As the holiday season arrives, there is much to be grateful for. There are gatherings and celebrations to look forward to with your favorite humans. There are moments of simple ordinary joy like taking your first sip of hot coffee in the morning, crossing off a task from your to-do list, or receiving an encouraging message from a friend. When things are going well, gratitude comes easily, and you lean into those positive feelings. What happens when you experience unpleasantness, inconveniences, or heartbreak? Are you able to navigate with compassion and patience?

I’m having a terrible moment, although I recognize it’s fixable and will pass. My computer is giving me BIG trouble. Yes. I talked with tech support and am working on the problem. There’s more to do, but I guess it’s time to replace my computer. This is not something I want to do right now, but it’s also no fun having my computer crash continually, go as slow as molasses, and not be able to handle the work I do each day. Time, the most precious commodity, is being wasted. My frustration levels are increasing.

During the educational NERCPO conference this weekend, presenter Rubina Motta spoke about productivity and eliminating waste in your processes. She said waste is “anything that adds cost or time without adding value.” Was she talking to me? Rubina explained the “seven deadly wastes,” of which “waiting” was one of them. I understand how waiting is essential and unavoidable at times. However, waiting for my computer programs to load while the multicolored wheel spins or reboots because the computer froze again, I could do without.

There’s a quote by author L.R. Knost, who shares a perspective about life that is both realistic and hopeful. She said,

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

“Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. ”

— L.R. Knost

I love Knost’s advice, which I’m going to follow right now.

I will breathe in the amazing as I . . .

• Marvel at the deep rich red maple leaves dotting the fall landscape

• Spend time with my loved ones

• Walk along the river and in the woods

• Enjoy the flavors, textures, and scents of the foods I eat

• Hear music that makes me well up with emotion

• What amazing things will you breathe in?

I will hold on through the awful as I . . .

• Figure out what tech steps are needed next

• Grieve for the family and friends who have passed

• What awful things are you navigating?

I will relax and exhale during the ordinary as I . . .

• Do my daily mindfulness meditation

• Practice yoga

• Journal

• Brush my teeth

• Shower

• Organize my days

• Get into bed at night

• What ordinary things are you relaxing into?

Life is a mix of emotions, experiences, joy, heartbreak, and more. Some days are more challenging than others. Extend extra compassion to yourself as you navigate life’s ups and downs. Breathe, hold on, and relax through all that is before you. What are you noticing now? What is your time and attention feeding? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The other day, I took an early evening walk along the Hudson River with my friend. Towards the end of our walk, the sun began to set and what I saw was incredible. The coolness of the light blue sky and deep blue water slowly shifted to warmer tones. As the round ball of sun lowered towards the horizon, its glow cast orange shimmers of light on the landscape. The visual change was magnificent. We sat on the rocks to take in the view.

If I had kept walking without looking or being mindful, I would have missed this spectacular moment. You might wonder, how is it possible to miss such a thing? It is.

You can walk but not notice what surrounds you. You can rush through your day getting stuff done but miss mindful moments of presence, joy, or calm. You can eat a meal but not savor the flavors and textures of your food. You can have a conversation but not listen to what the other person is saying. You can live in a cluttered environment but ignore how its heaviness is impacting you.

There are many ways not to be mindful. So often, we live on autopilot. We move from thing to thing without questioning, noticing, pausing, or enjoying. What becomes possible when we bring more mindfulness into our lives? A walk in nature with a friend becomes an opportunity to engage in a wonderful conversation while appreciating the changing scenery. A mindful meal creates a chance to slow down enough to taste the delicious flavors.

“There are many ways NOT to be mindful.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Have you found yourself rushing through life? What would a life with more pauses and mindful moments look and feel like? How would that change your perspective and experience? What is one thing you can do now to add more mindfulness to your day? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Having an array of emotions is part of being human. There are no good or bad ones. However, at times, our strong emotions can make clear thoughts challenging. In fact, some emotions like anxiety, sadness, or fear can cause procrastination or completely zap our motivation.

When the amygdala, the primitive, emotional region of the brain, becomes the boss, it creates a cycle that activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight.) The good news is many self-help strategies are available to help switch your internal gears from fight or flight to the rest and digest, parasympathetic nervous system mode.

When calmer, you can more readily access the pre-frontal cortex, a part of the brain that helps with decision-making, organization, attention, planning, emotional regulation, and impulse control. In this more relaxed state, you can reset and access the motivation to move forward.

Recently, I attended a meeting with fellow Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She led a workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.) The four-step process is helpful when making behavioral changes. ACT encourages working towards a value rather than avoiding something. In other words, focus your energy on something positive you want to be or do instead of on something negative you wish to avoid.

The ACT process:

1. Identify a value. Who or what do I want to be?

2. Identify feelings. What “yucky” feelings get in the way?

3. Identify relief valves. When you feel these things, what behaviors occur?

4. Create a nourishment menu. What behaviors will feel helpful, sustainable, and give perspective when experiencing the “yucky” feelings?

Your nourishment menu is where self-help strategies thrive. For example, when feeling anxious, you might engage in negative self-talk, binge-watching, or eating sugar-heavy snacks. What if you acknowledged and noticed those feelings when you felt anxious and instead, engaged in more helpful behaviors from the nourishment menu? Below are some suggestions. I’d love to know which of these or other ones work best for you.

20 Self-Help Strategies - Nourishment Menu

• Journal

• Meditate

• Take a walk

• Change your setting

• Organize or clean

• Create boundaries

• Breathe slowly

• Get a massage

• Hug a loved one for at least 20 seconds

• Run or exercise

• Watch leaves flutter

• Light a scented candle

• Use humor

• Rest

• Read

• Pet your dog or cat

• Listen to or play music

• Take a shower or bath

• Help someone else

• Talk with a friend, family member, or professional

I had a recent anxiety-inducing experience when I inadvertently deleted the most current 45 days of emails from my inbox. After long calls with tech support at Apple and Carbonite, it became clear that the emails might be retrieved, but not without many more hours spent with tech support and possibly worse complications.

A tech hiccup is never convenient. My plans to accomplish a lot that day were derailed because of the anxiety inability to focus. At a point, I decided to let it go and not retrieve the emails. However, I was still anxious and not functioning well. My emotions were in high gear, and my brain was foggy. So what did I do?

“Your ‘nourishment menu’ is where self-help strategies thrive.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I grabbed my journal and wrote. As the inky pen glided along the smooth paper, my heart beat rapidly, and my stomach was in knots. I wrote about the ‘gone’ emails, my anxious feelings, the power they had to deactivate my motivation, the shift in my emotional state of feeling calmer as I wrote, and the choice to let this go and move on. I noticed my environment (birds chirping, trees swaying), took several deep breaths, and shifted gears to write about positive memories from the mini vacation we just had.

After journaling, I met a dear friend for a walk along the river. We talked, laughed, and I shared the email saga with her. Not knowing about the nourishment menu at the time, I realized after how I had used several of these strategies to calm my anxiety, let go, and reset.

What self-help strategies work for you when your strong emotions take over? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

This spring was the first time I grew lettuce in my tiny garden. Since we eat a lot of lettuce, I thought it would be an excellent vegetable to grow. However, until recently, I didn’t know I planted not just lettuce but magic lettuce. It turns out that magic lettuce has a lot to teach us about clutter.

You’re probably wondering what makes my lettuce special? For experienced gardeners, it might seem like plain old lettuce. However, as a newbie gardener, I am amazed and delighted at how quickly it replenishes. I can pick leaves to make a big salad one night, and two days later, the lettuce is back to its pre-picked size. 

I love nurturing and watering the plants, which help them thrive. While I have an abundance of lettuce, it’s the right amount to feed us. I pick it frequently enough, so it doesn’t get too cluttered or overgrown. 

3 Little Lessons ‘Magic Lettuce’ Taught Me About Clutter

1. It’s All in the Edit

The lettuce will grow out of control and become a waste if it goes unchecked and unpicked. This is also true of our physical clutter. If we collect things without trimming or editing, our possessions will overtake our space. 

2. The Abundance Perspective

Abundance can be positive or negative depending upon your perspective. I experience constant joy in harvesting fresh greens for our salads. I embrace the abundance but also manage to keep the plants balanced.

With physical clutter, you might enjoy having a lot of some things like shoes or a particular collectible. I’m a Pez dispenser collector. However, you might feel overwhelmed by too many papers, books, or kitchen gadgets. Our attitude about abundance is influenced by what “too much” means. Know and manage your limits.

“Clutter will increase if you don’t create intentionality and boundaries for your stuff.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

3. My ‘Magic Clutter’ Theory

I explained my theory about magic lettuce and how quickly it grows. Have you encountered magic clutter?  My clients often describe their clutter as “growing overnight” or “it keeps coming back.”  In the case of lettuce, magic is a positive thing. However, the magic aspect is negative with clutter because most of my clients want less of it. They definitely don’t want it to return.

Lettuce needs to be intentionally nurtured to grow. The opposite is true with clutter, which will increase if you don’t create intentionality and boundaries for your stuff.

When it comes to lettuce, I love that it grows continually. I don’t feel that way about clutter. Activating the edit, understanding your perspective, and creating intentionality will help you become clutter-free. What enables you to keep clutter in check? Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts, and I invite you to join the conversation.

If you are overwhelmed by clutter and want to create a peaceful balance with your stuff, I’m here to help. Let’s talk. Contact me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, 914-271-5643, or click here.