What is one of the biggest obstacles that prevent you from making the changes you want? Our automatic negative thoughts, aka ANTS, can be a change blocker. They can damage your self-esteem, make you doubt your decisions, stop you from reaching your goals, or keep you stuck in a loop of negativity. What becomes possible when you transform negative energy and shift to a positive, growth-oriented mindset? How could that change benefit you?

Recently I was struggling with some personal ANTS. I discovered several strategies for working with and changing persistent negative self-talk. Shower yourself with love. In celebration of February, the love month, I encourage you to keep those warm Valentine’s Day feelings alive and extend some extra love and compassion to yourself.

As you consider these strategies I learned, I hope they will help you reframe the negativity and flourish.

5 Ways to Empower Change by Quieting Your Negative Self-Talk

During a weekly Executive Mom Nest coaching session, Leesa Askew, incredible colleague, Nest Advisor, and Transformational Coach, presented ideas about making your mindset an asset. To do that, she shared ways to “change the channel…change the programming.” Leesa learned these ANTS-busting strategies from Dr. Daniel Amen.

1. Write Affirmations

Create affirmations to counteract those ANTS. Write down three to five uplifting phrases you can repeat and keep in view. You can use your own words or find a favorite quote. This is one of Leesa’s personal favorites:

“I am always in the right place at the right time in the right state of mind.” 

If you feel stuck finding your words and want to try something fun, check out the interactive Affirmation Wheel my husband shared with me from Noom. When I clicked on the wheel, it coincidentally landed on this one:

“I have the power to create change.” 

How awesome is that? The next time doubt creeps in, I’ll have this affirmation ready to work its magic.

2.  Use Music

As Leesa said, music is a powerful force that “can stimulate the brain” and put you in a “subliminal trance.” She suggests creating a “Killing the ANTS Playlist.”  Which songs lift you up, bring a smile to your face, and shift your mood from crummy to happy? Music can completely alter how we feel. What songs will you include on your playlist? 

Here are several from mine:

• Respect – Aretha Franklin

• Happy – Pharrell Williams

• Better Together – Jack Johnson

• Stand By Me – Ben King

• Can’t Get What You Want – The Rolling Stones

• With A Little Help From My Friends – The Beatles

Pharrell Williams - Happy (video)

3. Get Physical

Interestingly, any type of physical activity can energize you and stop those negative thoughts from surfacing. Leesa shared how 25 jumping jacks can give you more energy than drinking two cups of coffee. Plus, physical movement has the added bonus of shifting your mindset to the positive. 

The next time your ANTS come marching in, stand up, get moving, and say bye-bye to the negativity. Take a brisk walk, go on a bike ride, dance around the house (using your new playlist, of course,) or do those 25 jumping jacks. You’ve got this!

“I have the power to create change.”

— Noom, Affirmation Wheel

Each week I receive Todd Henry’s 3 Things email, the “creative sparks to help you do better work.”  This week’s edition was well-timed because Todd included strategies for counteracting the negative “chatter” in your head. Hello, negative self-talk!

Todd referenced his podcast conversation with Dr. Ethan Kross, psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and author of Chatter – The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.  I love these ideas Todd shared from the podcast with Dr. Kross, and I hope you do too.

4. Address Yourself

When negative self-talk takes over, “speak countering messages directly to yourself, and call yourself by name when you do it.” This is so powerful. If I rewrite my affirmation from number one above, it becomes,

“Linda, you have the power to create change.”

Coming in loudly and clearly. What message do you need to hear?

5. Welcome Growth

We often receive feedback, which may be unsolicited or not. When the comment isn’t favorable, doubt and negative self-talk can surface. I love this suggestion for redirecting that energy.

“Refuse to personalize critiques, but instead see them as an opportunity for growth.” 

Adopting the growth mindset is valuable in all situations. It shifts the focus from being defensive or thinking, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ to ‘what can I learn from this?’ 

Are there changes you’d like to pursue but find that ANTS create an obstacle? Which strategies resonate with you? Do you have other ways to counterbalance negative self-talk? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Do you dread change, especially unwanted change? If so, you’re not alone. We often prefer things to stay as they are, even if we aren’t happy about our situation. When we are the change seeker, as all of my organizing clients are, we can still experience doubt, anxiety, fear, or lack of confidence. 

As someone who gravitates towards stability, I also push myself to make changes. Trying something different is rarely easy or comfortable. The journey can be challenging, with hiccups along the path. And at times, especially with unplanned change, we can wonder, “Why is this happening to me?”

Change is often accompanied by choppy waters and unexpected obstacles. What if there were a way to navigate with less stress and more grace? What difference can a shift in perspective make?

I heard something so powerful during a mindfulness meditation that I have to share it with you. Meditation teacher Bethany Auriel-Hagan offered a perspective that can help you navigate all types of change (desired or unplanned) with more ease. She said, “Change is happening for you, in favor of you, and doesn’t that change everything?”

“Change is happening for you, in favor of you, and doesn’t that change everything?”

— Bethany Auriel-Hagen

Let’s unpack that. Bethany offers that instead of change happening to you, it’s happening for you. The implication is change brings lessons and growth. The next time you struggle with change, what if you shift your perspective to this growth mindset? How would it alter your experience and attitude?

Consider a change you are in the midst of right now. Are you driving this change? Or, is it unplanned and possibly have no control over? Does reframing it shift your thinking? Can you see the benefit or lesson? Are there growth possibilities?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

As the cold freeze of winter chases the second month of this New Year, are you actively pursuing the changes you want to make in your life? Or, are you in the research and planning phase? Maybe change is the farthest thing from your mind. I’ve noticed during my latest conversations how people are at different ‘change’ points. Some have committed to specific changes, others are pondering change, and some want no change. Where are you right now on the change spectrum?

Recently I discovered three inspiring ideas. I considered them concerning these ‘change’ conversations. Especially if you are in the midst of change or trying to decide what changes you want to pursue, one of these concepts could help you clarify your direction or encourage a perspective shift. 

3 New Trends Will Inspire You to Make Remarkable Changes

1. The Big Quit

Life has changed in numerous ways. The last two-plus years of the global pandemic affected how we live, think and respond. The pandemic has influenced “the great resignation” or “the big quit,” where millions of employees from all industries are leaving their companies in droves. They no longer want to continue as they had, which was not working for them. Instead, they’ve gone for more significant opportunities, higher pay, and better scheduling flexibility. Enough was enough.

How does “the big quit” relate to you? Use this mantra to ask questions to encourage change in your life.

• What are you currently doing that is not serving you well?

• What do you need to “quit?”

• Is your home environment cluttered and draining your physical and emotional energy?

• Do you have ineffective systems that don’t support who you are and what you’re doing?

• Which unhelpful habits are preventing you from living your best life? 

• What do you want to stop doing that no longer works for you?

• What do you want to “quit” to transform your life?

2. Resilience Hubs

According to Google, the word used most to describe 2021 was “exhausting.” It’s no surprise since we’ve had to navigate the pandemic for another year. We’ve experienced loss, working differently, and shifting COVID protocols. We’ve had to balance work and family life with continually changing rules and a mutating virus (now Omicron BA.2). And as if this weren’t enough, we’ve experienced political unrest, inflation, and unprecedented uncertainty. I’m exhausted just thinking about all of this. What is the antidote to fatigue?

Recently, I heard about “Resilience Hubs.” These are trusted physical spaces, typically located in urban areas, established to support communities during regular times and disasters. With local government and residents as their leaders, these hubs have better communication and can more easily pivot to provide the resources the community and its members need to thrive.

As you pursue the changes you want for this year, consider creating your own personal resilience hub. What do you need to replenish your reserves after the exhaustion from the last few years? My resilience hub includes:

• Meditating daily

• Walking in nature

• Doing yoga

• Practicing mindfulness

• Spending time with friends and family

• Getting enough sleep

• Letting go of things that drain my energy

What will you include in your resilience hub?

“Which unhelpful habits are preventing you from living your best life?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. The Magic Question

Zoe Chance, Yale University professor and author of Influence Is Your Superpower, was interviewed on NPR this month. During the conversation, I was especially intrigued when host Leila Fadel asked her to elaborate on a section in her book about the magic question. Magic question? I couldn’t wait to hear what it was. Are you thinking the same thing?

The magic question: What would it take?

As Zoe explains, “The magic question is magic because…it’s respectful…you get creative and surprising answers that you would never have expected. And…when they tell you, here’s the roadmap to success, they are implicitly committing to supporting that outcome.”

Change is hard. Often it’s a challenge because we get in our own way with excuses, doubt, or fear. But if we activate some magic, in the form of this magic question, what becomes possible? As you navigate your path of change, ask, what would it take to:

• have an organized, decluttered home?

• have a workspace that helped me focus and supported my needs?

• have time to work and relax?

• have  . . . ?

I hope that with some new tools or phrases at the ready, you will be inspired to pursue the change you desire. Did one of these ideas resonate with you? Did you discover something today to help? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

As always, if you want help on your change path, I’m an email or phone call away. Reach out at any time to schedule your virtual organizing session. Find me at linda@ohsoorganized.com or 914-271-5673. I’m ready to help facilitate the change you desire.

Have you noticed how much effort and energy it takes to engage in a fresh start? When our resources are depleted, it can be challenging to do basic things like eat, get dressed, or have a conversation. New beginnings can feel unattainable when our reserves are low and our thoughts are cloudy. It can feel like we are running in circles or following paths that lead nowhere.

Even in this depleted state, we can feel compelled to keep working beyond exhaustion. However, consider the value and necessity of downtime. Our minds need breaks to process what we’ve learned, let issues surface, self-reflect, and restore energy. Yet so often, we create barriers to taking breaks. I’ve heard this and done it myself. Do these sound familiar?

• “I don’t have time.”

• “I won’t reach my deadline.”

• “I’m almost done.”

• “I don’t deserve a break.”

• “If I don’t finish now, I’ll never complete this.”

These are thought distortions, often inaccurate beliefs with a negative bias developed over time.

What happens when you reframe your perspective? Consider these ideas instead:

• “If I take a break now, I’ll be more productive.”

• “If I take a short break, I’ll return refreshed and more energetic.”

• “This break is a form of self-care.”

• “This break makes me stronger, not weaker.”

• “There is value in a pause.”

• “I deserve a moment of rest.”

Here’s the big reveal . . .

1. We identified objections (aka thought distortions) for taking a break. 

2. We reviewed helpful perspective reframes.

3. You’re all set. Go take a “do nothing” break for five minutes. Yes. You deserve it!

“Consider the value and necessity of downtime.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

We can move forward and get a fresh start at any time. To get there, sometimes the best way to do that is to take a break first. Get some fresh air, close your eyes for a few minutes, do a quick meditation, lie down, or slowly sip a cup of hot tea. Yes. You do deserve a moment to rest. You will be recharged and ready to fully engage in your fresh start when you return.

Is taking a break challenging for you? What helps you recharge? How do you approach a fresh start? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.