What Makes the Active Connection Between Happiness and Mindfulness?

Life encompasses an array of emotions. We experience joy, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, love, and many nuanced emotions. We can change our state of being by altering our actions, breath, or thoughts. Switching gears amid powerful emotions can be challenging. However, it’s possible. Bringing mindful awareness to what you’re feeling and doing is one path to get there. With that awareness, opportunities to experience more happiness will increase.

When you live in the land of ‘wishing,’ you’re focused on someday. While it’s essential to dream and future-think, this can detract from current experiences. You can miss opportunities for happiness and mindful moments if you’re too intent on what will be versus what is going on now.

I’m a quote collector. I have several favorites on my desk, including one from Walt Whitman. His thoughts beautifully weave a connection between happiness and mindfulness. He said, “Happiness, not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour.”

What does Whitman’s message encourage? It reminds me that happiness is always available to us. You don’t need to postpone joy for some future time when your project is complete, or goals are reached. It’s possible to experience happiness as part of your daily journey. Develop a mindful awareness of what is happening now and what senses you are noticing.

Happiness, not in another place but this place...not for another hour, but this hour.
— Walt Whitman

Which recent experiences made you happy? Here are a few of mine:

  • Seeing the bouquet of yellow-orange flowers in the purple vase

  • Feeling the cooler fall air on my skin

  • Smelling the pine-scented sachet in my dresser drawer

  • Eating a delicious frozen dark chocolate dipped banana pop

  • Hearing the sound of my husband’s voice on the other end of the phone

  • Picking fresh basil from my mini-garden for my salad

  • Walking along the Hudson River

  • Folding the clean laundry

  • Taking a yoga class

  • Sweeping the front path

  • Learning from Nest Advisor colleagues

  • Watching the birds enjoy the birdbath in our backyard

  • Engaging in deep conversations with my friends, family, clients, and colleagues

  • Creating images and a promo video for my upcoming clutter workshop

Tiny happiness moments are accessible and can be enhanced when you pause to savor them. What are you noticing? How do mindfulness and happiness show up in your life? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
What You Hopefully Won't Miss in Life When You Are Being Mindful?

The other day, I took an early evening walk along the Hudson River with my friend. Towards the end of our walk, the sun began to set and what I saw was incredible. The coolness of the light blue sky and deep blue water slowly shifted to warmer tones. As the round ball of sun lowered towards the horizon, its glow cast orange shimmers of light on the landscape. The visual change was magnificent. We sat on the rocks to take in the view.

If I had kept walking without looking or being mindful, I would have missed this spectacular moment. You might wonder, how is it possible to miss such a thing? It is.

You can walk but not notice what surrounds you. You can rush through your day getting stuff done but miss mindful moments of presence, joy, or calm. You can eat a meal but not savor the flavors and textures of your food. You can have a conversation but not listen to what the other person is saying. You can live in a cluttered environment but ignore how its heaviness is impacting you.


There are many ways not to be mindful. So often, we live on autopilot. We move from thing to thing without questioning, noticing, pausing, or enjoying. What becomes possible when we bring more mindfulness into our lives? A walk in nature with a friend becomes an opportunity to engage in a wonderful conversation while appreciating the changing scenery. A mindful meal creates a chance to slow down enough to taste the delicious flavors.

There are many ways NOT to be mindful.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Have you found yourself rushing through life? What would a life with more pauses and mindful moments look and feel like? How would that change your perspective and experience? What is one thing you can do now to add more mindfulness to your day? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
How to Bring Mindfulness to Each Day and Easily Increase Joy in Your Life

When you think of mindfulness, what are your thoughts? Do you think about the formal practice of mindfulness meditation? Are you conjuring up images of breathing slowly or being still? Do you think about mindfulness as being present and aware of something like slowly sipping a hot cup of tea or watching the fall leaves gracefully float to the ground? There are formal mindfulness meditation practices and informal ways to incorporate living mindfully.

For today, I’m going to focus on the mindfully living aspect. I recently discussed the joy stretch with one of my organizing clients. This ‘stretch’ extends the experience of joy-filled moments through mindful awareness. Most mindfulness definitions include present or presence. However, the joy stretch consists of the past, present, and future. You bring conscious awareness to positive thoughts about the future, delightful experiences in the present, and happy memories from the past.

The joy stretch can be used in many ways. This summer, we had a few mini-vacations. Before each one, I engaged in future-thinking about the fun things we would do and the places we would visit. During the vacations, I stayed present to enjoy what I was experiencing, seeing, exploring, and feeling. In this post-vacation time, I appreciate thinking about the happy times we had while away. I read my journal, look at photos, or talk about our travels with my husband, family, or friends. All of these things increase my joy in the present moment.

Without mindfulness, I would be going through the motions of life and not necessarily stopping to appreciate and capture my pleasurable experiences. Extend happiness beyond a particular time or event by activating the joy stretch.

Activate the ‘joy stretch’ for a happier past, present, and future.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Use the joy stretch for all life experiences, including organizing. Let’s say you want to organize your clothing closet to prepare for the cooler seasons. Instead of leaning into a place of overwhelm or stress, envision what it will look and feel like when you’re done. Imagine what it will be like after you edit the clothing that no longer fits, you never wear, and are taking up time, space, and energy. Bask in those positive images of your future closet. Feel that joy, calm, satisfaction, and spaciousness.

As you organize your closet in the present, remind yourself that you ‘get to do this.’ It’s not a have-to or should-do but a get-to. Appreciate your ability to ask questions and make decisions. Will you decide to donate, recycle, or keep that pair of pants you bought on sale but never wear? Feel the joy in the moment of doing, improving, and progressing.

You’re on the other side now. You completed your closet organizing project. Only those clothes you love, fit, and are seasonally appropriate are accessible. There is space for your clothes to breathe and room for you to move around. You find yourself ‘visiting’ the closet a few extra times a day to admire your work and how it looks. The project is done, but the joy continues to be experienced way beyond completion.

Life isn’t always joy-filled or happy. There will be dark times and days. As a counterbalance, creating as much joy as possible is essential. Mindfully activate your joy stretch with positive thoughts about a future experience, happy moments in the present, and reflections on joy-filled times in the past.

Have you used mindful awareness to do a joy stretch? What joyful experiences are you looking forward, currently experiencing, or recently happened? What role has mindfulness played? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 
20 Powerful Self-Help Strategies to Know When Strong Emotions Make Your Motivation Vanish

Having an array of emotions is part of being human. There are no good or bad ones. However, at times, our strong emotions can make clear thoughts challenging. In fact, some emotions like anxiety, sadness, or fear can cause procrastination or completely zap our motivation.

When the amygdala, the primitive, emotional region of the brain, becomes the boss, it creates a cycle that activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight.) The good news is many self-help strategies are available to help switch your internal gears from fight or flight to the rest and digest, parasympathetic nervous system mode.

When calmer, you can more readily access the pre-frontal cortex, a part of the brain that helps with decision-making, organization, attention, planning, emotional regulation, and impulse control. In this more relaxed state, you can reset and access the motivation to move forward.

Recently, I attended a meeting with fellow Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She led a workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.) The four-step process is helpful when making behavioral changes. ACT encourages working towards a value rather than avoiding something. In other words, focus your energy on something positive you want to be or do instead of on something negative you wish to avoid.

The ACT process:

  1. Identify a value. Who or what do I want to be?

  2. Identify feelings. What “yucky” feelings get in the way?

  3. Identify relief valves. When you feel these things, what behaviors occur?

  4. Create a nourishment menu. What behaviors will feel helpful, sustainable, and give perspective when experiencing the “yucky” feelings?

 

Your nourishment menu is where self-help strategies thrive. For example, when feeling anxious, you might engage in negative self-talk, binge-watching, or eating sugar-heavy snacks. What if you acknowledged and noticed those feelings when you felt anxious and instead, engaged in more helpful behaviors from the nourishment menu? Below are some suggestions. I’d love to know which of these or other ones work best for you.

20 Self-Help Strategies - Nourishment Menu

  • Journal

  • Meditate

  • Take a walk

  • Change your setting

  • Organize or clean

  • Create boundaries

  • Breathe slowly

  • Get a massage

  • Hug a loved one for at least 20 seconds

  • Run or exercise

  • Watch leaves flutter

  • Light a scented candle

  • Use humor

  • Rest

  • Read

  • Pet your dog or cat

  • Listen to or play music

  • Take a shower or bath

  • Help someone else

  • Talk with a friend, family member, or professional

I had a recent anxiety-inducing experience when I inadvertently deleted the most current 45 days of emails from my inbox. After long calls with tech support at Apple and Carbonite, it became clear that the emails might be retrieved, but not without many more hours spent with tech support and possibly worse complications.

A tech hiccup is never convenient. My plans to accomplish a lot that day were derailed because of the anxiety inability to focus. At a point, I decided to let it go and not retrieve the emails. However, I was still anxious and not functioning well. My emotions were in high gear, and my brain was foggy. So what did I do?

Your ‘nourishment menu’ is where self-help strategies thrive.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I grabbed my journal and wrote. As the inky pen glided along the smooth paper, my heart beat rapidly, and my stomach was in knots. I wrote about the ‘gone’ emails, my anxious feelings, the power they had to deactivate my motivation, the shift in my emotional state of feeling calmer as I wrote, and the choice to let this go and move on. I noticed my environment (birds chirping, trees swaying), took several deep breaths, and shifted gears to write about positive memories from the mini vacation we just had.

After journaling, I met a dear friend for a walk along the river. We talked, laughed, and I shared the email saga with her. Not knowing about the nourishment menu at the time, I realized after how I had used several of these strategies to calm my anxiety, let go, and reset.

What self-help strategies work for you when your strong emotions take over? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.