There are times when life goes sideways. The unthinkable happens, and you feel you have no control over anything. Your mood is dark, and hope is barely accessible. Cognitively, you understand there are no guarantees in life and that chaos is present. Yet, how do you cope? What can you do when nothing makes sense, and things feel out of control?

I don’t pretend to have the answers or know what you’re experiencing. I’m navigating this challenging time, too. Yet, I have a few strategies that are helping me, which might be helpful to you.

Instead of focusing on the areas you have no control over, shift your attention. Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.

5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

1. Supercharge Your Self-Care

Take care of yourself. During stressful times, you might ignore the basics. However, doing that makes you feel worse and less able to cope with challenges.

Recommit to self-care basics. Get enough sleep, hydrate, eat nutritiously, and move your body. Walking in nature has additional mood-boosting benefits.

Beyond essential self-care, consider getting a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Or how about taking a yoga, exercise, or meditation class?

Be kind to yourself and engage in intentional, mood-enhancing activities within your control.

“Recommit to self-care basics.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 2. Engage With Your Community

You might want to retreat when feeling out of sorts. However, I encourage you to do the opposite. Reach out to those who are also feeling ‘it.’ You’re not alone.

Your friends and family may be struggling, too. Connect with your loved ones. Pool your strengths while offering and receiving support.

3. Curate the Input

Scrolling social media, listening to the news, and fueling the fire may not be the healthiest choice. Cut yourself off (even if temporarily) when the external input you’re allowing adds to those out-of-control feelings.

Just as I encouraged you to eat nutritious foods to nourish your body, do something similar for your mind. Curate the input to minimize anxiety-producing thoughts and maximize ones with a more positive effect.

This could be a great time to read that new book or your favorite magazine from cover to cover. Or maybe you prefer to watch a comedy show or movie.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the outside world forever, but for this day, while building your resilience, choose to disengage with stress-inducing news. Control the input.

“Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Make Something

There is a gift in making something from nothing. What kind of something? Maybe you like to bake, write blog posts or in journals, take photographs, write poetry, or knit scarves. Perhaps you want to paint, write music, do a craft project, or create fancy cocktails.

Take control of a joy-inducing physical activity and make something. Enjoy the process and the result.

I’ve already journaled and worked on this post. Guess what else I did? I baked (and ate) some Almond Butter Chocolate Chip cookies. Fortunately, these cookies are not only delicious but also nutritious. I just have to remember to eat them in moderation. Wish me luck.

5. Declutter Your Space

Physical disorganization and chaos in your environment can affect how you feel and function. The disarray adds to a feeling of lack of control. You don’t know where things are or have the mind space to focus.

There is mood-boosting power in decluttering and organizing. The act of doing, making a change, and then experiencing the benefits of that shift is palpable.

You can’t control everything, but you can improve your corner of the world (or desk).

Human Coping Skills

Remember, you are resilient, and you have people to lean on. To help navigate challenging times, exert control in tiny yet significant ways. This won’t change everything, but it will help to calm and ground you. What coping strategies do you use when life feels chaotic?

If you need help decluttering, organizing, planning, or grounding, I’m here for you. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

Have you noticed how much effort and energy it takes to engage in a fresh start? When our resources are depleted, it can be challenging to do basic things like eat, get dressed, or have a conversation. New beginnings can feel unattainable when our reserves are low and our thoughts are cloudy. It can feel like we are running in circles or following paths that lead nowhere.

Even in this depleted state, we can feel compelled to keep working beyond exhaustion. However, consider the value and necessity of downtime. Our minds need breaks to process what we’ve learned, let issues surface, self-reflect, and restore energy. Yet so often, we create barriers to taking breaks. I’ve heard this and done it myself. Do these sound familiar?

• “I don’t have time.”

• “I won’t reach my deadline.”

• “I’m almost done.”

• “I don’t deserve a break.”

• “If I don’t finish now, I’ll never complete this.”

These are thought distortions, often inaccurate beliefs with a negative bias developed over time.

What happens when you reframe your perspective? Consider these ideas instead:

• “If I take a break now, I’ll be more productive.”

• “If I take a short break, I’ll return refreshed and more energetic.”

• “This break is a form of self-care.”

• “This break makes me stronger, not weaker.”

• “There is value in a pause.”

• “I deserve a moment of rest.”

Here’s the big reveal . . .

1. We identified objections (aka thought distortions) for taking a break. 

2. We reviewed helpful perspective reframes.

3. You’re all set. Go take a “do nothing” break for five minutes. Yes. You deserve it!

“Consider the value and necessity of downtime.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

We can move forward and get a fresh start at any time. To get there, sometimes the best way to do that is to take a break first. Get some fresh air, close your eyes for a few minutes, do a quick meditation, lie down, or slowly sip a cup of hot tea. Yes. You do deserve a moment to rest. You will be recharged and ready to fully engage in your fresh start when you return.

Is taking a break challenging for you? What helps you recharge? How do you approach a fresh start? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Mindfulness practice is visible in several ways. There is the formal practice of mindfulness meditation and the informal practice of living mindfully. I engage in both daily, but not 100% of the time. Practicing mindfulness is being in the present moment with awareness of what you’re doing, feeling, or sensing without judgment. That can include focusing on the breath moving in and out of your body, returning your keys to their designated ‘home,’ noticing the leaves turning bright red as the season shifts, or feeling the tightness in your belly as you return to the office after working from home for the past 18 months. The body and mind constantly give us cues and opportunities to practice mindfulness and bring us back to the present moment.

Recently I found mindfulness cues and inspiration from an unlikely source- my cordless phone. Yes. I still have a landline. The messages displayed on the front of the telephone describe its status. While they serve a specific purpose in letting me know what my phone is doing, the words triggered ideas connected to mindfulness practices. As you continue reading, notice which cues and concepts resonate with you.

4 Mindfulness Cues I Discovered on My Phone

1. “Fully charged”

What does it mean to be “fully charged?” Are you ready for your day? Are you focused, aware, and living in this moment? In a mindfulness context, consider this as a reminder to be present. Be like that red “You Are Here” marker on a map. You are not ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. Your feet are firmly planted on the ground and you are here now. You are available and present.

2. “Missed call”

I mentioned earlier how I engage in daily mindfulness practice, but not 100% of the time. A “missed call” indicates you weren’t available when someone reached out. The person chose not to leave a message. Does that sound familiar? I equate the “missed call” to how our mind tends to wander, which is normal. Being aware when you’ve strayed brings you back to the present moment to engage more fully in your life. A mindful presence will improve your relationships, work, and pursuits.

“A mindful presence will improve your relationships, work, and pursuits.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. “Voice message”

Unlike the missed call, which has no message attached, the “voice message” includes information requiring a response or action. Considering mindfulness, what words do you tell yourself? Are they uplifting or self-deprecating? Is it time to record a new message? Use the “voice message” cue as a mindfulness check-in and a way to support your best self.

4. “Charging”

When we’re distracted, over-extended, and overwhelmed, it’s easy to skip the basics. We’re so entrenched with doing that we forget about our needs. In this stressed state, it’s more challenging to incorporate mindfulness. We eliminate the importance of renewal or “charging.” Our electronics need to be juiced up, or they stop working. Our minds and bodies need rejuvenation, too, or we’ll cease to function well. Let the “charging” cue be your self-care reminder. What helps you refocus and relax? For me, sleep is essential. But I also like to journal, meditate, do yoga, read, sit in the sun, be or talk with loved ones, watch movies, and walk by the water and woods. What will you include in your mindfulness charging station?

Just like my phone, many of our devices display messages. Usually, we take them at face value, which is how they were designed to function. But it’s fun to find inspiration and extend their meaning to create more mindfulness in our lives. Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.