Ask the Expert: Dr. Debbie Grove

The “Ask the Expert” interview series continues to connect you with dynamic industry thought leaders. Last month, author and minimalist, Joshua Becker, talked with us about fresh starts. This month I’m thrilled to have with us psychologist, Dr. Debbie Grove to share her unique perspective and thoughts about change.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Twitter? Through social media, one of my great joys has been connecting with amazing people like Debbie. Our paths have crossed in the virtual world where we’ve had the opportunity to get to know one another. Debbie is passionate about change, which the main focus of her therapy practice. She said, “Working on change is a rewarding experience.” My gratitude and thanks goes to Debbie for taking the time to join us. You’re going to love her ideas and practical strategies about change. Before we begin, here’s more about her.

Dr. Debbie Grove has been engaged in facilitating change for individuals, couples, and organizations for over 15 years in capacities such as manager, executive director, board of director member, and psychologist. Her career arenas have included not-for-profit organizations, municipal government, colleges and universities, employee assistance programs, and private practice. She is currently focusing on providing psychological services for depression, anxiety, relationships, marriage counseling, career transition, life coaching, health and well-being, midlife issues, self-esteem, communication, loss, and family of origin issues. Dr. Grove completed a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology at the University of Calgary where she researched midlife depression, adult learning, and counseling processes. You can connect with Debbie on Twitter, LinkedIn or website.

Linda Samuels:  As a psychologist, one of your specialties is helping people navigate change. What enables us to successfully embrace change?

Dr. Debbie Grove:  The following represent my key tips for navigating change successfully:

• Be clear about what you want to change and why.
• Realize that change takes time, commitment, and effort.
• Learn to be patient and kind with yourself.
• Accept setbacks as a natural part of the change process; they are bound to happen and are not a sign of failure, rather an important part of the learning.
• Establish specific action steps.  Achieving each step helps build momentum, confidence and a positive attitude about the change process.

Linda:  What are some common challenges we encounter when seeking the changes we desire?

Debbie:  I find that people tend to take on too much change all at once. In turn, this elevates stress and anxiety as the changes become unmanageable, difficult to prioritize and overwhelming. This sometimes indicates that sufficient time to reflect, brainstorm, and plan for change has not taken place. Given that change undoubtedly has to be incorporated into every day living, one goal at a time is best. Moreover, this facilitates the capacity to focus and to stay focused on the targeted area of change.

Linda:  Do you have any strategies for managing doubt, fear, and uncertainty that often accompany transitions and change?

Debbie:  Change often involves letting go of one aspect of life in order to gain another, making sacrifices, compromising, and incorporating life adjustments. At first, the mere idea of these adjustments can generate discomfort; after all, veering away from one’s comfort zone can be a distressing proposition.  In my work as a psychologist, here are some of my primary strategies for managing the psychological components of change:

• Ongoing self-care (e.g., sleep, nutrition, exercise, social support), especially since life transitions and change tend to generate stress and deplete the immune system.
• Maintain a positive outlook about change and effectively managing unhealthy thinking patterns (e.g., all-or-nothing thinking).
• Remind yourself about the good outcomes that will result from the change process – balancing this future-orientation with staying grounded in the here-and-now. Sometimes I suggest visual cues such as a vision board that profiles images of outcomes and goals that one hopes to achieve as the result of change. Celebrate the small milestones along the way.
• Seek out supports, resources and outlets to release stress, fear, and anxiety (e.g., going to the gym, venting with a friend, and journaling).

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about change?

Debbie:  One of the biggest myths about change relates to motivation. Avoiding the beginning stages of change waiting for motivation to kick in can prevent people from getting started. Understandably, change might be put off as a result of fear and uncertainty. Taking a first step, or behaving one’s way toward change, is a much more effective approach. The motivation will come a bit later once a person has begun to experience some forward movement toward their goal. Once the ball gets rolling, self-efficacy starts to set in – change is then perceived as more possible and achievable.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around change?

Debbie:  When I decided to complete graduate school during my midlife years, it meant significant life changes, sacrifices, and re-establishing priorities. That period was very challenging. Being clear about my goals, facing and acting upon the needed changes, and developing realistic strategies to make the necessary life adjustments was all part of making a career dream a reality. Staying focused on the positive outcomes associated with change was very helpful for me!

Debbie, your no-nonsense approach to change is refreshing. Your emphasis on self-care, patience, singular focus, acknowledgement of “setbacks,” good support system, and positive outlook, especially resonated with me. Thank you for sharing your practical approach for embracing positive, successful change.

Please join Debbie and me as we continue the conversation. We’d love to hear your thoughts about navigating change. What resonates with you?