On my recent walks this week, I noticed more leaves changing colors. The luminous sun embraced the intensely colored foliage and highlighted the shifts in the fall palette. Frequently, I paused to fully appreciate the beauty. I saw the brilliant warm reds, oranges, and yellows juxtaposed with the cooler greens. I felt the gentle, refreshing breeze on my face as I heard the rustling of the leaves above. During the later part of the holiday season, a commonly overheard phrase is “winter wonderland.” Today feels like a fall fantasy ripe with possibilities. Are you feeling motivated? Are you sensing a change? What is possible?

I look forward to the intimate monthly virtual gatherings led by my wonderful friend and incredible Life Coach, Yota Schneider. At the retreat, we meditate, journal, and share our thoughts. She selects a theme each time, and this month was The Season of Change. During the gathering, she told us about Chris Bianco, an “inspiring pizza man from the Bronx,” and his philosophy on life. He sees life as a “petri dish of possibilities.” What a concept and approach to living!

While we typically think of a petri dish in a scientific context where microorganism cultures are developed in a small shallow container, there is another definition. Something that fosters development or innovation can be a petri dish too. A petri dish of possibilities supports a growth mindset. You’re not a stuck, fixed being. You can stretch, create, change, and imagine.

Have you ever felt stuck? If so, you’re not alone. We all get stuck at times. There can be many reasons why or when that happens. Often our thoughts keep us fixated on a single idea, and we have difficulty changing the script. What if you integrated the “petri dish of possibilities” into your consciousness? Would that open up your thinking?

At times having too many options creates paralysis. When numerous choices make you feel stuck, the ‘petri dish’ phrase isn’t a great choice. However, in many situations, it is a useful concept to engage.

“Life is a petri dish of possibilities.”

— Chris Bianco

The phrases you repeat in your mind can change the trajectory of where you’re going. Are these affirmations helpful?

• I am moving forward.

• I am no longer stuck.

• I am making a choice.

• I am taking action.

• If my action isn’t effective, I will experiment with something else.

• I will embrace what’s possible.

• I see a petri dish of possibilities.

It’s fall. Change is all around. Are you thinking about what’s possible? Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

What is one of the biggest obstacles that prevent you from making the changes you want? Our automatic negative thoughts, aka ANTS, can be a change blocker. They can damage your self-esteem, make you doubt your decisions, stop you from reaching your goals, or keep you stuck in a loop of negativity. What becomes possible when you transform negative energy and shift to a positive, growth-oriented mindset? How could that change benefit you?

Recently I was struggling with some personal ANTS. I discovered several strategies for working with and changing persistent negative self-talk. Shower yourself with love. In celebration of February, the love month, I encourage you to keep those warm Valentine’s Day feelings alive and extend some extra love and compassion to yourself.

As you consider these strategies I learned, I hope they will help you reframe the negativity and flourish.

5 Ways to Empower Change by Quieting Your Negative Self-Talk

During a weekly Executive Mom Nest coaching session, Leesa Askew, incredible colleague, Nest Advisor, and Transformational Coach, presented ideas about making your mindset an asset. To do that, she shared ways to “change the channel…change the programming.” Leesa learned these ANTS-busting strategies from Dr. Daniel Amen.

1. Write Affirmations

Create affirmations to counteract those ANTS. Write down three to five uplifting phrases you can repeat and keep in view. You can use your own words or find a favorite quote. This is one of Leesa’s personal favorites:

“I am always in the right place at the right time in the right state of mind.” 

If you feel stuck finding your words and want to try something fun, check out the interactive Affirmation Wheel my husband shared with me from Noom. When I clicked on the wheel, it coincidentally landed on this one:

“I have the power to create change.” 

How awesome is that? The next time doubt creeps in, I’ll have this affirmation ready to work its magic.

2.  Use Music

As Leesa said, music is a powerful force that “can stimulate the brain” and put you in a “subliminal trance.” She suggests creating a “Killing the ANTS Playlist.”  Which songs lift you up, bring a smile to your face, and shift your mood from crummy to happy? Music can completely alter how we feel. What songs will you include on your playlist? 

Here are several from mine:

• Respect – Aretha Franklin

• Happy – Pharrell Williams

• Better Together – Jack Johnson

• Stand By Me – Ben King

• Can’t Get What You Want – The Rolling Stones

• With A Little Help From My Friends – The Beatles

Pharrell Williams - Happy (video)

3. Get Physical

Interestingly, any type of physical activity can energize you and stop those negative thoughts from surfacing. Leesa shared how 25 jumping jacks can give you more energy than drinking two cups of coffee. Plus, physical movement has the added bonus of shifting your mindset to the positive. 

The next time your ANTS come marching in, stand up, get moving, and say bye-bye to the negativity. Take a brisk walk, go on a bike ride, dance around the house (using your new playlist, of course,) or do those 25 jumping jacks. You’ve got this!

“I have the power to create change.”

— Noom, Affirmation Wheel

Each week I receive Todd Henry’s 3 Things email, the “creative sparks to help you do better work.”  This week’s edition was well-timed because Todd included strategies for counteracting the negative “chatter” in your head. Hello, negative self-talk!

Todd referenced his podcast conversation with Dr. Ethan Kross, psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and author of Chatter – The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.  I love these ideas Todd shared from the podcast with Dr. Kross, and I hope you do too.

4. Address Yourself

When negative self-talk takes over, “speak countering messages directly to yourself, and call yourself by name when you do it.” This is so powerful. If I rewrite my affirmation from number one above, it becomes,

“Linda, you have the power to create change.”

Coming in loudly and clearly. What message do you need to hear?

5. Welcome Growth

We often receive feedback, which may be unsolicited or not. When the comment isn’t favorable, doubt and negative self-talk can surface. I love this suggestion for redirecting that energy.

“Refuse to personalize critiques, but instead see them as an opportunity for growth.” 

Adopting the growth mindset is valuable in all situations. It shifts the focus from being defensive or thinking, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ to ‘what can I learn from this?’ 

Are there changes you’d like to pursue but find that ANTS create an obstacle? Which strategies resonate with you? Do you have other ways to counterbalance negative self-talk? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Amy Deagle

Dynamic thought leaders are featured for our “Ask the Expert” interview series. This year we’ve spoken with Whitney Johnson about success, Cameron Gott about enlisting help, Dr. Thomas Armstrong about motivation, Harold Taylor about time management, Erin Rooney Doland about clutter, Francine Jay about letting go, Todd Henry about next steps, Dr. Debbie Grove about change, and Joshua Becker about fresh starts. For October, I’m excited to have with us marketing strategist and coach, Amy Deagle to share her insights about possibility thinking.

As I mentioned during last month’s interview, one of the perks of being active on social media is meeting interesting people that I might not have met otherwise. That’s how I met Amy. Her positive attitude and possibility mindset caught my attention. I wanted to learn more about her ideas for suspending doubt and thinking bigger, so I invited Amy to join us. Before we begin the interview, here’s more about her.

Amy Deagle is a Personal Brand Strategist and Business Coach for networkers who are ready to step up and claim their spot as the CEO of their business, stand out from the competition and help more people than they ever thought possible. Through her proprietary Possibility to Prosperity System™ and Credibility Booster Formula™ she helps others create one of a kind, obsession-sparking businesses and brands to magnetically attract publicity, success and sales. When she’s not transforming girl-next-door businesses into A-List’er brands, she’s obsessing over fabulous stilettos, binge watching Scandal or two-stepping her way to the front row of country music concert. You can connect with Amy on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or website.

Linda Samuels: As a self-described “Lifestyle Designer,” you help others pursue a “life of audacious possibility.” What are some ways to create an environment that nurtures possibility thinking?

Amy Deagle: Make sure that you have your mind in line. By that I mean, make sure you are filling up your brain with positivity and affirmations. Drown out the negative nelly in your head. To start imagining a life of audacious possibility you need to first believe that it is possible for you.

Linda:  What is one obstacle we might encounter? 

Amy:Mindset gunk. We are our own worst enemy. Getting out of your own way and overcoming resistance is a daily battle, but you must take action everyday towards your goal.

Linda:  What are some techniques or questions to ask for imagining possibilities?

Amy:

• If anything were truly possible what would I want for my life?

• If no one was going to be mad, disappointed or upset, how would I actually want to spend my time?

• What service could I provide to the world if I didn’t care what anyone else would think?

• If I had unlimited funds for a year, to spend how and when I wanted, with the caveat that I must do something of service for the world, what would that be?

• How would I spend my free time?

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around embracing possibilities?

Amy: I have a horrible negative nelly in my head. She is something fierce. It is a daily battle to make sure that I don’t let that negative, scared piece run my life. But even with fear, you just have to jump. You are never going to know what is possible unless you try.

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about the possibility mindset?

Amy: As soon as you think you have one path figured out, another one pops up that is even bigger, even better than what you could have possibly imagined … possibility is unlimited … once you start reveling in that mindset, new opportunities and possibilities unfold effortlessly.

Thank you, Amy for joining us. I’m sure that many of us relate to the battle between suspending negative messages and encouraging positive ones to thrive. As you mentioned, sometimes we need to push forward anyway, even when we’re afraid or doubting ourselves. I also like the questions you posed, which helps us get out of our own way, suspend our fears, and play the “possibility” game. And my new favorite term, "mindset gunk." We have to floss the brain of that stuff, right?

Join Amy and me as we continue the conversation. What resonates with you?