Posts tagged stuck
5 Powerful Ways Learning at an Organizing Conference Encourages Possibilities

What happens when you have so many possibilities? Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you get stuck? Are you unable to make decisions or take action? It’s terrific to have options and know there are lots of possibilities. However, when the scope is too large, the choices can feel more like a burden than an inspiration.

Last week, I attended the ICD conference near Boston with over 100 organizing colleagues from around the globe. It felt amazing to be together in person again, be with my colleagues, and meet new friends. We learned from incredible experts during seven 90-minute sessions. It was wonderful, intense, and emotional. There were sessions about dementia, hoarding, neurodiversity, ADHD, anxiety, time management, and mindset.

By the end, my brain felt drippy, like a sponge that couldn’t absorb more liquid. Of course, I want to share everything I learned with you. As I sat to write this, I got overwhelmed by the options and possibilities. So, guess what? I’m dialing it back from my 16 pages of notes to share information from five of the sessions. I hope the ideas open up something for you- a new perspective, reframe, or possibility.

 

5 Powerful Ways Learning Encourages Possibilities

1. DEMENTIA | “I am who I am. I’m just different.”

Beth Nolan, PhD, the Director of Research and Policy for Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care™ (PAC), said there are 100+ causes and types of dementia. One way to help is to understand while dementia “robs” the person of many things, they still have skills and strengths. Identify and focus on those.

My mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2013 and passed away in 2021. While many of her abilities were compromised over those eight years, I was always inspired by what remained, like her ability to make music, play the piano, sing, and express love. She was still my mom, just different.

 

 

2. HOARDING | “Hoarding isn’t just a house problem. It’s a mental health problem.”

Dr. David Tolin, the Founder and Director of the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Institute for Living and Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine, said Hoarding Disorder became a standalone diagnosis in the 2013 DSM-5. The hallmarks of the disorder are having difficulty discarding or parting with possessions and having a visible manifestation of clutter build up with the home no longer useable for its intended purpose.

For people with Hoarding Disorder, “Saving happens because tossing is distressing, not liberating or freeing.”

Dr. Tolin shared these statistics:

  • The drive to acquire and save affects 2-5% of the population worldwide.

  • Hoarding Disorder is twice as common as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

  • Hoarding Disorder begins at a young age (6-16) and worsens with age. It does not get better on its own.

While Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most successful treatment methods for Hoarding Disorder, it is not 100% effective. Through continuing research, Dr. Tolin is committed to better understanding the psychology and biology of hoarding behavior and discovering ways to boost CBT’s efficacy.

 

Saving happens because tossing is distressing, not liberating or freeing.
— Dr. David Tolin

 

3. NEURODIVERSITY | “The value of life can’t and shouldn’t be based on productivity. It leaves a lot of people out.”

Devon Price, PhD, a social psychologist, professor, researcher, author, and proud Autistic person, was diagnosed with autism after finishing his PhD and experiencing “autistic burnout.”

Some of autism’s distinguishing characteristics include sensory input challenges, such as loud sounds and eye contact, which are painful. Processing is slower, but it’s a strength because they catch small details and are more detail-oriented. However, because the world moves fast, it doesn’t support how they process, so they feel more disabled.

Devon prefers identity-first language- “autistic person,” “autistic,” and “disabled person.” He said to avoid “differently abled” or “special needs.”

 

 

4. ADHD | “Successful ADHD women look successful on the outside and feel inadequate on the inside.”

Linda Roggli, PCC, creator of the ADHD Palooza series, a Professional Certified Coach, and author and founder of the A-D-Diva Network for ADHD women 40-and-better said she has an “ADHD brain.” 

The ADHD inattentive type is most prevalent in women. Some distinguishing factors include a busy brain, low energy, high worry, inability to concentrate, being distracted by one’s thoughts, daydreaming, difficulty following through and prioritizing, misplacing things, being talkative, impatient, having low self-esteem, not having great a working memory, making impulsive decisions, and feeling restless.

Roggli said understanding the impact of hormones on women with ADHD is essential. The brain works better with more estrogen. Estrogen affects dopamine. The ADHD brain lacks dopamine. Menopause decreases estrogen by 50% and keeps getting lower.

Most women with ADHD have comorbid conditions or “sidecars.” They include:

  • 30-40% - 1 Depressive episode

  • 50% - Learning differences

  • 10-20% Bipolar

  • 30% OCD

  • Up to 50% - Addictions

 

 

5. ANXIETY | “The more you care, the more you worry. Anxiety means I care. You can’t teach people not to care. You can only teach how to manage anxiety.”

Dr. Alicia Clark, a psychologist and author of Hack Your Anxiety, said 40% of people experience persistent stress, and only 36% get help. She also said:

  • Women suffer from anxiety 1.6 times more than men.

  • Post-pandemic, anxiety and depression increased by three times.

  • The visual distraction of clutter increases cognitive overload and decreases working memory.

Anxiety shows up in the “emotional landscape” of the organizing work we do with our clients. These can appear as fear of change, failure, facing emotional memory of things, letting go, and making mistakes.

Dr. Clark described four forms of anxiety – Whisper, Chatter, Nagging, and Yelling. She explained they are not all bad. Chatter anxiety is referred to as “good stress.” You can reframe anxiety and recognize that it drives motivation. She suggests using “anxiety to change what is in your control,” focusing on progress, reframing setbacks as part of the growth process, and getting adequate sleep.

 

Possibilities open up when we understand more about our psychological, emotional, and biological states. I was deeply moved by the presenters, the stories and insights they shared, and how they connected to many of my clients. It is a privilege to be part of their journey. I have the utmost respect and admiration for my clients’ determination and how they face their challenges.

What possibilities appeared for you? Did you discover any surprises? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
7 Ways to Joyfully Enlist Help Making Decisions When You're Really Stuck

One of the most common reasons my clients get stuck is being unsure about making decisions. A lack of confidence in decision-making might only affect specific areas. For example, they have no issue deciding which groceries to purchase or which social activities to attend. However, the decision-making challenge can surface when choosing how many black pants to let go of or where to begin organizing their home. It can feel like overwhelm, paralysis, or stress. This is an excellent time to reach out for help. There is no reason to remain in Stuckland.

There is another aspect to making decisions. Often, we’re on the fence about what to do. We have a few ideas but aren’t 100% sure which way to go. This is another terrific reason to enlist help. Use a decision-making buddy to help discuss options, weigh the pros and cons, or boost your confidence in making a choice.

 

7 Ways to Enlist Help Making Decisions

10 10 10 Rule

Before you make a decision, ask three questions:

  • 10 minutes from now, how will I feel about this decision?

  • 10 months from now, how will I feel about this decision?

  • 10 years from now, how will I feel about this decision?

 

40/70 Rule

Former Secretary of State Colin Powell used this approach when making a quick decision. He would aim not to decide with less than 40% of the information needed, then act when he had close to 70% of the data.

 

80/20 Rule

Known as the Pareto Principle, this rule says that 80% of the outcomes (or outputs) result from 20% of all causes (or inputs) for any event. We often use this in the organizing world. For example, we only wear 20% of our clothes or refer to 20% of the papers we file. With that recognition, opting to let go will be easier.

 

3 Elements of Decision-Making

  • ClarifyIdentify the decision to make or problem to solve.

  • Consider – Think about the options and the positive and negative consequences of each choice.

  • Choose – Choose the best choice.

 

When all else fails, flip a coin.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Golden Rules of Decision-Making

Make decisions when you’re . . .

  • not in pain and when your body feels strong

  • feeling loved and supported

  • feeling you are enough


Coin Flip

When all else fails, flip a coin. Heads you let ‘it’ go, tails you keep ‘it.” Then pay attention to how you react. Let your intuition guide you. Do the opposite of the coin toss result if the option doesn’t sit right in your gut.

 

Virtual Organizing

Decision-making is integral to all virtual organizing sessions with my clients. I provide support by:

  • Discussing the options

  • Holding space to think through a choice without feeling pressured

  • Setting boundaries around the decision

  • Reviewing pros and cons

  • Encouraging curiosity and experimentation

  • Empowering agency to make decisions

  • Focusing on progress, not perfection

 

These are just a few ways to boost your decision-making skills. What helps you get unstuck so you can make a decision? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Contact me, Linda, if you are stuck and need help and guidance to make decisions. Call at 914-271-5673, email linda@ohsoorganized.com, or click here. I’m here for you.

 
How to Revitalize Your Motivation Now Using Helpful Progress Principle Insights

In Essentialism, author and business strategist Greg McKeown says, “Research has shown that of all forms of human motivation the most effective one is progress.” How powerful is that? McKeown continues with, “Why? Because a small, concrete win creates momentum and affirms our faith in our future success.”

Have you experienced overwhelm or lack of clarity about a project or next step? Instead of being motivated, overwhelm creates inaction and paralysis. While keeping the big picture in mind can be helpful, it can also feel impossible to achieve. Think about the house you want to clear out to downsize and sell or the boxes of mementos and photos you have accumulated over decades that you need to edit and organize. You feel stuck and de-motivated because of the sheer volume of tasks and perceived time required to reach your goal.

Let’s return to the idea that progress is one of the most effective motivators. Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer developed the Progress Principle, resulting from a year-long study with hundreds of employees and over 12,000 analyzed diary entries. It highlights the essential role of progress in motivating people and improving their inner work lives. Here are some significant discoveries from the Progress Principle and its positive effect on motivation:

  • Progress contributes to a positive inner work life (psychological state), which leads to more progress and increases creativity, engagement, productivity, and performance.

  • Progress is the most significant indicator of employee happiness and performance, regardless of size. Even incremental progress has a positive effect on motivation.

  • The Progress Principle draws on our innate human need for achievement and growth. When people feel they are making progress, they experience fulfillment and satisfaction, which motivates them to continue striving.

  • The Progress Principle isn’t limited to the workplace. It can also be used for personal development and self-improvement. You can stay motivated and continue progressing toward your goals by recognizing and celebrating small wins.

... of all forms of human motivation the most effective one is progress.
— Greg McKeown

Are you struggling with motivation and activation? Are you stuck and finding it difficult to move forward? Advance one tiny action at a time. Notice how that boosts your motivation, builds confidence, and encourages a cycle of more movement. Trust the process. The act of doing creates momentum, motivation, and progress.

If you want help to figure out and take your next steps, contact me, Linda. Call at 914-271-5673, email linda@ohsoorganized.com, or click here. I’m here for you.

 
How to Gracefully Let Go When the Universe Sends You a Clear Message

Do you ever feel like the universe sends you a message you need to hear? It happened to me this week. Interestingly, what I received related to the letting go theme I’m writing about this month.

You might have read about last week’s letting go mishap when I accidentally deleted my entire email inbox. I recovered, only to be challenged by another ‘adventure’ this week. It’s a doozy! Clearly, the universe thinks I need more letting go practice.

Midweek, I woke up with 500+ other neighbors to the surprise of no Internet or phone due to “cut fibers.” Our service provider assured me it would be fixed within 24 hours, which seemed reasonable. However, I was on a deadline. I was putting the finishing touches on a Zoom workshop being presented the following day. While I had no choice in the technology glitch (it happened and was being worked on,) I did have a choice in how I responded.

There was some initial panic, where I engaged in numerous “what if?” scenarios.

  • What if it’s not fixed in time and I can’t present my workshop?

  • What if I can’t access the information I need to compile my notes?

  • What if the calm day I planned is turned upside down?

  • What if…?

After the panic, technology assessment, and the realization that I could do nothing at that moment, I started letting go. I talked calmly to myself so I could switch gears and put my energy toward completing my workshop notes. I couldn’t afford to have my attitude sabotage the day. Instead, I focused on what I could work on. I let go of what I had no control over, did some creative problem-solving, and stopped the worry-stress-negative self-talk-loop.

I went to Starbucks in the afternoon for Internet access and a much-needed coffee break. I checked a few resources for my notes and caught up on email. I sat by the river and walked down the block to smell the fragrant lilacs. These actions kept me calm and focused.

Let go of what you have no control over.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

By the evening, I finished my workshop notes and made alternate plans for presenting if I had no Internet the next day. I also realized how much more I accomplished without interruptions or distractions from the Internet, social media, and the phone.

Are you curious about what happened? When I woke the next day, the Internet and phones were restored. I gave my workshop, which went well, with good attendance and participation. Can you hear my giant exhale?

Life is full of surprises and curve balls. You can’t anticipate when they’ll arrive or what they’ll be. But as always, you do have a choice in how to respond. You can get stuck and paralyzed by the emergency or let go to allow focus, resilience, creativity, and growth to thrive.

How does letting go show up in your life? I’d love to hear your stories and thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.