Do you dread change, especially unwanted change? If so, you’re not alone. We often prefer things to stay as they are, even if we aren’t happy about our situation. When we are the change seeker, as all of my organizing clients are, we can still experience doubt, anxiety, fear, or lack of confidence. 

As someone who gravitates towards stability, I also push myself to make changes. Trying something different is rarely easy or comfortable. The journey can be challenging, with hiccups along the path. And at times, especially with unplanned change, we can wonder, “Why is this happening to me?”

Change is often accompanied by choppy waters and unexpected obstacles. What if there were a way to navigate with less stress and more grace? What difference can a shift in perspective make?

I heard something so powerful during a mindfulness meditation that I have to share it with you. Meditation teacher Bethany Auriel-Hagan offered a perspective that can help you navigate all types of change (desired or unplanned) with more ease. She said, “Change is happening for you, in favor of you, and doesn’t that change everything?”

“Change is happening for you, in favor of you, and doesn’t that change everything?”

— Bethany Auriel-Hagen

Let’s unpack that. Bethany offers that instead of change happening to you, it’s happening for you. The implication is change brings lessons and growth. The next time you struggle with change, what if you shift your perspective to this growth mindset? How would it alter your experience and attitude?

Consider a change you are in the midst of right now. Are you driving this change? Or, is it unplanned and possibly have no control over? Does reframing it shift your thinking? Can you see the benefit or lesson? Are there growth possibilities?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

There’s nothing like embarrassing yourself to crave a do-over or fresh start. It’s often a minor perspective shift that helps us to reflect and begin again. How timely that my year started with such an incident.

I was ready for that first Monday back from the more leisurely holiday schedule. I woke up knowing where I needed to be and when. My morning routine resumed with my wake-up alarm, exercises, shower, dressing, breakfast and deskwork. To gear up for the day and week, I double-checked my schedule and list of to dos. The New Year had arrived and I was looking forward to the first organizing session of the year.

Like I often do, I set a timer as my auditory cue, so that I wouldn't be late to my client's. The timer rang so I got ready and left. The day was going as planned. Even with some traffic, I arrived at my client’s on time…or so I thought.

As it turns out, I got there two hours early. My client wasn't home. After some confusion (it still hadn’t occurred to me that I was early), when I realized my mistake about the start time, I explained and apologized to her gracious husband and said I'd return at the correct time. So much for the organizer being organized, right? This was embarrassing to arrive at the wrong time...the really wrong (as in two hours early wrong) time.

Next steps…laugh at self and find the nearest Starbucks. Having this unexpected block of time, I enjoyed slowly sipping a latte and writing this post. I used to write at Starbucks, but hadn’t done that in a while. This was a welcome change of environment. And somewhere during the latte drinking and writing, I came up with a few reminders that helped me shift my perspective and embrace a fresh start. I hope that the lessons I found would be helpful for you the next time you have an incident.

Linda’s New Year's Lessons:

• Mistakes happen.
• Discover the gift in those mistakes.
• Be flexible.
• Don't assume.
• Improve looking and listening.
• Find the humor.
• You’re human.
• Add this one to my bloopers reel.

Are there any “situations” you’d like to share with us? What were your takeaways? What helped you to move forward after an embarrassing incident? What allowed you to embrace a fresh start? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.

Letting go lessons can be found in the most unusual places. This past weekend my husband and I traveled to South Carolina to watch our daughter, Cassie, and her teammates (Go QC Boston!) play in the Quidditch World Cup tournament. There were 80 teams from around the country (and Canada, too) vying for the number one spot. In two days the teams played anywhere from 5 to 10 highly energetic and physically taxing games.

All teams had spent many months preparing, practicing, and participating in other Quidditch tournaments. They arrived at World Cup ready for the ultimate challenge to play the best of the best.

This was the lesson. I don’t know if it was like this for all the teams, but for QCB, it was about letting go of the outcome. They approached each game with the best they had. They enjoyed working as a team, supporting one another, staying focused and in the moment. While they played to win, as each game ended, they let go of the outcome and focused on learning more from their wins or losses. It was quite extraordinary to witness.

How often do we invest so heavily in an outcome that we miss the joy that’s part of the process? Maybe we’re so concerned with the outcome that we prevent ourselves from potential learning and growth.

“How often do we invest so heavily in an outcome that we miss the joy that’s part of the process?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

I’d love to hear your thoughts. How does letting go of the outcome change your perspective?

8 Lessons LearnedWe are human beings that make mistakes. It’s impossible to go through life without taking some wrong turns, isn’t it? Of course our mistakes will vary as much as the lessons or growth we experience from them. And while there’s nothing quite as effective as hands-on learning, we can also learn something from other people’s stories. I enlisted help from a generous group of wonderful colleagues (Andrea Sharb, Cena Block, Peggy Pardo, Sheila Delson, April Lane Benson, Susan Lasky, Yota Schneider, and Sue West.) I asked them, “Can you describe a personal mistake or failure, which was accompanied by learning and growth?” Their responses are poignant, motivating, and inspiring. My deepest gratitude goes to each of them for bravely sharing their lessons with us. If you’re grappling with unresolved mistakes or feelings of failure, keep reading to discover some powerful, forward-thinking strategies that might work for you.

Can you describe a personal mistake or failure, which was accompanied by learning and growth? . . .

Slowing Down

“A significant source of failure for me: taking on too much, becoming overwhelmed and not completing tasks as a result. For many years I felt like I was failing everyday. An ADHD diagnosis and learning about how my brain works helped build awareness around what was happening so I could begin to slow this cycle. Now, a couple of my daily best practices questions help me maintain an ongoing awareness around this: 

Is this new opportunity just shiny, or will it truly energize me in the long run?

Am I relying on found time to get to what's most important?"

Andrea Sharb, CPO-CD®, ACC®, COC®, CPO® – Professional Organizer & ADHD Productivity Coach

Letting Go of Perfection

“One thing I struggled with early on in business was waiting till I had it 'right' before launching something new. It didn't matter whether it was a class, a blog post, a workshop, or a new pricing package… I was stopped because it didn't feel 'ready'.  This is something with which I know many mompreneurs struggle. Getting it right is largely connected to the hidden insecurity of not feeling good enough. (YES, those insecurities always seem to be lurking behind the scenes!) So, my PERSONAL MISTAKE was to wait, wait, wait… and use 'getting it right' as an excuse to stay stuck.  When I hired a coach, and she held this 'pattern' up so I could see it, I set a date and launched - in all my imperfection. What I learned was that waiting to launch to make it perfect was safer. Launching was more risky - but ultimately served MORE people… and allowed me to let go of the perfection.”

Cena Block – Business Coach, Author & Speaker

Trusting Instincts

“Most of the biggest mistakes I've made in my life have happened when I didn't listen to the ‘little voice inside my head’, call it instinct or intuition, and instead listened to others because I wasn't confident enough in my abilities. Hindsight has taught me to pay attention to what my gut is telling me and trust my own judgment. This has helped me to develop confidence in my decisions and talents.”

Peggy Pardo – Interior Decorator, Professional Organizer, Author, & Blogger

Doing No Harm

“One big personal mistake: assuming too much reliance and trust on others over myself. Betrayal and abandonment resulted when I was given an ultimatum over someone I wanted to marry – their way or the highway. I chose "my way!"  An excruciating lesson thirty years ago became my greatest blessing since. I've learned the value of forgiveness and tolerance of other’s mistakes, and my own as well.  We all try to do the best we can. Today this lesson impacts my daily decisions both personally and professionally.  Whenever possible – do no harm!”

Sheila Delson, CPO-CD® – Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization

Trusting Others

“Over thirty years ago, my husband began a retirement account for me that I contributed to each year. He did extremely well and my small initial investment grew by a multiple by 30! The tech bubble burst. I lost about 80% of that paper profit. I got extremely angry and took the management of the account away from him, which made him very angry. I put what money was left in a hedge fund and lost almost all the rest! What I learned was that I needed to totally trust my husband who had already more than proved himself.”

April Lane Benson, Ph.D. – Psychologist & Author

Honoring Imperfections

“As a professional organizer, I am ‘supposed’ to stay organized.  As a productivity coach, I am ‘supposed’ to walk my talk.  As a human being, I often fall short.  For a long time, I felt this dichotomy between knowing and doing made me an imposter. Even though I was frequently successful in following my own advice, I was never consistent, so how could I advise clients? 

A wonderful thing happened when I learned to truly accept myself, with humor and grace (which also became Step #2 in my 7-Step PowerPlan to Success).  As I shared my challenges with prospects and clients, their reaction was totally supportive and even relieved that I wasn’t ‘perfect.’  They felt I deeply understood their issues, and could help them break free from their own inner critic.”

Susan Lasky, M.A., SCAC – Board Certified Coach & Professional Organizer

Forgiving Self

“I've had my share of mistakes but once I begin to think about them in terms of the growth and learning that followed, they stop looking like mistakes. Of course not every mistake is accompanied by meaningful growth. There are mistakes I've made that simply highlight an aspect of myself that needs to be known.

What comes to mind is how I left corporate. I hadn't been happy for a while but instead of thinking it through, I just quit. As a result, I've had to backtrack numerous times and learn how to deal with the aftermath. I had to learn how to build a business from the ground up, keep going despite the obstacles, and forgive myself for not knowing it all. I believe I am a better coach because of all I've been through.”

Yota Schneider, Seasons of Change Certified Master Coach – Life Transitions Coach, Workshops & Retreat Facilitator, Blogger, & Mindfulness Meditation Practitioner

Listening to Intuition

“I was a late bloomer to listening to the inner, intuitive voice which is uniquely mine. Any time that quiet whisper of a voice spoke to me, I ignored it, not believing in it. The growth came through learning to feel my feelings, so that my voice would grow louder and stronger. The learning came about due to errors of experience, through work with a therapist who didn't let me get away with intellectualizing, my work with clients who taught (and teach) me more than they will ever know, and my coaching program, where I learned even deeper listening skills.”

Sue West, CPO-CD®, COC® – Organizing & ADHD Coach

The deep knowing that each person has experienced by making mistakes, choosing wrong paths, and failing is so inspiring. We’ve all been there. It can be painful to grow. However, the silver lining is that we can use those lessons to have healthier, more productive, and happier lives. We can also use our experiences to help others.

Which lessons resonate with you? Do you have a personal learning experience to share? Come join the conversation.