Mindfulness practice is visible in several ways. There is the formal practice of mindfulness meditation and the informal practice of living mindfully. I engage in both daily, but not 100% of the time. Practicing mindfulness is being in the present moment with awareness of what you’re doing, feeling, or sensing without judgment. That can include focusing on the breath moving in and out of your body, returning your keys to their designated ‘home,’ noticing the leaves turning bright red as the season shifts, or feeling the tightness in your belly as you return to the office after working from home for the past 18 months. The body and mind constantly give us cues and opportunities to practice mindfulness and bring us back to the present moment.

Recently I found mindfulness cues and inspiration from an unlikely source- my cordless phone. Yes. I still have a landline. The messages displayed on the front of the telephone describe its status. While they serve a specific purpose in letting me know what my phone is doing, the words triggered ideas connected to mindfulness practices. As you continue reading, notice which cues and concepts resonate with you.

4 Mindfulness Cues I Discovered on My Phone

1. “Fully charged”

What does it mean to be “fully charged?” Are you ready for your day? Are you focused, aware, and living in this moment? In a mindfulness context, consider this as a reminder to be present. Be like that red “You Are Here” marker on a map. You are not ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. Your feet are firmly planted on the ground and you are here now. You are available and present.

2. “Missed call”

I mentioned earlier how I engage in daily mindfulness practice, but not 100% of the time. A “missed call” indicates you weren’t available when someone reached out. The person chose not to leave a message. Does that sound familiar? I equate the “missed call” to how our mind tends to wander, which is normal. Being aware when you’ve strayed brings you back to the present moment to engage more fully in your life. A mindful presence will improve your relationships, work, and pursuits.

“A mindful presence will improve your relationships, work, and pursuits.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. “Voice message”

Unlike the missed call, which has no message attached, the “voice message” includes information requiring a response or action. Considering mindfulness, what words do you tell yourself? Are they uplifting or self-deprecating? Is it time to record a new message? Use the “voice message” cue as a mindfulness check-in and a way to support your best self.

4. “Charging”

When we’re distracted, over-extended, and overwhelmed, it’s easy to skip the basics. We’re so entrenched with doing that we forget about our needs. In this stressed state, it’s more challenging to incorporate mindfulness. We eliminate the importance of renewal or “charging.” Our electronics need to be juiced up, or they stop working. Our minds and bodies need rejuvenation, too, or we’ll cease to function well. Let the “charging” cue be your self-care reminder. What helps you refocus and relax? For me, sleep is essential. But I also like to journal, meditate, do yoga, read, sit in the sun, be or talk with loved ones, watch movies, and walk by the water and woods. What will you include in your mindfulness charging station?

Just like my phone, many of our devices display messages. Usually, we take them at face value, which is how they were designed to function. But it’s fun to find inspiration and extend their meaning to create more mindfulness in our lives. Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Letting go is never easy, even when it’s anticipated. On March 27th, my beautiful 92-year old mother, Wilma Simon Machover, died peacefully in the morning light while listening to Mozart. While her passing was expected as she had been fading these past few months, none of us thought it would happen on that day. But she was ready. As some of you may know, this has been a long goodbye. Mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia eight years ago, a year after my dad died. Her dementia presented many challenges but also learning opportunities and so much love.

In this time of grief, I am deeply moved by the outpouring of messages, support, and loving gestures from family and friends. Thank you so much for your kindness and the beautiful ways you have helped me and my family honor and celebrate my mom’s life.

It’s impossible to summarize her extraordinary life in a few words because there are so many stories and ways that she touched our lives. Instead, I’m sharing a few stories, and the legacy mom left us. 

Mom’s Legacy

When I think about the legacy mom left us, four words stand out:

• Love – which was visible in all things she touched

• Family – which was her everything

• Music – which was her passion

• Community – which she created wherever she was

Mom Stories

1. Love

Love was part of every conversation, decision, and choice mom made. It was present in her relationships and how she loved my dad, siblings, grandkids, family, friends, and me.

I remember after Allison was born and I was pregnant with baby #2, our beautiful Cassie. I was worried and scared, so I talked with my mom. Would I have enough love for another child? She assured me and said that love is an amazing thing. There is no limit on how much love we have. It keeps growing. And she was right. The more you love, the more love you have to give.

Always the teacher and role model, I watched mom. When each of her seven grandkids was born (Allison, Ryan, Cassie, Allegra, Hana, Halle, and Noa,) I saw mom’s heart expand as she welcomed them into the world with open arms and abundant love.

2. Gratitude

My mom was a grateful person. For years, maybe decades, I spoke with her at least once a day. Our calls were frequently about how grateful we were for the people we loved and the time spent together. She’d say, “That’s the good stuff!”

She always communicated a profound sense of gratitude for her family, friends, music, art, and the preciousness of time. Even as her dementia worsened and talking wasn’t always a viable way to communicate, she continued to express gratitude and appreciation in so many ways.

3. Mindfulness

For a brief period, when I was about 9 years old, I remember my mom told me that her friends, Jack and Erva Zuckerman, joined the Gurdjieff Society. The group encouraged a philosophy about life that fascinated her. One of the things my mom described was their belief in living mindfully, although I’m not sure they called it that. She gave an example- if you are making your bed, focus on just that one thing- smoothing the sheets, feeling the fabric, appreciating, and being in the moment.

Mom used to experiment with that idea and sometimes talked aloud to share it with me as she practiced mindfully washing the dishes, folding the laundry, or making the bed. I realized how in mom’s later years, she became my mindfulness guru in another way. Her dementia journey was long. Eventually, Mom lost her memory of the past and wasn’t aware of the future. With those changes, she modeled mindfulness and presence. She found joy in the present through playing piano, listening to music, singing, dancing, smiling, being with people who cared about her, exploring the garden, holding hands, feeling the sun on her face, or being playful.

When I was with her, I entered her world wherever she was, and we experienced the moments together. She helped me appreciate the now even more and savor the precious time I had with her.

4. Lifelong Bond

Mom loved telling me my birth story, which she shared often. She was fully awake when I was born, and the nurse handed me to her right away. She said, “You wrapped your tiny hand around my finger and squeezed it tightly.” Then she said, “I know we’ll be friends forever.” And she was right. We were always close.

Towards the end of her life, she hummed but barely talked. During one of my last visits with her before she died, I held her hand and sang her songs that she loved and used to sing to me. She swayed our hands gently to the rhythm of the music. Then suddenly, she squeezed my hand tightly and placed our hands together over her heart.

At the beginning of my life and the end of hers, there were no words. We shared touch, connection, and beautiful moments of love.

Letting go is never easy. Yet, in our letting go, the stories about those we love live on. Have you experienced letting go challenges or loss? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

We’ve all heard the saying, “If it ain’t broke, don't fix it.”  That goes along the same line of thinking as something being good enough. If it is good enough, is it worth disrupting to make it better?

However, what if something is broken? Is it worth fixing? Broken can include things that no longer work like that DVD player, missing pieces to a game, or favorite a sweater that is well (really well) worn. It can even include negative relationships that only bring angst.

There is also the proactive approach like Gerald Nadler’s. His philosophy describing breakthrough thinkers is,

“Fix it before it breaks.”

Of course, that isn’t always possible.

Our decisions and their effectiveness are based on the quality of the questions we ask. This is true while we’re going through the organizing process, when we’re making big life decisions, or when we’re navigating relationships. So what are the possibilities between good enough and broken? How do we weigh them? How do we know which path to take?

Just to be clear, I’m not advocating that we live our lives without striving. It’s a matter of selecting where our effort gets invested. There are times when good enough is enough and when broken things don’t need to be fixed. Being able to identify those situations can be freeing because it gives us the space to focus on what we feel is most important and meaningful.

I’ve put together a list of questions to get you started. There are no value judgments here. This is simply a guide to help you with decision-making. It can be applied to many different situations. I’m sure that you will think of other questions to add to the list. I welcome your ideas and additions. Please include them in the comment section at the end of the post.

How do we weigh the possibilities between good enough and broken? 

Questions to Ask When Things Are Good Enough . . .

• What will I gain from changing what’s good enough?
• Do I want to make those changes because I’m not satisfied with good enough?
• Do I have the time to invest in making things better than they already are?
• Do I have the motivation to make improvements?
• Instead of fixing what’s good enough, are there other things/situations/people that could benefit more from my attention?
• Where does my desire to improve things originate?
• Is perfectionism involved?
• What are my thoughts about good enough?
• Does the phrase continual improvement resonate with me?
• How does continual improvement relate to good enough?

Questions to Ask When Things Are Broken . . .

• Is it worth fixing?
• If so, why?
• How long has it been broken?
• What would happen if I let it go?
• Is there a value in repairing it?
• Is it worth the time, energy, and resources (financial and/or emotional) to fix it?
• What if I don’t know how to fix it or where to start?
• Would it be more cost effective, time efficient, or less stressful to start with something new, rather then to repair what’s broken?
• What old habits and behaviors might be preventing me from letting go?
• Do I want to invest my time in fixing what’s broken?
• Do I want invest my energy elsewhere?

As we enter this new season, revisit the things in your life that are just right, need fixing, require letting go, or beg for more attention and focus. You’ll find the answers in the questions you ask. Possibilities are waiting. What are you noticing? I’d love to hear your thoughts along with any questions you’d like to add to the lists. Come join the conversation!

For all of the overextended, cup-runneth-over, and time-poor people out there this post is for you! If your life consists of a steady flow of appointments, events, projects and responsibilities with little or no time to catch your breath, then keep reading. Even if life isn’t always hectic you’ll want to keep this one question at the ready for the periods of time that are.

Before I share the question, I’d like to give you some background. A while ago my coaching friend and colleague, Cameron Gott, shared a series of wonderful questions with me. I jotted them down and rediscovered them recently. While these questions can be used for many situations, one of his questions works beautifully as the best  time management question to ask when you are overscheduled. It is . . .

“What’s most important now?”

— Cameron Gott, PCC

I love how simple and direct it is. The question helps us to work through overwhelm and competing time demands and then focus on the present. The question is action-oriented. It helps us prioritize. We can then mindfully use our time to focus on what is most important.

In recent weeks, I found this question extremely useful as I navigated various time-intensive activities. By continually coming back to, “What’s most important now?” I was able be more mindful and engaged with the present. Simultaneously, I let go of thoughts relating to everything else that needed to be done. The question was liberating.

11 things that needed my time, focus, and presence

Time for Fixing –The washing machine broke. My computer crashed. My car needed to be replaced.

Time for Emptying –Tag sale season arrived. I prepared, edited, and let go of stuff to be ready for our June 9th and 10th tag sale.

Time for Self-Caring – Aside from tag sale season, it was also doctor appointment season. I scheduled and had my annual medical appointments. After all, if we don’t take care of ourselves, how can we take care of others?

Time for Being – This most often meant getting outside and being in nature. I spent time walking in the woods, sitting by the river, bathing in the sun, taking photos of spring blooms and bubbling brooks. 

Time for Updating –We were overdue for updating our wills and other legal documents. It was time. 

Time for Working – Organizing is one of my passions. I spent time writing, presenting, being interviewed and organizing with clients.

Time for Family – I’m acutely aware that good relationships need a time investment. I invested fully in time with our daughters, visits with my mom, and conversations with my siblings and other relatives.

Time for Nothing – As important as it was to get things done, at times I also needed to not do. I took time to just be without an agenda or pressure to accomplish something. Especially when I felt the “to do list” stress, taking a time out became even more important.

Time for Entertaining – With Memorial Day being the unofficial start of summer, we hosted a (last minute) BBQ for our friends.

Time for Meditating – I practiced. My daily mindfulness meditation helps me focus on being in the present moment.

Time for Loving – For a pre-anniversary (35 years) getaway, my husband and I went to Saratoga Springs for a long weekend. Focusing on fun, connection, and relaxation is an essential. Our time can easily be filled with everything but so it’s important to make love a priority.

So going back to where we began. What’s most important now?  What helps you manage your time when you’re feeling overwhelmed and overscheduled? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!