Happy New Year! Hello to you and to 2022. Your blank slate is ready to be painted with a wash of gorgeous colors. Behind are the successes and challenges you experienced during the last twelve months. A new level of energy and motivation is here. You can start again and chase the dreams and goals you desire. The New Year cues us for a do-over, reset, or reinvention.

Have you already done your reflecting and planning? Maybe you don’t like to reflect or plan. For me, there are years such as this one, where that process happens in January rather than December. There is no right, wrong, or one way. There are many paths, including making resolutions and setting specific goals, which will help you get the most from the New Year’s fresh start effect. I’m excited to share some ideas with you and would love to hear about your process.

In conjunction with using one or more of the ideas below, I re-read my personal journal entries from the past year and make a list of highlights, challenges, and ah-has. My perspective deepens where I traveled and clarifies where I’d like to go. 

5 Ways That Will Make You Get The Most from Your Fresh Start

1. One Word

Choose a single word as your guiding force for 2022. I don’t do this every year but decided to select one word for 2022. It is flourishing. The past few years have been challenging. With my ‘word’ in mind, I want to cultivate the seeds planted and changes made in a positive direction. 

2. Three Things Reflection

A terrific way to look back on the previous year and ahead to the current one is with the Three Things Reflection. It includes seven pairs of questions such as:

• What are three things you said “yes” to this past year?

• What are three things you hope to have the opportunity to say “yes” to in 2022?

I’ve done this exercise for the past several years. I love reviewing the previous year’s reflection to see how many things happened as I had hoped. It’s a great way of gathering a quick overview of the past and future hopes.

“Your blank slate is ready to be painted with a wash of gorgeous colors.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. Intention

Consider the ‘intention’ strategy instead of planning every change, minute detail, or date of when “x” will be accomplished. Select an overall intent for your year and let that be your guiding force as you make decisions each day. A few months ago, I purchased the most deliciously scented Hive to Home candle at the Renegade Craft show in New York City. While it smells great, it’s the message on the container “Manifest Amazing Shit” that spoke to me. It is the perfect pairing for my “one word.”  Between “flourishing” and “manifesting,” I feel ready to embrace all that 2022 will bring.

4. More or Less

Using a single question can help you focus your choices and actions for the year. Are you curious what some of my colleagues like Judith Kolberg, Joshua Becker, Erin Doland, and Yota Schneider had to say about this when asked,

• What do you want more of and less of for this year?

The question will encourage you to think about last year and the current one to create a vision of where you’d like to be.

5. Past and Future Smorgasbord

A few of my blogging colleagues wrote great posts that describe detailed methods for setting goals and making resolutions. They incorporate the importance of looking back to move forward. Here are my favorites:

• Review & Renew for 2022:  Resolutions, Goals & Words of the Year by Julie Bestry

• Set Your Compass to Reach Your Goals for New Year by Janet Barclay

Did you select a word for the year, set an intention, or create a list of goals? Or, perhaps like me, you’re still in the process of discovering your way into the New Year. Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Wishing you health, happiness, and a joy-filled New Year!

Madison Must Photography

As I sit down to write, thoughts of love, family, and a wedding swirl around my head and heart. Like a dream, I can’t believe that our youngest daughter, Cassie, married Matthew at our home one week ago. They exuded joy and love. We all felt it. By the end of the day, the back of my head ached from smiling so much. It was a good ache. There was so much love, a sense of wonderful possibilities, and hope for the future. Their celebration was a welcome bright spot in the midst of a challenging year.

My husband and I remained in the blissful wedding bubble for as long as we could. At this point, I have mostly returned to regular life. There are still a few flower bouquets reminding me that a wedding really did happen here, and some thank you notes to write. But other than that, my wedding tasks are complete, and the house is back to its pre-party state. What remains is this inner warmth from this significant time, images of tender moments, feelings of calm, and some lessons learned.

7 Lessons Learned from The Mother of the Bride

Communication

Shortly after Cassie and Matthew’s engagement last May, we started discussing the wedding. Right away, I realized we had different ideas and expectations. I recognized the importance of being open, listening, and remaining respectful of their wishes. After all, it was their wedding day. They chose to organize and handle most things and delegated some aspects to others, including me. We supported them in any way we could. Often that meant listening or offering ideas when asked. Keeping the lines of communication open was essential. 

Flexibility

A valuable life skill when making a wedding, especially during a pandemic, is flexibility. Change was the flavor of the day. The kids made plans and, because of the pandemic, had to alter them more than once. They remained flexible, and so did I. I’ll admit that I’m not naturally flexible and continue to work at it. The pandemic influenced a venue change, the wedding’s scope, the vendors, and the number of guests that could attend. Other changes happened that weren’t pandemic-related but required flexibility. Remaining nimble was a great coping strategy for all of us.

Madison Must Photography

Letting Go

As moms, we literally learn to let go from the moment our kids are born. They leave our bodies after being protectively housed for nine months. And that’s just the beginning. As our kids grow, we continue letting go in many ways. It’s useful to exercise those letting go skills when planning a wedding. There are so many things we can’t control. Recognizing that and letting go of control was key for me. It allowed me to worry less and enjoy more. The wedding was outside. Weather is one of the many things we have no control over. Letting go and focusing on the things we have agency over is useful. For example, we ordered a tent with attachable sides, in case it rained. We had control of the tent situation, but not the weather. Luckily, the wedding day was gorgeous. However, the newlyweds’ brunch on the following day was rainy, but the tent sides kept us cozy and dry.

“Letting go and focusing on the things we have agency over is useful.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Planning

A lot of thought and organizing went into the wedding weekend. As I mentioned, Cassie and Matthew did all of the event planning. Their Google spreadsheets were amazing! However, my husband, Steve, and I had our lists too. The key was not waiting until the last minute to do things. In the months leading up to the wedding weekend, we made good use of evenings and weekends to prepare the house, clean, edit, organize, and schedule. There’s nothing quite like having a party to motivate you to get things done. I created a master list with separate projects and tasks in each section. Planning and allocating enough time to complete things made it less stressful. It also enabled me to more fully enjoy the process. I also discovered a fun fact. My daughters and I are all list-makers who prefer using a combination of digital and handwritten lists to get things done.

Madison Must Photography

Being Present

Days before the wedding, Cassie, Matthew, and our oldest daughter, Allison, arrived. What an incredible feeling to have everyone home! We’ve had very few visitors during the pandemic. I don’t remember the last time our kids were home with us for five days. What a treat! I didn’t want to miss anything. There were times when the girls were off in a corner experimenting with hair and makeup, or Matthew and Steve were in the greenhouse setting up equipment for the ceremony. At those moments, I was an observer, sensing family helping family, hearing laughter, and feeling the warmth of our house full of loved ones. At other times, I was in a doing mode. On Cassie’s wedding day, she asked us to put away our phones. She wanted the wedding photographer to be the only one taking pictures so we could be fully present. How wise. What a gift that was! It made me realize how many being present opportunities there were.

“There were many being present opportunities.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Leaning In

There were so many emotions- joy, happiness, excitement, and sadness too. It was an intense variety of feelings. I embraced them all. While I was overjoyed that the parents, one set of grandparents, siblings, and a few of the bride and groom’s friends were with us in person on the wedding day, the rest of our family and friends couldn’t be there because of pandemic restrictions.  For those who couldn't attend in person, they watched the ceremony live on Zoom. I won’t lie. I missed the physical presence of my brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, and friends. It felt so strange to celebrate a major milestone without them. I recognize that I’m not alone. This year, many people have experienced celebrations differently. With acceptance, I leaned into my conflicting emotions- feeling the joy of being together with the people that could attend and the sadness for those that couldn’t. 

Madison Must Photography

Reflecting

When we go through significant life events, it’s important to make time to reflect on our experiences. There were so many memorable moments and feelings that replay in my mind. I know more will continue to appear, but I thought I’d share several with you.

• Hugging our kids after being physically apart for so long.

• Hearing the sweet sounds of talking, giggling, and laughter fill our home.

• Spending time setting up, eating, and walking in the woods with our family and Matthew’s parents and three brothers the day before the wedding. 

• Experiencing the poignancy of painting Cassie’s finger and toenails the night before her wedding day and remembering how I used to paint her nails when she was little.

• Watching Allison dote over Cassie during the wedding weekend, as she helped with her hair and makeup, and anything she needed.

• Seeing my handsome husband all dressed-up as the Father of the Bride.

• Feeling grateful to meet Matthew’s grandparents and have them with us as they watched their first grandchild marry.

• Bursting into tears when moments before we walked Cassie down the aisle, I saw my mother, brother, and sister on Zoom waiting to watch the ceremony. I missed them so, yet felt their love and support.

• Feeling the swell of emotions as Steve and I walked Cassie down the aisle.

• Watching Matthew’s loving expression and tears as he saw Cassie in her wedding dress for the first time.

• During the ceremony, seeing Cassie and Matthew hold hands and stare into each other’s eyes as tears streamed down their faces.

• Feeling grateful for our new, wonderful son.

• Listening to the beautiful, emotional toast Allison gave to Cassie and Matthew on their wedding day.

• Seeing the joy between Steve and Cassie during their father/daughter dance.

• Watching how our beautiful Cassie seemed to float on air the entire day.

• Sitting down on the sofa with Steve after everyone left, feeling exhausted, elated, and amazed at how quickly the time passed.

• Feeling grateful for messages of love, good wishes, and support from our family and friends.

• Realizing that our little girl is all grown up and married.

• Feeling hope and possibilities for Cassie and Matthew for a life filled with love, connection, and family.

Madison Must Photography

We live in challenging times. Yet even in the darkest of days, there is hope. There is love. There are possibilities. These celebratory days with Cassie and Matthew’s marriage affirmed that light, love, hope, and possibilities are present. Have you recently experienced something in your life that has inspired possibilities for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

There is laundry to wash, meals to make, people to check in on, and bills to pay. You have papers to sort, closets to organize, and schedules to coordinate. Your time is filled with the doings of daily life and so much more. You work, walk, run, and show up to support injustices. You reflect, create, converse, sleep, and reset. 

For this brief moment in time, my purpose is clear. Instead of doing or preparing for the next thing, I choose to be still instead of rushing ahead to another moment. In the quiet cocoon of my dark green hammock, stretched out between two 100-foot trees, I gently rock. 

The white clouds navigate decisively across the light blue sky. The gentle breeze shakes the leaves on the trees, which makes a swishing, rustling sound. The spring air is delightfully warm, and not too hot. The sunlight dances as it shows off the varied green hues in the woods. My breathing slows as I take in the deep earthy aroma of the forest.

At this moment in time, as the leaves rustle and birds sing, I sway side to side. The hammock’s movement encourages stillness within – just sense and notice. There will be time for doing and activating. But right here, right now, I am still. I slowly breathe in and exhale out.

“There will be time for doing and activating. But right here, right now, I am still.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

The landscape is wrapped in that sleepy, afternoon light. A rustle. A chirp. Clouds float across the sky. Feeling inadequate, knowing that I alone cannot heal this world filled with so much unrest, pain, anger, and sadness, I choose this one moment to just be. My pause is not forever. From this place of calm, I can reenergize. Learning, questioning, helping, and doing will come, but for this moment in time, I am still. 

What does quiet look like for you? Is it something that you need? Can you remember a time when your nervous system was calm? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The world took one significant pause these past months with quarantines and stay-in-place orders. Each day we lived with a continually changing landscape, uncertainty, and stress. Some of us became ill, lost loved ones, or jobs. Some of us retreated and hoped that things would return to normal soon. Some of us did our best to keep it together because others relied on us to teach, lead, or comfort. We lost track of time and found it hard to remember which day it was. 

There have been inspired ways we’ve chosen to use our time, even with the hardships we’ve faced and difficulties we are still navigating. Because all of a sudden, we had time to spend in ways that we never expected. While there were the binge-watching-chocolate eating-no-showering days, we also crawled out from the covers to experiment. We created music, baked bread, knitted, made masks, gardened, wrote, invented, and delivered groceries to those in need. We Zoomed with loved ones near and far. We slowed down. From this pause and interruption, some of us found time to reflect and create. Some positive and unexpected outcomes emerged.

In recent posts, I’ve written about some of my calming and creative outlets like mindfulness meditation, yoga, walking, baking, writing, and photographing.  Something else surfaced for me during this time. Many of my friends are gardeners. I’ve always admired their ability to plant, nurture, and make things grow. I have vivid and happy memories of the few times in my life when I picked fresh fruit and vegetables. Yet in all these years, I convinced myself that I couldn’t grow stuff qualified by a host of good excuses. So, aside from one failed attempt at planting tomatoes over three decades ago, I never tried. How sad is that?

“This time of the pandemic has been fascinating because experimentation feels less scary.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

This time of the pandemic has been fascinating because experimentation feels less scary. There is a feeling of “Why not?” or “Things are already so strange. What do I have to lose?” I noticed that my thoughts about gardening kept surfacing. My internal musings became impossible to ignore. So I began discussing with friends that I was thinking about making an edible garden. They were so encouraging and had many great ideas.

Now here’s where things got tricky. While I was thinking about all of the delicious vegetables I could plant, I started feeling overwhelmed. I wasn’t sure if it would work, if it would be too hard, or if I’d enjoy the work. I thought about the advice I share with overwhelmed clients when their organizing goals feel too big. Start small and build from there.

“I thought about the advice I share with overwhelmed clients when their organizing goals feel too big. Start small and build from there.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

I took my own advice and decided to begin with a few herbs (and one tomato plant) to grow in our greenhouse. How hard could that be? It turns out that it wasn’t difficult at all. Not only that, but I loved digging in the dirt, arranging the plants, smelling their fresh scents, and watering them. I’m excited about my tiny, doable, not overwhelming garden. It might be a stretch to call it a garden, but I’m going to anyway.

I recognize that to some, especially the seasoned gardeners might think my story sounds ridiculous. Perhaps you’re thinking, “What’s the big deal? She just planted some herbs in a pot.” I get it. But to me, it represents getting over myself and being open to something that, for years, I convinced myself I couldn't do. I figured out how to create a garden on my terms. Perhaps it will stay small. Maybe the plants will die. However, this also might be the start of a new passion. Time will tell.

With so much destruction and strife in the world right now, it feels good to focus on growing and creating. Has the pandemic inspired you to use your time differently? Have you been experimenting more? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.