Posts tagged loved ones
How to Have Compassion Navigating Life's Every Day Amazing, Awful, and Ordinary Experiences

As the holiday season arrives, there is much to be grateful for. There are gatherings and celebrations to look forward to with your favorite humans. There are moments of simple ordinary joy like taking your first sip of hot coffee in the morning, crossing off a task from your to-do list, or receiving an encouraging message from a friend. When things are going well, gratitude comes easily, and you lean into those positive feelings. What happens when you experience unpleasantness, inconveniences, or heartbreak? Are you able to navigate with compassion and patience?

I’m having a terrible moment, although I recognize it’s fixable and will pass. My computer is giving me BIG trouble. Yes. I talked with tech support and am working on the problem. There’s more to do, but I guess it’s time to replace my computer. This is not something I want to do right now, but it’s also no fun having my computer crash continually, go as slow as molasses, and not be able to handle the work I do each day. Time, the most precious commodity, is being wasted. My frustration levels are increasing.

 

During the educational NERCPO conference this weekend, presenter Rubina Motta spoke about productivity and eliminating waste in your processes. She said waste is “anything that adds cost or time without adding value.” Was she talking to me? Rubina explained the “seven deadly wastes,” of which “waiting” was one of them. I understand how waiting is essential and unavoidable at times. However, waiting for my computer programs to load while the multicolored wheel spins or reboots because the computer froze again, I could do without.

There’s a quote by author L.R. Knost, who shares a perspective about life that is both realistic and hopeful. She said,

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary.
— L.R. Knost

I love Knost’s advice, which I’m going to follow right now.

I will breathe in the amazing as I . . .

  • Marvel at the deep rich red maple leaves dotting the fall landscape

  • Spend time with my loved ones

  • Walk along the river and in the woods

  • Enjoy the flavors, textures, and scents of the foods I eat

  • Hear music that makes me well up with emotion

  • What amazing things will you breathe in?


I will hold on through the awful as I . . .

  • Figure out what tech steps are needed next

  • Grieve for the family and friends who have passed

  • What awful things are you navigating?

 

I will relax and exhale during the ordinary as I . . .

  • Do my daily mindfulness meditation

  • Practice yoga

  • Journal

  • Brush my teeth

  • Shower

  • Organize my days

  • Get into bed at night

  • What ordinary things are you relaxing into?

 

Life is a mix of emotions, experiences, joy, heartbreak, and more. Some days are more challenging than others. Extend extra compassion to yourself as you navigate life’s ups and downs. Breathe, hold on, and relax through all that is before you. What are you noticing now? What is your time and attention feeding? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
What Can You Easily Let Go of Now to Reap One Astounding Harvest?

The last few weeks have been flowing forcefully with a mixture of highs and lows. How have they been for you? I had the joy of speaking at the 3rd International Virtual Summit for Virtual Organisers and exchanging ideas with colleagues from around the globe. On the other end of the emotional spectrum, I experienced the profound loss of my brother-in-law, Larry, while simultaneously marking the first anniversary of my mom’s passing and the tenth anniversary of my dad’s.

When we lose our loved ones, a certain amount of letting go happens because their physical presence ceases to exist. However, they remain with us through our stories, memories, and dreams.

Last month, I read something inspiring that author Todd Henry wrote. He asked,

“What kind of harvest do you want to reap a year from now? And what seeds are you planting right now that will increase your chances of seeing those results?”

When we think about the “harvest” we want to reap, it’s as much about the seeds we nurture as it is about letting go of those things that hinder growth. I often see this with my clients. Their goal is to declutter, let go, and get organized. Clear, calm physical and mental space is the harvest they seek. Yet, it’s essential to let go of some belongings, unhelpful habits, and negative self-talk to get there. The goal is clear, but the journey can be challenging. Progress happens when we finally lean into letting go.

Progress happens when we finally lean into letting go.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Circling back to the highs and lows of these past weeks, I think about how they relate to reaping. When I pivoted my business to virtual organizing, I planted various seeds that led to beautiful harvests, including new clients, speaking engagements, and exciting business and media opportunities. I let go of how I used to work, stayed flexible, and reimagined my organizing business. I continue to plant and nurture new seeds as I navigate the changing landscape.

When Larry died on the heels of my mother and father’s anniversaries, I thought about the relationship seeds I planted for all of these decades. Those were nurtured and resulted in close, loving bonds. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, even though my heart aches as I let go. There will be no more phone conversations, hand-holding, or hugs. Instead, I will remember my loved ones in the scent of the pine needles, the laughter at silly jokes, and the road trip quests for homemade pies. 

We plant seeds and nurture them. We lean in and let go. What can you let go of to accomplish the goals you seek? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
4 Inspired Mindfulness Cues From Something You Absolutely Won't Expect
4 Inspired Mindfulness Cues From Something You Absolutely Won’t Expect

Mindfulness practice is visible in several ways. There is the formal practice of mindfulness meditation and the informal practice of living mindfully. I engage in both daily, but not 100% of the time. Practicing mindfulness is being in the present moment with awareness of what you’re doing, feeling, or sensing without judgment. That can include focusing on the breath moving in and out of your body, returning your keys to their designated ‘home,’ noticing the leaves turning bright red as the season shifts, or feeling the tightness in your belly as you return to the office after working from home for the past 18 months. The body and mind constantly give us cues and opportunities to practice mindfulness and bring us back to the present moment.

Recently I found mindfulness cues and inspiration from an unlikely source- my cordless phone. Yes. I still have a landline. The messages displayed on the front of the telephone describe its status. While they serve a specific purpose in letting me know what my phone is doing, the words triggered ideas connected to mindfulness practices. As you continue reading, notice which cues and concepts resonate with you.

 

 

4 Mindfulness Cues I Discovered on My Phone

1. “Fully charged”

What does it mean to be “fully charged?” Are you ready for your day? Are you focused, aware, and living in this moment? In a mindfulness context, consider this as a reminder to be present. Be like that red “You Are Here” marker on a map. You are not ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. Your feet are firmly planted on the ground and you are here now. You are available and present.

 

 

2. “Missed call”

I mentioned earlier how I engage in daily mindfulness practice, but not 100% of the time. A “missed call” indicates you weren’t available when someone reached out. The person chose not to leave a message. Does that sound familiar? I equate the “missed call” to how our mind tends to wander, which is normal. Being aware when you’ve strayed brings you back to the present moment to engage more fully in your life. A mindful presence will improve your relationships, work, and pursuits.

 

A mindful presence will improve your relationships, work, and pursuits.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

 

3. “Voice message”

Unlike the missed call, which has no message attached, the “voice message” includes information requiring a response or action. Considering mindfulness, what words do you tell yourself? Are they uplifting or self-deprecating? Is it time to record a new message? Use the “voice message” cue as a mindfulness check-in and a way to support your best self.

 

 

4. “Charging”

When we’re distracted, over-extended, and overwhelmed, it’s easy to skip the basics. We’re so entrenched with doing that we forget about our needs. In this stressed state, it’s more challenging to incorporate mindfulness. We eliminate the importance of renewal or “charging.” Our electronics need to be juiced up, or they stop working. Our minds and bodies need rejuvenation, too, or we’ll cease to function well. Let the “charging” cue be your self-care reminder. What helps you refocus and relax? For me, sleep is essential. But I also like to journal, meditate, do yoga, read, sit in the sun, be or talk with loved ones, watch movies, and walk by the water and woods. What will you include in your mindfulness charging station?

Just like my phone, many of our devices display messages. Usually, we take them at face value, which is how they were designed to function. But it’s fun to find inspiration and extend their meaning to create more mindfulness in our lives. Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
 
How Has Uncertainty Inspired Your Time to Be Different?
How Has Uncertainty Inspired Your Time to Be Different?

The world took one significant pause these past months with quarantines and stay-in-place orders. Each day we lived with a continually changing landscape, uncertainty, and stress. Some of us became ill, lost loved ones, or jobs. Some of us retreated and hoped that things would return to normal soon. Some of us did our best to keep it together because others relied on us to teach, lead, or comfort. We lost track of time and found it hard to remember which day it was. 

There have been inspired ways we’ve chosen to use our time, even with the hardships we’ve faced and difficulties we are still navigating. Because all of a sudden, we had time to spend in ways that we never expected. While there were the binge-watching-chocolate eating-no-showering days, we also crawled out from the covers to experiment. We created music, baked bread, knitted, made masks, gardened, wrote, invented, and delivered groceries to those in need. We Zoomed with loved ones near and far. We slowed down. From this pause and interruption, some of us found time to reflect and create. Some positive and unexpected outcomes emerged.

In recent posts, I’ve written about some of my calming and creative outlets like mindfulness meditation, yoga, walking, baking, writing, and photographing.  Something else surfaced for me during this time. Many of my friends are gardeners. I’ve always admired their ability to plant, nurture, and make things grow. I have vivid and happy memories of the few times in my life when I picked fresh fruit and vegetables. Yet in all these years, I convinced myself that I couldn’t grow stuff qualified by a host of good excuses. So, aside from one failed attempt at planting tomatoes over three decades ago, I never tried. How sad is that?

This time of the pandemic has been fascinating because experimentation feels less scary.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

This time of the pandemic has been fascinating because experimentation feels less scary. There is a feeling of “Why not?” or “Things are already so strange. What do I have to lose?” I noticed that my thoughts about gardening kept surfacing. My internal musings became impossible to ignore. So I began discussing with friends that I was thinking about making an edible garden. They were so encouraging and had many great ideas.

Now here’s where things got tricky. While I was thinking about all of the delicious vegetables I could plant, I started feeling overwhelmed. I wasn’t sure if it would work, if it would be too hard, or if I’d enjoy the work. I thought about the advice I share with overwhelmed clients when their organizing goals feel too big. Start small and build from there.

I thought about the advice I share with overwhelmed clients when their organizing goals feel too big. Start small and build from there.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

I took my own advice and decided to begin with a few herbs (and one tomato plant) to grow in our greenhouse. How hard could that be? It turns out that it wasn’t difficult at all. Not only that, but I loved digging in the dirt, arranging the plants, smelling their fresh scents, and watering them. I’m excited about my tiny, doable, not overwhelming garden. It might be a stretch to call it a garden, but I’m going to anyway.

Tiny edible garden

I recognize that to some, especially the seasoned gardeners might think my story sounds ridiculous. Perhaps you’re thinking, “What’s the big deal? She just planted some herbs in a pot.” I get it. But to me, it represents getting over myself and being open to something that, for years, I convinced myself I couldn't do. I figured out how to create a garden on my terms. Perhaps it will stay small. Maybe the plants will die. However, this also might be the start of a new passion. Time will tell.

With so much destruction and strife in the world right now, it feels good to focus on growing and creating. Has the pandemic inspired you to use your time differently? Have you been experimenting more? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.