Posts tagged sadness
How to Encourage Change More from a Joy, Not Dread Perspective

When you think about change, which emotions bubble up? As someone who has observed, experienced, and helped others make changes, I’ve noticed many reactions. When anticipating change, we can experience mixed emotions, including fear, frustration, anxiety, doubt, overwhelm, sadness, ambivalence, excitement, relief, and hope.

Emotions are powerful. They can paralyze or propel us, depending on which ones are in play.

  • What if you could stack the deck in your favor?

  • What if you could shift your perspective to encourage a more joyful experience for your desired changes?

  • How would that alter your journey?

When you think about making a change, it can feel enormous, confusing, and unreachable. For example, let’s say you feel overwhelmed and frustrated by the clutter and disorganization in your life. You want things to change but don’t know what to do or how to begin. As a result, you do nothing.

A common organizing philosophy encourages breaking down large projects or goals into small, doable parts or tasks. Using this strategy is an effective path forward. You keep the larger goal in mind while focusing your effort on tiny, baby steps. This process reduces overwhelm and facilitates forward movement.

  

Encourage Change by Shifting Your Perspective

During a recent meditation and writing retreat led by my friend and colleague, Yota Schneider, she shared an insightful question. We considered it in a particular context around focusing.

However, the more I thought about it, the more I recognized how you could use the question to encourage change through a lens of positive expectations.

The question Yota shared was from neuropsychologist and author Dr. Rick Hanson. He asked,

“What will I be glad I did today?”

I appreciate the question’s simplicity and graciousness. What will I be glad I did today? The question has several fascinating effects.

  • Contemplate – It invites you to consider joy, happiness, gratification, or satisfaction as the driving force. In other words, you are taking action inspired by this positive perspective.

  • Strengthen – It offers a nonjudgmental inquiry while strengthening activation confidence. You imagine this positive change or task as if you have already accomplished it. The question boosts agency.

  • Reduce – While it doesn’t overtly state this, the question implies a narrower, singular focus. Dialing down the possibilities to something smaller can reduce or eliminate overwhelm.

  • Imagine – It merges present action with positive, immediate future results. You are doing something now that you will be happy you did later today.

  • Build – Using this question to navigate change gently promotes a repeat-and-build pattern versus a one-and-done method.

  • Act – The question is non-confrontational. It’s even kind of fun. You’re focusing on how good you’ll feel or “glad” you are when you do that thing today. 

Encourage change through a lens of positive expectations.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Work the Present and the Future

Once you gear your mind toward a “glad I did today” focus, you will experience many positive changes that connect with your larger goals. Here are several of the positives I’ve experienced recently and the change categories they influenced. I am glad I:

Relationships – Nurture and Strengthen

  • Celebrated my husband’s birthday

  • Cooked with my daughter

  • Sent packages and notes to our kiddos in advance of Valentine’s Day

  • Had assorted conversations with friends, family, and colleagues, including a friend I hadn’t spoken with in way too many years

Professional – Lead and Learn

  • Completed the edits and returned my chapter for a new ICD book on chronic disorganization

  • Led a planning meeting for my organizing colleagues for NAPO Westchester

  • Had virtual organizing sessions with my clients

  • Wrote my blog

Finances – Manage and Build

  • Gave our accountant a preliminary tax summary

  • Paid bills

  • Reconciled accounts

Household – Maintain and Edit

  • Cleared out the 2024 files and set up the 2025 files

  • Did laundry

  • Added a few clothing items to the donation bag

Well-Being – Calm and Care

  • Scheduled vaccines

  • Didn’t eat that extra piece of cake

  • Took a walk along the river even though it was cold

  • Slept later than usual

  • Went to yoga class

  • Meditated

 


It’s Your Turn to Invite Change

Which categories in your life are you looking to change? What is one thing you can do today that will bring you closer to that goal? With this in mind, what will you be glad you did today? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 


How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, planning, or inviting positive change? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Change is possible, especially with support.

 

 
 
New Exciting Bedroom Fun Look Transformation: From Possibility to Reality

It’s a funny thing about possibilities. Dreaming and imagining are part of a possibility-thinking process. Simultaneously, angst, ambivalence, or uncertainty can also be present. Why is that?

You understand and live your current reality. It may not be how you want it, but it’s familiar. Thinking about alternatives can be thrilling, anxiety-producing, or scary. Change requires time, attention, and resources, which you might or might not have.

Something happened to me recently. Who knew a seemingly simple guest bedroom renovation and organizing project would be such an emotional, satisfying, liberating, and poignant experience?

For years, I wanted to reimagine our guest bedroom. Initially, the room was my art studio and office. After our first daughter, Allison, was born, it became her bedroom. When her sister, Cassie, was born, it became their shared space, “the girls’ room.” Fast-forward to them leaving for college, and it turned into a guest room. However, while I made a few minor changes after they left, I never altered the wall colors, window treatments, or closet.

The girls said, “Mom, you can change the room any way you want. It’s OK.” They repeated this message to me for years. The kids had moved on and kept encouraging me to, too. However, part of me wasn’t ready to let go of certain remnants of their living-at-home years. How could I paint over Allison’s murals or cover up the pencil growth chart markings? Also, I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to figure out how I wanted the room to be until now.

 

 


Possibilities Meet the Moment

What shifted? We had other home improvement projects happening, and I knew that the guest room’s time had come. My motivation to make this change was heightened. I didn’t want another year to pass without completing this goal. I was finally ready to turn possibilities into reality.

 

 

9 Phases of the Guest Bedroom Project

  • Imagine – Envision the possibilities. What do I want the room to look and feel like? How can I make it comfortable for guests and also include functional storage? What will the color scheme be? Can I refer to old vision boards or other visual inspiration sources?

  • Plan – Think through the process. How much time do I need to complete this project? Where can we (my husband, Steve, and I) carve out time in our schedule to work on this? How much of this project can we do ourselves? How much outside help do we need? Should we rip out and install a new closet interior or only paint the existing one?

  • Gather Resources – Identify vendors and resources. Which vendors can I use for painting and construction, purchasing blinds, framing, buying furniture, and redoing the closet? Which vendors are best for buying organizing containers and other products?

  • Budget – Determine the costs. What estimates do I need to get? What will different parts of the project cost (painting, furniture, headboard, bedding, blinds, closet, bins)? What is our overall budget?

  • Empty – Prepare the space for transformation. What must be removed from the room to prepare for painting and construction, and when can we empty it? How can I prepare emotionally for the temporary chaos and disruption?

  • Renovate – Do the work. How many days will the painter need to prepare, demo the closet, patch, and paint? After the room is painted and before we return the contents, when can Steve install the new Elfa® closet? When can Steve install the new window blinds?

  • Edit – Make decisions about room contents. Which items can I let go of by selling, donating, tossing, or giving away? Which things will return to the room? Which items need to be replaced? Which items belong elsewhere?

  • Organize – Return ‘keepers’ in an organized way. How will the contents be organized back into the room? Which items will need new storage containers? Do they need labels?

  • Finish – Complete the final touches. When will all furniture, lights, books, memorabilia, and games be returned to the room? Which bedding will I use? When can we hang the pictures, mount the wall hooks, and add the door stop? When will I consider the room done?

 

 

Emotional Surprises

When we emptied the room to prepare for the painter, I was surprised by how emotional I felt. I was physically handling boxes of the kiddos’ memorabilia, photo albums, books, games, and art. Touching, moving, and looking at objects from the past stirred up many emotions. I felt a powerful combination of gratitude, sadness, joy, and love.

I saw photos and objects from the past. Some images were of loved ones who are no longer alive. I looked at the kids’ art, writings, and school projects. I marveled at our detailed records of the milestones and everyday experiences. It was a journey of emotions as I reflected and remembered the beautiful years we spent raising our daughters.

Even when the room was empty, I could feel the love reverberating within its walls. Cherished memories traveled through time and space, which filled my heart and mind.

Bringing possibilities to fruition is gratifying.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Practicing Flexibility

During the project, I remained flexible about my options, which was helpful. When a room's contents are removed, many unanticipated things can happen. Gifting yourself the flexibility to make new or different choices is beneficial.

  • Closet – The closet required some thought. Do we paint the existing closet or rip it out to install a new one? It would cost more to have a new closet interior. However, time-wise, it seemed most practical to redo it now. Plus, we would gain more storage space.

  • Furniture – After emptying the room, we liked how spacious it felt with less. While we intended to return the desk, we realized it was unnecessary and took up too much space. I’m letting go of the desk.

  • Art – After emptying the room and painting the interior, Allison’s murals and other framed art were no longer visible. With blank walls, I reimagined the space. We decided to have more blank wall space and only hang a few pieces, including a new one. I printed and framed one of the landscape photos I had taken in the Finger Lakes.

  • Memorabilia – I texted the kiddos photos and asked what they wanted to keep. I respected their responses and either let go or kept things accordingly. I also shared several pictures of their projects, writings, and other memorabilia I thought they’d get a kick out of seeing.

 

 

9 Lessons Learned

  • Imagining possibilities is fun and creative.

  • Bringing possibilities to fruition is gratifying.

  • Change is refreshing.

  • Change encourages more change.

  • Emptying one room sparked a reimagining, tweaking, and reorganizing of other areas, such as the pantry and our bedroom.

  • Letting go of things that have overstayed their welcome is liberating.

  • Life has stages. Organizing your space for the phase you’re in is affirming.

  • Embrace gratitude for what was and what is.


The Bedroom Transformation Video


What’s Possible for You?

How does possibility thinking show up for you? What changes have you made or want to make? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Are you ready to get unstuck, plan a new project, or create new organizing systems? If so, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Moving forward is possible, especially with support.

 
 
One Excellent Tool to Assess Clutter's Impact on Your Mental Health

Have you wondered how clutter affects your mental health and well-being? As a Professional Organizer for over 30 years who works with individuals challenged by disorganization, I have seen firsthand how clutter can negatively impact behaviors, self-esteem, and mental health. I’m about to share an insightful tool for assessing the impact of clutter on your life.

Recently, Melissa Tracey interviewed me for the Houselogic article, How Clutter Creates Stress and Anxiety: Strategies for Decluttering, and a podcast for The Housing Muse about the relationship between home clutter and its effect on mental health.

Many of my clients have mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, and OCD. Clutter can worsen issues by increasing feelings of stress, anxiety, sadness, frustration, and overwhelm. While professional organizers can help with specific strategies to reduce clutter and increase organization, having the support of a mental health professional can be essential.

 

 

Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. It began in 1949 to reduce the stigma around mental health conditions and provide awareness, support, and resources. The World Health Organization states:

  • 1 in every 8 people, or 970 million people in the world, live with a mental disorder

  • Anxiety and depressive disorders are the most common

  • Mental disorders involve significant disturbances in thinking, emotional regulation, or behavior

  • Most people do not have access to adequate care

Contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for information, helplines, and support.

 

 

Self-Assessment Clutter Tool

The Clutter Quality of Life Scale (CQLS) was developed by Dr. Catherine Roster, Associate Professor at Anderson School of Management at the University of New Mexico, with help from volunteers from the Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD). Catherine is a dynamo, and I had the privilege of working with her on the ICD Board.

The CQLS is a self-assessment tool “designed to measure inward, or subjective, consequences of clutter from the individual’s perspective.” Clutter is defined as “an overabundance of possessions.”

The CQLS scale contains 18 statements about clutter, which a person rates from 1 = strongly disagree and 7 = strongly agree.” These statements reflect the level of negative consequences clutter has on four areas: your relationships, personal finances, the livability or functionality of your home and space, and feelings of anxiety, guilt, and depression. Here are a few examples from the assessment:

  • Social impact: “I avoid having people come to my house because of the clutter.”

  • Livability impact: “I have to be careful when walking through my home in order to avoid tripping over objects.”

  • Financial impact: “I often buy things I already have because I don’t know where things are in my home.”

  • Emotional impact: “I feel depressed by the clutter in my home.”

Click on the link to take the CQLS assessment.

I feel depressed by the clutter in my home.
— The Clutter Quality of Life Scale


Personal Impact of Clutter on Mental Health and Well-Being

Clutter shows up in many ways and can negatively affect your mental health and well-being. Here are a few examples of what you might experience:

  • Your sink is always full of dishes, which makes it difficult to cook and eat nutritiously. It also affects your energy and health.

  • Your bed is cluttered with clothing waiting to be cleaned or put away. You’re been unable to sleep there for weeks. As a result, your anxiety increases as your lack of sleep, energy levels, decision-making abilities, and mood suffer.

  • Your papers are in piles on your kitchen counter. You can’t find the bill you know is due tomorrow. Your anxiety increases as you search for the bill. Hours later, you discover it buried in a pile in another room.

Have you noticed ways clutter affects mental health and well-being? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you are struggling with clutter and mental health issues, don’t go it alone. Get the support you need from a Professional Organizer like me and a mental health provider.

Reach out and email me, Linda, at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Decluttering is possible, especially with support.

 
How to Joyfully Grow and Thrive When Life Feels Like Complete Chaos

When the world within and around you is drenched in chaos, how can you thrive? Humans are complicated beings. We can simultaneously hold profoundly opposite ideas, emotions, and thoughts. We can experience love and safety when wrapped in our loved one’s embrace. We can also experience intense pain when we hear news about wars, hate, displacement, and heartache. The hard stuff can weigh so heavily on you that it can feel impossible to thrive. You might even feel guilty about experiencing joy when there is so much suffering.

Several years ago, I listened to a conversation about opening and cultivating the human heart with Frank Ostaseki, co-founder of The Zen Hospice Project, and Roshi Joan Halifax, Ph.D., Buddhist teacher and Founder of Upaya Zen Center. One of the ideas that resonated with me then and even more now is that hope is essential, especially in a “time of radical uncertainty.” Hope is not about “sappy positivity,” bypassing the truth of suffering, or thinking that everything will be OK.

 

Thoughts About Hope

During the conversation, Ostaseki and Halifax shared their perspectives about hope:

  • Hope helps us go beyond the rational.

  • Hope can be the flip side of fear.

  • Hope is not based on optimism.

  • Hope is a surprise. It’s light and buoyant and not about a particular outcome.

  • Hope reflects an understanding that what we do matters, even though we don’t know how, why, who it will touch, or what will unfold from our actions.

  • Hope is resistant to futility.

  • Hope resides in resourcefulness.

  • Hope speaks to possibilities.

While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

31 Ways to Thrive and Feel Joyful During Chaotic Times

Having hope contributes to being able to thrive. Without it, we give up. Take an active role in cultivating hope. Nourish yourself and others, and create a solid base to grow from. During chaotic times, there are so many things that seem futile. Instead, focus on engaging in simple actions or observations in your control. Hope will grow from there. Consider:

  • Watching the fall leaves gently float to the ground

  • Taking a walk along the river with a good friend

  • Getting a good night’s sleep

  • Eating a nutritious and delicious meal

  • Feeling the warm sun on your face

  • Hugging your loved ones

  • Reading or listening to uplifting books, articles, and podcasts

  • Planning something you will look forward to doing

  • Taking a road trip, even a local one

  • Brewing and slowly sipping a hot cup of tea

  • Curling up on the sofa, wrapped in your favorite soft, cozy blanket

  • Learning something new

  • Listening to your favorite music

  • Practicing mindfulness meditation

  • Organizing that one room that is ready to be tamed

  • Helping something to grow

  • Focusing on the inhale and exhale of your breath

  • Making something with your hands

  • Pausing in the middle of your day to regroup and reset

  • Listening to the sounds of laughter

  • Laughing

  • Writing in your journal

  • Smiling at a stranger

  • Having a ‘do nothing’ day

  • Checking in by phone, email, text, or in person on your loved ones

  • Doing something outside of your comfort zone

  • Helping a client set boundaries, establish priorities, and get unstuck

  • Noting what you are grateful for

  • Offering compassion and kindness to someone you do or don’t know

  • Refusing to give up

  • Listening to your intuition


Life is a mixture of joy, pain, and everything in between. As humans, we know this is true. Yet even so, it can be challenging to navigate the sadness when your life and the world feel so chaotic and unhinged. While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled. You never know how your actions or words will uplift someone else. Be gentle with yourself and others. Nourish your being to have the energy to extend more kindness and compassion to yourself and others.

What helps you thrive during challenging times? What brings you hope? How do you make your ‘corner’ better? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.