Posts tagged husband
How to Nurture Joy, Reduce Anxiety, and Bring Balance to the Holidays

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! I can hear that tune, the sound of the bells, the smell of pine, and the sight of twinkling lights brightening the dark night. This is the season of festivities, gatherings, and joy. It’s also a time when it's all too easy to overdo, overindulge, and overcommit.

Here’s the good news. If you’re already feeling like it’s too much, I’ve come up with some antidotes. You can increase joy, reduce anxiety and stress, and restore more balance. Of course, you can use these strategies at any time, but they can be especially helpful during the holidays when stress can be high.

The underlying concept is based on what you might need more of or less of right now. Experimenting with even one of these could bring you more joy and happiness today. And what’s not to love about that?

 

 

 

 

4 Ways to Foster Joy, Reduce Anxiety, and Bring More Balance Right Now

What I love about these techniques is their simplicity and their ability to address a wide range of needs. Maybe you’re tired or anxious. Perhaps you want to have more fun. Or maybe you’re yearning for the familiar. There’s something for everyone. Pick and choose which strategy or combination of techniques will be most useful for you.


1. Invite in More Rest

I remember kindergarten, when the teacher insisted on nap time. We would unroll uncomfortable, smelly mats onto the hard floor, be quiet and still (not easy for a five-year-old Linda), and be forced to nap for what felt like an eternity. Naptime felt like a punishment. I felt like I was missing out on life. Instead, I wanted to play, talk, learn, and interact with my friends.

However, as an adult, I’ve come to respect and understand the value of giving my mind and body a short time to rest. It’s a beautiful way to stop, refresh, and return with more energy, focus, and kindness.

If you go all in, you’ll come back feeling more relaxed and joy-filled. Here’s the recipe for a short, restorative rest:

  • Find a quiet spot.

  • Wrap yourself in the coziest blanket (my favorite part).

  • Dim the lights.

  • Set an alarm for 15-20 minutes.

  • Allow yourself to settle.

  • Nap away.

This is a wonderful antidote to the “overdoing it” that often comes with the holiday season. If you’re tired or cranky, invite in some rest. Wake up more joy-filled.

 

 

2. Engage in Spontaneous Fun

There are so many truly horrific things happening in the world. They weigh heavily on our hearts and minds, making the idea of having fun feel impossible or inappropriate.

However, to handle the hard things life brings, it’s important to bring some balance by replenishing your resilience reserves. One way to do this is to invite in fun, even if it’s unplanned. Say yes to silliness. That might look like going to a comedy show, having a snowball fight, playing charades, or listening to music while doing goofy dance moves.

The other day, my husband and I had a wonderful BBQ lunch at a local restaurant. It was delicious and filling. It was also right near a local mall. After lunch, we went to the mall, not to shop, but to walk off the beef brisket and hot sausage sandwiches we had just eaten.

As we walked, we discovered Dream Riders, a store that offers electric ride-on plush animals. While they are marketed for kids, adults can ride them, too. I saw the animals lined up and a few kids riding them around, and I thought, “Hey, this looks like fun. I want to try it!”

And since Steve is always up for anything (one of the many things I love about him), he was on board immediately. We spent 10 minutes riding, laughing, smiling, and having a blast. Aside from having fun, the sight of us enjoying ourselves made other people smile and laugh as we passed by, riding our Panda and Tiger.

Embracing impromptu or intentional fun during the holiday season is a wonderful way to nurture joy.

  

Say yes to silliness.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 

3. Do a Quick Reset

A few weeks ago, I shared five simple practices to reduce stress. I have one more that helps with handling anxiety, which can surface during the holidays. As wonderful as it can be to visit with family, it can also be anxiety-producing to return home. Anxiety can surface from being around too many people, experiencing more noise than you’re used to, having your routines disrupted, or having unhealthy childhood habits, relationship patterns, or interactions surface.

One strategy that helps is using the 3-3-3 Rule. It’s a simple, effective reset that can be used anywhere, anytime. Here is the method:

  • Set: If possible, go to a private space, such as a bedroom or bathroom, where you won't be disturbed.

  • See: Name three things you see, like a blue glass sink, a green plant, or a white wall lamp.

  • Hear: Name three sounds you hear, like people talking in the other room, the boiler humming, or a truck rumbling outside.

  • Move: Move three parts of your body, such as opening and closing your hands, moving your head side to side, or stretching your arms above your head.

Exercising the 3-3-3 Rule will create distance from your anxious thoughts and ground you in the present moment by engaging with your environment and physical sensations.

This reset is an excellent strategy to reduce anxiety and restore balance during the holiday season and beyond.

  

 

4. Revisit a Tradition

I’m not sure if you’ve had this experience, but for me, some seasonal traditions remain, some are reimagined, and others disappear completely. These traditions can evoke a mix of feelings, from joy and happiness to grief, frustration, longing, excitement, and relief.

One annual tradition we look forward to is celebrating the winter solstice. Lighting the giant bonfire in the woods signals a transition to the new season. It also marks a change, with a gradual return to less darkness and longer, light-filled days.

For 32 years, our friends have invited family and friends to join this magical experience. At night, each person carries a lit candle up the hill into the woods, where a tepee-like structure of wooden sticks stands tall in the darkness. Before the bonfire is lit, we are encouraged to reflect on what was, release what we no longer want, and imagine how we wish the new year to be. The structure is lit and begins to burn slowly.

When ready, each person carefully approaches the fire and tosses their candle in. I watch, mesmerized and in awe, as the flames gain energy and bring warmth. Tinder sparks fly up and dance wildly against the night sky. Crackling sounds, shifting wood, and the voices of people enjoying each other’s company are the evening’s soundtrack.

Traditions can be comforting, especially those that renew and lift your soul. The winter solstice gathering is one of my favorites each year. It’s a joyful way to release the past, imagine the future, and reconnect with special friends in the present. I’m so grateful to John and Judy for keeping this tradition alive.

 

 

 

What Do You Want to Invite This Holiday Season?

Are your holidays infused with joy, anxiety, or both? How would you like them to be? Is the balance and focus off? Which strategies resonate most with you? What brings you joy and balance?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, disorganized, stressed, or out of balance? Would you like to make changes? I’m here to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s connect! I’m easy to reach.

Getting organized is possible, especially with support.

 
 
3 Loving Ways to Nurture Gratitude to Help You Flourish

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. My husband and I are excited to host our family and bring everyone together. I might even make my new peanut butter brownie recipe. A word of warning: it’s hard not to eat the entire tray because they’re so delicious. So, if you ask me for the recipe and make it, be sure to invite people to share it with.

Gratitude fills my thoughts. At the same time, I’m very aware of how challenging these times are. The constant stream of bad news, division, and suffering is impossible to ignore. Hope, love, and gentleness can feel elusive.

Perhaps it’s the eternal optimist in me, but I can’t help myself. Those small moments or glimmers of connection, comfort, generosity, kindness, and joy are also available. I hold them close. They are as essential to me as breathing oxygen.

Recently, I was reading through my journal from this past year. I found a passage I want to share with you. It reminded me how gratitude and being present have been, and continue to be, guiding forces in my life.

 

My journal entry:

For now, I am here. Rooted in the past, ready for the future, and grounded in the present.

 

Consider these questions:

  • How has your past influenced you?

  • Do you feel ready and excited for your future?

  • Are you fully present right now?

  • How does gratitude connect to your past, future, and present?

 

 

3 Ways to Nurture Gratitude To Help You FLourish

1. Rooted

As I reflect on the past, gratitude fills my being. I think about my family, loved ones cherished and now gone, the boundless love and connection, the feeling of home that traveled with me wherever I went, the deep conversations, traditions, music, laughter, and hugs.

I remember and feel grateful for the time spent visiting relatives, traveling, hosting and attending gatherings, renovating, learning, creating, snuggling, being raised, raising kids, and so much more.

Of course, no life or family is perfect. Still, I am grateful for everything and everyone—the beautiful moments and the challenges.

 

  

2. Ready

Are any of us ever truly prepared for the future? On one hand, unexpected surprises can arise that might throw us off course or discourage us. Many of these will be impossible to predict.

At the same time, there will be incredibly joyful experiences, opportunities for growth, and adventures.

To me, future readiness is mainly about having an open and flexible attitude toward what may happen. Being ready also involves a certain level of confidence, positivity, anticipation, and acceptance. While I can’t predict what will happen, I hold hope close.

I recognize that what I do today can positively or negatively affect my future. I’m grateful for the actions I’m willing and able to take to create a better tomorrow.

 

I am grateful for this moment. I am here now.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 

3. Grounded

The past has already happened, and the future is not yet here. All we truly have is the present. I am thankful every day for the moments I get to live, breathe, see nature’s wonders, create, work, contribute, inspire, love, and be loved.

I am grateful for my senses, which always delight me and bring me back to the present moment. The magic of this season offers a feast of colors, a variety of delightful scents and flavors, cozy fabrics like cashmere and velvet that bring warmth and comfort, and sounds of wind blowing, music playing, animals calling, and leaves dancing.

Being grounded in the present helps me show up each day for my loved ones, friends, clients, community, colleagues, and myself.

I am grateful for this moment. I am here now.

 

 

 

Are You Rooted, Ready, and Grounded?

We’re complex humans with different backgrounds, dreams, and circumstances. Gratitude can color where we’ve been, where we’re headed, and where we are.

During this season of gratitude, what are you focusing on? Which ideas resonate most with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

This is a wonderful time to plan, get unstuck, and prepare for what’s to come. Are you feeling overwhelmed, stuck, disorganized, or unfocused? Would you like to make progress? I’m here to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s talk. I’m easy to reach.

Getting organized, focused, and progressing is possible, especially with support.

 
 
5 Life Lessons I Learned About Patience and Promising Progress

Recently, I reread the first blog post I wrote on waiting. As humans, waiting is something we do, yet we’re not always happy about it. We want things to happen quickly, effortlessly, and painlessly. However, things don’t often go that way. Our patience gets tested as waiting can be a challenging experience.

Maybe you’re working toward a big goal that might take months, years, or even decades. Perhaps your energy is low, and progress looks different from what it did earlier in your life. You might also lack clarity about your goal or what your next step will be.

Developing your internal resources, including patience, resilience, and agency, can be beneficial. You can also enlist help from external resources, such as haulers, handymen, trade specialists, a coach, a therapist, or a professional organizer like myself.

Progress is possible. Reaching your goals is doable. Gathering the resources to get there is essential.

Over the past few months, my husband and I have been working on some home projects. They have taken different amounts of time to complete, and some are still ongoing. The biggest obstacles were setting priorities and managing time constraints. To finish these projects, we had to decide that they were still important enough to pursue. Once we agreed on that, we scheduled the time to complete them. The scheduling was pivotal. Without planning and scheduling, nothing would have happened.

During the process, I reaffirmed and learned a few things. Hopefully, some of these will resonate with you and be useful as you pursue your goals and projects.

 

 

5 Life Lessons I Learned About Patience and Promising Progress

Life Lesson #1:  I can tolerate discomfort.

I love the final result when we improve our home. It’s hard for me to tolerate the temporary chaos that happens. Stuff gets pulled out of place, messes spread to multiple areas, and order and organization are disrupted.

I often tell my clients that things usually get worse before they get better. When you’re organizing a closet, for example, and things are pulled out, it doesn’t look great. But as you start editing, rerouting, discarding, and donating, clarity begins to emerge. Once you organize the “keepers,” everything looks and feels better. However, there's a tipping point in the middle of the project where discomfort can surface.

Even though I’m happy when we’re fixing things, I tend to feel more anxious and stressed when we’re in reno mode. That discomfort motivates me to finish what we started as soon as possible. Interestingly, I can easily handle disorder in spaces I don’t live in. But in my own home, I prefer a certain level of order, calmness, and predictability.

Although I prefer not to be uncomfortable, I am capable of tolerating discomfort. This is especially true when it’s temporary or for a good reason. Acknowledging this made me feel less stressed and more accepting of the chaos.

 

 

Life Lesson #2: I can transform temporary chaos into an opportunity to reimagine.

One of the benefits of taking things apart is having time to edit, question, and reimagine. We recently disrupted our entryway to spackle, paint, and do some electrical work. Doing that allowed me to let go of some things and reimagine the placement of certain items, like my Pez collection and one of the rugs.

I also felt inspired to repaint three of the cabinets. One is a big project, which I’ll wait to do in warmer weather. The other two cabinets will be done soon. Without being open to chaos and committing to the entryway project, these other projects might not move forward.

Chaos doesn’t have to be negative. It can be an opportunity to bring positive changes. The temporary chaos stirred my creativity and desire to make more improvements.

 

 

 

Life Lesson #3: I can finish what I start when I prioritize and plan.

This might seem obvious, but when you want to accomplish something, whether it’s organizing, home improvement, or changing a habit, dedicating time and energy to it is essential.

Deciding that something is a priority is the first step. This may involve temporarily setting other things aside while you focus your resources on the main goal. After all, you can accomplish a lot, but not all at once. Something has to give.

Once you've identified your priority, the next step is to schedule and plan dedicated time to work on it. For us, that meant working several evenings and weekends. Again, without blocking out specific calendar dates, it would not have been completed.

I can wish all I want, but without making it a priority and including it in a scheduled plan, it’s unlikely to happen. There is great potential and power in recognizing what I’m capable of when I prioritize and plan.

I can tolerate discomfort.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Life Lesson #4: I can feel the joy and satisfaction that come with progress.

Done is great, but so is progress. No goal happens with one step. Progress happens one step, one action, and one commitment at a time. When working on the renovation projects, Steve and I took a moment to appreciate the progress along the way.

Momentum is a powerful force. Taking action motivates you to do more. Experiencing progress encourages further movement. Progress is satisfying and joy-inducing.

Steve and I made sure to see, feel, talk about, and celebrate the progress we've made. It was no small feat to get some of these projects started. We embraced the positive feelings that came with making progress.

Do you know the expression, “Stop and smell the roses?” For this one, let’s pause and celebrate the progress. You took action and worked hard. Now, enjoy it!

 

  

Life Lesson #5: I can be awed by my bad-ass husband.

After 42 years of marriage, I am still amazed by my husband. He is a talented man who, among his many skills, knows how to cook, play the drums, coordinate large-scale architectural woodworking projects, and handle almost any type of home improvement or repair project. He’s also a devoted volunteer, a great listener, a wonderful father, and an incredible husband and life partner.

Whether he was finishing the glass tiles in the bathroom, doing electrical work, plumbing, cutting through walls, spackling the ceiling, or painting surfaces, he not only knew what to do but also had the right tools to do it. He also taught me how to do some things, so we could work together on projects. I love that!

I am constantly inspired by Steve’s work ethic, humanity, skills, design sense, dedication, and talent. He was willing to let go of perfection to do his best and finish projects. I’m grateful for and in awe of the incredible human he is. Thank you, Honey!

 

  

 

How Do Patience and Progress Manifest for You?

Patience, or the lack of it, is part of being human. In fact, impatience can sometimes drive progress. When you feel stuck, progress may seem out of reach. However, leaning into that urge to move forward and pushing your patience to its limit can be one way to make progress. Prioritizing and planning are also helpful. What helps you move ahead?

Which ideas resonate most with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

Are you ready to make progress? Do you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disorganized? I’m here to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s talk. I’m easy to reach.

Getting organized and making progress is possible, especially with support.

 
 
How a Helpful Productivity Reframe Makes More Time for Fun

There’s nothing wrong with being productive. However, life can be stressful if your focus rests solely on to-do lists, getting things done, and making every minute count. You might find it surprising to hear this from a professional organizer. But guess what? Everyone needs time to relax, not be scheduled, and have fun.

Some time ago, one of my clients emailed me an article from The New York Times by Melissa Kirsch, titled “Satisfying vs. Productive.” In it, Kirsch made a distinction between the two concepts. She said that “A productive day implies a day in which you got some things done, a certain degree of industry. Whereas a satisfying day might be one in which you didn’t necessarily do very much at all, but the contents of the day seem totally appropriate given any number of factors…”

Kirsch presented the idea that instead of criticizing yourself for what didn’t get done, you should make time upfront to be more intentional. She suggested setting your day up for success by asking, “What would constitute a satisfying day today?” Think about how you want to feel by the end of the day. What needs to happen (to do or not do) to get there?

 

 

The “Satisfying” Perspective

As someone who enjoys being productive, I also value a day that isn’t solely focused on crossing items off my list. Using the “satisfying” lens to reframe the intent of certain days boosts my joy factor and removes the guilt and pressure to produce.

By letting go of my to-dos, I can fully embrace how a day unfolds. The day’s intent might be to have fun or relax. It could involve exploring or wandering. But what the day isn’t is being list or task-driven.

 

 

A Perspective Experiment

Recently, I had a chance to experiment with this idea. We took a few days off and put work on hold. During our trip, we did some planned and unplanned things.

One of the impromptu activities was visiting Knoebels, an amusement park. It was so much fun exploring a new place, going on rides, and indulging in good eats. Have you ever had a Belgian waffle ice cream sandwich filled with chocolate peanut butter ice cream? It was delicious!

I digress. My husband loves riding roller coasters, while I prefer the less thrilling rides. I happily waited while he enjoyed the scary attractions. Then he joined me on the gentler ones, like the Ferris wheel and carousel. I love the movement of the carousel—going up, down, round and round with no destination in sight. No worries, just pure delight.

Aside from unpacking, no productivity tasks or thoughts were on my mind when we returned home. Without a doubt, the day and our trip had been soul-nurturing, satisfying, and fun.

I was happy about my response to Kirsch’s question, “What would constitute a satisfying day today?” For me, it had been setting aside the list, doing something spontaneous, and having fun!

What would constitute a satisfying day today?
— Melissa Kirsch

What Does Your Day Look?

Productivity isn’t a dirty word. However, when you start to view productivity as satisfying, it can have a positive effect on your experience. What does a productive day look like for you? Is it the same as or different from a satisfying one?  

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

  

How Can I Help?

Do you need support with organizing, editing, or managing your time? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Making your days intentional and satisfying is possible, especially with support.