There have been many words used to describe 2020. In a recent article in The Washington Post, readers offered their one word or phrase for the year, including “exhausting, lost, chaotic, relentless, heartbreaking, transformative, and the year of missing.” Perhaps the word that I heard (and possibly used) the most was unprecedented. It was that kind of year. We tried our best to navigate the unknown, find strength when life got worse than ever imagined, extend compassion and grace to ourselves and others, and find some balance in a continually changing situation. 

It’s been a harsh year, a year of struggle. We needed love, compassion, support, and connection more than ever. With pandemic restrictions reducing in-person contact, technology played a starring role to help us virtually spend time together. I blogged and had meaningful conversations with you throughout these past months, as we experienced and worked through this year together. We shared our silver linings and losses.

Being a reflective time of year, I am revisiting the past before moving ahead to the future. As part of the review, I selected highlights, one from each month, of the most compassionate organizing concepts of 2020. My hope is you discover a seed idea that will inspire your New Year. 

Where do you want to focus on creating the level of organization and balance that you desire? Which people and projects will receive your time, energy, and attention? 

12 Compassionate Organizing Concepts

Winter 2020

Fresh Start - How to Choose Words That Will Positively Affect Your Fresh Start

“Your life and success will not be defined by the nouns you choose. It will be defined by the verbs.”

— Todd Henry

Embrace Change - 3 New Ideas That Will Help Inspire Your Change

“If you’re not sure about the change you want to make, give yourself some ‘wander time’ and see what transpires.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Next Step - 7 Uplifting Discoveries That Will Help You Cope With Next

“Next might need to be a big dose of self-compassion. Or, perhaps it will be you reaching out to someone else that is hurting.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Spring 2020

Letting Go - How to Let Go of Guilt During the COVID-19 Crisis

“What expectations of normal am I letting go of today?”

— Rick Breden

Clutter - How to Release Mind Clutter That Makes You Worry

“Mind clutter worry is unproductive. And as it turns out, it’s a good teacher too.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Time Management - Are You Making Time for ‘The Good Stuff’?

“In your mix of doing, are you making time to notice and embrace the good stuff?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Summer 2020

Motivation - Big Lesson I Learned How Motivation Is in The Growing

“Motivation is in the growing.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Enlisting Help - How to Get Help Setting and Celebrating Your Big Goals

“A goal doesn’t happen in a vacuum. We need help with accomplishing our goals and celebrating them along the way.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Mindfulness - How Do Mindfulness and Focus Remarkably Appear in Your Life?

“It is in the practice of shifting attention, awareness, and return that we become more mindful.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Fall 2020

Possibilities - 7 Valuable Lessons I Learned About Weddings, Hope, & Possibilities

“We live in challenging times. Yet even in the darkest days, there is hope. There is love. There are possibilities.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Wonderfully Human - How to Enjoy Pandemic-Time Holidays With More Gratitude and Creativity

“The initial sadness for not being able to gather has morphed into positive anticipation for the ways we’ve reimagined the holiday.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Life Balance - How to Effectively Balance the Extremes of Your Holiday Season

“Feeling balanced is a fluid and a continually shifting dynamic.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

My deepest gratitude goes to you for being an integral part of this vibrant community. We’ve had an incredible year of conversations and sharing. You bring learning, growth, support, and inspiration to every exchange. Thank you for coming back again and again to participate and share the best of who you are. 

What inspired you this year? Which compassionate organizing concept resonates most with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

What is it with guilt and the difficulty of letting it go? We feel guilty when we think we’ve done something wrong or failed to do something we thought we should have done. We blame ourselves when something we feel responsible for we didn’t do. During several recent conversations, I’ve noticed that we’ve been especially hard on ourselves and experienced many types of guilt. We’re living in an unusual time. The world is in crisis because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Life has changed overnight for many of us, and we are adjusting to living differently. Stress and emotions are heightened, as is our tendency for self-blame and guilt.

Let’s be kinder. We are living in a raw wound-like state. Letting go of guilt is an act of self-compassion. There are several guilt themes I’ve noticed. I’ll share them with you, along with some encouragement for letting go. What have you observed? 

How to Let Go of Guilt During the COVID-19 Crisis

Productivity Guilt

In a recent The New York Times article, “Stop Trying to Be Productive,” Taylor Lorenz makes the case that the message we’re hearing is that we should be more productive with the “extra hours” we were gifted because of the pandemic. However, our experience is quite different. Even though we might have freed-up hours in the day because we aren’t commuting to work or have no work, we are exhausted. We’re finding it challenging enough to take care of the basics. So we are experiencing productivity guilt because we aren’t organizing our decades of memorabilia, cleaning out our garages, writing that novel, or accomplishing more in a day. Let your productivity guilt go.

I admit to erring on the side of staying productive. I want to accomplish things. But I also recognize that we are experiencing grief-like symptoms. So instead of pushing and expecting, we need to be gentle and compassionate. Adjust your expectations of what productivity looks like for now. Instead, focus on what you need to feel healthy, calm, and sane. That might mean a shift to a human being rather than doing.

Being Normal Guilt

Daily meditation is an essential part of my morning routine. Especially now, I am so grateful for this practice. Most days, I use guided meditations on the Insight Timer app. Lately, I’ve been experimenting with some newly released practices that focus on helping us navigate the COVID-19 crisis. They help me with discovering useful perspectives, offering calming strategies, and increasing compassion for self and others. In a recent practice, I listened to Rick Breden’s “Six Questions to Ask Yourself During COVID-19.” Rick is a psychotherapist and CEO of Behavioral Essentials. He asked this question,“What expectations of normal am I letting go of today?”

“What expectations of normal am I letting go of today?”

— Rick Breden

I loved that question because so many of us expect that we should be living like business as usual. But there is nothing ordinary about this time. Having some grace to let go of “normal,” means we can also let go of that guilt. We can let go of should and gift ourselves flexibility and the time needed to adjust to living differently.

Boundaries Guilt

I predict that at some point, you will be directly touched by COVID-19. You might have a family member, coworker, or patient that has it.  As humans, we’re wired to help people. Many people are being asked to go above and beyond to serve and help others while they are potentially putting themselves in harm’s way. Healthcare workers are being asked to be on the front lines and possibly come out of retirement or enter the workforce pre-graduation to assist all those in need. You might have a family member living with or near you that is ill and needs your help, which could put you in danger of also getting sick. Each of us has to decide what we are willing and not willing to do. What risks are we willing to take? And choosing not to help in every situation can result in a lot of guilt. This is a personal choice and a difficult one. If you are experiencing guilt around asserting your boundaries, I understand. Consider what you need to feel safe and remain healthy. Let the boundary guilt go.

Commitment Guilt

When I commit to something or someone, I like to honor my word. If I don’t, I feel guilty, and as though I’ve failed myself and the other person. This has happened a few times in the past few weeks. Circumstances were such that I wasn’t able to be at an event I had committed to or plan an annual event. In one instance, a family member needed my help, and that took priority over another commitment. In the other case, I recognized I didn’t have the bandwidth now to plan a large (virtual) gathering. And even though intellectually I understood the reasons, I was harsh with myself. I felt guilty for changing what I had committed to. I recognized that the kindness I needed was to let go of that guilt. So if you have experienced something similar, it’s time to let go. Grant yourself some grace and flexibility. Be open to adjusting your commitments if needed, guilt-free.

Complaint Guilt

There are so many horrific things happening in the world. People are dying, losing their jobs, and unable to feed their families. Communities are being destroyed. Health care workers are overworked and don’t have adequate protective gear and supplies to help those in need. Because there are so many horrible things going on, we feel guilty complaining about inconveniences like having spring vacation taken away or being unhappy with having to work virtually. There will always be someone that has it worse than you do. So instead of feeling guilty about complaining, perhaps turn it around and focus on gratitude. You can be grateful that you have a job, and simultaneously be upset and guilty that you don’t like how you’re being asked to do your job right now. Those two things can exist simultaneously. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s important to honor and express your feelings. Complaining or expressing is cathartic. Let go of the guilt and need we have to do it.

Communication Guilt

Many of us are in more intense contact with people now. We use a variety of ways to keep in touch and reach through the phone, email, texts, letters, Face Time, Skype, Zoom, or other platforms. Some of us are communicating with family, friends, and coworkers in new ways or more frequently. For some of us, it might feel like a full-time job. There are so many people we are concerned about in various corners of the world and in our lives. After several weeks of this, some of us are beginning to feel exhausted by the pandemic talk. Even though we think we should be reaching out, what we really feel like doing is retreating into our cocoon. No talking. No communicating. Just being still and quiet. That response is resulting in some feelings of guilt. After all, we keep hearing how important it is to stay in touch with people. So many are isolated. For those feeling guilty about wanting to communicate less, let your guilt go. Honor your needs. This doesn’t have to be an all or nothing. Take a break or reach out less frequently. Adjust what enough feels like.

We’re all feeling raw with the changes and uncertainty. It’s essential to focus on those things that lift us up, reduce stress, and help us feel centered. From there, we can increase our reserves so we have something left to help others. Guilt depletes us. Be generous with your self-compassion. Are you having difficulty letting go of guilt? What are you experiencing? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to leave a comment and join the conversation.

Another week has passed as we navigate and adjust to the rapidly changing COVID-19 world crisis. More schools, local stores, restaurants, and industries have shut down, and additional closures are coming. We’re learning how to stay in place as we manage the new realities of family, health, work, or the lack thereof. Each one of us will be touched if we haven’t already, by loss of loved ones, income, and life as we knew it. People have described the “brain fog” and a general sense of anxiety they’re feeling. Others have shared how essential their need to stay connected to “community” is, especially at this time.

Each day brings a new awareness about how to cope with next, given all the uncertainty. I continue to learn and be inspired by you and the ways you are facing each day of unknowns with grace, compassion, and humor. None of us know how long this pandemic will last or in what ways our lives will be changed. We only have today. It is what we do today that matters.

Several things happened this week that helped me cope with next. I hope some of these will help you in the weeks ahead.

7 Uplifting Discoveries That Will Help You Cope With Next

1. Be Compassionate

Extending compassion to others comes in many forms, from offering a listening ear to sharing a smile with a stranger, to bringing groceries to someone who is homebound. One of my girlfriends told me about her friend that just started the initiative, Million Gallons. Their goal is to provide food security for restaurant, hospitality, and other workers that have been displaced by the coronavirus in Westchester County and New York City. A Million Gallons hopes to make and distribute one million gallons of soup. I am in awe of how quickly they mobilized with compassion and purpose to help those in need. To learn more about their compassion-driven cause, watch the video. What act of kindness have you experienced?

2. Identify Feelings

You might be feeling all kinds of emotions. Some of them you can easily name, while others are harder to identify. One of the feelings that surfaced in several conversations this past week was grief. On a Zoom call with my organizing colleagues, after listening to them share how they were feeling, it was clear that a few were experiencing grief. Their grief was not over the loss of a loved one. Instead, it was from their loss of purpose, of working, and of helping their clients. Later in the week, both my yoga teacher and Rabbi referenced the Harvard Business Review article, That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief. In the article, David Kessler, the preeminent grief expert, explored how to acknowledge, manage, and find meaning in the pandemic-induced grief you could be experiencing. It’s an insightful piece that helped me feel gentler towards others and myself. What are you feeling right now?

3. Find Humor

In this time of social distancing and isolation, we are finding different ways of being engaged with the world. I’ve become more aware of how institutions such as museums, aquariums, and zoos are keeping us connected through video. One segment I saw this past week made me smile from ear to ear. Two penguins from the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago were allowed to run loose as they wandered around and toured the exhibits. It was so much fun to watch! What added humor to your day?

4. Notice Indicators

Being that I live in New York, which is one of the current COVID-19 outbreak hotbeds, my husband and I have been staying put. We only go out to get groceries, pick-up food from local restaurants, go on walks, take a drive to nowhere, or do yard work. When I’m out, I notice changes, especially at the grocery store. Several weeks ago, I saw shortages of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and disinfecting wipes. As the weeks continued, additional items came into short supply like hand soap, dish soap, paper towels, tissues, cleaning supplies, ice cream, eggs, Tylenol, chicken broth, and chicken. And this week, when I went to the market, the chicken and ice cream had been replenished, but the entire supply of chocolate chip morsels had been ravaged. Those shelves were completely empty. I realized that one of the home activities parents were doing with their kids was baking cookies. A happy feeling ran through me, as I was flooded with love-filled memories of baking with our daughters. What indicators are you noticing?

5. Get Creative

It’s been fascinating to watch how companies and individuals are using the pause to get creative with projects, how they do business or infuse creativity in their days. Baked By Susan, one of our local bakeries, put together “decorate your own cupcake” kits. One of my friends is busy knitting a complicated cardigan. I’ve been testing out some new recipes, writing, taking photos, and creating organizing videos. One of the recent recipes I tried from the Yotam Ottolenghi’s Simple cookbook that my daughter, Allison, gave me was mashed sweet potato with lime salsa. It was so delicious and easy to make. If you’d like the recipe, let me know in the comments, and I’ll share it with you. What creative outlets are catching your attention?

6. Seek Connections

You might be isolating, but you are not alone. There are different ways that we connected with people before the pandemic. And temporarily, many of those intentional and casual points of contact have now been cut off. But we are social beings. We need one another. One of the things that have kept me sane is finding new ways to connect and “be with” the various communities and people in my life. Zoom has been a positive and satisfying way of staying connected with family, friends, colleagues, yoga, organizing, and spiritual communities. I recognize that not everyone feels connected to a community. If you are struggling, feeling alone and isolated, the COVID-19 Emotional Support Hotline is 844-863-9314. What way has connecting changed for you during this time?

7. Explore Nature

We experience many positive benefits for our wellbeing when we spend time in nature. Can you recall a recent time when you walked in the woods, felt the fresh air and sun on your skin, or dipped your toes in the sea? Being surrounded by nature can be restorative for our minds and bodies. Lately, I’ve mostly been walking in the woods since the path is less crowded than other local spots. But this week, I walked along the Hudson River path. I loved being by the water, hearing the birds sing, and seeing the spring foliage just beginning to bloom. I know that not everyone has access to or the desire to be outdoors. One of the other discoveries I made this week was from the New York Botanical Garden. Like many institutions, they too have temporarily closed. However, you can take a virtual tour of their magnificent orchid exhibit. So if you love seeing, but not being in nature, try a remote viewing. In what way does nature improve your wellbeing?

When we are experiencing grief and other strong emotions, it’s hard to think about next. In this time, next might need to be a big dose of self-compassion. Or, perhaps it will be you reaching out to someone else that is hurting. Regardless, there are ways to cope and simultaneously uplift yourself and others. What have you discovered? What has inspired you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to leave a comment and join our conversation.

What happens when you lose your groove? Do you know what I mean? You’ve established a habit. You’ve committed to a habit and then life gets in the way. How do you come back? How do you re-motivate yourself to return to that thing, that habit that you know and love?

As I sat to write my weekly post, I realized that this is exactly what I’ve experienced. It’s been three weeks since my last post. In the past five plus years, I’ve written one blog post per week with a few exceptions. It’s a habit I enjoy, find creative and have been committed to.

However, I’ve faced some challenges in these recent weeks that forced me to let go of certain commitments (as in writing the weekly blog post and engaging as actively on social media) so that I could handle others. Yes there was guilt. Yes there was disappointment. But it was also necessary to let go to make room for some emergencies and out of the ordinary challenges.

Here are some reminders I gave myself about motivation:

• I can come back at any time.

• I need to be flexible because there are only 24 hours in a day.

• Some of those 24 hours are needed for sleep, which is essential for recharging.

• If I’m exhausted, I won’t have the energy or motivation to do anything.

• Return to your source for centering. Water and sun restore me.

• If I’ve gotten way off track, take one tiny step towards that “project” or habit and it will feed my motivation.

• Practice self-compassion.

• Listen to your cheerleaders.

• Just start.

• Let go of perfect.

Needless to say, I’ve missed all of you. I’ve missed our conversations. I’m glad to be back after taking a break to tend to some family and professional challenges. I get that I expect a lot from myself. Does this sound familiar? I get that there’s a balance between doing and not doing. I’m working on that.

What about you? Does any of this resonate? Has life ever gotten in the way and thrown you off course? It’s temporary. What do you do to re-motivate? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.