual stress.

What would it take to make room for you? What changes will help make room and space for your physical and emotional well-being?

Big changes start with small actions. What will be your anchors for change? What will provide motivation and support for the changes you desire? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

What is one of the biggest obstacles that prevent you from making the changes you want? Our automatic negative thoughts, aka ANTS, can be a change blocker. They can damage your self-esteem, make you doubt your decisions, stop you from reaching your goals, or keep you stuck in a loop of negativity. What becomes possible when you transform negative energy and shift to a positive, growth-oriented mindset? How could that change benefit you?

Recently I was struggling with some personal ANTS. I discovered several strategies for working with and changing persistent negative self-talk. Shower yourself with love. In celebration of February, the love month, I encourage you to keep those warm Valentine’s Day feelings alive and extend some extra love and compassion to yourself.

As you consider these strategies I learned, I hope they will help you reframe the negativity and flourish.

5 Ways to Empower Change by Quieting Your Negative Self-Talk

During a weekly Executive Mom Nest coaching session, Leesa Askew, incredible colleague, Nest Advisor, and Transformational Coach, presented ideas about making your mindset an asset. To do that, she shared ways to “change the channel…change the programming.” Leesa learned these ANTS-busting strategies from Dr. Daniel Amen.

1. Write Affirmations

Create affirmations to counteract those ANTS. Write down three to five uplifting phrases you can repeat and keep in view. You can use your own words or find a favorite quote. This is one of Leesa’s personal favorites:

“I am always in the right place at the right time in the right state of mind.” 

If you feel stuck finding your words and want to try something fun, check out the interactive Affirmation Wheel my husband shared with me from Noom. When I clicked on the wheel, it coincidentally landed on this one:

“I have the power to create change.” 

How awesome is that? The next time doubt creeps in, I’ll have this affirmation ready to work its magic.

2.  Use Music

As Leesa said, music is a powerful force that “can stimulate the brain” and put you in a “subliminal trance.” She suggests creating a “Killing the ANTS Playlist.”  Which songs lift you up, bring a smile to your face, and shift your mood from crummy to happy? Music can completely alter how we feel. What songs will you include on your playlist? 

Here are several from mine:

• Respect – Aretha Franklin

• Happy – Pharrell Williams

• Better Together – Jack Johnson

• Stand By Me – Ben King

• Can’t Get What You Want – The Rolling Stones

• With A Little Help From My Friends – The Beatles

Pharrell Williams - Happy (video)

3. Get Physical

Interestingly, any type of physical activity can energize you and stop those negative thoughts from surfacing. Leesa shared how 25 jumping jacks can give you more energy than drinking two cups of coffee. Plus, physical movement has the added bonus of shifting your mindset to the positive. 

The next time your ANTS come marching in, stand up, get moving, and say bye-bye to the negativity. Take a brisk walk, go on a bike ride, dance around the house (using your new playlist, of course,) or do those 25 jumping jacks. You’ve got this!

“I have the power to create change.”

— Noom, Affirmation Wheel

Each week I receive Todd Henry’s 3 Things email, the “creative sparks to help you do better work.”  This week’s edition was well-timed because Todd included strategies for counteracting the negative “chatter” in your head. Hello, negative self-talk!

Todd referenced his podcast conversation with Dr. Ethan Kross, psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and author of Chatter – The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.  I love these ideas Todd shared from the podcast with Dr. Kross, and I hope you do too.

4. Address Yourself

When negative self-talk takes over, “speak countering messages directly to yourself, and call yourself by name when you do it.” This is so powerful. If I rewrite my affirmation from number one above, it becomes,

“Linda, you have the power to create change.”

Coming in loudly and clearly. What message do you need to hear?

5. Welcome Growth

We often receive feedback, which may be unsolicited or not. When the comment isn’t favorable, doubt and negative self-talk can surface. I love this suggestion for redirecting that energy.

“Refuse to personalize critiques, but instead see them as an opportunity for growth.” 

Adopting the growth mindset is valuable in all situations. It shifts the focus from being defensive or thinking, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ to ‘what can I learn from this?’ 

Are there changes you’d like to pursue but find that ANTS create an obstacle? Which strategies resonate with you? Do you have other ways to counterbalance negative self-talk? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.