This week is Thanksgiving. We’re experiencing a collective array of emotions such as sadness and disappointment because we can’t celebrate in person with our family and friends. Or, on the other end of the spectrum, we might feel joy and resolve that we’ve figured out new ways to mark the holidays. This isn’t a normal holiday season with the pandemic still in full force. I don’t know about you, but as someone who looks forward to our family tradition of hosting a large Thanksgiving gathering, I struggled with not having it this year.

Recently, during a conversation with our oldest daughter, Allison, she said that we’re experiencing a collective cognitive dissonance. What our heart wants and what our mind knows the safe choice to be is in conflict. In that one sentence, she summed up what I was feeling. This push-pull of what I wanted versus what I knew was the right thing to do. I’m not judging. People will decide what “right” means for them. For our family, it meant not having an in-person gathering.

How do we shift from a place of sadness to one where we can enjoy this season in the midst of a pandemic? I have a five ideas to help. I’d love to know what you are experiencing and planning, so please share your stories too.

5 Ways to Enjoy Pandemic-Time Holidays

Express Gratitude

We often refer to this time of year as the season of gratitude. Let’s focus on gratitude for what is, instead of what isn’t. We can feel grateful for the people we love, even if we can’t be physically together. Those who have found ways to safely gather, and we can be grateful for our smaller pods. Gratitude is present in our connections, love, good health, breath, and humanity. There is so much to be grateful for, even during a pandemic. 

Give Permission

My friend and colleague, Yota Schneider, offered a “Home for the Holidays” retreat to create a space for people to process their thoughts and feelings about this atypical holiday season. I signed up, and it was just what I needed. I felt camaraderie with the other attendees as we shared our challenges, ideas, and possibilities. Yota is so wise. She said, “Our capacity for love and celebration cannot be diminished.” She asked us to consider, “Can I give myself permission to celebrate in a new way?”  At that moment, something released within me. I wrote down, “Permission granted.  – Linda S.” That single question helped me open my heart and thoughts, and to gift myself permission to lean into celebration without judgment, doubt, or reservation.

“Our capacity for love and celebration cannot be diminished.”

— Yota Schneider

Get Creative

Maybe you’re like me, and you’re not having a large Thanksgiving gathering this year. My husband and I have hosted this holiday for many years, and it’s one we love and look forward to. To keep everyone safe, we knew it was a no-go. With help from our daughters, we figured out another way of celebrating. We’re having a virtual Thanksgiving meal with our daughters and their partners.

We’ll cook in advance in our own homes. We’ve exchanged one recipe each and will make those basic four recipes and then anything else we want for our meals. We’ll have the same “shared” food and some different dishes too- sausage stuffing from Steve, a special salad from Allison, brown butter cardamom cookies from Cassie, and cranberry sauce from yours truly. Then on Zoom, we’ll eat, talk, toast from our homes, and be together in a safe yet connected way.

We also set up two Zoom calls for the Friday after Thanksgiving to “be together” with our kids, siblings, nieces, and nephews.

Make Favorites

Aside from being with family and friends, Thanksgiving is about the food. I’m salivating just thinking about the smells and tastes of turkey, gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, and apple and pumpkin pies. Steve and I realized that we could still make our favorite dishes even if we didn’t have the entire crew over. Why not? Since it will just be the two of us, I thought that I should scale back and only make one pie. But I’m going to lean in, go for it, and make both. It’s not just about eating, but the enjoyment of baking too. We’ll have lots of yummy leftovers.

“The initial sadness for not being able to gather has morphed into positive anticipation for the ways we’ve reimagined the holiday.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Anticipate Celebration

The unexpected outcome is that I’m now enjoying texting, emailing, and talking with the family about our virtual get-togethers and plans. Everyone is happy that we’ve found a way to share the love and connect, even from a distance. My heart feels full, like it usually does before, during, and after in-person events. I’m feeling that holiday spirit and extra warmth that comes from spending time with our family. The initial sadness for not being able to gather has morphed into positive anticipation. I’m looking forward to the way we reimagined Thanksgiving this year. 

How are you doing with your holiday planning? Will your holidays be different this year, or the same as usual? What changes have you made? What are you looking forward to? I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. I invite you to join the conversation.

The latest installment (v29) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature is here with my recent discoveries that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. I’ve included unique and inspiring, wonderfully human-related finds, which reflect this month’s blog theme. You are such a beautifully generous, warm, and engaged group. I am deeply appreciative and grateful for your presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community.

I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced. What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? . . .

1. Interesting Read – Human Living

The pandemic encouraged many of us to examine the busyness of our lives. If you are interested in exploring a more intentional, less stressful life, this book is for you.  In Slow - Simple living for a frantic world, Brooke McAlary, author, blogger, and podcast host, shares her inspiring journey to remove the excess in her life and embrace the Slow Living movement. McAlary says, “Slowing down and simplifying aren’t centered solely on the idea of decluttering, but letting go of excess is an important part of slowing down.” McAlary’s practical advice for simpler living includes identifying your why, decluttering, de-owning, mindfulness, balance, and backsliding. She reminds us that “Perfect doesn’t exist...What does exist is honest, human imperfect change. Every tiny step matters.”  

“Perfect doesn’t exist . . . What does exist is honest, human imperfect change.””

— Brooke McAlary

2. Interesting Product – Human Habit

Wearing masks, social distancing, and regular handwashing are respectful habits we can do to keep each other healthy and safe during this pandemic. My wonderful friend and colleague, Julie Bestry, recently wrote a review of a fabulous new product, the Time Timer® WASH. Thank you, Julie! This visual and auditory timer helps kids and adults wash their hands for the proper amount of time. My favorite part about the timer is the upbeat music that accompanies the visual display. Think kitchen or bathroom dance party! The timer gives you 5 seconds to apply soap, 20 seconds to scrub your hands, and 5 seconds to rinse. The fun factor encourages a handwashing habit. Let’s do our part to help our fellow humans.

3. Interesting Research  – Human Attention

Amishi Jho, the neuroscientist, author, and associate professor of psychology at the University of Miami, studies attention. Jho and her team research VUCA (Volatility Uncertainty, Complexity, Ambiguity,) which involves “high-stress, high demand scenarios that can rapidly degrade one of our most powerful and influential brain systems: our attention.” They look at people who encounter regular VUCA conditions due to their professions, such as firefighters and soldiers. She identified that the global pandemic has all of us living with VUCA conditions. In her recent Mindful article, “You’re Overwhelmed (and it’s not your fault,)” she describes ten ways your brain reacts in VUCA situations and how regular mindfulness meditation can be the key to calming your mind and enhancing your attention. 

4. Interesting Article – Human Anticipation

Have you planned fewer (if any) events to look forward to this year because of pandemic restrictions? As a result, have you noticed a negative change in your mood? According to Dana Smith’s article, Your Brain Needs a Party, which was reprinted on the Brainfit blog, the anticipation of future events enhances your overall well-being. So if you, along with much of the country, have been feeling down, and our current situation continues to discourage having large parties or travel excursions experiment with “microdosing anticipation,” as Markham Heid suggests. Psychologist Christian Waugh encourages, “Instead of thinking big or way in the future, think smaller and closer in time.” For instance, how about planning a drive to explore local scenery, setting a date to Zoom with a treasured friend or family member, or planning a scaled-down Thanksgiving meal for your household pod. I see cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie in your future. Your brain’s “positive anticipation circuit” will reward you with the emotional boost you may be missing.

5. Interesting Thought – Human Acceptance

Life includes experiencing challenges big and small. We can be our biggest cheerleaders or worst critics when we go through struggles. Whether you are challenged by disorganization, learning difficulties, grief, or other issues, be kind to yourself. Accept your humanness. Reach out for help when you need it. And as Brene Brown says, let go of shame.

What are your interesting finds? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!

What a week it was with a contentious election, rising COVID-19 cases, and so much unrest. To cope, we’ve been doing many things to quiet the stress. How have you been coping? I’ve been teetering between engaging in healthy and not-so-healthy activities. The unhealthy ones have included baking (and eating with some help) a tray of brownies with espresso chocolate chips and making two big pots of macaroni and cheese. On the healthy side, I’ve continued to meditate at least once a day, take walks outside, practice yoga, eat fruits and vegetables, and talk with family and friends. I’ve been on the look for those moments of calm and joy. Even when life is challenging, joy is present.

Last week, one of my good friends and colleagues, Yota Schneider, wrote a wonderful post, On Absorbing Joy. She asks, “What gives you joy?”  I love that question because it puts us in a positive seeking mode. And in case you are stuck, Yota offers many suggestions to seek joy-inducing opportunities, which include “engaging your senses” and “having a good conversation with your loved ones.” 

“Even in the midst of the chaos, joy kept finding me.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

This past week has been a rollercoaster of moods and emotions. Yet even in the midst of the chaos, joy kept finding me. I felt it as I noticed the light gracing a bright red leaf. I experienced joy when . . .

• I giggled and laughed on the phone with my Aunt Bert.

• I listened to the sound of the river lapping against the shore.

• I heard the rustle of the crunchy fall leaves as they fluttered on the tree branches.

• I felt the sun warming my face after many rainy, gray days.

• I received an all purple surprise birthday package and card from an old friend.

• I read two magazines cover-to-cover without any interruptions.

• I saw my mom smile after waking up from a short nap.

• I bit into the freshly baked, very hot, intensely chocolate brownie.

• I visited with family after being apart for over a year.

• I climbed into our cozy bed at night and snuggled next to my husband.

As human beings, we have a tremendous capacity for joy, even during uncertain times. How have you been coping this week? What healthy or not-so-healthy coping strategies did you use? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

As human beings, we can access life’s small things that can bring joy, gratitude, and some normalcy into our lives. And right now, at this moment in time, couldn’t you use a small piece of that? Life feels especially tumultuous with COVID-19 numbers soaring, a presidential election building to a crescendo, countries and regions returning to lockdowns, social, economic, political unrest, a recession, job and housing losses, and an undercurrent of anxiety. We’re resilient humans, but this a lot to live through and process.

A few months ago, my friend shared an article by science journalist Tara Haelle, Your ‘Surge Capacity’ Is Depleted – It’s Why You Feel Awful. It’s a must-read. One of the questions Tara asked spoke to me. I wrote it down to save for a rainy day, and today is that day. Tara asked,

“How do you adjust to an ever-changing situation where the ‘new normal’ is indefinite uncertainty?”

— Tara Haelle

I love her question! How do we adjust when there are so many unknowns? How do we change when our energy is depleted from being in a chronic state of crisis? While I am confident that you will find your way forward despite the uncertainty, Tara offers many suggestions, which include . . .

• Recognizing you’re experiencing loss

• Accepting now that life is different

• Expecting less from yourself

• Focusing on self-care

• Deepening your relationships

• Nurturing your “resilience bank account”

I’m going to add one more, which is honoring a commitment to yourself or someone else. One of the promises I made to myself during the pandemic was to walk every day. Getting outside in nature has been essential for my well-being, mind, and body. Walking may not seem like a big deal, but it took a pandemic for me to turn this into a daily habit. Here’s the thing. I’m not a fan of rain and cold weather. Our New York spring has morphed into summer and now fall. The weather, feeling more wintry, has become a less desirable condition for my walks.

Yesterday was yucky. Yes. I did just use that word. It was cold, damp, and rainy. It was the afternoon, and I hadn’t yet walked. But I made a commitment, right? I opened the front door to investigate the situation and quickly closed it, announcing to my husband that it didn’t look like a good day for a walk. He asked me a simple question, “Don’t you have your purple rain boots?” He didn’t criticize me or make me feel bad for almost going back on my promise. Instead, he gently reminded me that I had the tools I needed.

Steve knows how much I love my purple rubber rain boots. The thought of wearing them motivated me to venture out. I put them on, added a few extra layers for warmth, a rain jacket, gloves, mask, and umbrella. The two of us headed outside in the rain. I loved the sound as the rain tapped on the umbrella. The rubber boots made my feet feel bouncy with each step on the pavement. I appreciated Steve’s company as we talked, walked, and noticed the changing fall landscape.

At that moment in time, surrounded by the rain, there was a feeling of normalcy, some calm within, and a sense of satisfaction that I kept my commitment with some encouragement from Steve.

From one human to another, when normalcy feels elusive, what helps you? What resources from within can you access? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.