Posts tagged daughters
3 Reasons for Lack of Motivation and How to Get Motivated
3 Reasons for Lack of Motivation and How to Get Motivated

Have you ever experienced that intense, inner push that propels you towards your desired goal? Or perhaps, you’ve felt the opposite and lacked the energy and motivation to move forward. In Kendra Cherry’s article, What Is Motivation? she explains,

“Motivation is the process that initiates, guides, and maintains goal-oriented behaviors. It is what causes you to act, whether it is getting a glass of water to reduce thirst or reading a book to gain knowledge.

Motivation involves the biological, emotional, social, and cognitive forces that activate behavior. In everyday usage, the term ‘motivation’ is frequently used to describe why a person does something. It is the driving force behind human actions.”

There are many reasons why we become motivationally challenged, including fear of failure, comparison, and drudgery. In one of my most popular posts, 10 Most Common Motivation Challenges & Easy Solutions, I explore these and other ideas. Since motivation concerns is a topic many of us are currently struggling with, I decided to expand on the original post to give you some other relevant motivation challenges and solutions.

 

3 Reasons for Lack of Motivation and How to Get Motivated

1. “Fuzzy brain.”

With the hundreds of Zoom calls and conversations I’ve had in these past months, there have been countless times when someone connected feeling unmotivated to “fuzzy brain,” “brain fog,” “bunker brain,” or “COVID brain.” Lack of motivation is understandable since we live with intense uncertainty and stress caused by the pandemic and the current political, social, and economic climate. Neuroscientists Hilke Plassmann and Benjamin Kessler, describe this mentally fuzzy phenomenon. They explain that “the combination of impaired analytical thinking and heightened external sensitivity creates what can be called ‘Covid-19 brain’ – a fragile, frazzled state that keeps our thoughts simultaneously on edge and unfocused.”

Solution:  To heal the brain fog, Plassmann suggests using music to restore your equilibrium, regulate your emotions, and increase your focus. She also suggests engaging in mindfulness meditation, especially breathing focused practices, that regulate brain activity.

 

 

2. Emergency, emergency!

As if the pandemic isn’t enough, many of us are also experiencing life emergencies such as loss of loved ones, medical challenges, or loss of jobs, income, or housing. When these events happen, it’s hard enough. But when they occur in this extreme environment, it is even more likely your motivation will get disrupted. When your days are spent putting out the emergency fires, and there are underlying stress and anxiety because of the pandemic, there might not be much oomph remaining to expend energy on your goals.

Two weeks ago, my 91-year old mom, who has dementia, broke her hip. She ended up in the hospital, had surgery, and is now in rehab. As if that weren't enough, she had two additional emergencies and ER visits during this time. Talk about being on high alert! Let’s just say that while I have been doing my best to work on my goals and stay motivated, there were moments when I felt like I was walking through molasses, as in slow in going.  One of my weekly goals is writing my blog post. While I am motivated to write, with the mom stuff happening, it has been challenging to focus. So when I sat to write what was going to be a ten-point post, I gave myself some slack and reduced it to three.

When life’s emergencies occur in this extreme environment, it is even more likely your motivation will get disrupted.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

Solution: Life emergencies are the time to be especially kind to you. Acknowledge how your high alert state is depleting your reserves. The crisis will eventually pass. Make sure that you increase your self-care with enough sleep, hydration, nutrition, and movement. Minimize your self-expectations. What can you let go of? Focus on what’s most important now. Reach out to your friends and family for support. As your emergency passes, you will have more energy and motivation to work on your goals.

 

 

3. Can’t take the heat.

Yes. I know it is summer. And with this season comes hot weather. I don’t know about you, but it’s harder for me to activate when it’s hot. I remember the many summer vacations spent with our daughters in The Outer Banks. It was sweltering in North Carolina. The heat was tolerable when we were at the beach or in the air conditioning. However, when we explored the local towns, it felt like we were walking in an oven. Our energy and motivation to do anything were compromised. It seemed like a significant achievement just to choose and eat an ice cream cone. Even though New York (where I live) isn’t North Carolina hot, the temperature can still affect my motivation. Are you climate-sensitive?

Solution:  If you are affected by the warm weather, notice and acknowledge that. Consider some workarounds that will help increase your motivation. Things as simple as changing your clothing to lighter fabrics and colors, adding a fan to your workspace, or taking your brisk walk in the early morning or late evening, can help. Remember to hydrate, hydrate, and hydrate some more. Plan projects like garage or attic organizing for the colder weather. 

 

Take a moment to recognize that motivation can wane. It doesn’t mean it will be gone forever. It does mean you might need to experiment and make a few adjustments in behavior or perspective to nurture its return. What motivation challenges are you experiencing? What helps you get motivated when you are struggling? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!

 
 
7 Uplifting Discoveries That Will Help You Cope With Next
7 Uplifting Discoveries That Will Help You Cope With Next

Another week has passed as we navigate and adjust to the rapidly changing COVID-19 world crisis. More schools, local stores, restaurants, and industries have shut down, and additional closures are coming. We’re learning how to stay in place as we manage the new realities of family, health, work, or the lack thereof. Each one of us will be touched if we haven’t already, by loss of loved ones, income, and life as we knew it. People have described the “brain fog” and a general sense of anxiety they’re feeling. Others have shared how essential their need to stay connected to “community” is, especially at this time.

Each day brings a new awareness about how to cope with next, given all the uncertainty. I continue to learn and be inspired by you and the ways you are facing each day of unknowns with grace, compassion, and humor. None of us know how long this pandemic will last or in what ways our lives will be changed. We only have today. It is what we do today that matters.

Several things happened this week that helped me cope with next. I hope some of these will help you in the weeks ahead.

 

7 Uplifting Discoveries That Will Help You Cope With Next

1. Be Compassionate

Extending compassion to others comes in many forms, from offering a listening ear to sharing a smile with a stranger, to bringing groceries to someone who is homebound. One of my girlfriends told me about her friend that just started the initiative, Million Gallons. Their goal is to provide food security for restaurant, hospitality, and other workers that have been displaced by the coronavirus in Westchester County and New York City. A Million Gallons hopes to make and distribute one million gallons of soup. I am in awe of how quickly they mobilized with compassion and purpose to help those in need. To learn more about their compassion-driven cause, watch the video. What act of kindness have you experienced?

 

 

2. Identify Feelings

You might be feeling all kinds of emotions. Some of them you can easily name, while others are harder to identify. One of the feelings that surfaced in several conversations this past week was grief. On a Zoom call with my organizing colleagues, after listening to them share how they were feeling, it was clear that a few were experiencing grief. Their grief was not over the loss of a loved one. Instead, it was from their loss of purpose, of working, and of helping their clients. Later in the week, both my yoga teacher and Rabbi referenced the Harvard Business Review article, That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief. In the article, David Kessler, the preeminent grief expert, explored how to acknowledge, manage, and find meaning in the pandemic-induced grief you could be experiencing. It’s an insightful piece that helped me feel gentler towards others and myself. What are you feeling right now?

 

 

3. Find Humor

In this time of social distancing and isolation, we are finding different ways of being engaged with the world. I’ve become more aware of how institutions such as museums, aquariums, and zoos are keeping us connected through video. One segment I saw this past week made me smile from ear to ear. Two penguins from the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago were allowed to run loose as they wandered around and toured the exhibits. It was so much fun to watch! What added humor to your day?

 

 

4. Notice Indicators

Being that I live in New York, which is one of the current COVID-19 outbreak hotbeds, my husband and I have been staying put. We only go out to get groceries, pick-up food from local restaurants, go on walks, take a drive to nowhere, or do yard work. When I’m out, I notice changes, especially at the grocery store. Several weeks ago, I saw shortages of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and disinfecting wipes. As the weeks continued, additional items came into short supply like hand soap, dish soap, paper towels, tissues, cleaning supplies, ice cream, eggs, Tylenol, chicken broth, and chicken. And this week, when I went to the market, the chicken and ice cream had been replenished, but the entire supply of chocolate chip morsels had been ravaged. Those shelves were completely empty. I realized that one of the home activities parents were doing with their kids was baking cookies. A happy feeling ran through me, as I was flooded with love-filled memories of baking with our daughters. What indicators are you noticing?

 

 

5. Get Creative

It’s been fascinating to watch how companies and individuals are using the pause to get creative with projects, how they do business or infuse creativity in their days. Baked By Susan, one of our local bakeries, put together “decorate your own cupcake” kits. One of my friends is busy knitting a complicated cardigan. I’ve been testing out some new recipes, writing, taking photos, and creating organizing videos. One of the recent recipes I tried from the Yotam Ottolenghi’s Simple cookbook that my daughter, Allison, gave me was mashed sweet potato with lime salsa. It was so delicious and easy to make. If you’d like the recipe, let me know in the comments, and I’ll share it with you. What creative outlets are catching your attention?

 

 

6. Seek Connections

You might be isolating, but you are not alone. There are different ways that we connected with people before the pandemic. And temporarily, many of those intentional and casual points of contact have now been cut off. But we are social beings. We need one another. One of the things that have kept me sane is finding new ways to connect and “be with” the various communities and people in my life. Zoom has been a positive and satisfying way of staying connected with family, friends, colleagues, yoga, organizing, and spiritual communities. I recognize that not everyone feels connected to a community. If you are struggling, feeling alone and isolated, the COVID-19 Emotional Support Hotline is 844-863-9314. What way has connecting changed for you during this time?

 

 

7. Explore Nature

We experience many positive benefits for our wellbeing when we spend time in nature. Can you recall a recent time when you walked in the woods, felt the fresh air and sun on your skin, or dipped your toes in the sea? Being surrounded by nature can be restorative for our minds and bodies. Lately, I’ve mostly been walking in the woods since the path is less crowded than other local spots. But this week, I walked along the Hudson River path. I loved being by the water, hearing the birds sing, and seeing the spring foliage just beginning to bloom. I know that not everyone has access to or the desire to be outdoors. One of the other discoveries I made this week was from the New York Botanical Garden. Like many institutions, they too have temporarily closed. However, you can take a virtual tour of their magnificent orchid exhibit. So if you love seeing, but not being in nature, try a remote viewing. In what way does nature improve your wellbeing?

 

When we are experiencing grief and other strong emotions, it’s hard to think about next. In this time, next might need to be a big dose of self-compassion. Or, perhaps it will be you reaching out to someone else that is hurting. Regardless, there are ways to cope and simultaneously uplift yourself and others. What have you discovered? What has inspired you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to leave a comment and join our conversation.

 
 
Appreciating Genuine Joy With Life's Inevitable Changes
Appreciating Genuine Joy With Life’s Inevitable Changes

We’ve all heard phrases like...

“The only thing you can count on is change,”

or

“Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.”

While we understand this intellectually, change, even though anticipated, can be challenging. Sometimes we have to work at noticing something positive in the changes that happen.

This past weekend, my husband and I spent Valentine’s Day in Brooklyn with our daughters. Talk about change. Not that long ago, on a daily basis we saw, talked with, interacted with, and watched them grow. For our family, the stage of being together daily is over. The girls are now self-sufficient adults and living on their own.

As they create their lives and establish their patterns and roots, we have less family time. This is no surprise. It’s how it often is. This is an essential part of them becoming independent. However, even though it’s what we know would happen, there are times when I miss what was and the changes that have occurred. That’s normal.

I savor this simple, joy-infused moment.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Instead of feeling sad for the era that's passed, I focus on embracing the changes or moments that are happening now. Our daughter Allison, who was photographing me with our daughter Cassie, captured one of these celebratory moments. In those few fleeting seconds, Allison filmed the sheer joy I felt being with my kids. There was nothing unusual about the moment. We were preparing breakfast together. It was a familiar, yet much missed moment that used to be part of my daily experience – hugging, laughing, and cooking. I savor this simple, joy-infused moment.

Change is part of the human experience. Maybe you’re in the process of making changes right now. What is your experience with change? Do you find ways to seek joy along the way? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

 
 
How Motivated Are You to Slow Down?

You know what happens when you go, go, go? You get burned out, out, out. So I’d say that my motivation to slow down is pretty darn high right now because I’ve been on the go for a long stretch…a very long stretch.

Here’s the good news. I’ve planned some time off to slow my motor. Yet, as I write this in advance of our mini vacation so that it will post while I’m off the grid, I’m still in the go, go, go mode. As a matter of fact, after I write this post I need to write my pack list and pack. And before I wrote this I had a client that needed organizing help, an interview to finish writing, bills to pay, errands to run, emails to respond to, and a rental car to return. I bet this sounds all too familiar, right?

I won’t tell you what time it is, but let’s just say, it’s late. I’ve had a bit too much caffeine today. That in combination with the adrenaline pumping will give me enough energy to sprint some more. Then I can shift into low gear. I’m looking forward to changing my pace.

The point is that I am highly motivated to slow down. I’ve been pushing and doing and doing some more. It’s time for a break. It’s time to not do. It’s time to enjoy our family and suspend all agendas and to do lists.

I’m looking forward to our road trip to the mountains where we’ll meet up with our daughters. By the time you read this, I will have had days of unwinding, decompressing, relaxing, and unplugging. I might be unrecognizable. Let’s hope so. What will relaxed look and feel like?

How about you? Will you take off time this summer? What motivates you to change your pace? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.