Having an array of emotions is part of being human. There are no good or bad ones. However, at times, our strong emotions can make clear thoughts challenging. In fact, some emotions like anxiety, sadness, or fear can cause procrastination or completely zap our motivation.

When the amygdala, the primitive, emotional region of the brain, becomes the boss, it creates a cycle that activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight.) The good news is many self-help strategies are available to help switch your internal gears from fight or flight to the rest and digest, parasympathetic nervous system mode.

When calmer, you can more readily access the pre-frontal cortex, a part of the brain that helps with decision-making, organization, attention, planning, emotional regulation, and impulse control. In this more relaxed state, you can reset and access the motivation to move forward.

Recently, I attended a meeting with fellow Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She led a workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.) The four-step process is helpful when making behavioral changes. ACT encourages working towards a value rather than avoiding something. In other words, focus your energy on something positive you want to be or do instead of on something negative you wish to avoid.

The ACT process:

1. Identify a value. Who or what do I want to be?

2. Identify feelings. What “yucky” feelings get in the way?

3. Identify relief valves. When you feel these things, what behaviors occur?

4. Create a nourishment menu. What behaviors will feel helpful, sustainable, and give perspective when experiencing the “yucky” feelings?

Your nourishment menu is where self-help strategies thrive. For example, when feeling anxious, you might engage in negative self-talk, binge-watching, or eating sugar-heavy snacks. What if you acknowledged and noticed those feelings when you felt anxious and instead, engaged in more helpful behaviors from the nourishment menu? Below are some suggestions. I’d love to know which of these or other ones work best for you.

20 Self-Help Strategies - Nourishment Menu

• Journal

• Meditate

• Take a walk

• Change your setting

• Organize or clean

• Create boundaries

• Breathe slowly

• Get a massage

• Hug a loved one for at least 20 seconds

• Run or exercise

• Watch leaves flutter

• Light a scented candle

• Use humor

• Rest

• Read

• Pet your dog or cat

• Listen to or play music

• Take a shower or bath

• Help someone else

• Talk with a friend, family member, or professional

I had a recent anxiety-inducing experience when I inadvertently deleted the most current 45 days of emails from my inbox. After long calls with tech support at Apple and Carbonite, it became clear that the emails might be retrieved, but not without many more hours spent with tech support and possibly worse complications.

A tech hiccup is never convenient. My plans to accomplish a lot that day were derailed because of the anxiety inability to focus. At a point, I decided to let it go and not retrieve the emails. However, I was still anxious and not functioning well. My emotions were in high gear, and my brain was foggy. So what did I do?

“Your ‘nourishment menu’ is where self-help strategies thrive.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I grabbed my journal and wrote. As the inky pen glided along the smooth paper, my heart beat rapidly, and my stomach was in knots. I wrote about the ‘gone’ emails, my anxious feelings, the power they had to deactivate my motivation, the shift in my emotional state of feeling calmer as I wrote, and the choice to let this go and move on. I noticed my environment (birds chirping, trees swaying), took several deep breaths, and shifted gears to write about positive memories from the mini vacation we just had.

After journaling, I met a dear friend for a walk along the river. We talked, laughed, and I shared the email saga with her. Not knowing about the nourishment menu at the time, I realized after how I had used several of these strategies to calm my anxiety, let go, and reset.

What self-help strategies work for you when your strong emotions take over? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

We’ve all been through a lot with the pandemic, change, loss, political unrest, uncertainty, and this sense that life is and will continue to be different. We’ve had to be flexible, resilient, and creative. Last year, many of us canceled Thanksgiving and other holidays that we usually celebrated. Instead, we found different ways to “be together.” Zoom was our new best friend. It was a lost year of non-celebrations and sadness for some of us because we missed the human contact and in-person gatherings. 

Personally, I’ve felt a great hole from the loss of my mom, who died this year. Yet somehow, as the months have passed, while I miss her greatly, I’m also feeling such gratitude for the wonderful people who are here. Through the tumult, friends, family, and colleagues have brought moments of joy and lightness to a challenging time. We’ve stayed connected through texts, emails, phone calls, social media, Zoom, FaceTime, and in person. 

My conversations this fall, which often were “walk and talks,” covered everything from challenges to successes, plans, hopes, dreams, family, friends, work, travel, feelings, stories, tears, laughter, and so much more. Many of these treasured moments happened while we walked side-by-side, taking in the beautiful views of nature or hearing the crunch of the leaves as our feet made contact with the forest floor. 

What does any of this have to do with organizing? Organizing can be about managing our physical stuff and also how we use and prioritize our time. Between pivoting my business to virtual organizing and letting go of things to “live with less,” I made time to stay connected. Life isn’t all about working and doing. It’s also about having time with the special people in your life. 

“Life isn’t all about working and doing.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I am so profoundly grateful for my family, friends, colleagues, and clients. Life would not be the same without you. There are too many people to name. But I’d like to give a special shout-out to my wonderful husband, Steve, our amazing kiddos Cassie and Allison, and beautiful friends old and new Joanne, Yota, Christine, and Juliet. Thank you for the many ways you share your wisdom, love, and light.

Grateful for wonderful family and friends who bring their special blend of wisdom, compassion, humor, love, and light to this world.

As we navigate the holiday season, who do you want to connect with? Who are you grateful for? How do you connect with the people most important to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The newest installment (v33) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature is here with my latest finds informing, educating, and relating to organizing and life balance. Included are unique, inspiring, wonderfully human-related discoveries, which reflect this month’s blog theme. 

You are a generous, compassionate, and engaged group. I am deeply appreciative and grateful for your presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Wonderfully Human-Related Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Human Being

“Awareness is a capacity of the human mind…the state of being conscious of something.”  This quote is from Diana Winston’s The Little Book of Being – Practices and Guidance for Uncovering Your Natural Awareness. Diana is an author, mindfulness teacher, and director of mindfulness education at UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center.

Mindfulness practices have different areas of focus and awareness. In Diana’s book, she features natural awareness, which she says, “…is a way of knowing and a state of being wherein our focus is on the awareness itself rather than on the things we are aware of. It is generally relaxed, effortless, and spacious.” The book’s three sections help us understand what natural awareness is, share natural awareness meditation techniques, and give ways to informally practice natural awareness. What is the benefit of an awareness practice? Diana says, “…both natural awareness and classical mindfulness practices…give us a capacity to handle life.”

2. Interesting Product – Human Doing

This hot off the press game, Declutter Go!™, which officially goes on sale on November 15th, was invented by my amazing friend and colleague, Lynne Poulton, founder of Wholly Organized®. Declutter Go!™ is as fun and colorful as Lynne. The game entices you to get started, especially if you feel overwhelmed by clutter, with the roll of a dice or two or six.

This is a motivational tool that uses brain science and gamification to help you conquer clutter. The game will help prepare you to declutter, choose an action, set a time boundary for your decluttering session, select the room to work and enjoy a reward after completing three decluttering sprints. Designed by humans for humans, use this yourself, or play it with the whole family. Learn more at decluttergo.com.

3. Interesting Resource  – Human Experiencing

With intolerance and hatred on the rise, we need more kindness and compassion in this world. One way to do this is to seek to understand rather than to “other.” The Human Library®, a non-profit developed in Denmark over 20 years ago, is a learning platform that hosts personal conversations that aim to “challenge stigmas and stereotypes” and talk with people you would not usually meet. They create a safe space to openly discuss topics between their “human books” and readers. The “human books” are volunteers who share their personal experiences. The Human Library® says, “difficult questions are expected, appreciated, and answered.” They host events virtually, in libraries, and other venues in over 80 countries.

“Awareness is a capacity of the human mind . . . a state of being conscious of something.”

— Diana Winston

4. Interesting Podcast – Human Listening

Last month I loved talking with Dr. Christine Li, Make Time for Success podcast host, psychologist, procrastination coach, and all-around extraordinary human being. Christine invited me to be a guest on her podcast for a two-part series. I shared ideas for managing clutter and discussed, at her request, the virtual organizing work we did together. If you missed our organizing conversations, listen here.

If you haven’t signed up for Christine’s podcast, add it to your listening cue now. She has a calm, warm way of normalizing the challenges we all face and sharing ways to overcome them. Christine is authentic, brave, and asks excellent, insightful questions. Her voice is so soothing. You come away feeling inspired along with learning simple, doable strategies for change.

5. Interesting Thought – Human Appreciating
The holidays can be full of stress, rushing, overdoing, and indulging. There are parties to host or attend, presents to purchase and wrap, and special meals to shop for and prepare. But here’s the thing. Many moments can be missed if we’re so focused on doing. We forget to stop, breathe, and notice the beauty and joy available to us. So while you are rushing and stressing, take a minute. Choose the lovely route to the store, take a forest walk in the rain, and slow down enough to be present. It will help you enjoy the holidays with more gratitude and less stress.

What are your interesting, wonderfully human discoveries? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Loss is part of the human experience. It’s one of the things we have in common with each other. When we lose someone we love, we often want to hold onto their physical possessions to remind us of them. In most situations, keeping some meaningful treasures is comforting. But what happens when your deceased loved one’s stuff overwhelms you? Maybe you are the person who is responsible for deciding what to do with their possessions. Perhaps all of their things have landed in your home, and you don’t have space, time, or energy to edit them. Maybe you’re still grieving, and it feels impossible or too soon to choose. I get it. I’ve been there personally and have walked the road with clients as they’ve faced similar circumstances.

It’s been seven months since my mom passed away. I miss her so much. I completed the editing and dispossessing process. Her lifetime of things, including her home of almost 60 years, has been sold, given to family members, donated, or discarded. I kept some furniture, art, books, jewelry, photos, memorabilia, and documents. There are still a few things I need to decide about. But mostly, her possessions and life are settled.

Beyond her stuff and physical presence, she remains with me in other ways. She visits me in my dreams. When I hear the music of Bach, Mozart, or musicals like The Sound of Music, I think of her. More recently, I was reminded about the power of the olfactory sense, which can transport us to another time in an instant. I hope my story will help you as you journey on your letting go path.

The Pine Needles

I am obsessed with the smell of the pines when I trek down the block. It’s as if I’m a huntress, hunting the scent. Several months ago, when I walked, I only smelled the pine if the wind blew in a particular way. The smell was fleeting. It was there one step and gone the next. I would back step, trying to get “it” again, but the aroma was gone. 

Why am I so obsessed? 

I have a memory from age six or seven. My parents took my siblings and me to a nature preserve for the weekend. Our car was packed with sleeping bags, slabs of wax for the lanterns, coolers, cots, and our dog, Sandy. They rented a lean-to, a three-sided, roofed structure, for our stay.

As we entered the park and drove up the road, tall, gracious pine trees marked the path on either side. My mom had my dad stop the car. She insisted we all gaze at the trees, open our windows, and take in their beautiful fragrance. My mom loved the smell. As we stood, I could hear her inhale the scent as she breathed in deeply and smiled. For those few minutes, the five of us stared and smelled as we enjoyed the moment. Whenever I smell fresh pine, I think of her.

On my walks down my block, I try to get a whiff of the trees. And every so often, I catch it. Then a few weeks ago, I noticed the dried pine needles falling in bunches to the ground. With their release came a concentrated scent. I’d walk, and there was the smell. I felt transported back to the time I had that moment with my mom so many decades ago.

She’s gone now. She left this year in March at 92 years young. But as I wander down the block, kicking the pine needles as I walk, it makes their fragrance even more intense. Gratitude and calm fill my being as I activate the aroma and feel my mom’s presence, strong like the scent of the dried pine needles.

“Gently let go when you can.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

For those of you that have lost a loved one, my heart goes out to you. If you are overwhelmed and struggling with letting go of physical possessions, I offer you this. Can you keep a few treasures and physical reminders? Can you allow the rest to move on? Your loved one’s memory will be with you in other ways through your stories, dreams, scents, sounds, and more. They wouldn’t want you to be overwhelmed or feel burdened by their stuff. Gently let go when you can.

Besides material possessions, what other ways keep you connected to your loved ones who have passed? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.