As humans, there is something so enticing about becoming our best self and flourishing. We can accomplish this when we live using our top strengths. Do you know what yours are? If not, take the VIA Survey of Character Strengths to discover them. A few weeks ago, I attended ICD’s virtual conference and wrote about Dr. Ryan Niemiec’s inspiring session where he talked about this topic.

Some of the things I enjoy about blogging are writing and sharing ideas. However, my favorite part is reading and responding to your comments. I find it fascinating which concepts resonate with you, the information you share, and the emerging ideas. In the ICD conference post, there was a comment by my friend and colleague, Stacey Agin Murray, that I loved. She said in response to the discussion about living your strengths, “No one should ask a fish to climb a tree.”

Her idea is so clear. A fish can be their fantastic self in the water, but not so much if they had to scale a tree. It begs the question. What activities make you feel like your best self? Can you engage in doing more of those? Can you stop doing those things that drain you?

“No one should ask a fish to climb a tree.”

— Stacey Agin Murray

In Mindful magazine, I came across a related idea in Misty Pratt’s article, “How We Flourish.” The word flourish caught my attention because it’s such an uplifting word and way of being. Misty wrote,

“We know that ‘flourishing’ (defined as a combination of physical, emotional, and mental health) is a state of mind where life feels good. Flourishing is not about perfection or being happy all the time, but a recognition that when we have purpose, meaning, and connection in our lives, getting out of bed every morning is easier.”

“We know that ‘flourishing’ . . . is a state of mind where life feels good.”

— Misty Pratt

These two concepts- using your strengths and flourishing are interconnected. They are full of hope and speak to what’s possible for you.

As we begin a new month and are about to finish the year, how can you adjust how you live, what you’re doing, and who you’re engaging with to create your best life? What are your thoughts about strengths and flourishing? I look forward to hearing your ideas. I invite you to join the conversation.

Professional development and education are some of my top priorities. I continually invest in learning to understand, nourish my curiosity, grow, and better help people. This past week, I attended the Institute for Challenging Disorganization’s (ICD) conference, celebrating its 20th anniversary. I’m an ICD past president (2014-2016) and have been a member of this stellar educational association for 19 years.

Due to the pandemic, the conference was virtual. Using the Remo platform, people attended from eleven countries around the world. We had four days of workshops presented by leading experts with networking time with colleagues new and old. Possibilities, hope, compassion, and a zest for learning and sharing permeated the sessions and conversations.

In my effort to assimilate a small portion of what I discovered, I distilled ideas from 11 sessions and 20 plus pages of my notes to share with you. I couldn't include everything, so I focused on sharing incredibly inspiring concepts full of possibilities. 

Favorite New IDEAS to Empower Possibilities

1. Power of Reframing

Our first speaker was Dr. Edward (Ned) Hallowell, an expert on ADHD, founder of Hallowell ADHD Centers, podcast host, and author of 20 books, including his newest ADHD 2.0. His presentation was so uplifting and poignant. I became emotional several times. He focused on the gifts accompanying ADHD, such as being creative, intuitive, curious, entrepreneurial, intelligent, and original. Dr. Hallowell has ADHD and has devoted his life to helping people with ADHD “develop a vision of greatness.” He believes that everyone is capable of more than they think they are, can combat negative self-talk, and develop good self-care hygiene.

He reminded us “what matters is the striving, not the doing or accomplishing.” The “victory is loving the game.” He spoke about the importance of connection and having supportive people to protect and believe in you. 

Hallowell shared the three defining hallmarks of ADHD, which are distractibility, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. He prefers focusing on the positive flipside- seeing distractibility as curiosity, impulsivity as creativity, and hyperactivity as energy. At 71, he said he was “happy to have a turbo pack on his back.”

When it comes to organizing and reaching his goals, he strives for “well enough organized.”

If you reframe your perspective, what is possible?

2. Living Your Strengths

As humans, we seek to understand ourselves and others. Dr. Ryan Niemiec, Education Director at the VIA Institute on Character, author of 10 books, and award-winning psychologist, shared that understanding your character strengths is essential for building your well-being, managing adversity, and increasing happiness. What would be possible if you lived using your strengths and appreciated the strengths of those around you?

In 2003, the VIA Survey of Character Strengths was created. The extensively researched survey emerged from the field of positive psychology. It focuses on 24 universally valued (cross-cultural) character strengths such as hope, curiosity, and gratitude. It has been taken by 16 million people and continues to be taken every 10 seconds. Click here for your free VIA assessment (it takes about 10 minutes) and discover your top signature strengths.

Niemiec made several key points: no strength is better than another, all 24 strengths matter, and they are in all of us. Your top strengths represent the positive parts of your personality, which can change over time. Our strengths reflect our identity, produce positive outcomes for ourselves and others, and contribute to the collective good.

I’ve taken the survey three times over the past ten years, and I’ve seen some shifts in my top five strengths. With the most recent survey, my top strengths are love, gratitude, perspective, appreciation of beauty & excellence, and humor.

I’d love to know more about you. After taking the survey, please share your top five strengths in the comments below if you feel comfortable doing so.

“What matters is the striving, not the doing or accomplishing.”

— Dr. Edward Hallowell

3. Designing Your Space

Andrea de Pavia, MA, architect, urban planner, author, professor, and founder of NeuroAU, shared her expertise and insights on NeuroArchitecture. This interdisciplinary field connects cognitive science, architecture, design, and urbanism, focusing on “the brain, behavior, and their interconnection with the physical environment.” De Pavia explained how our spaces affect our physiology, making changes in the brain and body. Her goal is to “make science-based choices to improve the environment” and not design solely based on creativity or aesthetics. 

With sensation transference, elements such as light and sound can affect how things taste, your perception of others, and your memories. Perceptual fluency relates to how easy or challenging it is to be in a particular space. In a “fluent space,” it will be easier to process and experience cognitive restoration. Our physical environment can affect stress levels and health. Lack of multisensory coherence can impair perception and attention, deplete mental resources, and impair decision-making. Imagine being in a cluttered space (whatever ‘cluttered’ means to you.) Notice how you feel. Are you calm, relaxed, anxious, or agitated? 

Our space can help or impair our cognitive restoration. De Pavia shared several ways to design and organize spaces to decrease stress and save mental resources, such as incorporating nature. Include pictures of nature, use natural light, add plants (real or not,) water features, and natural materials. This is known as biophilic design.

Don’t underestimate the importance of windows and natural light. Uncover the windows and position yourself closer or facing them. Seeing the sky (day or night) helps control our circadian rhythm, which affects our biological clock. It syncs our body with the environment and affects our energy during the day and quality of sleep at night. Natural light supports the production of serotonin, a hormone that stabilizes our mood, feelings of well-being, and happiness.

I often write about organizing homes and offices to support who you are and what you do. This science-backed research reinforces the importance of decluttering, creating calm spaces, and being in environments that allow us to restore, reset, and be productive. What would be possible for you as you imagine being in a cognitively supportive space?

Possibilities are all around as we look at ways to reframe our perspective, live using our top strengths, and create spaces that support our minds and bodies. So much is possible. Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

This past week, hundreds of professional organizers and productivity consultants from around the world gathered in Ft. Worth, Texas for the annual National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO) conference.  I’ve been in this industry for 26+ years, and while I haven’t gone to every meeting, I have attended many.  It’s always exciting to learn new things, keep a pulse on the industry, hang out face-to-face with wonderful colleagues, and make new friends. The learning sessions are terrific, yet it’s often the conversations between the courses that I enjoy most.

The essential education this year for me was around letting go. That theme and message continued to pop up in unexpected ways. The lessons I came away with are ones that I hope will be helpful for you too. After all, letting go can be quite challenging so adopting other strategies and perspectives can ease the process and our stress. My deepest gratitude to my NAPO, ICD and other colleagues for teaching, sharing, and exploring these letting go lessons with me.

7 Surprising Letting Go Lessons

1. You Thought You Had a Plan

When I travel, I like to organize and get my arrangements set ahead of time. While I can be spontaneous, I’m more of a planner. So months earlier I had arranged my hotel, flights, and ground transportation for the NAPO conference. At 5:50 am, and five minutes before I was leaving my house for the airport, I received a text from Southwest Air saying they had canceled my flight. After my initial shock and a few choice words, I took a deep breath and realized that Southwest makes it very easy to rebook your flight, so no need to panic. However, for some reason, all of Southwest’s trips for that day and the next four days were either canceled or sold out. I searched for a new flight on a different airline. Delta saved the day. Within 15 minutes I had booked a later trip. In turn, I arrived later than expected, but I did get to the conference.

Letting Go Lesson 1:

Let go of the plan and revise it when you need to.

2. Get Out Of Your Way

One of the first sessions I attended was about future thinking or foresight. The “Drivers of Change” brief generated by ASAE and available to NAPO members, delves into various trends that could have an influence on our business in the next ten to twenty years. We looked at some of the broad categories but spent most of our time discussing and brainstorming in small groups about specific topics that were especially relevant for our industry. While I found it fascinating, I also recognized how challenging it was to think that far ahead. As hard as it was to future think, putting my mind in that mode generated some exciting possibilities.

Letting Go Lesson 2:

Let go of difficult to open the door to possibilities. 

3. The Research Says

Another session I enjoyed was the one describing the survey the NAPO research committee conducted. The information was hot off the press and not ready to be fully shared. However, one stat was particularly fascinating and relevant to the work I do with my clients. When asked the people surveyed how they preferred to manage the belongings they no longer wanted, 75% of them preferred to donate the unwanted and 48% preferred to give them to friends or family.

Letting Go Lesson 3:

Letting go is easier when we give our belongings to people that will use and appreciate them.

4. Take A Walk On The Wild Side

I loved the quiet one-on-one conversations with my colleagues that often happened during meals, like one of the planned evening dinners I had. When we arrived at the restaurant, they told us it would be a 45-60 minute wait since we didn’t have a reservation. Waiting didn’t bother us because the Stockyards were a lively neighborhood to explore. We meandered down the block looking at stores, taking in the sights and sounds, and happening upon the Coliseum, which housed a 100-year old rodeo. My friend, Lynne Poulton got very excited. After some recon, which included meeting a rodeo Hall-of-Famer who encouraged us to get tickets, we skipped dinner and spent the evening watching cowboys wrangle, rope, and ride. As they say in Texas, “Wee-haw!”  It was unexpected, impromptu fun and an evening I’ll never forget.

Letting Go Lesson 4:

Let go of supposed to in favor of flexibility as you might miss out on something truly spectacular.

5. Perfection Alert

Professional organizer aka stand-up comedian, Janice Simon presented an excellent workshop about resiliency. I loved her premise that making regular deposits into your resiliency bank will better equip you to handle life’s storms. She also shared that when you are going through challenging times, it’s important to adjust your expectations. Ask questions like, “What really needs to be done?”  Or “What can be cut back?” A quote she shared from Donna Smallin resonated with me. Donna said, “Done is perfect.” 

Letting Go Lesson 5:

Let go of perfection, especially when done is good enough.

6. There Is Always Room To Grow

Sessions featured workshops that addressed the chronically disorganized population. One of these courses was the panel of colleagues Alison Lush, Diane Thompson, Vickie Dellaquila, Carrie Cooper, and Gayle Gruenberg, of ICD (Institute for Challenging Disorganization.) They shared poignant stories about their clients and the process they went through to help them. The stories were emotional, and at points brought tears to my eyes. The creativity, compassion, generosity, helping spirit, and knowledge that these colleagues embodied are inspiring. What struck me most was they all went through as much learning and change as their clients did. In the process of working with their clients, these organizers learned to let go of their expectations, experiment with alternate organizing strategies, and trust in their clients’ wisdom and resourcefulness. As they let go, their clients stepped forward.

Letting Go Lesson 6:

Let go of being the expert and make space for the wisdom of others to emerge.

7.  Lean In To That Scary Stuff

The last session I attended presented by Nettie Owens was an inspiring (and way too short) workshop about reinventing your business. One of the questions she asked was, “What are you holding onto that is no longer serving you?” She then had us write on an index card, “What do I need to let go of?” along with our response below. I wrote, “doubt.”  Then she asked us to tear up the card, which we obediently did. Once torn, she implored us to toss the pieces up in the air. Think confetti flying. Being the organizers that we were, this made us viscerally uncomfortable. We didn’t want to make a mess that someone had to clean up. Understanding our demographic, Nettie acknowledged our challenge and insisted that we do it anyway. After a short deliberation, I took the plunge and threw my pieces as high into the air as I could. What a liberating feeling! As I tossed the papers, I felt my doubt dispersing too.

Letting Go Lesson 7:

Let go of the stuff that’s holding you back.

As I continue to think about my time away, I know that more letting go lessons will surface. However, in the effort to follow Donna’s advice of “Done is perfect,” I’m going to wrap things up here. Did any of these letting go lessons resonate with you? Have you experienced a different letting go lesson? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

While fall won’t officially arrive for another few weeks, all signs point heavily to its unofficial start. School buses are once again visible, parents are adjusting to new schedules, and kids are toting new supplies and backpacks. The last few summer gatherings and BBQs have been enjoyed. For the northeasterners, some leaf color changes are beginning to appear. We’re in the midst of transition, which for most of us can feel uncomfortable.  We finally adjusted to summer and now everything is changing, yet again. This is the perfect time to do a success check-in. You might be wondering what is that? I’m glad you asked.

A success check-in is a way of revisiting past successes, appreciating and learning from any failures, and building upon those discoveries to reset for the next phase. You’ve heard this before that success breeds more success. Drawing on your positive experiences will be the fuel needed to help you navigate transitions more easily. 

The Success Check-in

Here ‘s the good news. The success review doesn’t have to be time consuming or formal. It can be fun! All that’s needed is your willingness to do a bit of thinking. Consider this like taking a walk down memory lane. I like to write thoughts down, but that’s not essential. Just thinking is valuable too. Another thing that might help jog your memory is to look at any photos you took over the summer. That helped me and had the added bonus of getting to relive some of those happy experiences again. Do what works for you. There are no rules here, but if it helps, here are a few questions you can use to get things going.

Think about  . . .

What did you do this summer?
What projects did you start?
What projects did you complete?
Where did you travel?
What new learning did you have?
Did you spend time with family or friends?
Did you have time for yourself?
What kind of self-care did you engage in?
What was your favorite day?
What made it significant?
Was there anything you noticed?
What failures did you have? 
What did you learn from them?

What Made Summer a Success?

I’ll admit that I loved this summer and that I’m not quite ready to say my goodbyes. After having an intense year, I appreciated the ease of this season.  For me, summer had a great mix of experiences. Some were solitary and others were spent enjoying and helping people.  I had time with family and friends, traveled, explored new places, hiked up a mountain, had a tag sale, spent time at the beach, dipped my toes in the Croton River, digitized our home movies, started some house projects, helped clients with their organizing projects and goals (virtually and in-person), completed a new webinar about change for the ICD (Institute for Challenging Disorganization) that I’ll be presenting in a few weeks. I ran out of time to kayak on the Hudson River, visit Playland, take more walks, and complete some home projects. The good news is that I get to reset my goals and plan for the fall.

Creating a new webinar about change for ICD's virtual conference was one of my summer projects. To learn more about it, check out this interview . . .

Exploring new places like Monhegan Island in Maine was one of the summer highlights

One of my favorite days was exploring Monhegan Island with my husband. I loved the beautiful landscapes and quiet, since there are no cars allowed on the island. It was such a peaceful place. When my mind gets busy, I think back to sitting on top of the cliffs overlooking the sea with only the sounds of the waves crashing, the gentle breeze blowing, and the seagulls squawking. 

With thoughts of summer successes on my mind, I’m ready now to embrace the new season of learning and adventure. I encourage you to do your success check-in. What was your favorite summer experience or moment? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!