On my recent walks this week, I noticed more leaves changing colors. The luminous sun embraced the intensely colored foliage and highlighted the shifts in the fall palette. Frequently, I paused to fully appreciate the beauty. I saw the brilliant warm reds, oranges, and yellows juxtaposed with the cooler greens. I felt the gentle, refreshing breeze on my face as I heard the rustling of the leaves above. During the later part of the holiday season, a commonly overheard phrase is “winter wonderland.” Today feels like a fall fantasy ripe with possibilities. Are you feeling motivated? Are you sensing a change? What is possible?

I look forward to the intimate monthly virtual gatherings led by my wonderful friend and incredible Life Coach, Yota Schneider. At the retreat, we meditate, journal, and share our thoughts. She selects a theme each time, and this month was The Season of Change. During the gathering, she told us about Chris Bianco, an “inspiring pizza man from the Bronx,” and his philosophy on life. He sees life as a “petri dish of possibilities.” What a concept and approach to living!

While we typically think of a petri dish in a scientific context where microorganism cultures are developed in a small shallow container, there is another definition. Something that fosters development or innovation can be a petri dish too. A petri dish of possibilities supports a growth mindset. You’re not a stuck, fixed being. You can stretch, create, change, and imagine.

Have you ever felt stuck? If so, you’re not alone. We all get stuck at times. There can be many reasons why or when that happens. Often our thoughts keep us fixated on a single idea, and we have difficulty changing the script. What if you integrated the “petri dish of possibilities” into your consciousness? Would that open up your thinking?

At times having too many options creates paralysis. When numerous choices make you feel stuck, the ‘petri dish’ phrase isn’t a great choice. However, in many situations, it is a useful concept to engage.

“Life is a petri dish of possibilities.”

— Chris Bianco

The phrases you repeat in your mind can change the trajectory of where you’re going. Are these affirmations helpful?

• I am moving forward.

• I am no longer stuck.

• I am making a choice.

• I am taking action.

• If my action isn’t effective, I will experiment with something else.

• I will embrace what’s possible.

• I see a petri dish of possibilities.

It’s fall. Change is all around. Are you thinking about what’s possible? Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Having an array of emotions is part of being human. There are no good or bad ones. However, at times, our strong emotions can make clear thoughts challenging. In fact, some emotions like anxiety, sadness, or fear can cause procrastination or completely zap our motivation.

When the amygdala, the primitive, emotional region of the brain, becomes the boss, it creates a cycle that activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight.) The good news is many self-help strategies are available to help switch your internal gears from fight or flight to the rest and digest, parasympathetic nervous system mode.

When calmer, you can more readily access the pre-frontal cortex, a part of the brain that helps with decision-making, organization, attention, planning, emotional regulation, and impulse control. In this more relaxed state, you can reset and access the motivation to move forward.

Recently, I attended a meeting with fellow Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She led a workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.) The four-step process is helpful when making behavioral changes. ACT encourages working towards a value rather than avoiding something. In other words, focus your energy on something positive you want to be or do instead of on something negative you wish to avoid.

The ACT process:

1. Identify a value. Who or what do I want to be?

2. Identify feelings. What “yucky” feelings get in the way?

3. Identify relief valves. When you feel these things, what behaviors occur?

4. Create a nourishment menu. What behaviors will feel helpful, sustainable, and give perspective when experiencing the “yucky” feelings?

Your nourishment menu is where self-help strategies thrive. For example, when feeling anxious, you might engage in negative self-talk, binge-watching, or eating sugar-heavy snacks. What if you acknowledged and noticed those feelings when you felt anxious and instead, engaged in more helpful behaviors from the nourishment menu? Below are some suggestions. I’d love to know which of these or other ones work best for you.

20 Self-Help Strategies - Nourishment Menu

• Journal

• Meditate

• Take a walk

• Change your setting

• Organize or clean

• Create boundaries

• Breathe slowly

• Get a massage

• Hug a loved one for at least 20 seconds

• Run or exercise

• Watch leaves flutter

• Light a scented candle

• Use humor

• Rest

• Read

• Pet your dog or cat

• Listen to or play music

• Take a shower or bath

• Help someone else

• Talk with a friend, family member, or professional

I had a recent anxiety-inducing experience when I inadvertently deleted the most current 45 days of emails from my inbox. After long calls with tech support at Apple and Carbonite, it became clear that the emails might be retrieved, but not without many more hours spent with tech support and possibly worse complications.

A tech hiccup is never convenient. My plans to accomplish a lot that day were derailed because of the anxiety inability to focus. At a point, I decided to let it go and not retrieve the emails. However, I was still anxious and not functioning well. My emotions were in high gear, and my brain was foggy. So what did I do?

“Your ‘nourishment menu’ is where self-help strategies thrive.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I grabbed my journal and wrote. As the inky pen glided along the smooth paper, my heart beat rapidly, and my stomach was in knots. I wrote about the ‘gone’ emails, my anxious feelings, the power they had to deactivate my motivation, the shift in my emotional state of feeling calmer as I wrote, and the choice to let this go and move on. I noticed my environment (birds chirping, trees swaying), took several deep breaths, and shifted gears to write about positive memories from the mini vacation we just had.

After journaling, I met a dear friend for a walk along the river. We talked, laughed, and I shared the email saga with her. Not knowing about the nourishment menu at the time, I realized after how I had used several of these strategies to calm my anxiety, let go, and reset.

What self-help strategies work for you when your strong emotions take over? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

It’s a transition time as we shift from spring to summer. While it’s officially not summer yet, school has ended or is about to. Graduation parties and celebrations are in full swing, vacation plans, and summer camp arrangements are happening, and many of us want a change of pace. Life is full. There are times when days fly by with one thing after the next. No breaks, just a continual tempo of go, go, going. Does that sound familiar?

I strike a reasonable balance between doing and not doing on most days. However, my strong internal motivation makes it challenging to feel OK with not achieving, accomplishing, or moving the newest project forward. I recognize the importance of rest. I’m not talking about sleep. We definitely need sleep to function well. The rest I’m referring to is a pause or break. Taking a short time away from your schedule can significantly improve your state of mind. Meditate, sit in the sun, listen to the fountain water flowing, or watch the grasses moving in the breeze. If you continually go without stopping, you’ll burn out. What’s the point of that? Is it time for a pause?

This transition period can cause overwhelm and stress from the demands of your to-do lists, commitments, and lack of time. I’m sharing a personal journal entry I wrote recently about the value of the pause. During a retreat led by my wonderful friend and colleague, Yota Schneider, she guided us in a group meditation and offered a prompt about “What does your ship need?” We did a ‘free write,’ reflecting on what came up during the quiet.

LINDA’S JOURNAL ENTRY

A few thoughts were prompted by these things- my ‘wander’ coffee mug, being on the water in a kyack without my life preserver, and the desire to float.

Leaving the port or landing, I headed up the river in the bright fuschia-colored kyack. Low to the water, I paddled upstream and noticed I had no life preserver. I always wear one, but not this time.

I kept paddling and then stopped to float. The sun warmed me as the gentle breeze created a beautiful counterbalance- keeping my skin at a ‘just right’ temperature.

I was there on the river as I floated, doing nothing, going nowhere in particular. Enjoying the being-ness of being. I thought of my ‘wander’ mug that I love sipping my morning coffee from on certain days. The cup isn’t picked on the highly scheduled days. On those days, it's likely the ‘be curious’ mug I choose. But on my float days, ‘wander’ is the cup of choice.

So as I drifted without paddling, feeling the warm sun and the gentle breeze, I knew deep within my soul that it was my desire, my intense desire not only to NOT do but to be completely content not doing or accomplishing or seeking.

It was a float day. It was a time of wander, a time to just be present as my kyack, this soothing vessel helped me journey on this much-needed pause.

“If you continually go without stopping, you’ll burn out.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Is it time for a break? What value would that have? What does a great pause feel like to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

We’re in the midst of the holiday season. Do you feel like a juggler in a circus? Between planning or attending gatherings, keeping your family fed, helping your kids or aging parents, and completing your work deadlines, your time is in high demand. Add to that, preparing for visitors coming and going, selecting and wrapping gifts, and making time for some self-care (yes, self-care…I’m talking to you) it’s a lot. Seriously. How many balls are you juggling at once? How do you navigate the many roles and responsibilities you have? There is a delicate nature to finding a doable work-life balance. Many of you will probably agree that the ‘right’ balance is a constantly moving target.

When my balance is off, I look carefully at my commitments and evaluate what change is needed. Have I said “yes” too often? Have I said “yes” to things that are nourishing and energizing? One of the best decisions and yeses I made a year ago was to Marcy Stoudt, CEO of Revel Coach and Founder of The Executive Mom Nest. This visionary Executive Coach and mother of three launched The Executive Mom Nest, or The Nest, as we affectionately call it. Marcy created a team of vetted Advisors from diverse yet complementary industries, including marketing, finance, design, wellness, life and career coaching, travel, and organization. The team supports, coaches, and mentors moms navigating career, family, and self. I’m thrilled that Marcy invited me to join her team as the Professional Organizer Advisor.

For a better understanding of work-life balance, I immediately thought about these insightful Nest Advisors and their collective wisdom. We meet regularly, and I always learn so much from them. I reached out to several colleagues, Marcy Stoudt, Neela Asaadi, Lucy Carlisle, Lana Kitcher, Petra Krebbs, Alison Nissen, and Becky Roth. I asked them- What is one strategy you use to restore your work-life balance?

Their responses are philosophical, practical, personal, and inspiring. My deepest gratitude goes out to them for sharing their hearts, experience, and honesty with us.

What is one strategy you use to restore your work-life balance?

1. Balance through Self-Care

"One constant that every single human being has is time, and we have the same amount of it. What we choose to do with it is our choice. The secret to any success story is moderation and living in harmony with yourself. If something doesn't go as planned, learn from it, don't judge it. If you indulge, enjoy it, and get back on track later! If you overworked yourself, give yourself a well-deserved rest. 

Strive to keep yourself grounded through fulfilling practices and rituals that fuel your soul. Morning rituals are personally my favorite way to set myself up for success, in addition to a delicious night's sleep to restore. Spend time investing in yourself. After all, it is the greatest gift you could give so you can show up as the best version of yourself for everyone around you."

Neela Asaadi – Lifestyle Designer, Holistic Health Coach, Creative & Brand Director

2. Balance through Less Negative Self-Talk

“I get control of my negative self-talk. I'm a busy working mom. I'm proud of what I do. But, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, it's rarely because I am doing too much. It is almost always due to my mental chatter obsessing over my lack of time. I lose motivation, focus, and clarity when I have negative thoughts. If you are seeking work/life balance, start with the root cause: negative self-talk. When you control your thoughts, you control your day.”

Marcy Stoudt – CEO of Revel Coach, Founder of The Executive Mom Nest

3. Balance through Work Satisfaction

“Find a job that you love. Your career doesn't have to be (and shouldn't be) constraining. If you hate what you do for work, it will inevitably seep into your personal life. When you find time for travel, self-care, or family time, work might be that dark cloud that stays over you even when you are trying to enjoy yourself. Having a job that I am so passionate about has brought me work-life balance in unexpected ways. When I unplug, I feel deserving, and when I get back to work, I feel excited and invigorated.”

Lucy Carlisle – Marketing

“When life is humming along beautifully, we rarely think about balance.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

4. Balance through Reflection

“When I think of balance, I envision two bowls dangling from a stick, delicately positioned to be even. Life doesn't work like that. Instead, I find harmony in my life through reflection, joy, and growth. If I dread an activity, I ask myself what purpose it serves. If it’s a class I know will help me professionally, I can look ahead to the end date and envision the success it will bring at a future date. If, however, it’s a toxic relationship with something such as junk food, I will replace the interactions with something that brings me joy, like giving myself a few extra minutes to read a novel.”

Alison Nissen, DTM – Story Coach, Blogger, Speaker

5. Balance through Healthy Boundaries

“When I think of work/life balance, I think of seasons. I don’t believe there is a perfect balance to life because some seasons require more work, and some require more of life. What has helped me feel restored in each season is applying healthy boundaries. No matter the season, I keep within boundaries that align with my values, purpose, and goals. Should a season push up against those boundaries, I can adjust accordingly. When we know who we are and where we are going, then there is peace no matter the season.”

Petra Krebbs – Strengths Strategist™, Jon Gordon Certified Speaker & Trainer, Certified Gallup Strengths Coach

6. Balance through Energy Management

“A major way to restore my work/life balance is to manage my energy each workweek. When I break down my goals/tasks weekly, it is achievable. For example, I view the week as a pizza pie (yum) and try to eat one slice daily, so by the end of each day, I feel energized and have accomplished my daily tasks. Sure, there are weeks I’m planning special events or need extra time to cross the task of the list. By checking in on my energy rhythm, I usually feel less drained. Are you eating your slice daily or the entire pizza pie by Wednesday? Check yourself daily to understand your energy as it will balance your career and life goals.”

Becky Roth, MSW, LMSW – Certified Professional Coach, Career Coach, Speaker

7. Balance through Frequent Assessment

“When I'm feeling frustrated about my day, I can tell that it's time for me to restore balance. Restoring balance is a practice and needs to be assessed regularly. I have a three-step process for bringing back balance and suggest making time for this routine at least once a quarter.

1) Meditate – First, I need to calm myself down and take a moment to breathe and clear my head.

2) Process – Second, I need to make space for myself and process what makes me feel frustrated or overwhelmed. This is a great opportunity to go to my favorite cafe with a notebook and journal on the question.

3) Review - Finally, I review my calendar. I reevaluate everything on my schedule - declining meetings or removing responsibilities that no longer serve me. It's also helpful to look ahead and block some time in the future for myself, knowing how overwhelmed I'm feeling now.”

Lana Kitcher – Productivity & Efficiency Coach

When life is humming along beautifully, we rarely think about balance. However, when things start going sideways, we notice. Awareness is essential for change. There are many ways to restore work-life balance. My colleagues shared their favorite strategies with you.

Which ideas resonate most? What helps you create a healthy work-life balance? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!