We all experience days that we just love. Today is one of those for me. It’s a Sunday. Life seems quieter, sleepier and more peaceful than usual. The family is around and without any special plans on the agenda other than relaxing and allowing the day to unfold.

This calm was accompanied by the anticipation of the first big snowfall of the winter and the new year that is rapidly approaching. Today’s peaceful feeling was a welcome contrast to this time of year, which is often focused on the angst of change and transition. We make time to let go and unclutter ourselves from stuff, negativity and busy schedules. We evaluate, plan and decide what we want for coming year. There are endings and new beginnings, which can elevate our stress levels.

I find myself sandwiched between these two diverse states of calm and anticipation. I feel happy simply enjoying the here and now, yet excited thinking about the snow and goals for the coming year. I am looking forward to the future while still being grateful for the present.

Around noon, the flurries began ever so slightly. My thoughts became filled with being snowed in and cozy with my family. I imagined cooking together, sipping hot chocolate with marshmallows and just hanging out. My list of plans for 2011 seemed far less important.

There will be plenty of time for planning. There will be plenty of time to prioritize my goals. For this moment in time, I am grateful for the blanket of snow, the family being together, the homemade soup we just shared and the hot chocolate with marshmallows that will soon be enjoyed.

What are you enjoying right now? What are you looking forward to for the coming year?

We all have markers, which are moments and events in our lives that define the passage of time. We have birthdays, anniversaries, new years, new seasons, new months and new days.  Each marks a time of reflection, change, growth and beginning again.

For me, one marker that’s become a tradition is our friends’ annual Winter Solstice party. This wonderful gathering of interesting people includes live music, dancing, food and an enormous bonfire. While I love everything about this event from seeing old friends to meeting new ones to hearing great music and dancing away, my favorite part is the lighting of the fire.

As a group, we each take a candle, light it and trek up the hill into the middle of the woods. Some years we walk through lots of snow. Other years, like this one, there was less snow. Once we get to the clearing, we form a circle around the stone pit. In the middle is a magnificently built teepee-shaped structure of wood standing about eight feet tall. As we wait for everyone to gather, it’s always cold. This soon changes.

Words are shared, the fire is lit and one by one, we throw our candles into the flame. As we do, we let go of negative thoughts from the year about to end and reflect on our dreams for the coming year. The blaze takes hold. The fire builds quickly and transforms the cold night.  My shivering is replaced by warmth. The mood is contemplative and magical. As the flames travel brilliantly up into the deep night sky, hope and gratitude fills my being. We are connected to each other. We are part of a tradition. We are markers in the passage of time.

The end of the year gives us a natural pause to reflect and restore our life balance. It’s the time to adjust, reset and move forward. The annual bonfire is one marker that nudges me into this mode. What is one of your markers? 

A few nights ago, I left the house to pick-up some take out food for dinner. The night was dark, cold and wintry feeling. As I went out the front door, I noticed that a light snow was just beginning to fall. This was the first snow of the season. It came down very slowly, barely stuck to the ground and made the streets glisten.

Particularly where the streetlights shone, I found it magical to watch the flakes gently descending. They looked like they were moving in slow motion.  Seeing the snow reminded me that a new season was on its way. It was time to regroup.

I was particularly appreciative of the slowness of this snowfall. I thought about how in the fast-paced world we live in, it’s especially important to put the brakes on long enough to see, listen, learn and feel what’s going on. If we continually move without ever stopping to reflect, we do ourselves a disservice. Not only do we miss out on “magic moments,” but we also prevent ourselves from hearing our deeper thoughts.

Everywhere I go these days, I hear holiday music. While some people might find this annoying, I love it! I can’t help myself from singing along. The music makes me feel happy. It marks a time of year for gatherings, parties, seeing family and friends. It’s the season for endings and new beginnings. There’s an odd pull between melancholy and hopefulness. We say good-bye to what was and simultaneously look forward to having a new year to begin again. It’s an opportunity to look at our life balance and figure out what needs adjustments and what should be left alone.

Whether it’s slow motion flurries or holiday music, there are cues in every season that indicate that change is upon us. What markers are you noticing? What changes are you anticipating?

In the last several months, I’ve been reading a lot on the subject of happiness. Between Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project, Dr. Martin Seligman’s book, Authentic Happiness, and the recent Real Simple magazine issue, which featured happiness articles, this topic has occupied my thoughts more than usual.

Happiness comes in many forms. Finding joy in the present as opposed to wishing for the future or the past is one avenue for happiness. I’ve been a working mom from the time our girls were young. The pull between raising a family and juggling work has always existed for me.  What helped me negotiate that challenge was learning to be present wherever I was. When I was with our girls, I was with them 100%. When I was working, I focused on that completely. In addition, I looked for small moments of joy along the way.

On my “Mommy days,” I often had to run errands and play catch-up. The girls always went with me. I treated our outings as opportunities for fun, adventure and bonding. If we were driving along and saw something beautiful or heard something funny, we noticed it together. We’d sing in the car, dance in the supermarket aisles and laugh at silly sights. It made car rides fun, shopping less mundane and helped us find the fun in very simple things. We allowed ourselves happiness breaks.

Now our girls are both in college. They are happy and working very hard. The fall semester is almost over. Our oldest daughter is feeling the time crunch for completing her projects. Sleep is something she’s not getting enough of these days because there’s so much to do. She commented to me that while she normally lives in the present and enjoys each day, right now she’s feeling a little guilty that she’s wishing the semester to be over.

I’ve experienced times that were more intense than others. There were years when my sleep was interrupted by the girls waking me up in the night. During those years, even with the lack of sleep and many demands on my time, I knew that it was temporary. In the blink of an eye, the girls would be all grown-up and self-sufficient. Free time would be something I’d have more of, eventually. I also knew that as challenging as it was, I wanted to enjoy the time, sleep deprived and all, because when it was gone, I’d miss those special years.

Happiness involves finding joy in the little things. Even when life is chaotic, the kids aren’t sleeping, work deadlines are looming and you don’t seem to have any time for yourself, there are small ways to find happy moments. Things like that first sip of morning coffee, hearing your favorite DJ on the radio, seeing gorgeous colors, laughing with your kids, slipping into your warm, cozy bed after a long day. . . these are all causes for mini-celebrations or opportunities to be grateful. It won’t matter that you have challenges if you can find small windows nestled in the chaos to stop and appreciate what’s right in front of you. Happiness options are bountiful if you allow yourself to enjoy them.

What makes you happy?