Professional development and education are some of my top priorities. I continually invest in learning to understand, nourish my curiosity, grow, and better help people. This past week, I attended the Institute for Challenging Disorganization’s (ICD) conference, celebrating its 20th anniversary. I’m an ICD past president (2014-2016) and have been a member of this stellar educational association for 19 years.

Due to the pandemic, the conference was virtual. Using the Remo platform, people attended from eleven countries around the world. We had four days of workshops presented by leading experts with networking time with colleagues new and old. Possibilities, hope, compassion, and a zest for learning and sharing permeated the sessions and conversations.

In my effort to assimilate a small portion of what I discovered, I distilled ideas from 11 sessions and 20 plus pages of my notes to share with you. I couldn't include everything, so I focused on sharing incredibly inspiring concepts full of possibilities. 

Favorite New IDEAS to Empower Possibilities

1. Power of Reframing

Our first speaker was Dr. Edward (Ned) Hallowell, an expert on ADHD, founder of Hallowell ADHD Centers, podcast host, and author of 20 books, including his newest ADHD 2.0. His presentation was so uplifting and poignant. I became emotional several times. He focused on the gifts accompanying ADHD, such as being creative, intuitive, curious, entrepreneurial, intelligent, and original. Dr. Hallowell has ADHD and has devoted his life to helping people with ADHD “develop a vision of greatness.” He believes that everyone is capable of more than they think they are, can combat negative self-talk, and develop good self-care hygiene.

He reminded us “what matters is the striving, not the doing or accomplishing.” The “victory is loving the game.” He spoke about the importance of connection and having supportive people to protect and believe in you. 

Hallowell shared the three defining hallmarks of ADHD, which are distractibility, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. He prefers focusing on the positive flipside- seeing distractibility as curiosity, impulsivity as creativity, and hyperactivity as energy. At 71, he said he was “happy to have a turbo pack on his back.”

When it comes to organizing and reaching his goals, he strives for “well enough organized.”

If you reframe your perspective, what is possible?

2. Living Your Strengths

As humans, we seek to understand ourselves and others. Dr. Ryan Niemiec, Education Director at the VIA Institute on Character, author of 10 books, and award-winning psychologist, shared that understanding your character strengths is essential for building your well-being, managing adversity, and increasing happiness. What would be possible if you lived using your strengths and appreciated the strengths of those around you?

In 2003, the VIA Survey of Character Strengths was created. The extensively researched survey emerged from the field of positive psychology. It focuses on 24 universally valued (cross-cultural) character strengths such as hope, curiosity, and gratitude. It has been taken by 16 million people and continues to be taken every 10 seconds. Click here for your free VIA assessment (it takes about 10 minutes) and discover your top signature strengths.

Niemiec made several key points: no strength is better than another, all 24 strengths matter, and they are in all of us. Your top strengths represent the positive parts of your personality, which can change over time. Our strengths reflect our identity, produce positive outcomes for ourselves and others, and contribute to the collective good.

I’ve taken the survey three times over the past ten years, and I’ve seen some shifts in my top five strengths. With the most recent survey, my top strengths are love, gratitude, perspective, appreciation of beauty & excellence, and humor.

I’d love to know more about you. After taking the survey, please share your top five strengths in the comments below if you feel comfortable doing so.

“What matters is the striving, not the doing or accomplishing.”

— Dr. Edward Hallowell

3. Designing Your Space

Andrea de Pavia, MA, architect, urban planner, author, professor, and founder of NeuroAU, shared her expertise and insights on NeuroArchitecture. This interdisciplinary field connects cognitive science, architecture, design, and urbanism, focusing on “the brain, behavior, and their interconnection with the physical environment.” De Pavia explained how our spaces affect our physiology, making changes in the brain and body. Her goal is to “make science-based choices to improve the environment” and not design solely based on creativity or aesthetics. 

With sensation transference, elements such as light and sound can affect how things taste, your perception of others, and your memories. Perceptual fluency relates to how easy or challenging it is to be in a particular space. In a “fluent space,” it will be easier to process and experience cognitive restoration. Our physical environment can affect stress levels and health. Lack of multisensory coherence can impair perception and attention, deplete mental resources, and impair decision-making. Imagine being in a cluttered space (whatever ‘cluttered’ means to you.) Notice how you feel. Are you calm, relaxed, anxious, or agitated? 

Our space can help or impair our cognitive restoration. De Pavia shared several ways to design and organize spaces to decrease stress and save mental resources, such as incorporating nature. Include pictures of nature, use natural light, add plants (real or not,) water features, and natural materials. This is known as biophilic design.

Don’t underestimate the importance of windows and natural light. Uncover the windows and position yourself closer or facing them. Seeing the sky (day or night) helps control our circadian rhythm, which affects our biological clock. It syncs our body with the environment and affects our energy during the day and quality of sleep at night. Natural light supports the production of serotonin, a hormone that stabilizes our mood, feelings of well-being, and happiness.

I often write about organizing homes and offices to support who you are and what you do. This science-backed research reinforces the importance of decluttering, creating calm spaces, and being in environments that allow us to restore, reset, and be productive. What would be possible for you as you imagine being in a cognitively supportive space?

Possibilities are all around as we look at ways to reframe our perspective, live using our top strengths, and create spaces that support our minds and bodies. So much is possible. Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Another week has passed as we navigate and adjust to the rapidly changing COVID-19 world crisis. More schools, local stores, restaurants, and industries have shut down, and additional closures are coming. We’re learning how to stay in place as we manage the new realities of family, health, work, or the lack thereof. Each one of us will be touched if we haven’t already, by loss of loved ones, income, and life as we knew it. People have described the “brain fog” and a general sense of anxiety they’re feeling. Others have shared how essential their need to stay connected to “community” is, especially at this time.

Each day brings a new awareness about how to cope with next, given all the uncertainty. I continue to learn and be inspired by you and the ways you are facing each day of unknowns with grace, compassion, and humor. None of us know how long this pandemic will last or in what ways our lives will be changed. We only have today. It is what we do today that matters.

Several things happened this week that helped me cope with next. I hope some of these will help you in the weeks ahead.

7 Uplifting Discoveries That Will Help You Cope With Next

1. Be Compassionate

Extending compassion to others comes in many forms, from offering a listening ear to sharing a smile with a stranger, to bringing groceries to someone who is homebound. One of my girlfriends told me about her friend that just started the initiative, Million Gallons. Their goal is to provide food security for restaurant, hospitality, and other workers that have been displaced by the coronavirus in Westchester County and New York City. A Million Gallons hopes to make and distribute one million gallons of soup. I am in awe of how quickly they mobilized with compassion and purpose to help those in need. To learn more about their compassion-driven cause, watch the video. What act of kindness have you experienced?

2. Identify Feelings

You might be feeling all kinds of emotions. Some of them you can easily name, while others are harder to identify. One of the feelings that surfaced in several conversations this past week was grief. On a Zoom call with my organizing colleagues, after listening to them share how they were feeling, it was clear that a few were experiencing grief. Their grief was not over the loss of a loved one. Instead, it was from their loss of purpose, of working, and of helping their clients. Later in the week, both my yoga teacher and Rabbi referenced the Harvard Business Review article, That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief. In the article, David Kessler, the preeminent grief expert, explored how to acknowledge, manage, and find meaning in the pandemic-induced grief you could be experiencing. It’s an insightful piece that helped me feel gentler towards others and myself. What are you feeling right now?

3. Find Humor

In this time of social distancing and isolation, we are finding different ways of being engaged with the world. I’ve become more aware of how institutions such as museums, aquariums, and zoos are keeping us connected through video. One segment I saw this past week made me smile from ear to ear. Two penguins from the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago were allowed to run loose as they wandered around and toured the exhibits. It was so much fun to watch! What added humor to your day?

4. Notice Indicators

Being that I live in New York, which is one of the current COVID-19 outbreak hotbeds, my husband and I have been staying put. We only go out to get groceries, pick-up food from local restaurants, go on walks, take a drive to nowhere, or do yard work. When I’m out, I notice changes, especially at the grocery store. Several weeks ago, I saw shortages of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and disinfecting wipes. As the weeks continued, additional items came into short supply like hand soap, dish soap, paper towels, tissues, cleaning supplies, ice cream, eggs, Tylenol, chicken broth, and chicken. And this week, when I went to the market, the chicken and ice cream had been replenished, but the entire supply of chocolate chip morsels had been ravaged. Those shelves were completely empty. I realized that one of the home activities parents were doing with their kids was baking cookies. A happy feeling ran through me, as I was flooded with love-filled memories of baking with our daughters. What indicators are you noticing?

5. Get Creative

It’s been fascinating to watch how companies and individuals are using the pause to get creative with projects, how they do business or infuse creativity in their days. Baked By Susan, one of our local bakeries, put together “decorate your own cupcake” kits. One of my friends is busy knitting a complicated cardigan. I’ve been testing out some new recipes, writing, taking photos, and creating organizing videos. One of the recent recipes I tried from the Yotam Ottolenghi’s Simple cookbook that my daughter, Allison, gave me was mashed sweet potato with lime salsa. It was so delicious and easy to make. If you’d like the recipe, let me know in the comments, and I’ll share it with you. What creative outlets are catching your attention?

6. Seek Connections

You might be isolating, but you are not alone. There are different ways that we connected with people before the pandemic. And temporarily, many of those intentional and casual points of contact have now been cut off. But we are social beings. We need one another. One of the things that have kept me sane is finding new ways to connect and “be with” the various communities and people in my life. Zoom has been a positive and satisfying way of staying connected with family, friends, colleagues, yoga, organizing, and spiritual communities. I recognize that not everyone feels connected to a community. If you are struggling, feeling alone and isolated, the COVID-19 Emotional Support Hotline is 844-863-9314. What way has connecting changed for you during this time?

7. Explore Nature

We experience many positive benefits for our wellbeing when we spend time in nature. Can you recall a recent time when you walked in the woods, felt the fresh air and sun on your skin, or dipped your toes in the sea? Being surrounded by nature can be restorative for our minds and bodies. Lately, I’ve mostly been walking in the woods since the path is less crowded than other local spots. But this week, I walked along the Hudson River path. I loved being by the water, hearing the birds sing, and seeing the spring foliage just beginning to bloom. I know that not everyone has access to or the desire to be outdoors. One of the other discoveries I made this week was from the New York Botanical Garden. Like many institutions, they too have temporarily closed. However, you can take a virtual tour of their magnificent orchid exhibit. So if you love seeing, but not being in nature, try a remote viewing. In what way does nature improve your wellbeing?

When we are experiencing grief and other strong emotions, it’s hard to think about next. In this time, next might need to be a big dose of self-compassion. Or, perhaps it will be you reaching out to someone else that is hurting. Regardless, there are ways to cope and simultaneously uplift yourself and others. What have you discovered? What has inspired you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to leave a comment and join our conversation.

Dynamic thought leaders are featured for the “Ask the Expert” interview series. In the past, we’ve spoken with experts including Todd Henry about next steps, Joshua Becker about fresh starts, David Allen about time management, and Gretchen Rubin about life balance. For May, I’m excited to have with us author, professional organizer, speaker, and Holocaust educator, Felice Cohen to share her insights about clutter.

Several months ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Felice when we taped an organizing segment for the “Let’s Talk With Jodi!” show, airing this June.  Aside from being fascinated by Felice’s tiny apartment living experience, I enjoyed her wonderful sense of humor and practical ideas about organizing. Before we begin the interview, here is more about her.

Felice Cohenis an author of five books, a professional organizer, motivational speaker,  and Holocaust educator. You might have seen Felice in the YouTube video of her 90-square foot Manhattan studio. She moved into that small space for one reason: the low rent allowed her to quit her full-time job and finish writing her first book. She planned to stay only one year, but something happened during that time. Her life improved. 

When the YouTube video went viral, people asked for her advice on organizing and decluttering, and praised her philosophy about “living large” in a small space. That was the motivation for her second book, 90 Lessons for Living Large in 90 Square Feet (…or more), which tells how living tiny made her life larger, but it also offers lessons on how to live the life you want in any size space.

You can connect with Felice on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, blog, or website.

Linda Samuels: You pursued your dream of moving to Manhattan and becoming a writer. To afford that life, you chose to live in a tiny space with a minimal amount of stuff. What is one of the lessons you learned about living clutter free?

Felice Cohen:In truth, I planned only to stay one year in that tiny space, but at the end of that first year, I discovered that living tiny and living with less gave me more. More time to do what I loved like writing, cycling, going to the theater, traveling. Plus, my stress went down. I no longer had to work long hours at a job I didn’t love to pay for extra space I didn’t need. As a result, my happiness went up, and I wound up staying 5 years.

Linda: In your book, 90 Lessons for Living Large in 90 Square Feet (…or more), you talk about the “Buh bye” concept, which you found helpful when you worked with organizing clients. Can you describe what it is and what made it useful?

Felice:Getting rid of stuff can be hard. We are attached to things for many reasons, some because they’re sentimental or because we think we might need them. The “buh bye” concept adds humor to what can be a tough activity. When my clients say, “buh bye” out loud as they put something into the giveaway pile or in the trash, it not only lightens the mood, but it empowers them as though they’re saying, “I don’t need you. Buh bye!”

Linda: Some of us tend to accumulate more than we release, which can result in clutter. Can you share some advice to encourage us to let go?

Felice:Start by asking yourself: “What do I want my home to look like?” Everything in its place? No piles on the counters? Closets you can open without the fear of something falling on your head? Keep that image in mind as you work. Remind yourself this is your home, you should be happy there. It’s not easy to get out from under clutter, but it’s doable. Take baby steps. Also, as we grow up and get older, our lives change, and so do our tastes and passions and goals. You might be holding onto things from a previous chapter in your life. By letting them go, you’re making room for new chapters.

Linda: What is your most surprising discovery about clutter?

Felice:About how clutter has a huge effect on people, both mentally and emotionally. Clutter can cause depression and stress. It can also keep you from being productive and happy. Many people want to get rid of the clutter, but it can be overwhelming when you don’t know where to begin. Seeing clutter also tells your brain “you should clean this up” and makes you feel bad for not doing it. The trick is not to beat yourself up.

Linda: What has been your biggest personal challenge around clutter?

Felice: I’m a very sentimental person so holding onto things from my past is my Achilles heel. Things like letters from friends and my varsity high school jacket. This stuff is still in my childhood bedroom on Cape Cod where I now spend my summers. At the beginning of every summer, when I get to my parents’ house, I spend a few hours the first weekend going through all of it. And every summer I get rid of a lot. I’m down to 2 totes from 10. Sometimes it takes us a while to get rid of stuff. Every year I get further and further from that time in my life, and it gets easier to let it go. 

Linda: Is there anything you’d like to share about clutter that I haven’t asked?

Felice:  At the end of the day it’s not about the clutter, but about you. If you’re okay with the piles and the disorganization, fine. But if you’re not, do something about it. It’s not easy, but it’s not rocket science. Put on music that gets you moving and try to get rid of 5 things a day, whether for trash or donation. After a week that’s 35 things. That’s a lot.

Thank you, Felice, for joining us. You shared so many inspiring ideas and showed us that for you having less clutter and space equated to lower stress, more happiness, and time to pursue what you loved doing. It’s clear that you understand how letting go of things can be challenging. I love your suggestion to release five items a day and notice how quickly that yields significant results. As you said, “By letting them go, you’re making room for new chapters.”

Join Felice and me as we continue the conversation. What resonates with you?

Perfect isn’t possible when it comes to entertaining. In fact, perfection is a recipe for undue stress. Letting go of perfect and infusing the situation with humor and intention is one of the lessons I’ve learned over time.

My husband, Steve and I have a long history of hosting events together. For the last 37+ years, we have gathered our friends and family for over one-hundred celebrations and get-togethers including birthdays, Thanksgivings, New Years’, Cajun dances, BBQs, brunches, dinners, cast parties, Bat Mitzvahs, and Passovers. As you might have guessed, we enjoy entertaining.  His parents and mine also loved hosting and were the center and gathering places for both of our families. They were gracious, generous, and inspiring role models. They taught us so much about love, life, teamwork, and hosting.

While it’s lovely to have people in our home, it takes organizing, planning, and preparation. We use a tag team approach and share our responsibilities and tasks. We each have our own event-specific lists that we update from year-to-year. Our lists include things like shopping items, dates to shop, cook times, beverage consumption, and tasks related to house set-up.

Our most recent event was this past weekend when we had 32 people for Passover.  Of all the meals we prepare, this one is the most complex because of the volume of food, multiple courses, and pacing. The cooking and house prep are done in advance over three or four days.

When it comes to entertaining, there are some letting go lessons I’ve learned. 

5 Lessons Learned About Letting Go of Perfect

• Uh-Oh. - Planning is terrific, but you will forget something like an essential ingredient for one of your recipes. That’s OK. Run out to the store, again. Add it to the list for next year. Remember you’re human and let go of being perfect.

• No You Don't. - You don’t have to do everything yourself. If someone asks, “Can I bring something?” say, “Thank you, yes.” Then look at your menu and ask for what you need. Let others participate. Let go of being responsible for the entire meal.

• Help Is Good. - People like to help because it makes them feel comfortable. Be ready to delegate. If your guests want to clear plates, wash dishes, help serve the soup, or refill the ice bucket, say, “Thank you, sure!” It’s gratitude time. Let go of having to do things a certain way and embrace those extra helping hands. You’ll be glad you did.

• The Real Plan. - There will be last minute cancellations, additions, or emergencies (medical and otherwise.) You never know what will happen, but something will happen. Remember that detailed plan I mentioned earlier? Laugh now, because it will change. Let go of exactness. Know that there’s a 99.9% chance you will need to deviate from the plan.

• What's Your Why? - Let go of expectations, but set an intention. One of the things my husband added to his list this year was, “Have fun!” I loved that, so I put it on my list too. Adding this simple reminder was just what I needed. It helped me focus on why we were doing this, which was to enjoy, gather, celebrate and have fun with our family and friends.

The details are significant, but they aren’t everything. They don’t have to be perfect. Remember your why. Allow it to permeate your actions with love, flexibility, and letting go.

Which letting go lessons resonates with you? Do you have others to add? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.