Posts tagged relationships
How to Encourage Change More from a Joy, Not Dread Perspective

When you think about change, which emotions bubble up? As someone who has observed, experienced, and helped others make changes, I’ve noticed many reactions. When anticipating change, we can experience mixed emotions, including fear, frustration, anxiety, doubt, overwhelm, sadness, ambivalence, excitement, relief, and hope.

Emotions are powerful. They can paralyze or propel us, depending on which ones are in play.

  • What if you could stack the deck in your favor?

  • What if you could shift your perspective to encourage a more joyful experience for your desired changes?

  • How would that alter your journey?

When you think about making a change, it can feel enormous, confusing, and unreachable. For example, let’s say you feel overwhelmed and frustrated by the clutter and disorganization in your life. You want things to change but don’t know what to do or how to begin. As a result, you do nothing.

A common organizing philosophy encourages breaking down large projects or goals into small, doable parts or tasks. Using this strategy is an effective path forward. You keep the larger goal in mind while focusing your effort on tiny, baby steps. This process reduces overwhelm and facilitates forward movement.

  

Encourage Change by Shifting Your Perspective

During a recent meditation and writing retreat led by my friend and colleague, Yota Schneider, she shared an insightful question. We considered it in a particular context around focusing.

However, the more I thought about it, the more I recognized how you could use the question to encourage change through a lens of positive expectations.

The question Yota shared was from neuropsychologist and author Dr. Rick Hanson. He asked,

“What will I be glad I did today?”

I appreciate the question’s simplicity and graciousness. What will I be glad I did today? The question has several fascinating effects.

  • Contemplate – It invites you to consider joy, happiness, gratification, or satisfaction as the driving force. In other words, you are taking action inspired by this positive perspective.

  • Strengthen – It offers a nonjudgmental inquiry while strengthening activation confidence. You imagine this positive change or task as if you have already accomplished it. The question boosts agency.

  • Reduce – While it doesn’t overtly state this, the question implies a narrower, singular focus. Dialing down the possibilities to something smaller can reduce or eliminate overwhelm.

  • Imagine – It merges present action with positive, immediate future results. You are doing something now that you will be happy you did later today.

  • Build – Using this question to navigate change gently promotes a repeat-and-build pattern versus a one-and-done method.

  • Act – The question is non-confrontational. It’s even kind of fun. You’re focusing on how good you’ll feel or “glad” you are when you do that thing today. 

Encourage change through a lens of positive expectations.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Work the Present and the Future

Once you gear your mind toward a “glad I did today” focus, you will experience many positive changes that connect with your larger goals. Here are several of the positives I’ve experienced recently and the change categories they influenced. I am glad I:

Relationships – Nurture and Strengthen

  • Celebrated my husband’s birthday

  • Cooked with my daughter

  • Sent packages and notes to our kiddos in advance of Valentine’s Day

  • Had assorted conversations with friends, family, and colleagues, including a friend I hadn’t spoken with in way too many years

Professional – Lead and Learn

  • Completed the edits and returned my chapter for a new ICD book on chronic disorganization

  • Led a planning meeting for my organizing colleagues for NAPO Westchester

  • Had virtual organizing sessions with my clients

  • Wrote my blog

Finances – Manage and Build

  • Gave our accountant a preliminary tax summary

  • Paid bills

  • Reconciled accounts

Household – Maintain and Edit

  • Cleared out the 2024 files and set up the 2025 files

  • Did laundry

  • Added a few clothing items to the donation bag

Well-Being – Calm and Care

  • Scheduled vaccines

  • Didn’t eat that extra piece of cake

  • Took a walk along the river even though it was cold

  • Slept later than usual

  • Went to yoga class

  • Meditated

 


It’s Your Turn to Invite Change

Which categories in your life are you looking to change? What is one thing you can do today that will bring you closer to that goal? With this in mind, what will you be glad you did today? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 


How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, planning, or inviting positive change? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Change is possible, especially with support.

 

 
 
One Clarifying Question to Help Embrace Change in Your Life

How is it already February? The past few months have been intense, and time has flown by. Based on recent conversations and my own experience, many people want to make changes but feel stuck.

Conflicting emotions include an urgency for change, confusion about what to change or how to move forward, and exhaustion even before starting. Additionally, the desire for change and the fear of the unknown can create further paralysis.

These feelings can show up in many ways, including:

  • You are dissatisfied with the status quo.

  • You want to make a shift but don’t know how to go about it.

  • You’re exhausted from the news, endless possibilities, and uncertainty.

  • You are unable to focus.

  • You feel overwhelmed.

  • You feel stuck and can’t figure out how to move forward.

  • You want things to change but have no energy to make it happen.

  • You want to press pause and postpone change.

  • You want to take action but are afraid of doing it wrong.

  • You don’t want to live this way anymore but lack clarity about changing things.

 

  

The Clarifying Question

Before making any change, selecting one area to focus on is essential. It can be tempting when pursuing change to get overly ambitious. There is nothing wrong with that. However, dividing your attention in too many directions can be overwhelming.

In The Power of Letting Go by John Purkiss, he poses this powerful and clarifying question:

“What do you want to change in your life?”

While you may have a long list of items, I encourage you to choose only one thing at a time. Don’t worry about what change to make or how or when you’ll make it. Release that noise. Begin with the question.

 

 

Which Change Will You Pursue?

You might want to pursue changes in several of the categories below. However, as mentioned, focusing on one area and one specific change at a time is most effective.

Change categories include:

  • Career and Work

  • Family and Relationships

  • Finances

  • Fun and Recreation

  • Health and Wellness

  • Personal Growth

  • Physical Environment

  • Spirituality

Here are some examples:

  • If Fun and Recreation is the first category you focus on, you might add one fun activity each month, such as going to a movie, ice skating, or having a pizza and game night.

  • If Health and Wellness is the first category you focus on, you might establish better sleep hygiene over several months. Establish consistent bedtime, reduce the ambient light, put away digital devices a few hours before bed, and take a warm bath.

  • If Physical Environment is the first category you focus on, you might declutter and organize one area each month, such as the kitchen, clothing closet, or bathroom.

Integrate one change before pursuing additional ones.

Integrate one change before pursuing additional ones.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How to Work with the Clarifying Question

You know the clarifying question. Here’s one way to work with it:

  • Find a quiet place to reflect.

  • Close your eyes if that helps.

  • Sit with John’s question: What do you want to change in your life?

  • Notice what arises.

  • Capture your thoughts.

  • Scan your list.

  • Note which categories your changes are in.

  • Select one category and one specific change from that category to focus on first.

  • Allow the other ideas and chatter to recede into the background for now.

  • Once the change is well established, revisit your list to select the next change you want to pursue.

Do you feel more prepared to embrace change? Was the clarifying question helpful? What are you considering? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, planning, or clarifying changes to pursue? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Change is possible, especially with support.

 
 
3 Time Management Strategies That Will Make Your Life More Happy

When you think about how you manage time, do you consider the “happy” factor? It’s a given that you have 24 hours each day. How you use and feel about that time is where life gets interesting. With some minor tweaks, you can enhance the quality of your life by shifting your perspective and actions.

Happiness is not always considered when it comes to time management, yet it’s a powerful element to integrate.

Before I share three helpful time management strategies, let’s look at some common phrases to describe time and how you experience it.

Common Time Phrases

This first list of expressions reflects stress, frustration, and anxiety about the limitations and passage of time. Some common sayings are:

  • Running late

  • Behind schedule

  • On the clock

  • Not enough hours in the day

  • Time waits for no one

  • Time is of the essence

  • Lost time

  • Pressed for time

  • Time-sensitive

  • Killing time

  • Wasting time

  • Running out of time

  • Lost track of time

  • Living on borrowed time

  • Out of time

This second list of phrases describes positive feelings about time, highlighting enjoyment, appreciation, and making the most of every moment. These expressions include:

Which phrases resonate most with you? Do you often experience stressful time-related situations, as reflected in the first list? Are more of your time-related encounters positive, like the phrases on the second list? Or are your encounters with and relationship to time somewhere between the extremes?

 

3 Time Management Strategies for a Happier Life

The time strategies described below can increase your happiness wherever you are in your relationship with time.

1. Happier Boundaries

What happens when you have few or no boundaries? Without boundaries, everyone else’s priorities come first. And you know what that means? Yours come last, if at all. You end up saying “yes” to things you wish you said “no” to. As a result, you might feel resentful, angry, frustrated, or annoyed.

Learning to set boundaries is a core time management skill. I continually work on boundary-setting because I didn’t understand that skill growing up. On the contrary, I learned how NOT to set boundaries. But I digress.

My insightful friend, colleague, and Professional Organizer Julie Bestry always shares excellent resources on her Paper Doll blog. She also has a great sense of humor. Her recent post, “52 Ways to Say NO to a Request So You Can Say YES to Your Priorities,” includes fabulous boundary-setting strategies.

To illustrate one of Julie’s points, she shares a 30-second YouTube clip from the TV show Friends. In the segment, Joey asks Phoebe if she wants to help assemble Ross’s furniture. Phoebe matter-of-factly says, “I wish I could, but I don’t want to.” Wow! What a clear (and hilarious) example of setting boundaries and saying no.

While Phoebe’s response to Joey’s request might not work for you, the idea behind it is worth considering. There are many ways to set boundaries, and learning to say no when you want to (whatever the reason) is essential. Knowing that skill lets you focus on your top priorities and what matters most.   

Learning to set boundaries is a core time management skill.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

2. Happier Activation

Now that you excel at boundary setting (yes, you!), your attention can focus on your most important people, projects, and tasks. However, while you cleared your schedule and said no to several requests, you’re having difficulty beginning your work.

The project you want to do, you can’t make progress on. You might need to plan, research, enlist help, gather resources, or take other actions. You’re thinking about how much time it will take to finish. Feelings of overwhelm are taking over. It all feels too big. How are you going to complete this or get started?

Let’s say it. You can’t do it all at once, so don’t expect that you will. Instead, let small time blocks be your ‘activation’ friend. Merge the concept of small blocks of time with an actual timer, and you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.

Activation Strategy:

  • Review your calendar

  • Select a day that has availability

  • Select a small amount of time, such as 10, 20, or 30 minutes you commit to your project

  • Set the timer for those minutes

  • Work until the buzzer dings

  • Stop working

  • Check on how you’re doing – Are you done for the day? If so, schedule another day to repeat the process. Or do you want to work for another ‘x’ number of minutes? If so, reset your timer now to continue working. When the buzzer dings, repeat the last two steps.

During the past month, I’ve been preparing my latest workshop, How to Let That Sh*t Go. The small blocks of time strategy helped me progress and prepare to lead the workshop on June 6th. If you or someone you know wants to learn more or register, click here: https://www.ohsoorganized.com/workshops.

You will feel happier attending to what’s most important and meaningful. However, progress will not happen without the ability to activate. When you use small blocks of time effectively, you’ll handle things high on your agenda.

Let small time blocks be your ‘activation’ friend.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 3. Happier Connections

Pausing in your day to savor one of life’s simple pleasures is an excellent time management strategy to enhance your happiness. If you are constantly on the go, consider integrating “Fika,” a Swedish practice.

Fika embodies the Swedish values of work-life balance, social interaction, and relaxation. Practicing Fika involves taking a short break, typically in the afternoon. People slow down, socialize, and build relationships. The break often includes coffee or another beverage and a small treat like pastries, cookies, or sandwiches.

The other day, I tried a variation of this with my husband. We skipped the beverage part and visited our local store, The Blue Pig. We sat, talked, and ate espresso chip ice cream cones with chocolate sprinkles. It was time well spent.

Which time management strategies bring you the most happiness? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you feel time-challenged, reach out to Linda, me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. A life focused on what matters most is possible, especially with support.

 
One Excellent Tool to Assess Clutter's Impact on Your Mental Health

Have you wondered how clutter affects your mental health and well-being? As a Professional Organizer for over 30 years who works with individuals challenged by disorganization, I have seen firsthand how clutter can negatively impact behaviors, self-esteem, and mental health. I’m about to share an insightful tool for assessing the impact of clutter on your life.

Recently, Melissa Tracey interviewed me for the Houselogic article, How Clutter Creates Stress and Anxiety: Strategies for Decluttering, and a podcast for The Housing Muse about the relationship between home clutter and its effect on mental health.

Many of my clients have mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, and OCD. Clutter can worsen issues by increasing feelings of stress, anxiety, sadness, frustration, and overwhelm. While professional organizers can help with specific strategies to reduce clutter and increase organization, having the support of a mental health professional can be essential.

 

 

Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. It began in 1949 to reduce the stigma around mental health conditions and provide awareness, support, and resources. The World Health Organization states:

  • 1 in every 8 people, or 970 million people in the world, live with a mental disorder

  • Anxiety and depressive disorders are the most common

  • Mental disorders involve significant disturbances in thinking, emotional regulation, or behavior

  • Most people do not have access to adequate care

Contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for information, helplines, and support.

 

 

Self-Assessment Clutter Tool

The Clutter Quality of Life Scale (CQLS) was developed by Dr. Catherine Roster, Associate Professor at Anderson School of Management at the University of New Mexico, with help from volunteers from the Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD). Catherine is a dynamo, and I had the privilege of working with her on the ICD Board.

The CQLS is a self-assessment tool “designed to measure inward, or subjective, consequences of clutter from the individual’s perspective.” Clutter is defined as “an overabundance of possessions.”

The CQLS scale contains 18 statements about clutter, which a person rates from 1 = strongly disagree and 7 = strongly agree.” These statements reflect the level of negative consequences clutter has on four areas: your relationships, personal finances, the livability or functionality of your home and space, and feelings of anxiety, guilt, and depression. Here are a few examples from the assessment:

  • Social impact: “I avoid having people come to my house because of the clutter.”

  • Livability impact: “I have to be careful when walking through my home in order to avoid tripping over objects.”

  • Financial impact: “I often buy things I already have because I don’t know where things are in my home.”

  • Emotional impact: “I feel depressed by the clutter in my home.”

Click on the link to take the CQLS assessment.

I feel depressed by the clutter in my home.
— The Clutter Quality of Life Scale


Personal Impact of Clutter on Mental Health and Well-Being

Clutter shows up in many ways and can negatively affect your mental health and well-being. Here are a few examples of what you might experience:

  • Your sink is always full of dishes, which makes it difficult to cook and eat nutritiously. It also affects your energy and health.

  • Your bed is cluttered with clothing waiting to be cleaned or put away. You’re been unable to sleep there for weeks. As a result, your anxiety increases as your lack of sleep, energy levels, decision-making abilities, and mood suffer.

  • Your papers are in piles on your kitchen counter. You can’t find the bill you know is due tomorrow. Your anxiety increases as you search for the bill. Hours later, you discover it buried in a pile in another room.

Have you noticed ways clutter affects mental health and well-being? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you are struggling with clutter and mental health issues, don’t go it alone. Get the support you need from a Professional Organizer like me and a mental health provider.

Reach out and email me, Linda, at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Decluttering is possible, especially with support.