As the holiday season arrives, there is much to be grateful for. There are gatherings and celebrations to look forward to with your favorite humans. There are moments of simple ordinary joy like taking your first sip of hot coffee in the morning, crossing off a task from your to-do list, or receiving an encouraging message from a friend. When things are going well, gratitude comes easily, and you lean into those positive feelings. What happens when you experience unpleasantness, inconveniences, or heartbreak? Are you able to navigate with compassion and patience?

I’m having a terrible moment, although I recognize it’s fixable and will pass. My computer is giving me BIG trouble. Yes. I talked with tech support and am working on the problem. There’s more to do, but I guess it’s time to replace my computer. This is not something I want to do right now, but it’s also no fun having my computer crash continually, go as slow as molasses, and not be able to handle the work I do each day. Time, the most precious commodity, is being wasted. My frustration levels are increasing.

During the educational NERCPO conference this weekend, presenter Rubina Motta spoke about productivity and eliminating waste in your processes. She said waste is “anything that adds cost or time without adding value.” Was she talking to me? Rubina explained the “seven deadly wastes,” of which “waiting” was one of them. I understand how waiting is essential and unavoidable at times. However, waiting for my computer programs to load while the multicolored wheel spins or reboots because the computer froze again, I could do without.

There’s a quote by author L.R. Knost, who shares a perspective about life that is both realistic and hopeful. She said,

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

“Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. ”

— L.R. Knost

I love Knost’s advice, which I’m going to follow right now.

I will breathe in the amazing as I . . .

• Marvel at the deep rich red maple leaves dotting the fall landscape

• Spend time with my loved ones

• Walk along the river and in the woods

• Enjoy the flavors, textures, and scents of the foods I eat

• Hear music that makes me well up with emotion

• What amazing things will you breathe in?

I will hold on through the awful as I . . .

• Figure out what tech steps are needed next

• Grieve for the family and friends who have passed

• What awful things are you navigating?

I will relax and exhale during the ordinary as I . . .

• Do my daily mindfulness meditation

• Practice yoga

• Journal

• Brush my teeth

• Shower

• Organize my days

• Get into bed at night

• What ordinary things are you relaxing into?

Life is a mix of emotions, experiences, joy, heartbreak, and more. Some days are more challenging than others. Extend extra compassion to yourself as you navigate life’s ups and downs. Breathe, hold on, and relax through all that is before you. What are you noticing now? What is your time and attention feeding? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Mindfulness strengthens awareness, which filters into all aspects of life. Mindfulness can influence how you approach moment-to-moment experiences, your choices, and how intentional (or not) you are. Bringing a mindful approach to people, places, and things enhances your wellbeing.

Intertwined with mindfulness is a question that my good friend and life coach, Yota Schneider, offered recently. I first heard her question during a retreat she facilitated. Yota also wrote about it in her recent blog post, The Power of the Questions We Ask Ourselves. So what is this profound question? She asked, “Is it necessary?”

I love how the query brings mindful attention and focus to your thinking. The question cuts through the noise and is universally applicable. It allows for a gentle opening, which creates a path for positive, intentional choices. Many things in life are unnecessary, like unhelpful thoughts, physical stuff that blocks your space, calendar clutter, or relationships that drain rather than energize you.

The beauty of Yota’s question also encourages you to also answer the opposite one; What is necessary? When you let go of the unessential, unproductive, and damaging stuff, you create room for remarkable possibilities and a life filled with the things you purposefully choose.

“Is it necessary?”

— Yota Schneider

Going back to Yota’s retreat, she guided us in a group meditation with the “Is it necessary?” prompt. After, we wrote about what surfaced during our practice. Below is a personal journal entry from that experience where I reflected on “necessary.”

Linda’s Journal Entry

Is it necessary? Breathing? Most definitely necessary. Resting? Yes, yes, and yes! Having quiet? Not always, but sometimes like tonight, so needed and lovely. As I relaxed in the silence of the meditation, I drifted and then floated. Where did I go? It was a still, peaceful, calm place. No demands on myself or the time. A feeling of being. I might have drifted off here or there. When I returned, my awareness was of stillness- no sound or sensations, no attention to my breath. It felt necessary. Needed. So needed.

What isn’t necessary? The negative self-talk, doubt, and feeling of not knowing what to do next. When I’m in ‘focus mode,’ doubt generally recedes. I feel the momentum and motivation to move towards that thing, goal, or destination. I’m on the journey, a path of discovery and action.

But when the wind changes, and it does, I head in the not necessary direction. The breeze took me there today for a portion of my day. The plan for the day veered off course, and so did my thoughts- the unnecessary, unhelpful ones.

Slowly, after two good walks, a few meals, and snacks, I willed myself back. I let go of the doubt or suspended it long enough to take one step. That led to another and back to where I wanted to be. Is it necessary to course correct? Sometimes it is because it’s impossible to be at 100% capacity 100% of the time.

Is it necessary? Breathing? Yes. Resting? Yes. Making a distinction between the essential and not necessary? A resounding yes!

How does mindfulness influence your decision-making? When you think about the choices before you, will you use the question- Is it necessary? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Life encompasses an array of emotions. We experience joy, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, love, and many nuanced emotions. We can change our state of being by altering our actions, breath, or thoughts. Switching gears amid powerful emotions can be challenging. However, it’s possible. Bringing mindful awareness to what you’re feeling and doing is one path to get there. With that awareness, opportunities to experience more happiness will increase.

When you live in the land of ‘wishing,’ you’re focused on someday. While it’s essential to dream and future-think, this can detract from current experiences. You can miss opportunities for happiness and mindful moments if you’re too intent on what will be versus what is going on now.

I’m a quote collector. I have several favorites on my desk, including one from Walt Whitman. His thoughts beautifully weave a connection between happiness and mindfulness. He said, “Happiness, not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour.”

What does Whitman’s message encourage? It reminds me that happiness is always available to us. You don’t need to postpone joy for some future time when your project is complete, or goals are reached. It’s possible to experience happiness as part of your daily journey. Develop a mindful awareness of what is happening now and what senses you are noticing.

“Happiness, not in another place but this place...not for another hour, but this hour.”

— Walt Whitman

Which recent experiences made you happy? Here are a few of mine:

• Seeing the bouquet of yellow-orange flowers in the purple vase

• Feeling the cooler fall air on my skin

• Smelling the pine-scented sachet in my dresser drawer

• Eating a delicious frozen dark chocolate dipped banana pop

• Hearing the sound of my husband’s voice on the other end of the phone

• Picking fresh basil from my mini-garden for my salad

• Walking along the Hudson River

• Folding the clean laundry

• Taking a yoga class

• Sweeping the front path

• Learning from Nest Advisor colleagues

• Watching the birds enjoy the birdbath in our backyard

• Engaging in deep conversations with my friends, family, clients, and colleagues

• Creating images and a promo video for my upcoming clutter workshop

Tiny happiness moments are accessible and can be enhanced when you pause to savor them. What are you noticing? How do mindfulness and happiness show up in your life? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

When you think of mindfulness, what are your thoughts? Do you think about the formal practice of mindfulness meditation? Are you conjuring up images of breathing slowly or being still? Do you think about mindfulness as being present and aware of something like slowly sipping a hot cup of tea or watching the fall leaves gracefully float to the ground? There are formal mindfulness meditation practices and informal ways to incorporate living mindfully.

For today, I’m going to focus on the mindfully living aspect. I recently discussed the joy stretch with one of my organizing clients. This ‘stretch’ extends the experience of joy-filled moments through mindful awareness. Most mindfulness definitions include present or presence. However, the joy stretch consists of the past, present, and future. You bring conscious awareness to positive thoughts about the future, delightful experiences in the present, and happy memories from the past.

The joy stretch can be used in many ways. This summer, we had a few mini-vacations. Before each one, I engaged in future-thinking about the fun things we would do and the places we would visit. During the vacations, I stayed present to enjoy what I was experiencing, seeing, exploring, and feeling. In this post-vacation time, I appreciate thinking about the happy times we had while away. I read my journal, look at photos, or talk about our travels with my husband, family, or friends. All of these things increase my joy in the present moment.

Without mindfulness, I would be going through the motions of life and not necessarily stopping to appreciate and capture my pleasurable experiences. Extend happiness beyond a particular time or event by activating the joy stretch.

“Activate the ‘joy stretch’ for a happier past, present, and future.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Use the joy stretch for all life experiences, including organizing. Let’s say you want to organize your clothing closet to prepare for the cooler seasons. Instead of leaning into a place of overwhelm or stress, envision what it will look and feel like when you’re done. Imagine what it will be like after you edit the clothing that no longer fits, you never wear, and are taking up time, space, and energy. Bask in those positive images of your future closet. Feel that joy, calm, satisfaction, and spaciousness.

As you organize your closet in the present, remind yourself that you ‘get to do this.’ It’s not a have-to or should-do but a get-to. Appreciate your ability to ask questions and make decisions. Will you decide to donate, recycle, or keep that pair of pants you bought on sale but never wear? Feel the joy in the moment of doing, improving, and progressing.

You’re on the other side now. You completed your closet organizing project. Only those clothes you love, fit, and are seasonally appropriate are accessible. There is space for your clothes to breathe and room for you to move around. You find yourself ‘visiting’ the closet a few extra times a day to admire your work and how it looks. The project is done, but the joy continues to be experienced way beyond completion.

Life isn’t always joy-filled or happy. There will be dark times and days. As a counterbalance, creating as much joy as possible is essential. Mindfully activate your joy stretch with positive thoughts about a future experience, happy moments in the present, and reflections on joy-filled times in the past.

Have you used mindful awareness to do a joy stretch? What joyful experiences are you looking forward, currently experiencing, or recently happened? What role has mindfulness played? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.