We’re in the last week of this year and in full holiday mode. You may feel stressed, calm, conflicted, anxious navigating holiday dynamics, sad, lonely, ready for company, happy this year is almost over, excited about your plans for next, grateful, ambivalent, uncertain, exhausted, or off-balance. No matter where you are or what you are feeling, increasing your joy awareness will have a positive outcome. In fact, experiencing more joy will bring a powerful counter-balance to life’s challenges.

One of the highlights of my week is a regular meeting I have with the Executive Mom Nest advisors and members. Marcy Stoudt, the Nest founder, developed a four-pillar concept, which she integrates into our gatherings and her coaching work.

The pillars are:

• Vivid Vision

• Aligned Action

• Growth Mindset

• Prioritizing Joy

During our last meeting, we focused on the pillar, Prioritizing Joy. She asked us to bring forward the “feeling of joy” by listing things that make you feel “comforted, present, inspired, and just plain good.” This was such a powerful thing to do. I encourage you to take a few minutes to create your own list.

“Joy brings a powerful counter-balance to life’s challenges.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Here are fifty ways joy finds me:

1. Discovering bright spots of color in the bare winter landscape 

2. Putting on my new cozy purple slippers

3. Receiving an unexpected call or text from my kids

4. Hugging my husband

5. Having a deep conversation with a dear friend or loved one

6. Creating a colorful meal

7. Taking my first sip of morning coffee

8. Seeing twinkling lights, sparkles, and glitter

9. Clearing, cleaning, letting go, and organizing

10. Touching velvet

11. Eating fresh fruit and vegetables

12. Spotting a sign of spring like the first purple crocus that appears outside of our dining room window

13. Moisturizing, hydrating, and taking care of myself

14. Writing

15. Walking in the woods

16. Tending to my mini herb garden and flower pots

17. Watching the first big snow of the season

18. Wigging my toes in the sandy beach while hearing and seeing the ocean waves flow

19. Experiencing anything water-related – seeing, hearing, being, or playing in it

20. Doing yoga

21. Practicing mindfulness meditation

22. Having virtual organizing sessions with clients

23. Learning something new

24. Baking

25. Getting a massage

26. Seeing the light and patterns dance along surfaces

27. Swimming

28. Changing into my PJs

29. Taking photos and videos

30. Smelling lemons

31. Putting fresh flowers around my house

32. Feeling the sun on my skin

33. Watching, smelling, and listening to the crackling sounds of a fire

34. Getting into our cozy bed at the end of the day

35. Burning my favorite scented candles

36. Reading a book curled up on the sofa wrapped in a soft blanket 

37. Understanding something in a new way

38. Sharing something I love with someone I love

39. Humming

40. Sipping a cold iced tea with lemon on a hot day

41. Having a guilt-free “blob” day

42. Spending time with our family and friends

43. Setting a beautiful table

44. Seeing something I never noticed before

45. Traveling to somewhere new or familiar

46. Holding hands with my husband

47. Hearing birds chirping

48. Seeing gorgeous colors

49. Reading the hang tags on my Yogi Tea or the fortunes in my Fortune Cookies

50. Laughing so hard that tears roll down my cheeks

When we prioritize joy, we increase our awareness of tiny moments, which will bring more balance, resilience, and happiness into our lives. These moments are there for you, waiting to be noticed and embraced. What are a few things on your “joy” list? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

During a recent Advisor meeting with Marcy Stoudt, Executive Coach and founder of Executive Mom Nest, she talked about the great equalizer, which is the 24 hours we each have every day. We often think of those hours in terms of time management or how to best manage our time. Marcy proposed something I never heard before. Instead of thinking about time management, what if we reframed the concept to energy management? Considering this alternate perspective, you have an opportunity for less strain, better balance, and improved motivation.

Instead of focusing on the things that zap your energy, what makes you feel more energized? What are the motivating, energy-boosting activities you are already doing? What else can you incorporate into the day that feeds rather than depletes you? Most of us have at least a few activities that are demotivating and exhausting. What can you do to balance them and replenish your reserves?

Our days include:

• Having scheduled appointments

• Managing self-care basics

• Working on long or short-term projects

• Running errands

• Connecting with people and so much more.

Each requires a block of time. Instead of organizing your day by how much time things take, also consider their energy quotient. Match your higher brainpower activities with your more energetic times of the day. For the morning people like me, work on the more demanding things first. Don’t save them for the evening when your energy is low. Pay attention to what depletes you. To balance that drain, create white space in your day, incorporate rejuvenating moments, and match your natural energy rhythms to appropriate activities.

“Instead of thinking about time management, what if we reframed the concept to ‘energy’ management?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Thinking about my own energy management, these are some of the things I do that energize and nourish me:

• I prioritize self-care through meditation, journaling, walking, doing yoga, connecting with loved ones, eating healthfully, hydrating, and getting enough sleep.

• I am intentional with my time, avoid overscheduling, and include white space. That space enables me to make smoother, less stressful transitions between appointments and activities.

• I spend time with people whose company I enjoy.

• I work with virtual organizing clients that are motivated and committed to growth and change.

• I check in with myself throughout the day, listen to what I need, and adjust accordingly.

• I stop to smell the flowers, watch the grass blow in the breeze, feel the warm summer sun on my face, and hug my husband.

• I can go fast but choose not to rush.

• I stop doing, so I can just be.

• I am mindful and present. 

Have you considered energy management? How can it transform your relation to time, pacing, and motivation? What resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Have you ever felt stuck moving forward? Maybe you felt challenged with decision-making, figuring out the next step on a project, or making a significant life change. Over the last few months, we’ve talked about the influence and motivation boost that a fresh start brings and how to embrace change through thinking and actions. Many of you have done fantastic work around those concepts. But now what? You have ideas, energy, and motivation, but next feels elusive. It’s as if a fog has washed over you, and you’re waiting for it to lift.

Getting unstuck and finding next is a regular part of the work I do with my virtual organizing clients. It’s also something I experienced recently. Without going into the specifics about a new project I’m starting, I felt stuck with figuring out my next step. I will let you know more about the project at another time. (It’s not ready for prime time just yet.) For now, I will share three strategies, which helped me move forward, and can help you too.

Three Strategies to Get You Unstuck and Clear About Your Next Step

1. Capture the Ponderings

Our mind is the vessel that holds all of our ideas. Isn’t it incredible how it expands to house an infinite amount of thoughts? However, while our mind is vast, it is useful to download ideas to another container. We often call this a “brain dump.” You can write in a journal, capture notes in an electronic document, or talk into a voice recorder. The idea is to transfer your project ideas from your mind to a specifically designated location or home. This helps you isolate and organize those thoughts from the other million swirling ideas in the vessel.

I found this tremendously helpful for my project. I thought a lot about it but overwhelmed myself with all of the possible ideas and directions to take things. I could almost visualize the bullet points in my head, but it was too much to organize. So what did I do? I opened up a Word doc, created headers with bullet points. Seven pages later, my download was complete. I captured the project ideas on paper, and my mind felt freer. But even on paper, it was still a lot to assimilate. Next wasn’t obvious yet. That’s when I paired this with the second strategy.

2. Talk With a Gifted Listener

We have different processing modalities. For verbal processors, like me, writing and talking aloud helps me make sense of the world. It’s not just talking but conversing with someone who is a great listener and reflector. I recognized how helpful it would be to discuss my project with someone who asks great questions, listens deeply, provides valuable feedback, and was objective. I reached out to Marcy Stoudt, the very generous and insightful Executive Coach and Founder of The Executive Mom Nest. She helped me distill things so that by the time we finished our conversation, I felt more focused and clear, less overwhelmed, more energized, and ready to embrace the next steps. I used one additional strategy that helped bring everything together.

“Walking helped me define my essential next step.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. Walk in Nature

Research exists on the benefits to our mental health and well-being for walking in nature. Think forests, water bodies, gardens, grassy knolls, and mountains. Walking is part of my daily routine. I walk to shift my energy, stretch my body, and clear my head. To help me figure out the next steps for the project, I was specific about this particular walk. I wrote my notes and talked with Marcy. Walking helped me define my essential next step. Just as walking loosens and frees-up movement in the body, it has a similar effect on the mind. While I walked, I thought about what I wrote along with Marcy’s insights. I breathed in the fresh air, appreciated the beautiful Hudson River, and allowed my thoughts to simmer. My hope was by walking, my actual next step would magically appear.

Incredibly, it did! By the time I returned home, I knew what my next step was. You might be surprised by my choice. I decided to take a few days off from thinking about or taking action on the project. I needed balance at that moment. The project had been consuming my thoughts and creating undue stress. I needed some distance to move forward with clarity- not years or months, but just a few days.

There are many ways to get unstuck and figure out the next step. These three strategies- capture, talk, and walk helped me. I hope all or some of them will help you when you’re feeling challenged by next. Have you felt stuck recently? Has finding next been difficult? What helps you move forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation. 

Have you ever tried to create a new habit or behavior? Altering your habit cue will encourage a different result. For example, if you want to stop losing your keys, you can put a small bowl in a landing spot to catch your keys when you enter your home. The bowl becomes your new cue and helps to change your habit. No more misplaced keys because you have established a specific home where you will always find them. This sounds good, right? What happens when you successfully put your keys in the bowl for days, even months, and then one time you forget to do it? You frantically hunt for your misplaced keys and berate yourself for losing them. How do you bounce back from there? Do you give up? Do you engage in negative self-talk? Will you embrace a fresh start even after your break in continuity?

Recently, I had an upsetting experience with one of my habits. I’ve been practicing mindfulness meditation for four years. I’ve meditated almost daily with a gap here and there. For a while now, Insight Timer has been my favorite meditation app. Aside from the app offering diverse meditations and teachers to choose from, it also tracks my activity. So I know how many consecutive days I’ve meditated. To help keep me committed to my practice, I also use a daily repeat on my to-do list that cues me. 

So what happened? I intentionally deviated from my normal morning routine, including mindfulness meditation, so I could make a special birthday breakfast for my husband. My plan was to meditate later that day or at bedtime. However, the day got away from me for various reasons, and before I realized it, it was past midnight. I missed my practice that day. I’ve missed meditation practice a day or two at other times, so why was I so upset? I mentioned before that Insight Timer tracks my activity. Up until the other day, I had 390 consecutive days of practice. By missing that single day, the consecutive days counter restarted. I was so disappointed in myself. How could I have missed a day? The negative self-talk was quite insistent. And then something happened. I asked, “What lesson can I learn?” I wanted to shift my unhelpful thinking to a more positive, growth-oriented mindset.

“What lesson can I learn?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

3 Lessons Learned From My Break in Continuity

1. It’s just a number.

Seeing the consecutive days’ number increase after each meditation gives me a motivation boost. But the reason I meditate has nothing to do with the number. I meditate to feel calmer, provide quiet space, practice focus, shift attention, and be more mindful. None of those things have anything to do with a number. I don’t meditate for the gold star or days tracked by the app. However, by missing one practice, I recognized how reliant I had become on the tracker, which wasn’t healthy.

What I know is the more I practice, the better I feel, and the more I’m able to regulate my emotions. The 390 consecutive days I practiced aren’t lost. And the meditations ahead will continue to be helpful. I reminded myself to use the tracking if it helps but recognizing it only represents a tiny part of the entire story. 

2. Understand the “what-the-hell effect.”

I recently attended a meeting with fellow Executive Mom Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She talked about habit change and how certain actions can derail us. Monica described the “what-the-hell effect,” a term behavioral scientists use. It’s a feeling of shame we can experience when we mess up and deviate from a habit we’ve established. For example, let’s say you committed to not eating ice cream. You successfully eliminated it from your diet. Then one day, you eat a small spoonful. Instead of stopping there, you down the entire pint thinking, “I already screwed- up, so I might as well keep going.” 

This made me think about missing my morning meditation practice. I could have gone down the “what-the-hell” path. But I rejected the ‘all or nothing’ thinking. Yes, I made one sidestep that I was unhappy about. However, I stepped back in the following day, practiced, and gifted myself a fresh start.

3. When all else fails, let go.

I woke up to face the Insight Timer app. After my morning meditation, I knew that the consecutive days displayed wouldn’t increase to 391 but would revert to just 1. Ouch. My berating began again, which wasn’t helpful. I wanted to reframe my negative thoughts. I selected one of my favorite practices, Letting Go Meditation, guided by Annemaree Rowley. Before the meditation ended, she read a poem by Erin Hanson. I love the last line, “. . . not everything you ever lose, is bound to be a loss.” How true that is. I lost consecutive day 391. However, in doing so, I strengthened my commitment to my practice, remembered my why, and let go of the negative self-talk. 

“. . . not everything you ever lose, is bound to be a loss.”

— Erin Hanson

Is it possible to embrace a fresh start, especially when your habit or goal get derailed? You always have the opportunity to begin again. When you go off course, what helps you move forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.