Posts tagged anxious
Is Activating Courageous Subtraction One of the Best Clutter Strategies?

Clutter has many sources. It can be internal, such as in mind clutter, or external, like physical things or spaces. Clutter can also appear in your schedule. Believe it or not, it’s beneficial when you’re bothered and stressed by clutter. Why? You’re at a tipping point, which means you’re more likely to make a positive change.

In last week’s blog, I shared my latest clutter discoveries. In the comments, one of my wonderful friends and colleagues, Seana Turner, mentioned an idea from The Happiness of Subtraction episode on The Happiness Lab podcast hosted by Dr. Laurie Santos. I was intrigued, so I listened to the podcast, which inspired this post.

In the episode, Laurie talked with Tim Harford, author of Messy, about the value of subtraction and how it can enhance one's life. He noted that often, people tend to add more instead of taking things away. Does this sound familiar?

  • You take on one more commitment you don’t have time for.

  • You purchase more pants and shirts and stuff them into a closet overflowing with clothes.

  • You fill your vacation itinerary with so many places to visit that you’re too exhausted to enjoy the trip.

  • You go to another tag sale and bring home “bargains” you don’t have space for and will never use.

  • You enroll your kids in so many extracurricular activities that they feel overwhelmed and anxious without downtime.

 

The Big Clutter Question

During the podcast, Laurie asked a thought-provoking question:

“If forced to take one thing away, what would it be?”

I’ve been mulling this over for a few days. Except for the word “forced,” I love the question. It asks you to look directly at the extras in your life.

  • What is putting you over the edge?

  • What ‘one thing’ can be released?

  • What ‘one thing’ no longer belongs?

  • What can go?

You are the decision-maker. No one is forcing you. Instead, view this as an opportunity. This is your opening to make a change. Release the things holding you back.

 



“Opportunity Cost”

Tim talked about how something has an “opportunity cost.” For example, “…everything you say yes to is getting in the way of something else.” The idea is to subtract as much as possible to make space for the “good stuff.”

  • What are you “over-subscribed” to?

  • What can you remove from your schedule?

  • How does saying no make space for saying yes to what you value most?

  • What could you be doing if you subtracted something else?

 

Subtraction lets you create space for what you treasure most.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

  

“Yes-Damn” Effect

Laurie discussed the familiar “yes-damn” effect from Hal Hershfield’s book Your Future Self about our time biases. This has probably happened to you before. Laurie said you get asked:

  • “Hey, do you wanna do this presentation?

  • Or Hey, do you wanna go to this kind of not very interesting dinner party?

  • Or Hey, do you wanna sign up for something in your schedule and you feel kind of bad?

  • So you’re like, yes.

  • Then weeks later, that project or that dinner party comes up and that’s where you say, damn.”

You said yes to something, and time passed. When you see it on your schedule, you regret the yes and are annoyed at yourself.

 

 

“No-Yay” Effect

Laurie prefers and uses a different strategy. Through “periodic reminders,” the “no-yay” effect reinforces the reward of saying no.

She shares this example. Let’s say someone asks you if you want to do a specific project, and you know the due date. You know you don’t want to do it, so you say no.

You could leave it there, at your no. Instead, you take it one step further. On the project’s due date, you write on your calendar, “Hey Laura, you didn’t have to do the project this day.”

Time elapses. You arrive at that future due date, see your note, and recognize how much harder things would have been if you had committed to doing that project. “And then you have the experience of the yay.”


Clutter shows up in our minds, schedules, and homes. Feeling bothered is a positive because it’s your cue for change. Subtraction lets you create space for what you treasure most.

What are you ready to subtract? If you need help making a plan or decluttering, reach out anytime. Please email me, Linda, at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Decluttering is possible, especially with support.

 
One Easy and Excellent Strategy for Quickly Letting Go

When it comes to doing hard things, it’s helpful to have strategies that encourage you when you’re stuck. What happens when you don’t have tools to rely on? You can become overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, paralyzed, or give up altogether. Letting go can be challenging. However, with this one easy strategy, you can become an expert at releasing those things that no longer belong. Let me share some context before I explain the strategy.

I notice things that don't belong when walking around or traveling. They catch my eye. For example, I walked along the river the other day and saw a single blue glove on the ground. Maybe it dropped out of a coat pocket. It was out of place by itself on the ground. Another time, I visited a lovely garden. An empty plastic soda bottle protruded from this beautiful ancient stone lion’s mouth. You guessed it! The bottle was in the wrong place and should have been in the recycling bin instead.

Did you see the photo of neatly stacked sweaters? Can you tell they are in the microwave? These examples cue you to notice when things are out of place, which is the first part of the letting go strategy I will share with you.

 

Easy Letting Go Strategy

One of the simplest ways to let go is to notice the things that don’t belong. You can do this in any room, space, container, or area. When you identify what is in the wrong place, you can change the dynamic by letting go. There are three steps:

1. Awareness – Notice what is out of place. It could be:

  • Something that accidentally was put in the wrong spot by you or someone in your household

  • Something that was placed without thinking about if it belonged there

  • Something that ‘temporarily’ was put in the wrong spot as a holding area and then remained there indefinitely

  • Something that was randomly put into a cabinet, on a shelf, or in a closet to give the illusion of being clutter-free



2. Ask– Now that you see ‘it,’ you can’t unsee it. That’s a good thing. It’s decision-making time. These questions will help you figure out what to do next. Ask:

  • Does this thing belong elsewhere?

  • Does it belong elsewhere, but I don’t know where it should ‘live?’

  • Do I want this anymore?

  • Can I let it go?

One of the simplest ways to let go is to notice the things that don’t belong.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 3. Act – You asked the questions, and now it’s time to take action.

  • If it belongs elsewhere, route it to its home.

  • If it belongs elsewhere, but you are still determining where it should go, remove it from its current spot and choose the best location to store it.

  • If you no longer want it and are ready to let it go, donate, giveaway, sell, recycle, or trash it.


I hope you don’t have sweaters in your microwave or plastic bottles stored in a sculpture, but you most likely have things sitting in unhelpful spots. Quickly become a pro at letting go by noticing what’s out of place, deciding about it, and removing it from the current location.

What eases your letting go process? How can this letting go strategy work for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

If you need help letting go, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Letting go is possible, especially with support.

 
How 3 Useful Changes Can Make Positive Differences in Your Life

Proactive change is a fascinating thing. It’s the type of change you seek when you desire a shift in your life. You might have identified an area you want to improve, a behavior you want to stop, or a wish you want to manifest. You are ready for a transformation but may feel overwhelmed with where to begin or what to focus on. Change is possible through desire, small steps, and support.

This week, I attended the educationally stimulating ICD Virtual Conference, “Shining a Spotlight on ADHD.” There were three terrific speakers- Melanie Sobocinski, PhD, PCC, Sharon Saline, Psy.D, and Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA. They shared a wealth of information. I’m focusing on three ideas I learned about change that I thought would be especially helpful.

 

3 Useful Changes

1. Task Activation

Have you ever wondered why a task isn’t happening? In Melanie Sobocinski’s presentation, Mastering the ADHD Trifecta to Manage Task Salience, she said the key to activation hinges on using strategies in three areas:

  • High Interest – May need to be boosted or toned down

  • Urgency – Can be overused, but can be beneficial when used in small doses

  • Other People – Can provide support, including focus and problem-solving, or can be an obstacle if it erodes the client’s autonomy

Task activation can be improved by understanding which elements are interfering. While Melanie shared excellent strategies for each area, there was one for High Interest that caught my attention.

To boost “Interest,” you can introduce novelty with a micro-change. Melanie shared a worksheet by Casey Dixon, PCC, who defines micro-change as “the smallest possible change you can make to have a task or solution feel new again.” These tiny changes will “catch your brain’s attention and help a task feel fresher and more rewarding, without creating utter chaos.”

Use Micro-Change to Introduce Novelty

  • Try a new tool or resource, such as a new app.

  • Change your location or placement of objects, like working at a coffee shop.

  • Select a new color for writing with or on.

  • Use a new sound for alarms.

  • Adjust your position or lighting by walking during a call or switching the lighting intensity.

 

2. Confidence Formation

Have you ever felt nervous, anxious, or lacked confidence in social situations? Are you curious about one strategy that can change your experience? In Sharon Saline’s presentation, Strategies and Solutions for Social Anxiety in Neurodivergent Adults, she described social anxiety disorder as a “debilitating fear or judgment, humiliation, or rejection.” There can be a “disconnect between how a person actually appears to others and their own exaggerated perception of themselves.”

Sharon delved into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), Perfectionism, and Imposter Syndrome. One of the strategies she offered when discussing Imposter Syndrome was to develop and name your “inner ally.” Negative self-talk can run rampant. Call upon your inner ally to provide support, compassion, and belief when you’re feeling nervous, doubtful, or ruminating with unhelpful thoughts. Sharon calls her ally “Tina Trailblazer.” What name will you give yours? What words of support will they offer?

While I haven’t named my ally or identified her as such, I have relied this year on my 2024 motto to lift me when I run into a challenge. Her voice says, “You got this.” Those words help me get over myself and move forward with confidence. After learning about the inner ally concept, I feel inspired to give my ally a name.

Yes starts the process of change; Yet keeps it going.
— Sharon Saline, Psy.D.

3. Sleep Foundation

Do you get enough sleep? Is that an area of your life you want to change and improve? Ari Tucker’s presentation was ADHD Makes Sleep Worse – And We Probably All Need More Sleep. He said, “No one is bringing their A-game after a bad night of sleep.”  

Lack of sleep negatively impacts mood, efficiency, effectiveness, focus, and attention. Consider how you feel after good or bad sleep days. There are many solutions for sleep deprivation, which include establishing a consistent bedtime, limiting caffeine, minimizing kid and pet disruptions, or stopping naps. For more strategies, read Ari’s ADDitude article, 9 Sleep Deprivation Solutions for Adults with ADHD.

While there are numerous ways to address good sleep hygiene, Ari suggests focusing first on quantity. If you establish the ‘right’ number of sleep hours you need, the quality of your sleep will probably be fine. If the quantity of sleep is good and you’re still having sleep challenges, then it’s worth investigating your sleep quality. Talking with a doctor who can advise about any medical challenges affecting your sleep could be beneficial.

Small changes in your sleep habits can significantly improve your daily experience.  

Partial progress is still progress.
— Ari Tuckman, Psy.D.

Which ideas resonated with you? Are there areas of change you want to focus on? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

If you want guidance with the changes you desire, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Change is doable, especially with support.

 
How to Be Astoundingly Mindful, Calm, and Prepared for Your New Season

Last week, I wrote about the transitions we’re experiencing as the seasons change. While fall doesn’t officially begin for several weeks, its unofficial start has happened. You’re back from summer vacation, the kiddos have returned to school, and your plate is piled high with numerous projects, goals, and activities. Your schedule is packed, and your daily patterns are changing. Do you feel calm and prepared, or anxious and not ready?

Transitions can be tricky and uncomfortable. However, intregrating mindfulness into the mix can bring calm and confidence to this next phase.

There are six ways to feel ready as you prepare for your busy season. You can use these strategies for any shift you’re experiencing, such as starting a new day, month, season, year, project, or life change.

 

 

6 Ways to Mindfully Prepare for Your New Season

1. Prepare Emotionally

Your emotional state benefits greatly when you prioritize your self-care. To fortify your energy reserves and to create a positive emotional state:

  • Get enough sleep

  • Eat healthfully

  • Hydrate

  • Move your body

  • Make time for just you

  • Engage in nourishing activities

 

2. Prepare Environment

Clutter can cause blockages in your thinking, well-being, creativity, daily flow, and routines. Make time to let go of the physical things you no longer need, want, are in your way, or are no longer relevant for this new phase. Clear the path for your new season. What can you declutter now?

  

3. Clarify Goals & Why

Did you create an ambitious list of goals at the start of this year? This change of seasons presents an excellent time to revisit and reset. Ask:

Taking the time to clarify will be valuable. The clarity will help with more effortless and less stressful decision-making when your choices align with your goals and overarching why.

Integrate mindfulness to bring calm and confidence to this next phase.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Gather Your Team

The busy season makes it a terrific time to gather more support. Collect your go-to peeps- family, friends, colleagues, and professionals. There is no reason to go it alone. Who will be on your team? They can help you:

 

5. Gather Your Resources

Aside from your ‘team,’ what else will help you prepare for this season? What physical supplies or products will be beneficial? What about finding resources for ideas or referrals?

As we’re in the back-to-school mode, images of sharpened pencils, blank notebooks, and boxes of new, colorful crayons fill my thoughts. While our kiddos are adults now and not in that stage, I remember when they were. Returning to school meant gathering the essential supplies, which helped them feel prepared and ready to learn. What do you need to feel prepared?

 

6. Schedule Downtime
During the fullness of this new season, plan time to stop. We aren’t designed to be constantly doing. We also need time to just be. Whether you make time daily, every week, or once a month, build breaks from the busyness. Each of us has different refueling needs. My daily mindfulness meditation practice and walks in nature keep me grounded and calm. They give me a quiet space to practice mindfulness, restore my energy, and prepare me to engage more fully after I pause.

New Podcast: Helping You Reset for the New Season

A few weeks ago, I enjoyed talking with the engaging, delightful podcast host, writer, and my new friend Kara Cutruzzula on her “Do It Today” podcast. Our conversation covered many topics, including ways to get ready for the new season. Listen to our conversation below:

If you are gathering your team and would like support from me as your Virtual Professional Organizer, let’s talk. I’d love to help as you travel on this next part of your journey. Call 914-271-5673, email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, or click here to contact me through this site.

What helps you mindfully prepare for change? How do transition times affect you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.