Posts tagged boundaries
3 Time Management Strategies That Will Make Your Life More Happy

When you think about how you manage time, do you consider the “happy” factor? It’s a given that you have 24 hours each day. How you use and feel about that time is where life gets interesting. With some minor tweaks, you can enhance the quality of your life by shifting your perspective and actions.

Happiness is not always considered when it comes to time management, yet it’s a powerful element to integrate.

Before I share three helpful time management strategies, let’s look at some common phrases to describe time and how you experience it.

Common Time Phrases

This first list of expressions reflects stress, frustration, and anxiety about the limitations and passage of time. Some common sayings are:

  • Running late

  • Behind schedule

  • On the clock

  • Not enough hours in the day

  • Time waits for no one

  • Time is of the essence

  • Lost time

  • Pressed for time

  • Time-sensitive

  • Killing time

  • Wasting time

  • Running out of time

  • Lost track of time

  • Living on borrowed time

  • Out of time

This second list of phrases describes positive feelings about time, highlighting enjoyment, appreciation, and making the most of every moment. These expressions include:

Which phrases resonate most with you? Do you often experience stressful time-related situations, as reflected in the first list? Are more of your time-related encounters positive, like the phrases on the second list? Or are your encounters with and relationship to time somewhere between the extremes?

 

3 Time Management Strategies for a Happier Life

The time strategies described below can increase your happiness wherever you are in your relationship with time.

1. Happier Boundaries

What happens when you have few or no boundaries? Without boundaries, everyone else’s priorities come first. And you know what that means? Yours come last, if at all. You end up saying “yes” to things you wish you said “no” to. As a result, you might feel resentful, angry, frustrated, or annoyed.

Learning to set boundaries is a core time management skill. I continually work on boundary-setting because I didn’t understand that skill growing up. On the contrary, I learned how NOT to set boundaries. But I digress.

My insightful friend, colleague, and Professional Organizer Julie Bestry always shares excellent resources on her Paper Doll blog. She also has a great sense of humor. Her recent post, “52 Ways to Say NO to a Request So You Can Say YES to Your Priorities,” includes fabulous boundary-setting strategies.

To illustrate one of Julie’s points, she shares a 30-second YouTube clip from the TV show Friends. In the segment, Joey asks Phoebe if she wants to help assemble Ross’s furniture. Phoebe matter-of-factly says, “I wish I could, but I don’t want to.” Wow! What a clear (and hilarious) example of setting boundaries and saying no.

While Phoebe’s response to Joey’s request might not work for you, the idea behind it is worth considering. There are many ways to set boundaries, and learning to say no when you want to (whatever the reason) is essential. Knowing that skill lets you focus on your top priorities and what matters most.   

Learning to set boundaries is a core time management skill.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

2. Happier Activation

Now that you excel at boundary setting (yes, you!), your attention can focus on your most important people, projects, and tasks. However, while you cleared your schedule and said no to several requests, you’re having difficulty beginning your work.

The project you want to do, you can’t make progress on. You might need to plan, research, enlist help, gather resources, or take other actions. You’re thinking about how much time it will take to finish. Feelings of overwhelm are taking over. It all feels too big. How are you going to complete this or get started?

Let’s say it. You can’t do it all at once, so don’t expect that you will. Instead, let small time blocks be your ‘activation’ friend. Merge the concept of small blocks of time with an actual timer, and you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.

Activation Strategy:

  • Review your calendar

  • Select a day that has availability

  • Select a small amount of time, such as 10, 20, or 30 minutes you commit to your project

  • Set the timer for those minutes

  • Work until the buzzer dings

  • Stop working

  • Check on how you’re doing – Are you done for the day? If so, schedule another day to repeat the process. Or do you want to work for another ‘x’ number of minutes? If so, reset your timer now to continue working. When the buzzer dings, repeat the last two steps.

During the past month, I’ve been preparing my latest workshop, How to Let That Sh*t Go. The small blocks of time strategy helped me progress and prepare to lead the workshop on June 6th. If you or someone you know wants to learn more or register, click here: https://www.ohsoorganized.com/workshops.

You will feel happier attending to what’s most important and meaningful. However, progress will not happen without the ability to activate. When you use small blocks of time effectively, you’ll handle things high on your agenda.

Let small time blocks be your ‘activation’ friend.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 3. Happier Connections

Pausing in your day to savor one of life’s simple pleasures is an excellent time management strategy to enhance your happiness. If you are constantly on the go, consider integrating “Fika,” a Swedish practice.

Fika embodies the Swedish values of work-life balance, social interaction, and relaxation. Practicing Fika involves taking a short break, typically in the afternoon. People slow down, socialize, and build relationships. The break often includes coffee or another beverage and a small treat like pastries, cookies, or sandwiches.

The other day, I tried a variation of this with my husband. We skipped the beverage part and visited our local store, The Blue Pig. We sat, talked, and ate espresso chip ice cream cones with chocolate sprinkles. It was time well spent.

Which time management strategies bring you the most happiness? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you feel time-challenged, reach out to Linda, me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. A life focused on what matters most is possible, especially with support.

 
How to Joyfully Grow and Thrive When Life Feels Like Complete Chaos

When the world within and around you is drenched in chaos, how can you thrive? Humans are complicated beings. We can simultaneously hold profoundly opposite ideas, emotions, and thoughts. We can experience love and safety when wrapped in our loved one’s embrace. We can also experience intense pain when we hear news about wars, hate, displacement, and heartache. The hard stuff can weigh so heavily on you that it can feel impossible to thrive. You might even feel guilty about experiencing joy when there is so much suffering.

Several years ago, I listened to a conversation about opening and cultivating the human heart with Frank Ostaseki, co-founder of The Zen Hospice Project, and Roshi Joan Halifax, Ph.D., Buddhist teacher and Founder of Upaya Zen Center. One of the ideas that resonated with me then and even more now is that hope is essential, especially in a “time of radical uncertainty.” Hope is not about “sappy positivity,” bypassing the truth of suffering, or thinking that everything will be OK.

 

Thoughts About Hope

During the conversation, Ostaseki and Halifax shared their perspectives about hope:

  • Hope helps us go beyond the rational.

  • Hope can be the flip side of fear.

  • Hope is not based on optimism.

  • Hope is a surprise. It’s light and buoyant and not about a particular outcome.

  • Hope reflects an understanding that what we do matters, even though we don’t know how, why, who it will touch, or what will unfold from our actions.

  • Hope is resistant to futility.

  • Hope resides in resourcefulness.

  • Hope speaks to possibilities.

While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

31 Ways to Thrive and Feel Joyful During Chaotic Times

Having hope contributes to being able to thrive. Without it, we give up. Take an active role in cultivating hope. Nourish yourself and others, and create a solid base to grow from. During chaotic times, there are so many things that seem futile. Instead, focus on engaging in simple actions or observations in your control. Hope will grow from there. Consider:

  • Watching the fall leaves gently float to the ground

  • Taking a walk along the river with a good friend

  • Getting a good night’s sleep

  • Eating a nutritious and delicious meal

  • Feeling the warm sun on your face

  • Hugging your loved ones

  • Reading or listening to uplifting books, articles, and podcasts

  • Planning something you will look forward to doing

  • Taking a road trip, even a local one

  • Brewing and slowly sipping a hot cup of tea

  • Curling up on the sofa, wrapped in your favorite soft, cozy blanket

  • Learning something new

  • Listening to your favorite music

  • Practicing mindfulness meditation

  • Organizing that one room that is ready to be tamed

  • Helping something to grow

  • Focusing on the inhale and exhale of your breath

  • Making something with your hands

  • Pausing in the middle of your day to regroup and reset

  • Listening to the sounds of laughter

  • Laughing

  • Writing in your journal

  • Smiling at a stranger

  • Having a ‘do nothing’ day

  • Checking in by phone, email, text, or in person on your loved ones

  • Doing something outside of your comfort zone

  • Helping a client set boundaries, establish priorities, and get unstuck

  • Noting what you are grateful for

  • Offering compassion and kindness to someone you do or don’t know

  • Refusing to give up

  • Listening to your intuition


Life is a mixture of joy, pain, and everything in between. As humans, we know this is true. Yet even so, it can be challenging to navigate the sadness when your life and the world feel so chaotic and unhinged. While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled. You never know how your actions or words will uplift someone else. Be gentle with yourself and others. Nourish your being to have the energy to extend more kindness and compassion to yourself and others.

What helps you thrive during challenging times? What brings you hope? How do you make your ‘corner’ better? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

 
Here Are Today's Most Interesting and Best Possibility Discoveries - v42

This is the newest release (v42) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature, with my latest finds that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. These unique, inspiring, possibility discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are a passionate, generous, and engaged group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

 


What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Possibility Discoveries

1. Interesting Workshop – Mindful Organizing Possibilities

Are you tired of feeling disorganized and overwhelmed by the clutter in your life? If you answered “yes,”you’re not alone. Various studies suggest a significant connection between cluttered living spaces and feelings of depression, fatigue, stress, anxiety, or cognitive overload. But there’s good news - help is here.

If you are ready to see what’s possible, join me, Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™, Professional Organizer, for an engaging, transformative workshop – 7 Easy Ways to Practice Mindful Organizing: Discovering a Gentle Path Forward, on Thursday, October 19th, from 7:00-8:00pm Eastern. Together, we’ll delve into the world of mindful organizing and uncover the secrets of seven powerful organizing practices that have the potential to change your life.

During this one-hour Zoom workshop, you’ll come away with at least one practical strategy you can immediately implement to create a positive shift in your daily routine. Reserve your spot and register now!

 

 

2. Interesting Research – Better Sleep Possibilities

There is a lot of research about the benefits of getting quality sleep (between seven to eight hours a night) and the implications of chronic lack of sleep. Insufficient sleep can cause premature aging and health problems, including high blood pressure, diabetes, depression, stroke, obesity, and heart disease. During a good night’s sleep, the body heals itself while improving cellular and tissue health, cognitive function, immunity, and energy levels.

Neil Paulvin, a longevity and regenerative medicine doctor, helps patients improve extrinsic aging through better lifestyle choices such as management of alcohol consumption, smoking, diet, exercise, stress, and sleep. He attributes the number one cause of aging faster to inadequate sleep. His suggestions for improved sleep include having a consistent sleep schedule, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, and making your bedroom a sanctuary.

In the article, “Why Are You So Tired? Your Sleep Schedule Needs a Reset,” Dr. M. Safwan Badr, professor and chair of the internal medicine department at Wayne State University, suggests the “3-2-1 rule.” He says to stop:

  • eating three hours before bedtime

  • working two hours before bedtime

  • using electronics one hour before bedtime.

Dr. Emerson M. Wickwire, professor and head of sleep medicine at the University of Maryland School of Medicine, says that clearing your bedroom of physical clutter can also improve the quality of your sleep.

What would be possible if you started your day refreshed after a great night’s sleep?

Shifting your perspective from a fixed to a growth mindset will open up possibilities.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

3. Interesting Read – Boundary-Creating Possibilities

Do you feel pulled in multiple directions, overwhelmed by choices, or have difficulty moving forward? Do you find it challenging to set boundaries? When that happens, your possibilities perspective is inaccessible. My friend, Kara Cutruzzula, who recently interviewed me on her fabulous “Do It Today” podcast, has an excellent solution for you.


Hot off the press, her new Do It (or Don’t): A Boundary-Creating Journal helps you create and maintain clear boundaries, learn how to say “no,” and release those obligations and projects that feel oppressive. You will feel encouraged to write, clarify your thoughts, and flourish while appreciating Kara’s gentle support as she shares her wisdom with you. She says, “Our time is limited. Do you want to spend yours in a clear and intentional way?” If you do, learn more about her journal here: Do It (or Don’t).

 

 



4. Interesting Product – List-Making Possibilities

Do you have many tiny scraps of paper, partially filled notebooks, and random notes scribbled on documents? Are these calls, errands, purchases, and email reminders cluttering your desk, bags, and other surfaces? Are those working for you? If not, create better possibilities and outcomes with this terrific list-making tool.

My inventive frolleagues, Diana Quintana and Jonda Beattie, created My List Simplified, an 8-1/2” x 11” paper spiral-bound organization journal. It will help you easily capture your lists, plans, ideas, tasks, and appointments. It’s undated, so you can organize the journal by the day, week, or an extended period. For further details, click here: My List Simplified.

 

 


5. Interesting Thought – Positive Possibilities


Is your internal dialogue working for or against you? Do you focus on the negative? Are you consumed by what could go wrong or think in terms of what you can’t do? We’ve all been there. What happens when you reframe negativity with a simple, powerful phrase? Instead of thinking, “I can’t do this,” ask, “Why not?” How will that change your outlook and outcomes? Shifting your perspective from a fixed to a growth mindset will open up possibilities.

Do you have an interesting possibility-related discovery? Which of these resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
7 Ways to Joyfully Enlist Help Making Decisions When You're Really Stuck

One of the most common reasons my clients get stuck is being unsure about making decisions. A lack of confidence in decision-making might only affect specific areas. For example, they have no issue deciding which groceries to purchase or which social activities to attend. However, the decision-making challenge can surface when choosing how many black pants to let go of or where to begin organizing their home. It can feel like overwhelm, paralysis, or stress. This is an excellent time to reach out for help. There is no reason to remain in Stuckland.

There is another aspect to making decisions. Often, we’re on the fence about what to do. We have a few ideas but aren’t 100% sure which way to go. This is another terrific reason to enlist help. Use a decision-making buddy to help discuss options, weigh the pros and cons, or boost your confidence in making a choice.

 

7 Ways to Enlist Help Making Decisions

10 10 10 Rule

Before you make a decision, ask three questions:

  • 10 minutes from now, how will I feel about this decision?

  • 10 months from now, how will I feel about this decision?

  • 10 years from now, how will I feel about this decision?

 

40/70 Rule

Former Secretary of State Colin Powell used this approach when making a quick decision. He would aim not to decide with less than 40% of the information needed, then act when he had close to 70% of the data.

 

80/20 Rule

Known as the Pareto Principle, this rule says that 80% of the outcomes (or outputs) result from 20% of all causes (or inputs) for any event. We often use this in the organizing world. For example, we only wear 20% of our clothes or refer to 20% of the papers we file. With that recognition, opting to let go will be easier.

 

3 Elements of Decision-Making

  • ClarifyIdentify the decision to make or problem to solve.

  • Consider – Think about the options and the positive and negative consequences of each choice.

  • Choose – Choose the best choice.

 

When all else fails, flip a coin.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Golden Rules of Decision-Making

Make decisions when you’re . . .

  • not in pain and when your body feels strong

  • feeling loved and supported

  • feeling you are enough


Coin Flip

When all else fails, flip a coin. Heads you let ‘it’ go, tails you keep ‘it.” Then pay attention to how you react. Let your intuition guide you. Do the opposite of the coin toss result if the option doesn’t sit right in your gut.

 

Virtual Organizing

Decision-making is integral to all virtual organizing sessions with my clients. I provide support by:

  • Discussing the options

  • Holding space to think through a choice without feeling pressured

  • Setting boundaries around the decision

  • Reviewing pros and cons

  • Encouraging curiosity and experimentation

  • Empowering agency to make decisions

  • Focusing on progress, not perfection

 

These are just a few ways to boost your decision-making skills. What helps you get unstuck so you can make a decision? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Contact me, Linda, if you are stuck and need help and guidance to make decisions. Call at 914-271-5673, email linda@ohsoorganized.com, or click here. I’m here for you.