A while back, I received an email from Soren Gordhamer, an entrepreneur and founder of the Wisdom 2.0 Conference. He wrote,

“Two things are pretty clear:

 We have limited heartbeats in this life.

 And

 We never know when our last heartbeat will be.”

If that’s not a call to be intentional and focus on what matters most, I don’t know what is. When thinking about creating a better, happier life balance, framing it in the context of our limited time can help.

Are you spending time and emotional energy on things that are within or out of your control? Are you stressing about ‘what ifs, shoulds, and if only?’  Or are you focused on those things that are doable, bring you joy, and make life flow better?

You have choices, which is a good thing.

Circles of Influence and Control

This idea of limited time connects to another concept I was recently reminded of in To Do – 41 Tools to Start, Stick With, and Finish Things by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tshchappeler.

They shared a Steven Covey concept from his classic book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It is the“circles of influence and control” technique to “help whenever we feel ineffectual, powerless or frustrated.” It’s also an excellent exercise for infusing better balance and focus into your days.

How to Create Your Circles – What You Can and Can’t Change

As the illustration below shows, draw three concentric circles.

1. Outer: Circle of Concern

• Anything you have no control over belongs in the “concern” circle.

• List several “things that bother you but you can’t do anything about.” Examples include:

  • Past events

  • The political climate

  • Natural disasters

  • Other people’s flaws

2. Center: Circle of Control

• List several things you have agency over. These could be:

  • What you eat

  • Amount of sleep you get

  • People you hang out with

  • Amount of organization you have

  • Books you read

  • Movies you watch

• Some might seem trivial, but they significantly influence our lives. Add these to your “control” list.

“There’s immense power in knowing which things in our lives we can and can’t control.”

— Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschappeler

3. Middle: Circle of Influence

• Include here things that aren’t in your control, yet you might be able to influence through your attitude or behavior. For example,

  • It’s impossible to “single-handedly avert climate change, but you can do something about it by living sustainably.”

  • You cannot “change your genes, but you can exercise regularly and eat more healthfully.”

  • You have no power over circle of concern events. However, you can influence or change your reaction to them.

How Does This Exercise Help?

The more you focus on those things you have no control over (circle of concern), the “more helpless and ineffectual you’ll feel.” However, when you focus on what is within your control (circle of influence and circle of control,) “the more confident and less anxious you’ll be.”

This exercise can heighten your awareness of how you’re spending your precious time. Focusing on areas you have agency and influence over can tip the balance in a more positive direction.

A Balanced Life Approach

You only go around once. How can you balance your days to include those things within your control and influence? What can you improve? What can you let go of?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, planning, or finding a right balance for you? I’d love to help and I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization, balance, and ease are possible, especially with support.

Do you dread change, especially unwanted change? If so, you’re not alone. We often prefer things to stay as they are, even if we aren’t happy about our situation. When we are the change seeker, as all of my organizing clients are, we can still experience doubt, anxiety, fear, or lack of confidence. 

As someone who gravitates towards stability, I also push myself to make changes. Trying something different is rarely easy or comfortable. The journey can be challenging, with hiccups along the path. And at times, especially with unplanned change, we can wonder, “Why is this happening to me?”

Change is often accompanied by choppy waters and unexpected obstacles. What if there were a way to navigate with less stress and more grace? What difference can a shift in perspective make?

I heard something so powerful during a mindfulness meditation that I have to share it with you. Meditation teacher Bethany Auriel-Hagan offered a perspective that can help you navigate all types of change (desired or unplanned) with more ease. She said, “Change is happening for you, in favor of you, and doesn’t that change everything?”

“Change is happening for you, in favor of you, and doesn’t that change everything?”

— Bethany Auriel-Hagen

Let’s unpack that. Bethany offers that instead of change happening to you, it’s happening for you. The implication is change brings lessons and growth. The next time you struggle with change, what if you shift your perspective to this growth mindset? How would it alter your experience and attitude?

Consider a change you are in the midst of right now. Are you driving this change? Or, is it unplanned and possibly have no control over? Does reframing it shift your thinking? Can you see the benefit or lesson? Are there growth possibilities?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

We are still at the beginning of the New Year, yet we can embrace a fresh start at any time. You can begin again any moment, minute, hour, day, month, season, or year. Your attitude about ‘new’ can determine an optimistic or pessimistic start. 

While I feel incredibly energized in January, I also regularly experience a positive anticipatory sense at the beginning of each day. Most mornings when I wake, I am energized by the clean slate and promise a new day brings with its plans, surprises, and quiet moments that will unfold. 

To understand other views, I was curious what my thoughtful colleagues’ perspectives were about fresh starts and new beginnings. I reached out to this generous group – Al Bingham, Felice Cohen, Juliet Landau-Pope, Christine Li, and Yota Schneider. I asked them to respond to and elaborate on this prompt-

How do you make the most of a fresh start?

Their diverse responses include having no expectations to delving deeply. My deepest gratitude goes to this inspiring group for sharing their time, hearts, and wisdom with us.

5 Best Ideas to Help You Make a Promising Fresh Start

1. Remain Open

“I make the most of a fresh start by trying to have ZERO assumptions about what is going to happen. That way, I remain open to what might be and not wound up by what I might expect to happen when I often have no idea what might actually happen. When I have no assumptions or expectations going in, I can enjoy the process and the eventual outcome without having them mean anything negative about me — and that is a wonderful thing.” 

Christine Li, Ph.D. – Procrastination Coach, Clinical Psychologist, Make Time for Success podcast Host

 2. Stay Focused

“I think of every day as a fresh start, a new beginning, a new chance to get things done. To help make the day productive, each day starts with a clean To-Do list. A list offers steps to follow, guides you toward a goal, and keeps you on target to avoid falling down a TikTok rabbit hole. (Use TikTok as a reward for finishing a task on the list.) Every task completed, whether easy or time-consuming, motivates you toward completing another. Then another. Remember, you don’t have to get it all done today; there’s always tomorrow.”

Felice Cohen – Author, Speaker, Professional Organizer

3. Be Present

“Faced with a fresh challenge, it’s tempting to look back, reviewing previous efforts and setbacks. Or perhaps to project into the future, speculating on possible outcomes. While there’s much to be learned from looking back and forward, both drive you into your head, fuelling fears and fantasies rather than forward into action. No wonder over-thinking is a common cause of procrastination. If you aim to boost motivation, adopt a more mindful approach to your present situation. Focus on what matters most, right here, right now. Then identify the very first step and take the leap.”

Juliet Landau-Pope MA, PG Cert AP, CPCC, FRSA – Productivity Coach, Virtual Organizer

“We are still at the beginning of a New Year, yet we can embrace a fresh start at any time.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

 4. Manifest Attention

“During the big reveal on makeover shows, the heroes don’t endlessly harp on how lousy things were before. Instead, there are tears of joy, wonder, gratitude, and love for the fresh start they’re receiving. Discomfort and dismay may provide sparks that light the desire for change, but they're a lousy fuel source for enacting it. A fresh start involves three primal actions: bringing something forward, organizing it, and releasing something. Each needs careful attention. Love, wonder, and gratitude helps keep things roaring. When these ‘ends’ inform your ‘means,’ your awareness remains open to finding novel paths forward during the refresh process!” 

Al Bingham, e-RYT500, YACEP, FAFS – Yoga Teacher, Author

 5. Nurture Reflection

"At the threshold of a new beginning, it is important to stay open, curious, and honest. If I don’t want old patterns repeating themselves, I have to decide what to leave behind and how to show up. I love taking long walks and drives and having intimate conversations with myself. I reflect on what I love about this fresh start. Then I ask, what are my fears? What habits, behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes could undermine me? Am I ready to let them go? What’s next? As answers and insights bubble up, I grow more confident, clear, and excited about the journey ahead."

Yota Schneider – Life Coach, Retreat Facilitator, Blogger

While January is almost over, there will be more opportunities for fresh starts. What helps you make the most of a fresh start? Are there specific periods you are more energized than others? Which ideas resonate most with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The latest installment (v30) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature is here with my recent discoveries that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. I’ve included unique and inspiring, change-related finds, which reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are a wonderfully generous, warm, and engaged group. I am deeply appreciative and grateful for your presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community.

I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced. What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? . . .

1. Interesting Read – Motivational Change

Making a change can be challenging enough. When we understand what motivates us and why we can create an environment for success in our lives.  In The Motivation Code – Discover the Hidden Forces That Drive Your Best Work, Todd Henry, author, consultant, and creative, shares research that identifies twenty-seven unique motivational themes that drive us. We each have a specific combination of motivation drivers that can be discovered by taking the MCODE assessment. Todd says, “Your Motivation Code is not intended to be worn like a name tag. It is meant to help you better understand why you are driven to achieve certain outcomes, and the unique opportunities that accompany those drives.” If you feel challenged by change and motivation, your insights from reading this book and taking the assessment will be valuable. As Todd says, “Operating within what naturally drives us allows us to work toward the outcomes we most crave.”

2. Interesting Resource – Clever Change

The pandemic has accentuated the need to have rooms serve multiple purposes. An eating space, living room, or bedroom is also an office, meeting, or learning space. Having furniture that is functional, well designed, and easily transformable for your needs sounds too good to be true. Not anymore! Expand Furniture in Canada has an impressive collection that changes coffee tables into desks, ottomans into extra chairs, desks into dining tables, and many more options. The only downside is that I’m now addicted to watching their YouTube channel. 

“If you’re ready to change your attitude about the cold, focus on ‘koselig,’ a Norwegian strategy for thriving in winter.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

3. Interesting Article  – Mood Change

With the pandemic, various quarantine levels, and winter’s cold, short days, many of us feel unsettled. In a recent Forge article, The Norwegian Philosophy of Thriving in Winter, James Ware shares the Norwegians’ secret for creating a positive mindset in winter. They focus on koselig, which is “a sort of shared, safe togetherness.” It’s a feeling of warmth and safety that can “describe a house, a situation, a meal, a conversation, or a person.” It’s similar to the word, cozy, or the Danish concept, hygge. Psychologist Kari Leibowitz researched the winter mindset. Ware shared her thoughts and said, “the koselig mindset is about making the best out of a bad situation.”  If you’re ready to change your attitude about winter, try one of the suggestions: create a cozy ecosystem at home and with people, find creative ways to be social, be in nature, and reach out to help someone else.

4. Interesting Season – Organizational Change

The cold temperatures, mounds of snow, and pandemic likely means you are spending more time inside than out. Are you working from home, helping your kids learn remotely, and trying to carve out some personal time? Is your home feeling cozy and supportive or chaotic and disorganized? Winter is a great time to set your organizing goals, declutter the extraneous, and create the calm at home that you deserve. Change is possible, especially with support. If you are struggling, enlist help from a compassionate and non-judgmental friend, family member, or professional organizer like me. I’m ready to help. Discover how virtual organizing can work for you. Let’s talk. Call 914-271-5673 or email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com.

5. Interesting Thought – Fear of Change

Let’s face it. Change can feel scary. Our fear can be paralyzing. However, I’ve noticed from personal and client experiences how our fear exaggerates the actual change. Fear isn’t a bad emotion. As a matter of fact, it’s present to warn us of danger and to take a specific action. When we move away from the familiar and comfortable, we can be afraid. Recognizing that growth and positive change are available to you on the other side can help normalize your feelings and move you forward despite your fear. 

What are your interesting finds? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.