Time keeps ticking. The sun rises and sets each day. Is it just me, or do the days feel like they are passing at an accelerated speed? Here we are at the start of summer, yet it seems like 2023 just began. The days are packed with things to do, organize, and follow up on. Special days are punctuated by birthdays, graduations, births, weddings, and anniversaries. Especially during this time of year, there are many endings and new beginnings. These celebrations increase the passage of time awareness.

You experience longer pauses each day when you sleep. But often, during the non-sleeping hours, you are going, going, going. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for making the most of each day and being productive. However, there is also tremendous value in taking a timely pause or break from your routine. It’s wonderful if you can build in short daily pauses. Mine include mindfulness meditation, nature walks, or slowly sipping iced coffee. What are your short breaks like?

Long, planned pauses are also beneficial. These extended breaks, like a day off, long weekends, or vacations, nurture your well-being. Routines are helpful to establish, but switching your patterns can be restorative and energizing. It’s easy to forget the importance of not-doing and taking a break, especially when working so much. You will burn out if you get consumed in doing and accomplishing without pausing.

My husband Steve and I just celebrated our 40th anniversary. Talk about time passing quickly! I don’t know where the years have gone. To celebrate, we traveled to Turks & Caicos. We loved it, especially the slower “island time” pace, which was palpable and contagious. Within a few days, the warm air, soft white sand, clear turquoise water, and calm pace worked their magic on us. We leaned into the pause 100%. We woke up without alarms, went to bed when we wanted, and spent hours floating in the beautiful sea each day. We had no plans and allowed each day to unfold with a few exceptions.

Life is about contrasts- night and day, warm and cold, activate and pause. I appreciate working hard but I also know how essential it is to take breaks. Even tiny ones are helpful. But after taking a break for over a week, I also recognize the value of long pauses.

Time keeps ticking. Prioritizing time to play, relax, wander, swim, float, and celebrate with my best friend and husband of 40 years is essential. It’s been a while since we took that much time off, and I’m so happy we did. There are more pauses in my future- some short, some extended. They are essential.

“You will burn out if you become consumed in doing and accomplishing without pausing.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How do you know when it’s time for a pause? What do your breaks look and feel like? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Have you ever ignored the signs that it’s time to make a change? Then something significant happens. What was invisible moments ago becomes something you can no longer ignore. You might wonder, “How did I not see this before?”

It’s often the case that we conveniently ignore the signs. Why is that? Change can be scary. Its pursuit can require you to do uncomfortable things, like creating new habits or stepping outside your expertise or comfort zone. Instead of embracing change as a positive, proactive choice, we meet it with hesitation or fear.

Recently, I had an experience that made me think, “How did I not see this before?” I was going about my morning routine. I just applied my face moisturizer, looked in the makeup mirror, and was about to tweeze my eyebrows. Then I saw it. In the middle of my forehead, sticking out, was one long, white coarse hair. What? It wasn’t there yesterday or the day before. Did it grow overnight? How did that happen? Or had it been there for days, and I hadn’t noticed it? Well, I saw it that morning and quickly plucked it out.

Are you wondering how this relates to change? Once I saw the hair, I couldn’t unsee it, and I felt compelled to do something. Yes. Pulling it out was making a change of sorts. While my story might seem silly, it highlights how awareness drives change.

Are these scenarios more familiar?

• Papers are piling up on the coffee table. You walk by them every day without giving them much thought. One evening, you wonder how the piles got so big. You can no longer pass them by, so you edit, let go and regain your surface. Your awareness drove change.
  

• Clothes are overflowing in your closet. You navigate each morning irritably as you get dressed. One day, you recognize how much stress this causes you. You can no longer ignore it, so you edit and organize, which creates a smoother morning routine. Your awareness drove change.
  

• Your computer is slow. It crashes, takes time to respond, and doesn’t function well. Each day you continue to work with a slow, unpredictable computer. At a point, you recognize this isn’t a tolerable way forward. You spend countless hours with tech support, hire a tech person for more help, and ultimately purchase a new computer because your hard drive is failing. Why did you ignore the signs for so long? Finally, awareness drove change. If you’re curious, that was me and I love my new computer.

“Awareness drives change.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

The other side of change is a wonderful place to be. But getting there can be slow when we ignore the cues. Once you ‘see’ and acknowledge the challenge, your mind creates space for finding solutions and taking action. While the initial noticing and awareness can be painful, as in “How did I not see this before?” don’t let that derail what happens next. Use your awareness as the impetus to embrace change. Once you see clearly, you have an opportunity for improvement.

Have you ever experienced a sudden awareness of a challenge that helped you make a change? Or do you have the understanding but are stuck moving forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

We’re in the midst of the holiday season. Do you feel like a juggler in a circus? Between planning or attending gatherings, keeping your family fed, helping your kids or aging parents, and completing your work deadlines, your time is in high demand. Add to that, preparing for visitors coming and going, selecting and wrapping gifts, and making time for some self-care (yes, self-care…I’m talking to you) it’s a lot. Seriously. How many balls are you juggling at once? How do you navigate the many roles and responsibilities you have? There is a delicate nature to finding a doable work-life balance. Many of you will probably agree that the ‘right’ balance is a constantly moving target.

When my balance is off, I look carefully at my commitments and evaluate what change is needed. Have I said “yes” too often? Have I said “yes” to things that are nourishing and energizing? One of the best decisions and yeses I made a year ago was to Marcy Stoudt, CEO of Revel Coach and Founder of The Executive Mom Nest. This visionary Executive Coach and mother of three launched The Executive Mom Nest, or The Nest, as we affectionately call it. Marcy created a team of vetted Advisors from diverse yet complementary industries, including marketing, finance, design, wellness, life and career coaching, travel, and organization. The team supports, coaches, and mentors moms navigating career, family, and self. I’m thrilled that Marcy invited me to join her team as the Professional Organizer Advisor.

For a better understanding of work-life balance, I immediately thought about these insightful Nest Advisors and their collective wisdom. We meet regularly, and I always learn so much from them. I reached out to several colleagues, Marcy Stoudt, Neela Asaadi, Lucy Carlisle, Lana Kitcher, Petra Krebbs, Alison Nissen, and Becky Roth. I asked them- What is one strategy you use to restore your work-life balance?

Their responses are philosophical, practical, personal, and inspiring. My deepest gratitude goes out to them for sharing their hearts, experience, and honesty with us.

What is one strategy you use to restore your work-life balance?

1. Balance through Self-Care

"One constant that every single human being has is time, and we have the same amount of it. What we choose to do with it is our choice. The secret to any success story is moderation and living in harmony with yourself. If something doesn't go as planned, learn from it, don't judge it. If you indulge, enjoy it, and get back on track later! If you overworked yourself, give yourself a well-deserved rest. 

Strive to keep yourself grounded through fulfilling practices and rituals that fuel your soul. Morning rituals are personally my favorite way to set myself up for success, in addition to a delicious night's sleep to restore. Spend time investing in yourself. After all, it is the greatest gift you could give so you can show up as the best version of yourself for everyone around you."

Neela Asaadi – Lifestyle Designer, Holistic Health Coach, Creative & Brand Director

2. Balance through Less Negative Self-Talk

“I get control of my negative self-talk. I'm a busy working mom. I'm proud of what I do. But, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, it's rarely because I am doing too much. It is almost always due to my mental chatter obsessing over my lack of time. I lose motivation, focus, and clarity when I have negative thoughts. If you are seeking work/life balance, start with the root cause: negative self-talk. When you control your thoughts, you control your day.”

Marcy Stoudt – CEO of Revel Coach, Founder of The Executive Mom Nest

3. Balance through Work Satisfaction

“Find a job that you love. Your career doesn't have to be (and shouldn't be) constraining. If you hate what you do for work, it will inevitably seep into your personal life. When you find time for travel, self-care, or family time, work might be that dark cloud that stays over you even when you are trying to enjoy yourself. Having a job that I am so passionate about has brought me work-life balance in unexpected ways. When I unplug, I feel deserving, and when I get back to work, I feel excited and invigorated.”

Lucy Carlisle – Marketing

“When life is humming along beautifully, we rarely think about balance.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

4. Balance through Reflection

“When I think of balance, I envision two bowls dangling from a stick, delicately positioned to be even. Life doesn't work like that. Instead, I find harmony in my life through reflection, joy, and growth. If I dread an activity, I ask myself what purpose it serves. If it’s a class I know will help me professionally, I can look ahead to the end date and envision the success it will bring at a future date. If, however, it’s a toxic relationship with something such as junk food, I will replace the interactions with something that brings me joy, like giving myself a few extra minutes to read a novel.”

Alison Nissen, DTM – Story Coach, Blogger, Speaker

5. Balance through Healthy Boundaries

“When I think of work/life balance, I think of seasons. I don’t believe there is a perfect balance to life because some seasons require more work, and some require more of life. What has helped me feel restored in each season is applying healthy boundaries. No matter the season, I keep within boundaries that align with my values, purpose, and goals. Should a season push up against those boundaries, I can adjust accordingly. When we know who we are and where we are going, then there is peace no matter the season.”

Petra Krebbs – Strengths Strategist™, Jon Gordon Certified Speaker & Trainer, Certified Gallup Strengths Coach

6. Balance through Energy Management

“A major way to restore my work/life balance is to manage my energy each workweek. When I break down my goals/tasks weekly, it is achievable. For example, I view the week as a pizza pie (yum) and try to eat one slice daily, so by the end of each day, I feel energized and have accomplished my daily tasks. Sure, there are weeks I’m planning special events or need extra time to cross the task of the list. By checking in on my energy rhythm, I usually feel less drained. Are you eating your slice daily or the entire pizza pie by Wednesday? Check yourself daily to understand your energy as it will balance your career and life goals.”

Becky Roth, MSW, LMSW – Certified Professional Coach, Career Coach, Speaker

7. Balance through Frequent Assessment

“When I'm feeling frustrated about my day, I can tell that it's time for me to restore balance. Restoring balance is a practice and needs to be assessed regularly. I have a three-step process for bringing back balance and suggest making time for this routine at least once a quarter.

1) Meditate – First, I need to calm myself down and take a moment to breathe and clear my head.

2) Process – Second, I need to make space for myself and process what makes me feel frustrated or overwhelmed. This is a great opportunity to go to my favorite cafe with a notebook and journal on the question.

3) Review - Finally, I review my calendar. I reevaluate everything on my schedule - declining meetings or removing responsibilities that no longer serve me. It's also helpful to look ahead and block some time in the future for myself, knowing how overwhelmed I'm feeling now.”

Lana Kitcher – Productivity & Efficiency Coach

When life is humming along beautifully, we rarely think about balance. However, when things start going sideways, we notice. Awareness is essential for change. There are many ways to restore work-life balance. My colleagues shared their favorite strategies with you.

Which ideas resonate most? What helps you create a healthy work-life balance? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

Have you ever tried to create a new habit or behavior? Altering your habit cue will encourage a different result. For example, if you want to stop losing your keys, you can put a small bowl in a landing spot to catch your keys when you enter your home. The bowl becomes your new cue and helps to change your habit. No more misplaced keys because you have established a specific home where you will always find them. This sounds good, right? What happens when you successfully put your keys in the bowl for days, even months, and then one time you forget to do it? You frantically hunt for your misplaced keys and berate yourself for losing them. How do you bounce back from there? Do you give up? Do you engage in negative self-talk? Will you embrace a fresh start even after your break in continuity?

Recently, I had an upsetting experience with one of my habits. I’ve been practicing mindfulness meditation for four years. I’ve meditated almost daily with a gap here and there. For a while now, Insight Timer has been my favorite meditation app. Aside from the app offering diverse meditations and teachers to choose from, it also tracks my activity. So I know how many consecutive days I’ve meditated. To help keep me committed to my practice, I also use a daily repeat on my to-do list that cues me. 

So what happened? I intentionally deviated from my normal morning routine, including mindfulness meditation, so I could make a special birthday breakfast for my husband. My plan was to meditate later that day or at bedtime. However, the day got away from me for various reasons, and before I realized it, it was past midnight. I missed my practice that day. I’ve missed meditation practice a day or two at other times, so why was I so upset? I mentioned before that Insight Timer tracks my activity. Up until the other day, I had 390 consecutive days of practice. By missing that single day, the consecutive days counter restarted. I was so disappointed in myself. How could I have missed a day? The negative self-talk was quite insistent. And then something happened. I asked, “What lesson can I learn?” I wanted to shift my unhelpful thinking to a more positive, growth-oriented mindset.

“What lesson can I learn?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

3 Lessons Learned From My Break in Continuity

1. It’s just a number.

Seeing the consecutive days’ number increase after each meditation gives me a motivation boost. But the reason I meditate has nothing to do with the number. I meditate to feel calmer, provide quiet space, practice focus, shift attention, and be more mindful. None of those things have anything to do with a number. I don’t meditate for the gold star or days tracked by the app. However, by missing one practice, I recognized how reliant I had become on the tracker, which wasn’t healthy.

What I know is the more I practice, the better I feel, and the more I’m able to regulate my emotions. The 390 consecutive days I practiced aren’t lost. And the meditations ahead will continue to be helpful. I reminded myself to use the tracking if it helps but recognizing it only represents a tiny part of the entire story. 

2. Understand the “what-the-hell effect.”

I recently attended a meeting with fellow Executive Mom Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She talked about habit change and how certain actions can derail us. Monica described the “what-the-hell effect,” a term behavioral scientists use. It’s a feeling of shame we can experience when we mess up and deviate from a habit we’ve established. For example, let’s say you committed to not eating ice cream. You successfully eliminated it from your diet. Then one day, you eat a small spoonful. Instead of stopping there, you down the entire pint thinking, “I already screwed- up, so I might as well keep going.” 

This made me think about missing my morning meditation practice. I could have gone down the “what-the-hell” path. But I rejected the ‘all or nothing’ thinking. Yes, I made one sidestep that I was unhappy about. However, I stepped back in the following day, practiced, and gifted myself a fresh start.

3. When all else fails, let go.

I woke up to face the Insight Timer app. After my morning meditation, I knew that the consecutive days displayed wouldn’t increase to 391 but would revert to just 1. Ouch. My berating began again, which wasn’t helpful. I wanted to reframe my negative thoughts. I selected one of my favorite practices, Letting Go Meditation, guided by Annemaree Rowley. Before the meditation ended, she read a poem by Erin Hanson. I love the last line, “. . . not everything you ever lose, is bound to be a loss.” How true that is. I lost consecutive day 391. However, in doing so, I strengthened my commitment to my practice, remembered my why, and let go of the negative self-talk. 

“. . . not everything you ever lose, is bound to be a loss.”

— Erin Hanson

Is it possible to embrace a fresh start, especially when your habit or goal get derailed? You always have the opportunity to begin again. When you go off course, what helps you move forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.