Resistance is something we’ve all experienced at one time or another. Resistance can be an indicator or an internal alert system to stop you from doing something harmful. However, it can also prevent you from growing, learning, and embracing something extraordinary, like the fresh start a new month or year brings.

Do you remember when you pulled back instead of leaning into an idea, opportunity, or suggestion? Maybe you encountered an external or internal “should” statement that elicited the response, “No way am I going to do that!” Or, perhaps fear showed up when a significant opportunity presented itself. Instead of embracing the unknown, you retreated.

One of the weekly emails I enjoy receiving is from my business and website consultant, Tanya Moushi. Recently, she mentioned writer Steven Pressfield’s characterization of resistance as “the artful insidious feeling that holds us back from doing the things that are meaningful to us.” What a powerful force when resistance prevents us from doing what we truly desire.

I personally experience and also frequently observe resistance with my virtual organizing clients. There can be a disconnect between the work and habit changes needed to achieve desired goals. That disconnect can show up as resistance. My clients might want to live with less clutter, yet they resist letting go. They might wish to clear living and working spaces, but they continue purchasing more to fill those areas.

Acknowledging resistance is part of the work we do together. We notice when it appears and talk about what it indicates and how to work with it.

I’m still in the vision board-creating process and will share more about it in the coming weeks. However, I chose my theme for the year: “What would it take?” In Zoe Chance’s Influence is Your Superpower, she writes about how this is the magic question that cuts excuses and respectfully opens the door for “surprising answers that you would never have expected.”

The question, “What would it take?” acts as my resistance melter. I’ve been actively experimenting with that question to help me when I encounter resistance to:

• Letting go of unhelpful thoughts

• Getting unstuck when the next step isn’t clear

• Shifting my perspective

• Making complicated plans

• Getting out of my own way

“What would it take?”

— Zoe Chance

With the start of this year, you have an opportunity to embrace the motivation a new beginning brings. If you resist the changes you want to make, it’s worth exploring what that’s about. Is it indicating there is something you, in fact, don’t want to change? Or is fear or uncertainty blocking you? What would it take to move forward? If you need clarity to figure it out, please reach out. I’m ready to help.

How are you making the most of your fresh start? Where have you encountered resistance? What has helped you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Amy Deagle

Dynamic thought leaders are featured for our “Ask the Expert” interview series. This year we’ve spoken with Whitney Johnson about success, Cameron Gott about enlisting help, Dr. Thomas Armstrong about motivation, Harold Taylor about time management, Erin Rooney Doland about clutter, Francine Jay about letting go, Todd Henry about next steps, Dr. Debbie Grove about change, and Joshua Becker about fresh starts. For October, I’m excited to have with us marketing strategist and coach, Amy Deagle to share her insights about possibility thinking.

As I mentioned during last month’s interview, one of the perks of being active on social media is meeting interesting people that I might not have met otherwise. That’s how I met Amy. Her positive attitude and possibility mindset caught my attention. I wanted to learn more about her ideas for suspending doubt and thinking bigger, so I invited Amy to join us. Before we begin the interview, here’s more about her.

Amy Deagle is a Personal Brand Strategist and Business Coach for networkers who are ready to step up and claim their spot as the CEO of their business, stand out from the competition and help more people than they ever thought possible. Through her proprietary Possibility to Prosperity System™ and Credibility Booster Formula™ she helps others create one of a kind, obsession-sparking businesses and brands to magnetically attract publicity, success and sales. When she’s not transforming girl-next-door businesses into A-List’er brands, she’s obsessing over fabulous stilettos, binge watching Scandal or two-stepping her way to the front row of country music concert. You can connect with Amy on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or website.

Linda Samuels: As a self-described “Lifestyle Designer,” you help others pursue a “life of audacious possibility.” What are some ways to create an environment that nurtures possibility thinking?

Amy Deagle: Make sure that you have your mind in line. By that I mean, make sure you are filling up your brain with positivity and affirmations. Drown out the negative nelly in your head. To start imagining a life of audacious possibility you need to first believe that it is possible for you.

Linda:  What is one obstacle we might encounter? 

Amy:Mindset gunk. We are our own worst enemy. Getting out of your own way and overcoming resistance is a daily battle, but you must take action everyday towards your goal.

Linda:  What are some techniques or questions to ask for imagining possibilities?

Amy:

• If anything were truly possible what would I want for my life?

• If no one was going to be mad, disappointed or upset, how would I actually want to spend my time?

• What service could I provide to the world if I didn’t care what anyone else would think?

• If I had unlimited funds for a year, to spend how and when I wanted, with the caveat that I must do something of service for the world, what would that be?

• How would I spend my free time?

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around embracing possibilities?

Amy: I have a horrible negative nelly in my head. She is something fierce. It is a daily battle to make sure that I don’t let that negative, scared piece run my life. But even with fear, you just have to jump. You are never going to know what is possible unless you try.

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about the possibility mindset?

Amy: As soon as you think you have one path figured out, another one pops up that is even bigger, even better than what you could have possibly imagined … possibility is unlimited … once you start reveling in that mindset, new opportunities and possibilities unfold effortlessly.

Thank you, Amy for joining us. I’m sure that many of us relate to the battle between suspending negative messages and encouraging positive ones to thrive. As you mentioned, sometimes we need to push forward anyway, even when we’re afraid or doubting ourselves. I also like the questions you posed, which helps us get out of our own way, suspend our fears, and play the “possibility” game. And my new favorite term, "mindset gunk." We have to floss the brain of that stuff, right?

Join Amy and me as we continue the conversation. What resonates with you?

What happens when we let ourselves make excuses? We all do it at some point, don’t we? Whether we can’t move ahead because we’re stuck, tired, sad, time poor, or unenthusiastic, we can be really good at coming up with those “can’t dos.” I will fess up that while typically I’m excellent at activating and doing, there have been darker periods when it’s just harder to think of the possibilities and moving forward.

One way to stop the negative cycle is to pay attention to the excuses. Be an investigator and use the excuses as clues to figure out how to move past them. In the spirit of this fall season, with colors and temperatures changing, why not use this time as an opportunity for opening up the possibilities and get over of the excuses? Here is the short list.

5 Tips to Eliminate Your Excuses

1. I’m stuck.

Tip: What is making you feel stuck? Is there too much information to choose from? Are you unsure about what to do next? Think about narrowing the choices or putting parameters around the amount of research you need before moving forward. Make the next step very small. If that's a challenge, ask a trusted friend or confidant to help figure out the one small action to take that will move you beyond stuck.

2. I’m tired.

Tip: Being exhausted makes it more difficult to focus, plan, and act. It’s important to take care of basic needs. If you are tired, then pay attention to your sleep habits. Is it time to revisit the amount of sleep you’re getting? How about the quality of your sleep? For example, I need between 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night to feel rested and ready for the next day. If I get less than that, it takes me days to get back my energy.

3. I’m sad.

Tip: Life is filled with high and low points. It’s normal to experience periods of sadness. Sadness can occur for many reasons including grief, divorce, seasonal affective disorder, emotional contagion, or hormonal shifts. If however, your sadness is extended and unshakeable, consider reaching out for professional help from a therapist or other medical professional. You can feel better, but you may need outside help to get there.

4. I’m time poor.

Tip: As far as I know, time is a level playing field. We all have 24 hours each day. It’s true that some of us pack more into those 24 hours than others, but it still comes down to choice and self-management. For every “yes,” you make, “no” gets said to something else. This isn’t a quick or easy process, but begin examining your values and needs. Once you’re clearer on those, build your choices and schedule from there. What is most meaningful and important will become integral to your daily experience. You will be more purposeful in your choices of how your time is being managed.

5. I’m unenthusiastic.

Tip: This is a huge indicator. When you’re resistant about doing something or moving forward, very often it’s because there is a “should” involved. This negatively effects our motivation. When I notice this happening, I stop to do some soul searching to make sure that the activity in question deserves my time and energy. Very often, I realize that letting go or making a different choice is the better option. Follow your passions and the enthusiasm and energy will be there to sustain you.

Do any of these seem familiar to you? What other excuses have you heard? What tip can you share to help? Come join the conversation.