Loss is part of the human experience. It’s one of the things we have in common with each other. When we lose someone we love, we often want to hold onto their physical possessions to remind us of them. In most situations, keeping some meaningful treasures is comforting. But what happens when your deceased loved one’s stuff overwhelms you? Maybe you are the person who is responsible for deciding what to do with their possessions. Perhaps all of their things have landed in your home, and you don’t have space, time, or energy to edit them. Maybe you’re still grieving, and it feels impossible or too soon to choose. I get it. I’ve been there personally and have walked the road with clients as they’ve faced similar circumstances.

It’s been seven months since my mom passed away. I miss her so much. I completed the editing and dispossessing process. Her lifetime of things, including her home of almost 60 years, has been sold, given to family members, donated, or discarded. I kept some furniture, art, books, jewelry, photos, memorabilia, and documents. There are still a few things I need to decide about. But mostly, her possessions and life are settled.

Beyond her stuff and physical presence, she remains with me in other ways. She visits me in my dreams. When I hear the music of Bach, Mozart, or musicals like The Sound of Music, I think of her. More recently, I was reminded about the power of the olfactory sense, which can transport us to another time in an instant. I hope my story will help you as you journey on your letting go path.

The Pine Needles

I am obsessed with the smell of the pines when I trek down the block. It’s as if I’m a huntress, hunting the scent. Several months ago, when I walked, I only smelled the pine if the wind blew in a particular way. The smell was fleeting. It was there one step and gone the next. I would back step, trying to get “it” again, but the aroma was gone. 

Why am I so obsessed? 

I have a memory from age six or seven. My parents took my siblings and me to a nature preserve for the weekend. Our car was packed with sleeping bags, slabs of wax for the lanterns, coolers, cots, and our dog, Sandy. They rented a lean-to, a three-sided, roofed structure, for our stay.

As we entered the park and drove up the road, tall, gracious pine trees marked the path on either side. My mom had my dad stop the car. She insisted we all gaze at the trees, open our windows, and take in their beautiful fragrance. My mom loved the smell. As we stood, I could hear her inhale the scent as she breathed in deeply and smiled. For those few minutes, the five of us stared and smelled as we enjoyed the moment. Whenever I smell fresh pine, I think of her.

On my walks down my block, I try to get a whiff of the trees. And every so often, I catch it. Then a few weeks ago, I noticed the dried pine needles falling in bunches to the ground. With their release came a concentrated scent. I’d walk, and there was the smell. I felt transported back to the time I had that moment with my mom so many decades ago.

She’s gone now. She left this year in March at 92 years young. But as I wander down the block, kicking the pine needles as I walk, it makes their fragrance even more intense. Gratitude and calm fill my being as I activate the aroma and feel my mom’s presence, strong like the scent of the dried pine needles.

“Gently let go when you can.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

For those of you that have lost a loved one, my heart goes out to you. If you are overwhelmed and struggling with letting go of physical possessions, I offer you this. Can you keep a few treasures and physical reminders? Can you allow the rest to move on? Your loved one’s memory will be with you in other ways through your stories, dreams, scents, sounds, and more. They wouldn’t want you to be overwhelmed or feel burdened by their stuff. Gently let go when you can.

Besides material possessions, what other ways keep you connected to your loved ones who have passed? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The newest installment (v32) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature is here with my latest finds informing, educating, and relating to organizing and life balance. Included are unique, inspiring mindfulness-related discoveries, which reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are a generous, warm, and engaged group. I am deeply appreciative and grateful for your presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Mindfulness-Related Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Mindful Living

Do you want to introduce more mindfulness into your life? In The Mindful Day – Practical Ways to Find Focus, Calm, and Joy From Morning to Evening, Laurie Cameron, mindfulness teacher and founder of PurposeBlue, shares fifty simple strategies backed by science and experience. Laurie says, 

“… practicing mindfulness is about learning, bit by bit, how to train your attention to stay in the present instead of ruminating over the past or racing into the future.”

The book’s five sections highlight ways to start, seize, enjoy, enrich, and end the day. Laurie suggests infusing mindful awareness into breathing, showering, writing, listening, walking, touching, and other regular activities. She says, “Awareness amplifies the senses. When you live through your senses, you get a rich direct experience instead of a removed experience. You are feeling in the body instead of being lost in your head.”

2. Interesting Trend – Mindful Break

Has FOLO (Fear of Logging Off) taken over your life? While disconnecting from our digital devices is an ongoing challenge, the pandemic added a new layer. In the past year and a half, our work/life boundaries blurred dramatically as the expectation for constant availability increased. For many people working remotely, their anxiety escalated when they stepped away from their computers for even 20 minutes. If they didn’t instantly respond to an email, they felt their colleagues might think they were too lax.

To help with FOLO, Julie Morgenstern, a time management and productivity expert, suggests creating boundaries by taking short breaks throughout the day and informing your colleagues when you do. Pandemic or not, developing a mindful habit of engaging in technology breaks during the day will help you restore your energy, gain perspective, and be more productive. Disconnect and introduce mindfully eating lunch, having a snack, stretching your body, or getting some fresh air. Change your habits and say goodbye to FOLO.

3. Interesting Article  – Mindful Organizing

Are you struggling with getting organized? If so, you’re not alone. In a recent Huffington Post article, “The Biggest Home Organizing Mistakes People Make,” Caroline Bologna interviews Professional Organizers, including my colleagues Seana Turner, Lisa Zaslow, Regina Lark, and me. The piece sheds light on everyday things that can go wrong during the organizing process. Typical challenges include purchasing containers before decluttering, being overly ambitious, not paring down, failing to maintain systems, and delaying requests for help. By mindfully considering what not to do, you will get organized with greater ease and success.

“Instead of creating mini-projects and taking small steps, people get overly ambitious and try to do too much at once.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

4. Interesting Season – Mindful Time

As the kids go back to school, temperatures cool, and the trees change colors, let the changes all around inspire you to let go, de-stress, and get organized. Fall is a fantastic season to set your organizing goals, declutter the extraneous, and create the calm you deserve at home. Change is possible, especially with support. If you are struggling, enlist help from a compassionate and non-judgmental friend, family member, or professional organizer like me. I’m ready to help. Discover how virtual organizing can work for you and why my clients love it so much. Let’s talk. Call 914-271-5673 or email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com.

5. Interesting Thought – Mindful Pause
Have you experienced the “Oh” moment? During this mindful pause, you may think to yourself or say aloud, “Oh.”  You are aware of feelings, sightings, sensations, sounds, or scents. You stop to acknowledge what you are experiencing. When you slow down, you can focus on where you are, what you’re doing, and what you’re noticing. The next time you see a fall leaf that changed color, feel lighter as you let go of clutter, or experience joy at the sound of your loved one’s voice, pause to be present for your “Oh” mindfulness moment.

What are your interesting mindfulness discoveries? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

For almost three decades, I’ve enthusiastically helped people edit and get organized. Recently, I’ve become my own client and leaned into some organizing self-help. My motivation to let go of the extraneous was partially influenced by this summer’s tiny house vacation. While I no longer am obsessed with moving into a tiny house, I want to live in our right-sized house, but with less stuff.

Our home isn’t disorganized or cluttered. Things have a place. My husband, Steve, and I can easily retrieve and return items to their designated ‘homes.’  However, there are belongings that have overstayed their welcome. Those are the things that have been stored for a long time and are no longer used, needed, or wanted. They are taking up physical and emotional space. Their time has come to move on.

After returning from vacation, I set a long-term goal to reduce the amount of stuff I own. My plan isn’t a detailed room-by-room-do-this-by-x-date proposition. It’s a low-pressure, loose plan. I added one simple daily repeat on my to-do list that says, “Edit & release some stuff.”  There is no expectation other than to do something. I spend 15-60 minutes editing what I feel like working on that day.

In the last two weeks, I edited and organized clothing, shoes, handbags, toiletries, cleaning products, paper goods, dishes, and glasses. Additional edits included candles, vases, office supplies, books, photos, cards, letters, memorabilia, personal and business files, and email inbox. These items were from the dining room, entryway, laundry room, kitchen, office, main bedroom, and bathrooms.

I let go of

• Five 13-gallon bags of trash

• Two 30-gallon bags of trash

• Two 30-gallon bags of clothing and home goods for donations

• One bag of books for donations

• One bag of paper for recycling

• One bag of paper for shredding

• One container of pens for a friend

Like with all experiments, come learning. My ‘edit & release some stuff’ plan is no exception. There will be more insights, but here are seven discoveries I made so far.

7 Best Organizing Self-Help Discoveries Made With My New Simple Plan

1. Track Your Progress

There are many ways to enjoy progress, but for me, tracking with a simple chart helps me review and acknowledge my accomplishments. I created a Word document with three columns- date, area worked on, and result. Taking photos or journaling can also be helpful.

2. Respect Random Approach

Typical organizing wisdom encourages us to organize one area before moving on to the next. I’ve shared that advice with many clients. However, as logical as that sounds, it’s not always possible or desirable. Clients sometimes get bored working in one area or encounter emotionally charged belongings they are not ready to organize. With my approach, I gifted myself the option for randomness. Instead of a specific plan of what to edit each day, I let myself choose more intuitively. Which area do I feel like working on today? It keeps the pressure low and the satisfaction high.

3. Honor Your Emotions

Is organizing emotional? It can be. While editing, I experienced a range of feelings like happiness, joy, sadness, ambivalence, resistance, frustration, annoyance, guilt, exhaustion, satisfaction, and love. I let my emotions have the space to surface. When editing my cards, I found a beautiful, love-filled note written by my mom for my 40th birthday. I felt sad that she is gone and simultaneously felt her love and encouragement. 

4. Trust the Exit

Honestly, if I wasn’t logging my progress and noting the stuff I said goodbye to, I wouldn’t remember what was gone. I have no regrets and don’t miss anything that I released. It feels good.

“It’s liberating to live with less.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

5. Live With Less

As each area or space is edited, I appreciate having less. For example, when I open the sticky note drawer, only my favorites are there, and the never-used ones are gone. When I get dressed, the clothes I like and wear most are in my closets and drawers. They have space to breathe, and it makes it easier for me to select what I’m going to wear. It’s liberating to live with less.

6. Rethink Your Space

One of the benefits of letting go is the opportunity to rethink your space. Having less visual and physical clutter makes it easier to improve flow and organization.  As I released stuff, I cleaned and asked a few questions. Is the space working as is? Or, could it use a slight tweak? Some areas were set. However, for others, I made improvements. For example, after the kitchen edit, I inserted freestanding cabinet shelves. This made use of wasted vertical space and also improved access to frequently used dishes.

7. Engage Self or Outside Help

While I’m making progress, I recognize the value of enlisting help. While I have released a lot, I’m pretty sure if someone supported and asked me questions as I edited, I’d let go of more. Help with facilitating decision-making is invaluable. For now, I continue to go it alone, coaching myself through the process. I will leave the door open to reach out for help if needed.

Have you been editing and organizing? Are you doing it on your own or did you get help? What did you learn? Did any of my discoveries resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

One of my obsessions, which you might not know about, is “tiny houses” and the tiny house movement. I am in awe of living with less (less space, less stuff) and how small spaces are designed. I love watching the Netflix show, Tiny House Nation, adding images to my Oh, So Tiny Houses! Pinterest board, and reading about people living the tiny house lifestyle. My fantasy is to sell our home (and most of our stuff) and move into a tiny house.

My husband, Steve, doesn’t share my enthusiasm for this idea. He has expressed many times, “I don’t want to live in a tiny house and get rid of all of my stuff. I like my stuff. Where would I put all of my signs?”  Steve is a collector of many things, including large porcelain advertising signs.  Then he clarified that if we did move into a tiny house, we’d need two of them to “keep the peace.”

In the early summer, with tiny house fantasies and vacation planning on my mind, I discovered a unique place in the Catskills. A Tiny House Resort, where we could experience firsthand what tiny home living was like. Steve was game and knew this would be fun, but also help me experience viscerally what tiny living was all about. I booked us an adorable 350 square foot little house complete with a full kitchen, bathroom with five-foot tub, space to sleep four people, fire pit, pergola, and outdoor gas grill. What fun! This family-run resort is situated along the Catskill Creek, has beautiful walking trails, a waterfall, and an outdoor heated swimming pool. There are farm animals, including goats (available for Goat Yoga,) sheep, free-range chickens laying fresh eggs that guests can have, vegetable and herb garden to pick from, giant-sized (not tiny) outdoor chess, and checkers, and so much more.

Four Tiny House Life Lessons

Life Lesson One: Defining Too Cozy

My ah-ha moment came when I approached our tiny house, opened the door, and walked in. I knew in an instant that I could never live full-time in one. Why? It was too small. I told Steve, and he smiled- well, maybe he belly laughed. While it was fantastic spending a long weekend there with him in this cozy and unique space, it is not how I want to live all the time. Although we both agreed that we could if we had to.

Life Lesson Two: Not So Small Afterall

The second ah-ha came when we returned back to our own home, which we’ve always called “small.” Our home felt spacious after four days of living in the tiny house. This realization reinforced that my tiny house fantasy is just that- a fantasy. I am happy and deeply grateful to live in our rightly sized home. I felt very much like Goldilocks when she sat in the “just right” chair. I discovered that our house is “just right” for us.

“I want to prioritize being and doing over acquiring and managing. ”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Life Lesson Three: Live With Less

I also recognized that even though I no longer aspire to live in a tiny home, which is defined as between 100 to 400 square feet, I am interested in living with less. It was so apparent how little we needed when we stayed at the tiny house resort. Instead of 30 drinking glasses, there were four. Instead of silverware for 40, there were 4 spoons, forks, and knives. We had just enough, but not more than enough. It felt liberating. 

So when I returned home, I started to not just think about editing my stuff. I actually began letting go. A bag of books was filled and donated to the library. I went through my files and filled up three large bags of paper to recycle and shred. That’s just the beginning. My plan is to go through each room and find things that no longer have value, are taking up space, or have overstayed their welcome. 

I don’t feel pressure or have a specific timeframe for doing this. It will be a relaxed and ongoing process.

Life Lesson Four: Clarifying My Why

Our tiny house experience inspired me not to move but to discover what living with just enough feels like. I’m hyperaware of the 80/20 rule and frequently share this with clients. We only refer to 20% of the papers we file, wear 20% of the clothes we own, read or refer to 20% of the books on our shelves, use 20% of the kitchen gadgets, and so on. I want to review and potentially let go of close to 80% of the things I never use, access, or need. I recognize this is ambitious, but I am open to the process. Why should the stuff I collected and don’t use take up valuable physical real estate and emotional energy? Why should I leave the things I no longer want for our kids to have to sort through when I’m gone? I acquired these things. It’s my responsibility to decide their future.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, our tiny living weekend allowed us the freedom to live and not spend much time caring for the physical stuff of life. Less time cleaning and decision-making meant more time for kayaking, walking in the Catskill Creek, hanging out by the waterfall, swimming, picking peppers and basil from the garden, preparing and eating meals together, and enjoying our time together. Yes. I get that we were on vacation. But even so, going forward, I want to prioritize being and doing over acquiring and managing. We only go around once. 

Have you considered tiny house living? If so, do you need help editing? Do you feel overwhelmed by your things, or do you have just enough? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.