Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

• Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.
  

• Organize Less – Declutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

• Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

• Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

• Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.
  

• Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

• Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.
  

• Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.
  

• Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.
  

• Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

• Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

“Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

This coming week is Thanksgiving. Are you ready? I’m not, but I will be by the time people arrive. I’m pacing myself. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Sure. I love preparing and eating yummy foods like cranberry sauce, turkey, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie. As delicious as those foods are, I am most grateful for having our family and friends bring their warm, loving energy into our home. I can’t wait to welcome everyone!

Due to the pandemic, we didn’t have a big group (or any group) for the past few Thanksgivings. But this year, my husband and I are preparing for 24 guests. Full disclosure. After a few years off, I feel a bit out of practice. How are you feeling about hosting or attending a gathering? Are you nervous, anxious, or excited?

As I round the event week corner, I realize there are several things I need to acknowledge and prepare so I will be and feel ready. I hope these ideas will help you too.

5 Ways to Prepare Your Head, Heart, & Home for Thanksgiving

1. Let Go

A lot of things are happening right now for me. We’re upgrading our electricity at home, working on fixes for my sluggish computer, creating a new workshop, working with organizing clients, and thinking about Thanksgiving prep. Guess what? Especially with the disruptions in my environment from the renovation and computer challenges, my mental energy is low. As humans, we often find ourselves juggling multiple things. Does that feel familiar?

Right now, the best I can do is to let go. I’m not talking about ball-dropping. Instead, I’m referring to slightly lowering the expectation bar and not trying to control everything. That means- responding to emails in an appropriate but not immediate timeframe, suspending the worry loop, not scheduling more things this week, and not trying to do everything myself. My mantra these days is, “It’s going to be OK.”

What can you let go of?

2. Take Care

As things have gotten more hectic, I’ve noticed that some of the great habits I built this year have slipped. I still walk, but those 10,000 steps a day are more elusive to hit. My goal to only eat a sweet treat once or twice weekly has been broken. Don’t judge. Instead of getting mad at myself, I’m extending some grace and focusing on the self-care pieces I am doing.

These include meditating daily, logging my food, getting adequate sleep, drinking enough liquid, eating healthy food, journaling, and staying in touch with family and friends.

I recognize there will be time to refocus on resetting the good habits I’ve let slide. But now, I’m offering myself a gentler perspective. I’m doing what I can while factoring my extra stress. My reminder is, “Be kind to yourself.”

3. Work the Lists

Are you a list maker? I am. Lists provide a great source of relief because they help me stay focused on what’s most important, provide a road map to organize a big event or project, and give me satisfaction (yay, endorphin ping!) when I cross an item off. Done feels great!

While I haven’t accomplished most of my Thanksgiving tasks yet, I updated my three lists to help me organize for the week. Reviewing and updating was confidence-boosting. My lists include:

• Thanksgiving List – High-level plan including guests, what’s being served, who’s bringing what, and tasks.

• Thanksgiving Shopping List – Details the dates, stores to shop, and specific items to purchase.

• Thanksgiving To Do Plan – Organizes tasks by day. For example, today includes updating Thanksgiving lists (done,) writing a blog post (will be done by the time you’re reading this,) and assessing paper goods.

Talking about working the lists, my husband and I have been tag-teaming it for decades. We’ve hosted hundreds of gatherings and events. Guess what? Steve has his own lists, which are more detailed than mine. Do you prefer sticky notes organized on a wall, electronic lists, bullet journals, or lined notebook paper? What’s important is creating an effective way to track and organize your tasks. Use what works for you.

What list-making method do you like?

“It’s going to be OK.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Ask for Help

Thank goodness we are in this world together. It’s important to acknowledge when you need help. For instance, as much as I’d love to rewire our house myself (not really), it’s not my skill set. I am grateful for our electrician, who is the expert and knows how to get this done. With my computer, I tried using Apple support. But after two frustrating weeks of troubleshooting with no success, I finally hired an onsite tech person to diagnose and fix the problems. My computer runs better and faster, and I have concrete next steps. In addition, I have a complete understanding of what was going on.

When it comes to Thanksgiving, Steve and I do most of the prep work. However, there are many opportunities to enlist help. I’m so grateful our kids are arriving early to help with table set-up, cooking, errands, and more. Some guests have offered to bring food, which I gratefully accept. On the day of, others will offer to set up food, clear dishes, refill the ice bucket, serve food, or move furniture around. I won’t be shy about asking for or accepting help. It takes a village, folks.

What help do you need now?

5. Feel the Joy

Laughter, love, and smiling faces. Hugs, conversations, and unforgettable moments. Getting caught up in the stress and pressure of doing and preparing is so easy. While it will take focus and effort to create our Thanksgiving gathering, I don’t want to get so stressed out that I miss the joy of being with loved ones. I am committed to finding all the joy opportunities- baking pies, setting the table, sweeping the front path, hugging my loved ones, gathering around the table for a meal, watching people enjoy each other’s company, and feeling a house full of love.

What joyful moments are you anticipating?

From my heart to yours, I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. What can you do today to reduce stress and increase joy? Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.