Having an array of emotions is part of being human. There are no good or bad ones. However, at times, our strong emotions can make clear thoughts challenging. In fact, some emotions like anxiety, sadness, or fear can cause procrastination or completely zap our motivation.

When the amygdala, the primitive, emotional region of the brain, becomes the boss, it creates a cycle that activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight.) The good news is many self-help strategies are available to help switch your internal gears from fight or flight to the rest and digest, parasympathetic nervous system mode.

When calmer, you can more readily access the pre-frontal cortex, a part of the brain that helps with decision-making, organization, attention, planning, emotional regulation, and impulse control. In this more relaxed state, you can reset and access the motivation to move forward.

Recently, I attended a meeting with fellow Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She led a workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.) The four-step process is helpful when making behavioral changes. ACT encourages working towards a value rather than avoiding something. In other words, focus your energy on something positive you want to be or do instead of on something negative you wish to avoid.

The ACT process:

1. Identify a value. Who or what do I want to be?

2. Identify feelings. What “yucky” feelings get in the way?

3. Identify relief valves. When you feel these things, what behaviors occur?

4. Create a nourishment menu. What behaviors will feel helpful, sustainable, and give perspective when experiencing the “yucky” feelings?

Your nourishment menu is where self-help strategies thrive. For example, when feeling anxious, you might engage in negative self-talk, binge-watching, or eating sugar-heavy snacks. What if you acknowledged and noticed those feelings when you felt anxious and instead, engaged in more helpful behaviors from the nourishment menu? Below are some suggestions. I’d love to know which of these or other ones work best for you.

20 Self-Help Strategies - Nourishment Menu

• Journal

• Meditate

• Take a walk

• Change your setting

• Organize or clean

• Create boundaries

• Breathe slowly

• Get a massage

• Hug a loved one for at least 20 seconds

• Run or exercise

• Watch leaves flutter

• Light a scented candle

• Use humor

• Rest

• Read

• Pet your dog or cat

• Listen to or play music

• Take a shower or bath

• Help someone else

• Talk with a friend, family member, or professional

I had a recent anxiety-inducing experience when I inadvertently deleted the most current 45 days of emails from my inbox. After long calls with tech support at Apple and Carbonite, it became clear that the emails might be retrieved, but not without many more hours spent with tech support and possibly worse complications.

A tech hiccup is never convenient. My plans to accomplish a lot that day were derailed because of the anxiety inability to focus. At a point, I decided to let it go and not retrieve the emails. However, I was still anxious and not functioning well. My emotions were in high gear, and my brain was foggy. So what did I do?

“Your ‘nourishment menu’ is where self-help strategies thrive.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I grabbed my journal and wrote. As the inky pen glided along the smooth paper, my heart beat rapidly, and my stomach was in knots. I wrote about the ‘gone’ emails, my anxious feelings, the power they had to deactivate my motivation, the shift in my emotional state of feeling calmer as I wrote, and the choice to let this go and move on. I noticed my environment (birds chirping, trees swaying), took several deep breaths, and shifted gears to write about positive memories from the mini vacation we just had.

After journaling, I met a dear friend for a walk along the river. We talked, laughed, and I shared the email saga with her. Not knowing about the nourishment menu at the time, I realized after how I had used several of these strategies to calm my anxiety, let go, and reset.

What self-help strategies work for you when your strong emotions take over? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The newest installment (v36) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature has my latest finds which inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. These unique, inspiring, enlisting help discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme. 

You are a generous, communicative, and engaged group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Enlisting Help Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Focus Help

I’ve often said the quality of your questions profoundly influences the quality of your decisions. In The Focus Project – The Not So Simple Art of Doing Less, author and keynote speaker Erik Qualman has cultivated the art of asking great questions. Qualman asked people what led to their sustained success and what was their greatest challenge. The answers, which came from CEOs, teachers, parents, entrepreneurs, and others, responded similarly. Their key to success was “focus.” Their greatest challenge was “staying focused.”

These responses resonated with Qualman so intensely that he created The Focus Project, a yearlong journey to help himself and others “to focus on what matters most.” He selected twelve areas to explore (one per month), including Growth, Health, Relationships, Gratitude, and Mindfulness. There’s even a chapter on Time/Energy Management, which includes ideas about organizing, multitasking, and scheduling. You will love this book if you need help focusing on WIN (What’s Important Now) in an “increasingly unfocused world.” 

2. Interesting Trend – Home Office Help

While many have returned to the office, others still work from home. If you’re working from home, you might have a dedicated room as your home office. However, many do not because there is no space. Instead, they continually shift their workspace from dining room tables to couches or kitchen counters. For those who desire a dedicated office area but are tight on space, help is here.

Have you heard of the cloffice? Yes, you read it correctly. The cloffice is a closet turned into an office. If you don't have a closet that can be repurposed, consider using an alcove instead. Elements to consider incorporating are a work surface, storage space, electricity, and good lighting.

“There are times when it’s beneficial to reach out for help.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

3. Interesting Product  – Mood Help

There are numerous strategies to shift your mood. This can be an internal job, such as working through your negative self-talk. But external ways also help improve your mood, like being in nature or creating a positive environment. One huge mood booster is introducing pleasing scents. I love to burn candles and always look for ones that smell great.

I recently discovered Anecdote Candles, which have humorous descriptions with marvelous aromas. One of my favorites is Wanderlust, with mandarin and berry notes described as “hopeful escapes and aimless destinations.” Another fun one is Coffee Break, which “smells like procrastination and inspiration.”

4. Interesting Fact – E-Clutter Help

Do you need help with e-clutter? Is your inbox inundated with spam and unread emails? The Good Planet reported in 2019 that 293.6 billion emails were sent and received every 24 hours, which included approximately 107 billion spam emails. They propose that if every person deleted 10 emails, we could collectively save 1,725,000 gigabytes of storage space and about 55.2 million kilowatts of power. They suggest unsubscribing from emails you no longer need, deleting spam emails, and deleting emails after reading them. Declutter, which will help your inbox and the planet.

5. Interesting Thought – Unstuck Help

Have you ever felt stuck? What was the circumstance? Were you unsure of your next step? Did you need more information to continue your organizing project? Were you overwhelmed? Sometimes we can wiggle our way out of feeling stuck on our own to get things flowing by walking, writing, or sleeping. But there are also times when it’s beneficial to reach out for help. Engage in a conversation with a friend or colleague. Or hire a professional organizer like me to help work through the challenge and incorporate accountability.

What are your interesting enlisting help discoveries? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Have you ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, and unsure about how to move forward? If so, you’re not alone. It’s fascinating how, when you’re in that stuck mode, time seems to slow down like the speed of molasses dripping from a spoon. It can feel challenging to activate and figure out what to do next. When you’re in an overwhelmed-and-stuck-headspace, negative thoughts can pile on, adding another layer of complication.

This ‘stuck’ place is often the starting point for my virtual organizing clients. One of my greatest joys is facilitating change so my clients can reach their goals and focus on what is most important to them. When my clients make time with me to think, question, and process, it gives them the space to find their way forward. Recently, I worked with clients to create portable workspaces, refine paper management and workflow systems, establish time and scheduling boundaries, prioritize to-do lists, and declutter spaces that had been piled for years.

If you find yourself in this overwhelmed, stymied place and are unsure how to move forward, the first step is identifying it. Then acknowledge this is an area for growth and say, “That’s my work.”

Stop beating yourself up. Refrain from going into negative self-talk or black and white thinking with “I’ll never get organized” or “I’m always going to be overwhelmed.” Stop perpetuating untruths.

“That’s my work.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD, CVOP™

Instead, see where you are stuck and simply, gently, and matter-of-factly repeat, “That’s my work.” It’s your opportunity to develop. What you choose to do next might be breathing and decluttering one big pile. Or, you might decide to enlist help from a trusted family member, friend, or professional organizer like me. Having a buddy as you sort, edit, and ponder can be valuable.

However you choose to move ahead when you’re bothered, stuck, or overwhelmed, remind yourself, “That’s my work.” Then lean in and seize the opening to make a change. It’s time. You can find your way forward.

How do you respond when you are stuck? Do you go it alone or reach out for help? What helps you move forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The last few weeks have been flowing forcefully with a mixture of highs and lows. How have they been for you? I had the joy of speaking at the 3rd International Virtual Summit for Virtual Organisers and exchanging ideas with colleagues from around the globe. On the other end of the emotional spectrum, I experienced the profound loss of my brother-in-law, Larry, while simultaneously marking the first anniversary of my mom’s passing and the tenth anniversary of my dad’s.

When we lose our loved ones, a certain amount of letting go happens because their physical presence ceases to exist. However, they remain with us through our stories, memories, and dreams.

Last month, I read something inspiring that author Todd Henry wrote. He asked,

“What kind of harvest do you want to reap a year from now? And what seeds are you planting right now that will increase your chances of seeing those results?”

When we think about the “harvest” we want to reap, it’s as much about the seeds we nurture as it is about letting go of those things that hinder growth. I often see this with my clients. Their goal is to declutter, let go, and get organized. Clear, calm physical and mental space is the harvest they seek. Yet, it’s essential to let go of some belongings, unhelpful habits, and negative self-talk to get there. The goal is clear, but the journey can be challenging. Progress happens when we finally lean into letting go.

“Progress happens when we finally lean into letting go.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Circling back to the highs and lows of these past weeks, I think about how they relate to reaping. When I pivoted my business to virtual organizing, I planted various seeds that led to beautiful harvests, including new clients, speaking engagements, and exciting business and media opportunities. I let go of how I used to work, stayed flexible, and reimagined my organizing business. I continue to plant and nurture new seeds as I navigate the changing landscape.

When Larry died on the heels of my mother and father’s anniversaries, I thought about the relationship seeds I planted for all of these decades. Those were nurtured and resulted in close, loving bonds. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, even though my heart aches as I let go. There will be no more phone conversations, hand-holding, or hugs. Instead, I will remember my loved ones in the scent of the pine needles, the laughter at silly jokes, and the road trip quests for homemade pies. 

We plant seeds and nurture them. We lean in and let go. What can you let go of to accomplish the goals you seek? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.