Letting go is usually intentional. At least, it seems purposeful most of the time for my clients and me. Holding on can create stress, conflict, overwhelm, disappointment, confusion, or anxiety. The same can be said for the process of letting go. Thinking about saying ‘good-bye’ to things or situations can be its own type of challenge. However, when we finally let go, it allows for open space, growth, and relief.

I often consider letting go like a muscle that needs exercise and practice. The more you use the letting go muscle, the easier the process becomes. Decision-making goes more smoothly, too, as you set boundaries or rules around what stays or goes.

What happens when you accidentally let go? You might wonder how someone can unintentionally let go like one giant, whoops. I experienced this last week.

You are probably familiar with the term “inbox zero.” Some set a goal to have no (as in nothing, none, nil, zilch) emails in their inbox. Instead of keeping all emails visible, you route incoming emails to specific, organized locations to achieve a clear inbox. They can move to the trash, action, or archive folders along with a cue to follow through on a trusted task list.

Let’s return to my saga. With full disclosure, I can’t tell you exactly how it happened, but I remember that multitasking was involved. I couldn’t repeat the mistake if I tried. But the result was that I accidentally deleted all the emails in my inbox and couldn’t get them back. There were about 100, and I had responded to most but not all of them.

My first reaction was panic. Then I tried to undo the error. In my frenzy, I think I made things worse. So, I stopped. I took several deep breaths and asked myself, “Linda, now what?” There were several options, including getting on the phone with tech support to see if they could help retrieve the deletions. I lacked time, confidence, and patience for that option. I was also in the middle of several deadlines and needed to focus on those instead of my big mistake. I knew how quickly my day could have deteriorated with negative self-talk, paralysis, and frustration. Those weren’t good options.

“Letting go allows for open space, growth, and relief.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

I felt calmer when I recognized that some emails could be retrieved through the “sent” email box if needed. In addition, if I missed something important, the sender would hopefully resend it to me. If you sent me an email and I never responded, please resend it. Thank you.

Letting Go: Unexpected Benefits

It’s been over a week without those deleted emails, and it’s been OK as of today. I let go of a lot and discovered some things along the way.

• There is no perfect.

• I’m human and make mistakes.

• Life goes on even without a full inbox.

• The most important things were handled.

• I recognized growth in how I kept my initial panic to a minimum.

• Resilience was visible as I quickly recovered from ‘the incident.’

• Multitasking can be dangerous.

• Appreciate the improved focus with fewer emails visible.

• Be grateful for the empty inbox, even if unintentional.

• Acknowledge the available time doing fun things like planting my small vegetable garden instead of stressing over retrieving emails.

• Find the humor in the situation.

• Remember the big picture.

In the end, letting go, while unexpected, was valuable. I’ve recovered from the mishap, appreciate a less full inbox, and feel lighter and less encumbered.

Have you ever let go accidentally? If so, what happened? What did you discover? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Spring is arriving, and this season often inspires hope-infused feelings. However, we can get stuck even during this joyous time. Have you ever felt stuck? When that happens, do you find figuring out your next step challenging? If so, you’re not alone. Grief, life transitions, negative self-talk, fear, procrastination, exhaustion, overwhelm, and lack of information or expertise can prevent forward movement. Next feels elusive.

When I have too many next steps, I get overwhelmed. Instead of doing something, I ruminate about everything I want and need to do. Guess what? I become stuck. Depending upon the situation, I might make a list or chart, talk with a trusted friend, take a walk, or write in my journal. From there, I will take a tiny, doable action step. It’s enough to get me unstuck, build momentum, and journey forward.

Does this sound familiar? If so, you’re going to love what follows. As you’re about to discover, there is power and relief in planning, listening, reframing, and breathing.

I invited an outstanding group of colleagues to share their personal experiences with you. They describe being stuck and the next step that helped them get unstuck. These generous friends include Alison Nissen, Christine Li, Deb Lee, Diane Quintana, Ellen Delap, Jocelyn Kenner, Jonda Beattie, Julie Bestry, Lana Kitcher, Marcy Stoudt, Sabrina Quairoli, Seana Turner and Yota Schneider.

My deepest gratitude goes to this inspiring group for sharing their time, hearts, and wisdom with us. I asked them to respond to and elaborate on this prompt . . .

Describe a time you felt stuck and the next step you took to move forward.

 13 Remarkable Pros Share How They Make Their Next Step When Stuck

 1. Next Step:  Breathe

“When I get too much in my head, it usually results in feeling stuck. I’m vulnerable when I lounge in bed too long in the morning, dozing in and out of sleep. When this happens, I become captive to swirling thoughts, the effect of which is mental quicksand – the ultimate feeling of being stuck.

I escape the mental quicksand by taking a few deep, cleansing breaths, then thinking about one or more things I am profoundly grateful for and creating a positive affirmation for the day ahead. This resets me, and I can move forward with lightness and positivity.

Jocelyn Kenner – Coach & Professional Organizer

2. Next Step:  Plan

“I was losing track of my next steps required by the many projects in which I am involved and also of things I wanted to do for myself & my two businesses.  I did two things. I created a weekly plan of the things I wanted to do day by day for my businesses & projects, which I put inside my planner. Then I decided to use the whiteboard in my office to list the tasks for the current day. Doing these two things has helped me get myself back in action and feeling in control.” 

Diane Quintana, ICD Master Trainer, CPO-CD®, CPO® – Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger

3. Next Step:  Reflect

“In 2012, due to family emergencies and having to travel overseas to care for loved ones, I put my coaching practice on hiatus. Life took its course. Late fall of 2019, I felt the pull and began to contemplate launching my practice again. As I revisited my services and website, I realized that something had changed. I did not want to begin again where I had left off. I had to rethink how I wanted to work with people. I let go of the past, hit pause, and let inspiration come find me. For a good two months, I reflected, wrote, and explored possibilities. At the end of that period, The Art of New Beginnings was born.”

Yota Schneider, Certified Seasons of Change® Master Coach – Life Coach, Retreats Facilitator, Blogger

4. Next Step:  Change Viewpoint

“‘Alison, that's not how we do it,’ the voice articulated. The words stung and left me upset.  

To stop the fear of becoming stuck when I'm distressed, I cross my eyes and look at my nose. Why, you ask? To remind myself that I can't always see what's right in front of me. 

This simple action prompts me to look at a situation from another viewpoint, one without heightened emotions. Irving Berlin once said, ‘Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.’ Standing back to gain perspective is a choice, and it's how I move forward when I'm feeling stuck.”

Alison Nissen, DTM – Co-Founder & Chief Story Officer of Revel Coach

5. Next Step:  Listen

“I recently felt stuck after the death of one of my parents. My next step was to pause to focus on my feelings and my family. And to listen for when my brain and heart were ready to start moving forward again. So I turned to my favorite listening activities: walking, cleaning, and organizing. They worked! While I'm not running full steam ahead, I'm in motion. Having my projects and ideas in Evernote made it easy to pick one to work on. Then, that one thing turned into three things. Interesting how it fueled fresh brain sparks. Just what I needed.”

Deb Lee, CPO® – Digital Productivity Coach and Consultant, Evernote Certified Expert

6. Next Step: Stay Open

“I went from teaching special education to becoming a lead teacher. I had high hopes. About a year into that stressful job, I knew that this job was not good for me. I knew I should retire. But I was frightened I would not be able to support myself and also anxious I would get sick if I stayed. I talked to people who had retired and to friends. Fate intervened, and I saw an article about Professional Organizers. I knew I had found my next career. Whenever I need support, I talk to people I trust.” 

Jonda S. Beattie, M.Ed – Professional Organizer, Author, Speaker


  

7. Next Step:  Write

“Knowing where to start when contemplating writing a new ebook for one of my blogs has been challenging. But, when I started to write down the points I wanted to make in the ebook, I found that the direction and details came more naturally. Writing things down is how to clear the cloudy fog when stuck. It lightens my energy and allows me to see the steps.”

Sabrina M. Quairoli – Professional Organizer, Blogger 

“Sometimes you need outside help...to shake you out of a slump.”

— Lana Kitcher

 8. Next Step:  Check-In

“I love creating content, but perfectionist procrastination over choosing technology sometimes paralyzes my moving from idea to implementation. Once research stops yielding new information, I turn to others for a reality check and catalyst. Years ago, unable to pick a newsletter service, I presented my research and dilemma to a colleague. She encouraged me to pick a particular free trial but also reminded me that whatever I chose, I could always transfer to a different service later — I only had to commit long enough to make forward momentum. You can't edit a blank page; you can't evaluate an untaken step.”

Julie Bestry, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer, Productivity Specialist, Author, Blogger

9. Next Step:  Wander

“When my mind is on a negative repeat loop, and I feel stuck, I love to remove mental clutter. Here's how:

1. Go outside without any technology and allow your mind to wander.

2. Once you feel a slight separation from the problem, consider the situation and list everything in and out of your control.

3. Create two to-do lists: 

                        List 1: What actions can you take to move forward? 

                        List 2: What worries or items are out of your control? Place these on "The Universe's To-Do List." 

Taking action is an excellent step towards progress. But, when it's clutter-free - it's a giant leap.” 

Marcy Stoudt – CEO of Revel Coach, Founder of Nest by Revel

10. Next Step:  Redirect Energy

“I remember a time when I was serving as a volunteer on a committee for an organization that I loved. Over time, I found that my ideas were being discounted, disregarded, and ignored. I felt discouraged and stuck. I finally realized that I was not in control of this situation, and the only way I could move forward was to resign from the committee. I found another way to serve this organization on another committee that allowed me to contribute, and that brought me joy. It turns out my best option was to strike off in a new direction.”

Seana Turner – Professional Organizer, Blogger, Speaker

11. Next Step:  Build Team

“In creating an online time management printable for Etsy, I had done my best on Canva and added the final product to Etsy. It was not getting traction and lacked professional product appeal. After a few months, I asked a professional graphic designer to assist.  Right away, we partnered on design and marketing. My go-to strategy to get unstuck is to build a bigger team.”

Ellen Delap, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer

 

12. Next Step:  Shift Mindset

“That period immediately after the birth of my second child, I was in bed, feeling happy but also wondering how I would break out of my long-held pattern of being very, very cluttered.  I happened to see a segment on a morning show featuring Marla Cilley, known as ‘The FlyLady,’ and I decided to order her book right then and there.  

It turned out her book, Sink Reflections, was a wonderful explanation of how even the most cluttered and distressed person can make a ‘comeback’ into a more orderly and organized existence.  It was a great help to me, but what was perhaps even more helpful was my own decision to make a change for the good of my family and myself.

I encourage anyone who might feel in a similar ‘stuck’ spot that there are so many options to try these days.  All you need to do is decide to make that shift!”

Dr. Christine Li – Clinical Psychologist, Procrastination Coach, Host of the Make Time for Success Podcast

13. Next Step:  Enlist Help

“I became a mom a year ago and was feeling very stuck in my circumstances and my mindset. I had made the decision to reduce my work to part-time and was feeling lost with the transition to motherhood while trying to run my own business as well as a household on many fewer hours and much less sleep. I knew I needed help adjusting, but I wasn't managing to get myself to that point. So I invested in myself by 1) working with Linda and 2) enrolling in a 6-week mindset program. Sometimes you need outside help, new perspectives, and something different to shake you out of a slump.”

Lana Kitcher – Productivity Coach, Small Business Consultant

What was the circumstance last time you felt stuck? What next step moved you forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you feel stuck and want a thought partner, I’m here to help. I love supporting my clients to move forward. Contact me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, 914-271-5643, or click the purple “How Can I Help?” button below.

One of the treasures of being human is our capacity for thought. Ideas that visit your mind can become seeds for creating marvelous inventions or provocative works of art. Your thoughts can turn into action for self-change or positive advances in the world. Thoughts can foster compassion for people in distress or motivate you forward.

What happens when you have unhelpful thoughts? Have you ever engaged in negative self-talk, unnecessary doubt, self-sabotaging thoughts, or word loops that keep you stuck? I have and so have many of my clients. It’s not productive or helpful, but it is a common human experience.

Years ago, I traveled to Austin for an organizing conference. During one of the breaks, I walked into town and discovered this message spray-painted onto the side of a building. It said, “We don’t say fried. We say, deep sauté.” Talk about a reframe! Some of you will agree that eating fried foods isn’t the healthiest choice. Saying “deep sauté” instead doesn’t make the food more nutritious, but it immediately changes my perspective to something more positive. That is the power of the reframe.

While I’m not encouraging you to eat more fried or deep-sauteed foods, I suggest you use this concept to adjust your negative self-talk and other unproductive thoughts.

Let’s test some out.

Instead of:                                          Use:

I’ve never been organized.                 I’m learning to get organized.

My clutter is overwhelming.               I am decluttering a little bit each day.

I don’t know how to get organized.   I will reach out for organizing help.

I’m not good enough.                         I am enough.

I have so much to do.                         I get to focus on what is most important.

“One of the treasures of being human is our capacity for thought.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

What are some of the negative, self-sabotaging thoughts you have? What are alternate reframes? Does it help you think differently by changing your perspective? Your mind can be channeled in many ways.

The next time you’re going down the adverse rabbit hole, stop. Reframe and adjust your thoughts in a more supportive direction. If you need help reframing and activating, I’m just a phone call or email away. I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to reach out and/or join the conversation.

Mindfulness strengthens awareness, which filters into all aspects of life. Mindfulness can influence how you approach moment-to-moment experiences, your choices, and how intentional (or not) you are. Bringing a mindful approach to people, places, and things enhances your wellbeing.

Intertwined with mindfulness is a question that my good friend and life coach, Yota Schneider, offered recently. I first heard her question during a retreat she facilitated. Yota also wrote about it in her recent blog post, The Power of the Questions We Ask Ourselves. So what is this profound question? She asked, “Is it necessary?”

I love how the query brings mindful attention and focus to your thinking. The question cuts through the noise and is universally applicable. It allows for a gentle opening, which creates a path for positive, intentional choices. Many things in life are unnecessary, like unhelpful thoughts, physical stuff that blocks your space, calendar clutter, or relationships that drain rather than energize you.

The beauty of Yota’s question also encourages you to also answer the opposite one; What is necessary? When you let go of the unessential, unproductive, and damaging stuff, you create room for remarkable possibilities and a life filled with the things you purposefully choose.

“Is it necessary?”

— Yota Schneider

Going back to Yota’s retreat, she guided us in a group meditation with the “Is it necessary?” prompt. After, we wrote about what surfaced during our practice. Below is a personal journal entry from that experience where I reflected on “necessary.”

Linda’s Journal Entry

Is it necessary? Breathing? Most definitely necessary. Resting? Yes, yes, and yes! Having quiet? Not always, but sometimes like tonight, so needed and lovely. As I relaxed in the silence of the meditation, I drifted and then floated. Where did I go? It was a still, peaceful, calm place. No demands on myself or the time. A feeling of being. I might have drifted off here or there. When I returned, my awareness was of stillness- no sound or sensations, no attention to my breath. It felt necessary. Needed. So needed.

What isn’t necessary? The negative self-talk, doubt, and feeling of not knowing what to do next. When I’m in ‘focus mode,’ doubt generally recedes. I feel the momentum and motivation to move towards that thing, goal, or destination. I’m on the journey, a path of discovery and action.

But when the wind changes, and it does, I head in the not necessary direction. The breeze took me there today for a portion of my day. The plan for the day veered off course, and so did my thoughts- the unnecessary, unhelpful ones.

Slowly, after two good walks, a few meals, and snacks, I willed myself back. I let go of the doubt or suspended it long enough to take one step. That led to another and back to where I wanted to be. Is it necessary to course correct? Sometimes it is because it’s impossible to be at 100% capacity 100% of the time.

Is it necessary? Breathing? Yes. Resting? Yes. Making a distinction between the essential and not necessary? A resounding yes!

How does mindfulness influence your decision-making? When you think about the choices before you, will you use the question- Is it necessary? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.