This is the last post for the year. It’s a quiet day, which comes after several lively days filled with family, friends, and gatherings. This is a reflective time of year as I sit here wearing my cozy socks and sipping a warm cup of Earl Grey tea.

When I finished writing my post, I asked our daughter to give it a read before sharing it with you. Cassie exclaimed, “That’s great, Mom!” Over lunch, we continued our conversation. She said, “The list is too long. I got lost in it and couldn’t focus. And the post doesn’t have any spark.” Now that’s good feedback! Then she added, “Would it be so terrible if you started over?” We both burst out laughing. She’d gone from, “that’s great” to telling me what she really thought.

You can’t ignore the truth. In the spirit of Cassie’s honesty and the connections they conjured up about this time of year, I opted to rewrite this post. The long list is gone, the message is more focused, and hopefully you will feel a spark.

Lists - In thinking back over the year, did you include too much on your list? If you had edited more, would you have experienced better balance? Were there too many “shoulds?” Was it challenging to prioritize and focus? In looking ahead, include what is most important. Be selective so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Make the lists want/need-based rather than should-based.

Passions - Was the past year draining? Maybe you didn’t include enough of what you’re passionate about? What energizes you? Going forward presents opportunity. Add the spark! 

Beginnings - One of the fabulous things about this time of year is our ability to reflect, reset, and dream. We get a “do-over.” This is the ultimate gift. Let go of what didn’t work. Release your fear. Embrace the possibilities. Start over.

As you reflect back and future think, what do you see? As we transition from one year to the next, allow clarity and hope to flourish. Wishing you and your loved ones joyous, focused, and spectacular days ahead.

I’m grateful for the perspectives you continue to share in this community. I always love to read your ideas and appreciate your comments. Come join the conversation. What are you thinking about as this year comes to a close?

What an exciting year we've had with the introduction of our “Ask the Expert” feature on The Other Side of Organized blog! We’ve enjoyed fabulous conversations about being wonderfully human with Denslow Brown, possibilities with DeeAnne White, success with Lori Deschene, enlisting help with Janet Barclay, motivation with Dr. Shannon Reece, time management with Julie Morgenstern, clutter with Lorie Marrero, letting go with Geralin Thomas, next steps with Yota Schneider, and change with John Ryan. The interviews are the starting point. Your insightful reflections and additions to the dialogue add so much depth. I’m grateful that you are part of The Other Side of Organized community. This month as we shift our focus, I’m thrilled to bring you best-selling author and happiness expert, Gretchen Rubin to share her wisdom about life balance.

When Gretchen wrote The Happiness Project in 2009, there was a tremendous buzz about her book. I added it to my “Books to Read” list. Around that time, my husband and I became empty nesters. We had just dropped off our youngest daughter at college. We were in the airport, on our way to our first vacation in years without our kids, when I entered a bookstore to “just browse.” Displayed prominently, was Gretchen’s book. I bought it immediately, knowing it was the perfect book to read as I transitioned to this new phase of life. My deepest gratitude and thanks goes to Gretchen for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about her.

Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster #1 New York Times bestseller, The Happiness Projectand her latest bestseller,Happier at Home. On her popular blog, The Happiness Project, she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness. Gretchen started her career in law, and she was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she realized that she really wanted to be a writer. Raised in Kansas City, she lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters. You can connect with Gretchen on Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, website, or blog.

My Conversation with Gretchen Rubin

Linda:  You’re an expert on encouraging more happiness into our daily lives. What are some ways to increase the happiness quotient?

Gretchen:  A key—perhaps the key to happiness is strong relationships with other people. When you’re deciding how to spend your precious time, energy, and money, anything that widens or deepens your bonds with others is likely to be a happiness-booster.

Linda:  In your pursuit of happiness, what have you discovered about life balance?

Gretchen:  If something is important to me, I can’t wait until I have some free time to do it. I never have any free time. I have to make time.

Linda:  What do you suggest for those who are overwhelmed, stress-out, and time poor?

Gretchen:  Get enough sleep! Many people who feel overwhelmed, stressed-out, and time poor are physically exhausted because they’re chronically under-slept. Most adults need 7-9 hours. You can’t “train” yourself to get by with less. I’ve become a real sleep nut, because I see how important it is to happiness, energy, and health.

Linda:  Do you have a philosophy about life balance?

Gretchen:  My mantras are “I have plenty of time for the things that are important to me” and “I want to cram my life with the things I love.” The consequence – I don’t have time for the things that don’t reflect my interests, values, and temperament. They have to fall away.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal life balance challenge?

Gretchen:  I love to work, so it’s sometimes hard for me to put down my book or step away from my laptop to spend time with my family and friends. I have to give myself “quitting time!”

Thank you, Gretchen for your thoughtful and concise insights about happiness and life balance. I love the clarity you have that happiness comes from our strong relationships with others, and that life balance is a matter of making time for what’s important and releasing the things that are not. I invite all of you to join Gretchen and me as we continue the conversation. What adds to your happiness? What are your challenges or successes with finding balance?

What is the relationship between balance and passion? The answer will vary for each person. While there are many things that delight my eyes, soul, and body, my philosophy is to find a balance somewhere between complete immersion and moderation.

Even though I’m passionate about purple, I wouldn’t want the entire outside of our home painted that color. I do love however, having a purple front door. While I adore spending time with family and friends, I also need solitary time. What can say about chocolate? I love, love, love it, but I wouldn’t want to eat it for every meal.

Can we have too much of a good thing? For me, it is that balance between total indulgence and moderation that helps me to more deeply appreciate the many things I’m passionate about.

The holiday season is upon us. It is often filled with excess. Feeling balanced can be compromised by over-doing, over-shopping, over-eating, or over-engaging. Remember that you have choices. Pay attention to your limits so that you can fully appreciate what makes you joyful.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. How do you balance your passions? Is balance important to you? Come join the conversation.

Sometimes in the pursuit of balance, we need to cut ourselves some slack. As I find myself in the midst of the sparkle and activity of the holiday season, including parties, upcoming personal and business events, planning for the next months, along with all the regular “normal” responsibilities, I’m feeling that frenzy, bordering on overwhelm which often accompanies this time of year.

I have written frequently about “me time” and practicing good self-care. While it’s always important to do this, it’s especially true when stress levels elevate. So, instead of writing a long post, this week, I’m going to reduce the pressure and keep this short.

I encourage you to listen to your voice, to do less if that helps, and to take care of yourself. What restores your sense of balance?