Having an array of emotions is part of being human. There are no good or bad ones. However, at times, our strong emotions can make clear thoughts challenging. In fact, some emotions like anxiety, sadness, or fear can cause procrastination or completely zap our motivation.

When the amygdala, the primitive, emotional region of the brain, becomes the boss, it creates a cycle that activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight.) The good news is many self-help strategies are available to help switch your internal gears from fight or flight to the rest and digest, parasympathetic nervous system mode.

When calmer, you can more readily access the pre-frontal cortex, a part of the brain that helps with decision-making, organization, attention, planning, emotional regulation, and impulse control. In this more relaxed state, you can reset and access the motivation to move forward.

Recently, I attended a meeting with fellow Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She led a workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.) The four-step process is helpful when making behavioral changes. ACT encourages working towards a value rather than avoiding something. In other words, focus your energy on something positive you want to be or do instead of on something negative you wish to avoid.

The ACT process:

1. Identify a value. Who or what do I want to be?

2. Identify feelings. What “yucky” feelings get in the way?

3. Identify relief valves. When you feel these things, what behaviors occur?

4. Create a nourishment menu. What behaviors will feel helpful, sustainable, and give perspective when experiencing the “yucky” feelings?

Your nourishment menu is where self-help strategies thrive. For example, when feeling anxious, you might engage in negative self-talk, binge-watching, or eating sugar-heavy snacks. What if you acknowledged and noticed those feelings when you felt anxious and instead, engaged in more helpful behaviors from the nourishment menu? Below are some suggestions. I’d love to know which of these or other ones work best for you.

20 Self-Help Strategies - Nourishment Menu

• Journal

• Meditate

• Take a walk

• Change your setting

• Organize or clean

• Create boundaries

• Breathe slowly

• Get a massage

• Hug a loved one for at least 20 seconds

• Run or exercise

• Watch leaves flutter

• Light a scented candle

• Use humor

• Rest

• Read

• Pet your dog or cat

• Listen to or play music

• Take a shower or bath

• Help someone else

• Talk with a friend, family member, or professional

I had a recent anxiety-inducing experience when I inadvertently deleted the most current 45 days of emails from my inbox. After long calls with tech support at Apple and Carbonite, it became clear that the emails might be retrieved, but not without many more hours spent with tech support and possibly worse complications.

A tech hiccup is never convenient. My plans to accomplish a lot that day were derailed because of the anxiety inability to focus. At a point, I decided to let it go and not retrieve the emails. However, I was still anxious and not functioning well. My emotions were in high gear, and my brain was foggy. So what did I do?

“Your ‘nourishment menu’ is where self-help strategies thrive.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I grabbed my journal and wrote. As the inky pen glided along the smooth paper, my heart beat rapidly, and my stomach was in knots. I wrote about the ‘gone’ emails, my anxious feelings, the power they had to deactivate my motivation, the shift in my emotional state of feeling calmer as I wrote, and the choice to let this go and move on. I noticed my environment (birds chirping, trees swaying), took several deep breaths, and shifted gears to write about positive memories from the mini vacation we just had.

After journaling, I met a dear friend for a walk along the river. We talked, laughed, and I shared the email saga with her. Not knowing about the nourishment menu at the time, I realized after how I had used several of these strategies to calm my anxiety, let go, and reset.

What self-help strategies work for you when your strong emotions take over? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The newest installment (v34) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature has my latest finds informing, educating, and relating to organizing and life balance. These are unique, inspiring, next-step-related discoveries that reflect this month’s blog theme. 

You are a generous, communicative, and engaged group. I am deeply grateful for your presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Next Step-Related Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Positive Self-Talk Next

Is the voice in your head your biggest cheerleader or harshest critic? Does it guide you forward or prevent you from figuring out next? In Chatter – The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It, psychologist Ethan Kross shares strategies based on behavioral and brain research. He helps us understand how to quiet the negative self-talk and create a positive internal conversation. Kross says, “…when the inner voice runs amok and chatter takes the mental microphone, our mind not only torments but paralyzes us.”

Kross provides a few dozen tools for “helping people resolve the tension between getting caught in negative thought spirals and thinking clearly and constructively.” They include engaging in mental time travel, changing the view, writing expressively, creating a board of advisors, seeking awe-inspiring experiences, and increasing exposure to green spaces.

One strategy that especially resonated with me is creating order in your environment. Helping clients get organized for almost 30 years, I’ve seen the positive benefits of calming the internal chatter when the external environment is organized. Kross says, “Find your own way of organizing your space to help provide you with a sense of mental order.”

2. Interesting Assessment – Get Unstuck Next

Let’s face it. Universally, we all get stuck at some point. It can be challenging to figure out the next step when that happens. Be stuck no more. I created this handy, custom-designed Get Unstuck Wheel, and you can spin your way forward. Discover the strategy that works best for you. There are 36 ideas to try, including taking deep breaths, sleeping on it, reaching out for support, and switching gears. What helps you get unstuck? Did you spin the wheel? If so, where did it land?

“Take the smallest, tiniest next step.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

3. Interesting Article  – Perfectionism Insights Next

Do you or someone you know have perfectionist tendencies? If you want to struggle less, read Ashley Broadwater’s HuffPost article, “There Are 3 Types of Perfectionism. Which Category Are You?” Broadwater describes each type and some helpful coping strategies. Therapist Emily Simonian encourages her clients to focus on small, next steps. She said, “A perfectionist of any type will likely want a ‘big win’ quickly if trying to recover from perfectionism, but baby steps are key. … [Recovery] is very much attainable with practice.”

• Self-oriented perfection – You expect the best from and are extremely hard on yourself. Practicing self-care and self-compassion can help.

• Other-oriented perfectionism – You expect others to be a certain way and become upset when they don’t meet your expectations. Practicing gratitude and mindfulness is beneficial.

• Socially prescribed perfectionism – You rely heavily on others’ thoughts about how you act or look and fear rejection. Strengthening your positive inner voice will help. This could be an excellent time to read Chatter (see #1 above.) 

4. Interesting Season – Get Organized Next

As color returns to the landscape, daylight lasts longer, and temperature becomes warmer; this is an inspirational time of year. Spring is a wonderful season to set your organizing goals, declutter the extraneous, and create the calm you deserve. Change is possible, especially with support. Struggle no more. Enlist help from a compassionate and non-judgmental friend, family member, or professional organizer like me. I’m here to help. Discover the benefits of virtual organizing and why my clients love it so much. Call 914-271-5673, email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, or click the “Let’s talk!” button to schedule a discovery call. 

5. Interesting Thought – One Small Step Next

You want to declutter and organize your entire house, redo your filing and paper management systems, organize all of your photos and visual media, or change your organizing habits. However, these projects feel so large and overwhelming that you keep them as thoughts in your mind. No action gets taken because you feel stuck. It’s good to have the entire picture in your mind for what you want to achieve. However, you don’t have to know the whole plan. Take the smallest, tiniest next step. That is enough. Once that step is taken, acknowledge your progress and repeat the process. Continue taking action one little step at a time. 

What are your interesting, next step discoveries? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Letting go can be challenging, especially when we have strong emotional attachments to our things. You might wonder why you have to let go? You don’t. You always have a choice. However, there are pivotal moments in our lives when letting go is necessary and you’re struggling. Perhaps you are in the midst of a significant life change like moving or rightsizing. Maybe you lost a loved one and are responsible for editing and dispossessing their things. Or, perhaps you are overwhelmed with a mountain of belongings that no longer deserve physical or mental space in your life. When we combine emotional transitions with a propensity for strong attachments to our stuff, letting go can be difficult.

Minimalist Leo Babauta wrote something, which resonated with me. He referred to “the skill of letting go.”  All skills require practice. His description is infused with hope. It suggests that even if you are struggling with letting go, you can practice and improve. This is something I’ve experienced with my clients. The more they work at letting go, the less challenging it becomes.

4 Ways to Let Go of Things When Emotional Attachments are Powerful

1. Exercise Letting Go Muscles

I’ve always perceived letting go as a muscle that needs to be exercised like other muscles. However, we wouldn’t start lifting with a 100 lb. weight. We’d start small, maybe with a five-pounder, and build from there. This thought process is similar to letting go of the things we’re attached to. Exercise your letting go muscles by starting with the “lighter-weight” possessions like clothing or junk mail. Get a letting go rhythm established and work your way to the “heavier-weight” items that you feel more emotionally connected. Like most of us starting an exercise routine, it’s helpful to have an accountability partner or trainer. For help exercising your letting go muscles, hire a professional organizer like me, or work with a trusted friend or family member. It can make all the difference.

2. Normalize Emotional Attachments

It is prevalent, especially with people challenged by disorganization, to have strong emotional attachments to things. When attachments are heightened, identify and display your most valued treasures, set boundaries around what “enough” means, and use physical boundary parameters like a box or closet size. For items that get released, make the “homes” they go meaningful and that the places or people they are donated or given to will appreciate them. All of these things will make letting go easier to process.

“Letting go can be challenging, especially when we have strong emotional attachments to our things.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. Incentivize Letting Go

When we invite people over for a small gathering (tiny these days because of the pandemic,) what happens? Most of us become motivated to make our home guest-ready. This can include cleaning, decluttering, and letting go. Establishing a manufactured date can boost incentive for getting your home “good enough” for your company. Consider increasing the frequency of invitations to friends and family (using COVID safety protocols) as a dual incentive- more socializing time and increased opportunities to sort, edit, organize, and let go.

4. Minimize Kinesthetic Sympathy

When we physically touch things, it can increase our emotional attachment to them. This is the premise of kinesthetic sympathy. If you can, work with someone who can physically hold up the items for you while selecting what to keep or release. Putting physical distance and touch between you and the object can make decision-making more manageable. Physical space decreases emotional attachment and helps distinguish what is most treasured from the things that are no longer needed.

Do you or someone you know feel challenged with letting go? Do emotional attachments make it harder to let go? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

We have arrived in the second week of the New Year. Are you excited about the possibilities for the next twelve months? Are you in a reflecting and planning mode? Are you contemplating how to make the most of your fresh start that each New Year brings? Or do you feel frozen or stuck? Perhaps you started this year with a solid plan and are already in pursuit. Wherever you are in your fresh process, I discovered a secret sauce that can enhance it. 

As you might know, I practice daily mindfulness meditation. I prefer guided meditations and often use the Insight Timer app, which has thousands of meditations and teachers to choose from. One of my favorite guides is Tomek Wyczesany, a scientist, meditation teacher, and author. It’s fascinating that I often hear something new while I can practice the same meditation multiple times. This happened the other day when I was working with one of Tomek’s meditations. He said, “You are the active ingredient in everything that is about to happen.” 

What a powerful statement! Let’s think about that. He’s saying that you are the secret sauce, the “active ingredient.” How do we move through life? It starts with you, your desire, idea, or motivation. It is your rumblings for action that put things in motion. 

Does it mean we are the only active ingredients? I don’t think so. For example, when I’m working with my virtual organizing clients, they are active drivers of their organizing process. However, I am supporting them with focus, clarity, or ideas. We have become an active ingredients team. 

“You are the active ingredient in everything that is about to happen.”

— Tomek Wyczesany

In another context, think about how powerful it is to recognize the concept that you are “the active ingredient in everything that you do.” That means your mindset and actions are the drivers in your life. That can be positive or negative depending upon the messages you tell yourself. If things are not going as you want, you can change the path by shifting your thoughts and deeds. 

If you are struggling with moving forward, remember that you have the ingredients to activate. If you want to create an activation team, reach out to a family member, friend, or professional organizer like me.

Are you in a fresh start mode? What helps you to activate? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.