We’re in the home stretch of the year with just a few days remaining until the New Year and decade. What has life been like for you these past few weeks? Have things been quieter, or have you experienced a flurry of activity? Has your balance felt off or just right? I’ve missed being here with you for the last several weeks. Between the holidays, parties, hosting, visiting, organizing, and launching my new website, I took a short blogging hiatus.

The last few weeks have felt different from other times of the year. It’s useful to do a simple “balance check-in. So if your scale has tipped too much in one direction, take a pause to reflect and adjust. I have five questions to get you started.

Simple “Balance” Check-In

1. Are you feeling exhausted?

If your sleep patterns have been off, evaluate the amount of sleep you need to feel better. Maybe you can turn in early tonight or sleep a bit longer in the morning. What do you need now?

2. Are you feeling stuffed?

If too many holiday cakes, pies, cocktails, and snacks are making you feel full and sluggish, pay attention to what you’re taking in. My eating patterns have shifted because of the holidays. My body is shouting- “Reduce the sugar and up the vegetable intake!” What is your body telling you?

3. Are you feeling talked out?

If you’ve been socializing more than usual, notice whether this is causing you stress. Maybe you need to balance the “outer” time with some alone time. While I love spending time with family and friends, I’m also aware that I need time to be. What are you sensing now?

4. Are you feeling disorganized?

If you’ve been traveling, entertaining, or disengaging from your regular routines, you might be feeling more disorganized than usual. It’s easy to get out of sorts when our regular patterns are altered. Edit the excess, revisit routines, and restore some order.

5. Are you feeling restless?

If you are winding up the current projects and also anticipating changes and goals for the coming year, you might be feeling anxious. Transitions can be challenging, especially when we shift from one year to the next. Reflect on past successes, let go of the ideas that no longer serve you, and set an intention for the New Year. Get ready for your clean slate.

Endings come, and new beginnings arrive. As you straddle the two, what is most helpful to restore balance? Do you have other questions to add to the mix? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!

Even though we’re in the midst of the busy holiday season, it’s still useful to think about how you balance your days, weeks, months, or life. What does the word “balance” conjure up for you? Some of us might laugh and say,

“Balance! What balance?” or

“There’s no such thing as balance, at least not in my lifetime.”

Or, “Balance is neither achievable nor desirable.”

Do any of these resonate with you? I know you have a lot on your plate with navigating work, family, self-care (yes, self-care!), gatherings, carpooling, organizing, and a host of other responsibilities, obligations, and hats that you wear.

We each have a unique relationship to balance and what it means. For me, I’ve come to appreciate that there are times when my life feels more in sync and times when it definitely feels less so. I’ve always been hyperaware of altering the mix and focus of my life to create a combination that feels right. Is my balance always good? No, of course not. However, it has been a priority and consideration from the time I was very young.

Recently, I was remembering that as a kid, I used to play the board game, Careers. Do you remember it? While I don't recall all of the rules, I do remember the premise. Each player had a secret formula they created. It was comprised of 60 points that you could divvy up any way you liked into the categories Fame, Fortune, and Happiness. You would move around the game board collecting points in the various categories. When your points matched your formula, you’d win.

Before writing this post, I researched a bit more about the game. The funny thing is I incorrectly remembered the categories as Fame, Money (instead of Fortune), and Love (instead of Happiness). My memory was almost right, but not exactly. 

Anyway, here’s the intriguing part. This was a game that I played starting at age five or six. Every time I played, I always created the same secret formula. Can you guess what it was? I used 20-20-20, equally dividing the points between Fame, Fortune, and Happiness. Even as a young kid, I was thinking about life balance. As I look back, it seems like my “Careers” formula has manifested into an even balance in these areas. Who knew that an innocent childhood game could have such a profound effect on my life?

Whether you played Careers as a kid or not, thought about balance or not, or feel like the idea of balance is completely out of reach, you can alter your mix at any time. Developing an awareness of your priorities and whether those align with your choices is the next step. What do you want more or less of? Where are you feeling overwhelmed? What will help you feel less overwhelmed?

As we wrap up one year and enter a new one and decade, what changes are you considering? What will help you move more towards the balance that you desire? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

It’s that wonderful time of year again. The season of entertaining, party-going, gatherings, lights, and sparkles has arrived. Thanksgiving is coming, and my husband and I are preparing to host 25 loved ones for the big feast. However, festivities can also bring us humans extra stress and unrealistic expectations.

As someone who has hosted over 100 gatherings over the past 35+ years, I’ve learned a few things that can help you shift your perspective so you’ll feel more love, gratitude, and stress. Are you ready to garner more happiness in your holidays? Keep reading.

three essential elements to entertaining: people, environment, and plan

People

All parties start with the guests. As you decide who will be on your invite list for your next event, think of each person and what you love about them. Imagine how much you will enjoy talking with them, having them over, and seeing them connect with others.

• Will you include immediate and extended family?

• Will you only invite friends?

• Will you make it a combination event of family and friends?

  Choose how many people you are comfortable entertaining. We love small gatherings with just a few friends or family as much as larger parties with more people. 

Once you finalize your guest list, create your invitation. It can be a casual email or text, a phone call, an electronic evite, or a more formal snail-mail paper invite. Be sure to include the four W’s- who, what, where, and when. Make it simple.  

Then, track your RSVPs so you know how many people to expect.  It's relatively common that a few people won't respond to your invite, so you may need to follow up with them.
 

ENVIRONMENT

Every gathering has a setting. What feel do you want to have? Providing places for people to sit, stand, and mingle are the basics. Think about flow. You can decorate or not. I love having fresh flowers, but it’s not necessary. I clean up a bit, but I don’t go crazy. Most guests don’t care about that. It’s more about the environment you want to create and providing some beverages and food.

Think about if you want a casual potluck type event or a more formal sit down where you are providing all or most of the food. If you don’t like to cook, you can either ask people to bring dishes or buy premade food. You can have a gathering with just desserts and coffee, or appetizers and drinks. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Unless you adore cooking, the simpler you make the menu, the less stress and more fun you’ll have. 

My husband and I are a good tag team. We like to cook for the events, but that’s not for everyone. So honor what you enjoy and do that.

While you are preparing the food, setting the table, or cleaning, focus on what you are doing and who you are doing it for. Practice mindfulness. Experience joy in the process of getting ready to welcome the special people into your home. One of my favorite quotes and beautiful reminders from Anna Quindlen is . . .

“I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.”

— Anna Quindlen

Quindlen’s quote resonates with me. It’s something I’ve learned to do over the years. As an organizer, I tended to focus on getting things done. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. However, when I combine that with appreciating the doing, life is infinitely more enjoyable and less stressful.

PLAN

For some, preparation is the aspect of entertaining that can be the most stressful. You’re anticipating all of the details and action items for the party, which can feel overwhelming. It’s ironic, too, because it is the planning that can reduce a lot of the overall stress. Knowing what you need to do and when you are blocking out the time to do it is useful.

One strategy that works well for me is to work my lists. I save Word documents electronically to easily update them from year to year. I don’t have to reinvent the wheel every time. For example, with Thanksgiving, I have three lists:

• Overall List: Includes guests, items people are bringing, the meal order, and overall to-dos.

• Day-By-Day Task List: Details what to do each day leading up to the event.

• Shopping List: Organized by date and shopping venue. I invest 30-45 minutes in organizing and updating the files. Once I plan, my mind can relax and focus on the doing. Contact me if you want a copy of these lists, and I’ll gladly share them.

Another strategy is key. I mentioned that my husband and I are a good party-throwing tag team. Early in the planning process, we sit down together to coordinate our lists- as in who is doing what. We still talk about it even though we tend to do the same tasks each time (like he sets up the tables and chairs, and I decorate and set the tables). Since we both cook, we also coordinate who needs the kitchen and when. We help each other.

And it’s in helping one another that there is the opportunity for more love. Instead of letting the stress of doing get in the way, it’s a chance to support each other. We also love to reflect on previous gatherings we’ve enjoyed doing together, the funny mishaps, and the joy we feel from opening up our home to our loved ones.

There can be those moments of “oh-no!” like when one year our turkey caught on fire and the fire department came, or another year when the EMS and police arrived because one of my family members passed out.

Things will happen. Expect the unexpected. But always keep in mind why you’re having people over. It’s a time for connecting, gathering, and sharing time with your loved ones. Life is made up of moments, and the moments shared with the special people in your life are a gift.

So, as you plan, prepare, and gather this season, open your heart as you open your home. Forget about perfection. Find humor in the stressful moments. Enjoy the love, the unexpected, and the positive energy that friends and family will bring into your home.

What helps you focus on more love and less stress during the holiday season? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!

One commonality we share as humans is that we all have habits- good and not-so-good ones. I’ll be the first to raise my hand for some questionable ones, as I just gobbled down a “snack,” which involved candy. However, sugar cravings aside, I also have many life-enhancing habits like brushing my teeth, staying organized (yes, I consider that a habit), and practicing mindfulness meditation.

Mostly I prefer guided meditation. The Insight Timer app is excellent and offers a wide range of options and teachers. One of my favorite guides is Tomek Wyczesany. In one of my recent practices, he said, “You are the active ingredient in your day.”

That concept stayed with me. How often do we think about life happening to us? For instance, you wake up, and it’s a gray, cold day. Those aren’t my favorite types of days, and they can negatively affect my mood. Yet, choosing the “I am the active ingredient” mindset, I can alter the entire feeling for the day. I don’t have to allow the weather to determine my state of being. 

“You are the active ingredient in your day.”

— Tomek Wyczesany

Much of the work I do with clients is about change. It’s not just changing, but shifts in energy and outlook. My clients get stuck. They feel overwhelmed by a room that turned into the dumping ground for stuff without a home. They feel overwhelmed by stacks and boxes of papers that have been overlooked for months or years. They feel overwhelmed by closets that are so full they have difficulty getting dressed. 

When we work together, I help them to recognize that the secret ingredient for moving forward is staring at them in the mirror. Together we make choices about their physical belongings and space. This gets them unstuck. They recognize the power of activation as we work together to edit, clear, let go, and organize the keepers.

What an amazing concept to own- that you (yes you) are the “active ingredient in your day!”  How can that idea help you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!