On my recent walks this week, I noticed more leaves changing colors. The luminous sun embraced the intensely colored foliage and highlighted the shifts in the fall palette. Frequently, I paused to fully appreciate the beauty. I saw the brilliant warm reds, oranges, and yellows juxtaposed with the cooler greens. I felt the gentle, refreshing breeze on my face as I heard the rustling of the leaves above. During the later part of the holiday season, a commonly overheard phrase is “winter wonderland.” Today feels like a fall fantasy ripe with possibilities. Are you feeling motivated? Are you sensing a change? What is possible?

I look forward to the intimate monthly virtual gatherings led by my wonderful friend and incredible Life Coach, Yota Schneider. At the retreat, we meditate, journal, and share our thoughts. She selects a theme each time, and this month was The Season of Change. During the gathering, she told us about Chris Bianco, an “inspiring pizza man from the Bronx,” and his philosophy on life. He sees life as a “petri dish of possibilities.” What a concept and approach to living!

While we typically think of a petri dish in a scientific context where microorganism cultures are developed in a small shallow container, there is another definition. Something that fosters development or innovation can be a petri dish too. A petri dish of possibilities supports a growth mindset. You’re not a stuck, fixed being. You can stretch, create, change, and imagine.

Have you ever felt stuck? If so, you’re not alone. We all get stuck at times. There can be many reasons why or when that happens. Often our thoughts keep us fixated on a single idea, and we have difficulty changing the script. What if you integrated the “petri dish of possibilities” into your consciousness? Would that open up your thinking?

At times having too many options creates paralysis. When numerous choices make you feel stuck, the ‘petri dish’ phrase isn’t a great choice. However, in many situations, it is a useful concept to engage.

“Life is a petri dish of possibilities.”

— Chris Bianco

The phrases you repeat in your mind can change the trajectory of where you’re going. Are these affirmations helpful?

• I am moving forward.

• I am no longer stuck.

• I am making a choice.

• I am taking action.

• If my action isn’t effective, I will experiment with something else.

• I will embrace what’s possible.

• I see a petri dish of possibilities.

It’s fall. Change is all around. Are you thinking about what’s possible? Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Have you ever tried to build a new habit, make a change in your life, or learn something new? Think of one of those times. Did you go it alone? Or did you have help and support? For most of us, when we’re doing something outside our skill set or comfort zone, reaching out for help is the secret sauce for success.

You might remember that I set a big goal to create a healthier lifestyle almost a year ago. My main objectives were to change my eating habits, exercise more, and lose weight. Could I have done this without help? Definitely not! My husband, family, friends, and Noom coaches and lessons provide support. I’m still working on my goals, and I’ve made significant progress. I’m 25 pounds lighter, feel better physically, and am more flexible and energetic.

The ‘Noom lessons’ help me tremendously. The app sends me daily articles that deep dive into the psychology of weight loss, provide encouragement, include practical advice, and describe ways to maintain a healthy lifestyle. One piece of Noom’s wisdom that resonated with me was “Practice makes progress.”

Notice it doesn’t say ‘practice makes perfect,’ a familiar phrase. Because what or who is perfect?

I love how the practice-makes-progress concept encourages experimentation and ongoing action. Practice infers something you are working on and supports a growth mindset. It allows space for success, failure, and learning. Progress inspires incremental change.

“Practice makes progress.”

— Noom

I recognize how instrumental enlisting help is for achieving my goals. My organizing clients also experience these benefits. I love being on their support team.

Some ways I help my virtual organizing clients are to:

• Define realistic goals

• Experiment with new habits

• Declutter and organize their things, thoughts, time, and space

• Create maintainable organizing systems

• Integrate accountability

• Reflect on the changes they are making

• Navigate overwhelm, backsliding, frustration, and discovery

• Celebrate their progress and success

We focus on small, consistent, gradual change. My clients practice new habits, experiment with organizing systems, shift their perspective, and make progress. It’s genuinely inspiring to see their positive changes.

What changes are you actively working on? Do you have help? Do you need help? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

What is one of the biggest obstacles that prevent you from making the changes you want? Our automatic negative thoughts, aka ANTS, can be a change blocker. They can damage your self-esteem, make you doubt your decisions, stop you from reaching your goals, or keep you stuck in a loop of negativity. What becomes possible when you transform negative energy and shift to a positive, growth-oriented mindset? How could that change benefit you?

Recently I was struggling with some personal ANTS. I discovered several strategies for working with and changing persistent negative self-talk. Shower yourself with love. In celebration of February, the love month, I encourage you to keep those warm Valentine’s Day feelings alive and extend some extra love and compassion to yourself.

As you consider these strategies I learned, I hope they will help you reframe the negativity and flourish.

5 Ways to Empower Change by Quieting Your Negative Self-Talk

During a weekly Executive Mom Nest coaching session, Leesa Askew, incredible colleague, Nest Advisor, and Transformational Coach, presented ideas about making your mindset an asset. To do that, she shared ways to “change the channel…change the programming.” Leesa learned these ANTS-busting strategies from Dr. Daniel Amen.

1. Write Affirmations

Create affirmations to counteract those ANTS. Write down three to five uplifting phrases you can repeat and keep in view. You can use your own words or find a favorite quote. This is one of Leesa’s personal favorites:

“I am always in the right place at the right time in the right state of mind.” 

If you feel stuck finding your words and want to try something fun, check out the interactive Affirmation Wheel my husband shared with me from Noom. When I clicked on the wheel, it coincidentally landed on this one:

“I have the power to create change.” 

How awesome is that? The next time doubt creeps in, I’ll have this affirmation ready to work its magic.

2.  Use Music

As Leesa said, music is a powerful force that “can stimulate the brain” and put you in a “subliminal trance.” She suggests creating a “Killing the ANTS Playlist.”  Which songs lift you up, bring a smile to your face, and shift your mood from crummy to happy? Music can completely alter how we feel. What songs will you include on your playlist? 

Here are several from mine:

• Respect – Aretha Franklin

• Happy – Pharrell Williams

• Better Together – Jack Johnson

• Stand By Me – Ben King

• Can’t Get What You Want – The Rolling Stones

• With A Little Help From My Friends – The Beatles

Pharrell Williams - Happy (video)

3. Get Physical

Interestingly, any type of physical activity can energize you and stop those negative thoughts from surfacing. Leesa shared how 25 jumping jacks can give you more energy than drinking two cups of coffee. Plus, physical movement has the added bonus of shifting your mindset to the positive. 

The next time your ANTS come marching in, stand up, get moving, and say bye-bye to the negativity. Take a brisk walk, go on a bike ride, dance around the house (using your new playlist, of course,) or do those 25 jumping jacks. You’ve got this!

“I have the power to create change.”

— Noom, Affirmation Wheel

Each week I receive Todd Henry’s 3 Things email, the “creative sparks to help you do better work.”  This week’s edition was well-timed because Todd included strategies for counteracting the negative “chatter” in your head. Hello, negative self-talk!

Todd referenced his podcast conversation with Dr. Ethan Kross, psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and author of Chatter – The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.  I love these ideas Todd shared from the podcast with Dr. Kross, and I hope you do too.

4. Address Yourself

When negative self-talk takes over, “speak countering messages directly to yourself, and call yourself by name when you do it.” This is so powerful. If I rewrite my affirmation from number one above, it becomes,

“Linda, you have the power to create change.”

Coming in loudly and clearly. What message do you need to hear?

5. Welcome Growth

We often receive feedback, which may be unsolicited or not. When the comment isn’t favorable, doubt and negative self-talk can surface. I love this suggestion for redirecting that energy.

“Refuse to personalize critiques, but instead see them as an opportunity for growth.” 

Adopting the growth mindset is valuable in all situations. It shifts the focus from being defensive or thinking, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ to ‘what can I learn from this?’ 

Are there changes you’d like to pursue but find that ANTS create an obstacle? Which strategies resonate with you? Do you have other ways to counterbalance negative self-talk? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Do you dread change, especially unwanted change? If so, you’re not alone. We often prefer things to stay as they are, even if we aren’t happy about our situation. When we are the change seeker, as all of my organizing clients are, we can still experience doubt, anxiety, fear, or lack of confidence. 

As someone who gravitates towards stability, I also push myself to make changes. Trying something different is rarely easy or comfortable. The journey can be challenging, with hiccups along the path. And at times, especially with unplanned change, we can wonder, “Why is this happening to me?”

Change is often accompanied by choppy waters and unexpected obstacles. What if there were a way to navigate with less stress and more grace? What difference can a shift in perspective make?

I heard something so powerful during a mindfulness meditation that I have to share it with you. Meditation teacher Bethany Auriel-Hagan offered a perspective that can help you navigate all types of change (desired or unplanned) with more ease. She said, “Change is happening for you, in favor of you, and doesn’t that change everything?”

“Change is happening for you, in favor of you, and doesn’t that change everything?”

— Bethany Auriel-Hagen

Let’s unpack that. Bethany offers that instead of change happening to you, it’s happening for you. The implication is change brings lessons and growth. The next time you struggle with change, what if you shift your perspective to this growth mindset? How would it alter your experience and attitude?

Consider a change you are in the midst of right now. Are you driving this change? Or, is it unplanned and possibly have no control over? Does reframing it shift your thinking? Can you see the benefit or lesson? Are there growth possibilities?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.