Mindfulness strengthens awareness, which filters into all aspects of life. Mindfulness can influence how you approach moment-to-moment experiences, your choices, and how intentional (or not) you are. Bringing a mindful approach to people, places, and things enhances your wellbeing.

Intertwined with mindfulness is a question that my good friend and life coach, Yota Schneider, offered recently. I first heard her question during a retreat she facilitated. Yota also wrote about it in her recent blog post, The Power of the Questions We Ask Ourselves. So what is this profound question? She asked, “Is it necessary?”

I love how the query brings mindful attention and focus to your thinking. The question cuts through the noise and is universally applicable. It allows for a gentle opening, which creates a path for positive, intentional choices. Many things in life are unnecessary, like unhelpful thoughts, physical stuff that blocks your space, calendar clutter, or relationships that drain rather than energize you.

The beauty of Yota’s question also encourages you to also answer the opposite one; What is necessary? When you let go of the unessential, unproductive, and damaging stuff, you create room for remarkable possibilities and a life filled with the things you purposefully choose.

“Is it necessary?”

— Yota Schneider

Going back to Yota’s retreat, she guided us in a group meditation with the “Is it necessary?” prompt. After, we wrote about what surfaced during our practice. Below is a personal journal entry from that experience where I reflected on “necessary.”

Linda’s Journal Entry

Is it necessary? Breathing? Most definitely necessary. Resting? Yes, yes, and yes! Having quiet? Not always, but sometimes like tonight, so needed and lovely. As I relaxed in the silence of the meditation, I drifted and then floated. Where did I go? It was a still, peaceful, calm place. No demands on myself or the time. A feeling of being. I might have drifted off here or there. When I returned, my awareness was of stillness- no sound or sensations, no attention to my breath. It felt necessary. Needed. So needed.

What isn’t necessary? The negative self-talk, doubt, and feeling of not knowing what to do next. When I’m in ‘focus mode,’ doubt generally recedes. I feel the momentum and motivation to move towards that thing, goal, or destination. I’m on the journey, a path of discovery and action.

But when the wind changes, and it does, I head in the not necessary direction. The breeze took me there today for a portion of my day. The plan for the day veered off course, and so did my thoughts- the unnecessary, unhelpful ones.

Slowly, after two good walks, a few meals, and snacks, I willed myself back. I let go of the doubt or suspended it long enough to take one step. That led to another and back to where I wanted to be. Is it necessary to course correct? Sometimes it is because it’s impossible to be at 100% capacity 100% of the time.

Is it necessary? Breathing? Yes. Resting? Yes. Making a distinction between the essential and not necessary? A resounding yes!

How does mindfulness influence your decision-making? When you think about the choices before you, will you use the question- Is it necessary? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Time is universal. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. Yet how we choose to use and feel about that time varies widely. You have scheduled and unscheduled time, hours spent doing what you enjoy and what you don’t. Your days can be intentional or haphazard, filled with obligations, commitments, fun, rest, and challenges.

Lately, I’ve noticed how many moments of joy and delight are present even in these uncertain times. With so much unrest and distress around us, why am I writing about happiness? Especially when life is hard, it’s essential to acknowledge and embrace moments that fill you with delight.

The pandemic changed our daily lives. Opportunities to try new things emerged during the shift. Surprisingly, in this chaos, some beautiful moments emerged. I’ll share a few things I’ve recently experienced, hoping they will spark some ideas for you. 

5 Ways to Take Time for Delight

1. Watch Tomatoes Grow

Earlier this month, I created my first mini garden in our greenhouse. One of the vegetables I planted were cherry tomatoes. Each day I check to see how they’re doing. I water or mist them as needed. Little yellow flowers started blooming, which are magically becoming tomatoes-to-be. Right now, they are round, green balls that will hopefully turn bright red. It’s a simple thing, but it makes me smile with delight every time I check on their growth. It feels good to nurture them and watch the changes.

2. Cut Hair with Scissors

You’re probably thinking, how else would you cut hair? Of course, you use scissors (or a clipper!) The thing is I’ve never cut hair other than the disastrous time I cut my mother’s hair when I was 10 years old. My husband hasn’t been able to get his hair cut during the pandemic, so I offered to “try.” I was amazed that Steve trusted me to cut, especially since he knew about the mom incident. While I don’t plan on opening a salon, it turns out I’m not half bad at cutting hair. The great discovery is that I love doing it!  I feel giddy when I cut. It’s so satisfying to snip away, kind of like hair decluttering. I’ve learned one lesson. Don’t say, “Oops,” if you chop off more than you meant to.

“Especially when life is hard, it’s essential to acknowledge and embrace moments that fill you with delight.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

3. Walk Socially Distant with Friend

It wasn’t that long ago we could walk where we wanted, with whoever we wanted, as closely as we wanted, and mask-free. But times have changed. The only walks I’ve taken in these past months have been by myself or with my husband. Since New York recently loosened the stay-in-place orders, I felt comfortable trying a socially distant (and masked) walk with one of my friends. While we have had regular Zoom calls during this time, we haven’t seen each other in person. It felt beyond fantastic to be physically close to my good friend as we walked, talked, and looked at one another. And while it was a bit weird not to be able to hug, it was so joyful to be actually rather than virtually together. 

4. Sit in Different Chairs

I’ve found ways to experiment with new perspectives with so much time at home these past months. It’s not that I was bored, but I felt like shifting things around to see what would happen. We added a few new chairs to our outdoor collection, so we moved furniture around to integrate the pieces. We placed chairs where they had never been before, which encouraged us to sit in new locations. The change was surprising because the new placements had different views and feel. Now when I go outside, instead of sitting in the exact same spot, I like to move around to try out other positions. Oddly, these simple changes make me feel similar to being on vacation because they both bring about perspective shifts. 

5. Take the Less Traveled Path

I love walking in the woods and by the rivers. There are regular and favorite walks I take, like down the block or the path along the Hudson River. But there are other places I walk less frequently like a park several towns south of where I live. Over the weekend, my husband and I decided to go to the park we rarely visit. There were many changes from the last time we went there. I loved noticing and appreciating the differences. Our prior visit was in early spring when the daffodils were blooming, and the leaves on the trees were starting to green. This time, yellow flowers were gone, and the trees were so full that some of the trunks were hidden. There were birds and butterflies all around. I loved exploring the less familiar path with spectacular river views.

Time keeps moving, whether we’re having good days or tough ones. There are ways to make time for joy-filled moments. I’d love to hear your thoughts. What moments delight you? I invite you to join the conversation.