Having an array of emotions is part of being human. There are no good or bad ones. However, at times, our strong emotions can make clear thoughts challenging. In fact, some emotions like anxiety, sadness, or fear can cause procrastination or completely zap our motivation.

When the amygdala, the primitive, emotional region of the brain, becomes the boss, it creates a cycle that activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight.) The good news is many self-help strategies are available to help switch your internal gears from fight or flight to the rest and digest, parasympathetic nervous system mode.

When calmer, you can more readily access the pre-frontal cortex, a part of the brain that helps with decision-making, organization, attention, planning, emotional regulation, and impulse control. In this more relaxed state, you can reset and access the motivation to move forward.

Recently, I attended a meeting with fellow Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She led a workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.) The four-step process is helpful when making behavioral changes. ACT encourages working towards a value rather than avoiding something. In other words, focus your energy on something positive you want to be or do instead of on something negative you wish to avoid.

The ACT process:

1. Identify a value. Who or what do I want to be?

2. Identify feelings. What “yucky” feelings get in the way?

3. Identify relief valves. When you feel these things, what behaviors occur?

4. Create a nourishment menu. What behaviors will feel helpful, sustainable, and give perspective when experiencing the “yucky” feelings?

Your nourishment menu is where self-help strategies thrive. For example, when feeling anxious, you might engage in negative self-talk, binge-watching, or eating sugar-heavy snacks. What if you acknowledged and noticed those feelings when you felt anxious and instead, engaged in more helpful behaviors from the nourishment menu? Below are some suggestions. I’d love to know which of these or other ones work best for you.

20 Self-Help Strategies - Nourishment Menu

• Journal

• Meditate

• Take a walk

• Change your setting

• Organize or clean

• Create boundaries

• Breathe slowly

• Get a massage

• Hug a loved one for at least 20 seconds

• Run or exercise

• Watch leaves flutter

• Light a scented candle

• Use humor

• Rest

• Read

• Pet your dog or cat

• Listen to or play music

• Take a shower or bath

• Help someone else

• Talk with a friend, family member, or professional

I had a recent anxiety-inducing experience when I inadvertently deleted the most current 45 days of emails from my inbox. After long calls with tech support at Apple and Carbonite, it became clear that the emails might be retrieved, but not without many more hours spent with tech support and possibly worse complications.

A tech hiccup is never convenient. My plans to accomplish a lot that day were derailed because of the anxiety inability to focus. At a point, I decided to let it go and not retrieve the emails. However, I was still anxious and not functioning well. My emotions were in high gear, and my brain was foggy. So what did I do?

“Your ‘nourishment menu’ is where self-help strategies thrive.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I grabbed my journal and wrote. As the inky pen glided along the smooth paper, my heart beat rapidly, and my stomach was in knots. I wrote about the ‘gone’ emails, my anxious feelings, the power they had to deactivate my motivation, the shift in my emotional state of feeling calmer as I wrote, and the choice to let this go and move on. I noticed my environment (birds chirping, trees swaying), took several deep breaths, and shifted gears to write about positive memories from the mini vacation we just had.

After journaling, I met a dear friend for a walk along the river. We talked, laughed, and I shared the email saga with her. Not knowing about the nourishment menu at the time, I realized after how I had used several of these strategies to calm my anxiety, let go, and reset.

What self-help strategies work for you when your strong emotions take over? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

When we think about how we spend our time, we often associate feelings with describing them further. For instance, we might think about being with the family at the beach as a happy time or a time when a loved one died as heart-wrenching. However, time is not only a container that includes appointments, events, and milestones, but it also is flavored by the emotions that arise. Lately, I am more aware of the connection between what happens at a given period and the feelings that accompany them.

Why does this matter? By making the connection, we can better understand why we are motivated to engage in certain activities yet procrastinate with others. This can help us to get unstuck or extend some grace when we need it most. Our emotions are clues to our inner experience. We might not always have the words to describe what we’re feeling. Instead, we can notice sensations in the body like tightness in the shoulders, a clenched jaw, or butterflies in the belly. These sensations indicate how you are feeling at that moment in time. 

4 Lessons I Learned About Time and Feelings

Feeling Late

You’re right. Late isn’t an emotion. But that uncomfortable feeling I experience with being late is. Due to a series of events and happenings, my blog post is going live today, a Wednesday, instead of the typical Sunday. I could have skipped this week, but I won’t be able to post next week. So, I decided to break from my pattern and just go for it, even though it’s late. But you know what? I’m doing it, but it feels strange. I prefer being punctual and consistent.

My lesson learned:  Stretch outside of my comfort zone. While I regularly post on the same day each week, it’s OK to make an occasional exception to my own rule. That’s being flexible.

Feeling Anxious

Life is opening up again after a year of lockdowns, restrictions, and closings. This is a positive development on all fronts. However, the speed at which things are reopening has created some discomfort. Some of us are ready to do everything at full throttle, while others (like me) feel more cautious. I’m experiencing so many firsts all at once. They include having the annual doctor visits I missed last year, staying in a hotel, eating in a restaurant, being mask-less in public, and entertaining people IRL (in real life!) These were accompanied by trepidation and anxiety.

My lesson learned: Doing something for the first time or the first time in a long time can feel scary and anxiety-producing. However, I survived, and the next time will be so much easier.

“Time is not only a container that includes appointments, events, and milestones, but it also is flavored by the emotions that arise.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Feeling Relaxed

My husband gifted me a kayaking date as my Mother’s Day present. I love kayaking, and he knows it! What a wonderful feeling to be on the Croton River with the bright sun, warm air, and soothing water. While there is paddling involved, I also spent time in the kayak just floating. It was during the non-paddling time that I felt especially relaxed. I wasn’t trying to get anywhere or exert physical energy. I simply glided gently along the water.

My lesson learned: Even during exertion, you can find relaxation. It’s there in the stillness and the pause.

Feeling Excited

Other than taking a walk around the house or block, many of us stayed put last year- no traveling, overnights, or day trips. We kept close to home with a few exceptions. While I’m not ready to get on an airplane or use public transportation, I am looking forward to some car trips. This summer, we scheduled some vacation time. It’s with excited anticipation that I’ll have time with family and friends at beaches, rivers, mountains, and cities.

I’m looking forward to exploring new and familiar places, face-to-face conversations, and all of the hugs.

My lesson learned: There is gratitude in waiting. Missing provides an opening to be thankful for the people and places I so sorely missed.

Have you noticed a connection between your time and emotions? Do any of these resonate with you, or have you discovered other patterns? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The latest installment (v27) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature is here with my recent discoveries that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. I’ve included unique and inspiring, letting go-related finds, which reflect this month’s blog theme. You are such an incredibly generous, warm, and engaged group. And in this time of physical distancing because of COVID-19, I am especially appreciative of and grateful for your presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community.

I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced. What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? . . .

1. Interesting Article – Letting Go of Should

If you are experiencing an array of emotions, Anna Borges’ piece in Self Magazine, 17 Totally Normal Things to Feel Right Now, According to Therapists, is a must-read. It will provide comfort, understanding, and help normalizing your feelings. In response to thinking we should be acting a certain way, Borges says, “There is no ‘right’ way to handle this.” She interviewed mental health professionals about the most frequent worries and feelings being discussed during their client sessions. Common themes included burn out, calm, grief, regret, numbness, and inadequacy. A beautiful message was incorporated from Vernessa Roberts, LMFT as shared below. What might help you let go of should?

“How you choose to spend this time is up to you and cannot be compared to how others are spending this time. May we remember to embrace our own feelings and struggles and show compassion for the feelings and struggles of others.”

— Vernessa Roberts, LMFT

2. Interesting Resource – Letting Go of Anxiety

In a recent Smead MyOrganized.life podcast, I was interviewed by my friend, John Hunt. For this episode, “Ways to Stay Calm and Cope During a Crisis,” I shared strategies for letting go of some stress and anxiety that many of us are experiencing right now. Some of the suggestions included were to gather resources, focus on mind/body practices, organize your environment, practice gratitude, and limit media time. What helps you let go of anxiety?

3. Interesting Experience  – Letting Go of What Was

One of the newer practices that I began this past year was taking yoga classes. I found a lovely studio, Encourage Yoga, near where I live. As things developed with the pandemic, the studio temporarily closed. The owner and yoga teacher, Al Bingham, quickly revamped the studio concept. Not only did he retool to offer yoga using Zoom, but he also created a generous offer called Project LOVE. Classes are available for $5 each. However, if the cost is a barrier, by entering the code “LOVE” upon checkout, your class is free. For many of us that treasured being physically present with one another, the shift to virtual yoga class required letting go (even if temporary) to what was so that we could experience this new community. I am so grateful to Al and the Encourage Yoga folks for their flexibility and continuity. What will help you let go of what was so that you can experience another way of being?

4. Interesting Season – Letting Go of Disorganization

Spring is a wonderful season for letting go, decluttering, and designing new patterns. This is even more important because of the unprecedented world change. With the shift of normal, you might be feeling new organizing challenges, and unsure of how to move forward. Take this opportunity to reset your organizing goals, declutter the extraneous, and create the calm you deserve. Change is possible, especially with support. Enlist help from a compassionate and non-judgmental friend, family member, or professional organizer like me. You’ll be amazed at how much more you can accomplish when you work with an organizing buddy. I’m ready to help with my virtual organizing services. Let’s talk. Call 914-271-5673 or email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com.

5. Interesting Thought – Letting Go of Busyness

What an odd time we’re in. For many people, life has significantly slowed down. There are no offices to commute to, parties to attend, soccer practices to bring the kids to, or errands to run. We might be working from home and feeling challenged by that shift. But even with that change, things feel slower. There are fewer cars on the road, the shops are closed, and visitors are staying at home. And from these dramatic changes, we have an opportunity to lean into this quiet, to slow our busy bodies and minds, and notice the stillness. If you are willing, let go of your busyness badge and embrace what it feels like to be still.

What are your interesting finds? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!