What is it about asking for help? Is it something you do readily? Or, do you tend to do or want to do everything yourself? There is no shame in enlisting help. So why do we procrastinate, stress, and delay getting support? As a professional organizer, I am used to receiving calls from overwhelmed folks who want help. I am also a person that at times, struggles to ask for assistance.

This happened recently to me. My mom died in March. While many of the things around her death I completed, I still have a few things to do. One of those tasks is getting her footstone made. I wanted the same company that made my father’s footstone, help make my mom’s. I obsessed about getting the footstone created and installed. I added a task to my list but kept postponing it. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Or, perhaps ordering the footstone made my mom’s death feel more final. I didn’t move forward or ask for help. I stayed stuck.

And then last week, the day arrived. The cue to work on mom’s footstone project appeared on my to-do list again. I pulled out my file, found the name and number of the monument company, picked up the phone, and dialed. Here’s the incredible thing. Within a few minutes, they knew who I was, where my mom was buried and gave me clear next steps for getting the footstone made. A half-hour later, they emailed me all of the details- the quote, forms to complete, and checks to write.

I had been stressed and obsessing for months. By enlisting help from a professional, I was able to take those next steps. Getting the process started was such a huge relief. It felt like a giant weight was lifted. I couldn’t believe how simple it was and how long I had berated myself for not getting help. One phone call yielded such comfort. 

“There is no shame in enlisting help.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Then it hit me that mine and my clients’ experiences are similar. When potential clients contact me, they often are overwhelmed, stuck, and have felt that way for a long time. They describe reasons they procrastinate about getting help, which include:

• Embarrassed for needing help

• Despair that they feel like a lost cause

• Unsure of who to call

• Frustration that they “should” be able to get organized on their own

They feel their disorganization and situation is impossible. However, when you are willing and ready for change, movement is possible.

“When you are willing and ready for change, movement is possible.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

My clients make positive shifts during their virtual organizing sessions, and it’s a beautiful change to see. I’ve written about this before with the types of transformations they have during a typical one-hour session. Enlisting help is beneficial. Virtual organizing clients might begin their sessions feeling overwhelmed, but the story doesn’t end there. Here are some recent thoughts clients expressed at the end of their sessions:

• “I see the light at the end of the tunnel.” 

• “I know I can do it. I can pair things down.”

•  “It was kind of overwhelming but easier than I thought.”

• “Saying goodbye to the past- it felt good, cathartic.”

• “Amazing. This is such a good feeling.”

•  “My pile of ‘going’ is getting bigger.”

•  “Things feel mentally more manageable.”

•  “This feels so good what we did today. At the beginning of the session, I felt like crying. Now I feel giddy.”

Like my clients, I felt better and moved forward when I sought out help. When was the last time you reached out for support? What did you experience? Was the help you received beneficial? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation. 

The whole day was before me. It was my day to sit and write this post. However, instead of focusing next on writing, I felt compelled to delight in spring’s arrival. Outside beckoned me to walk in the warm air, bask in the hot sun, hear the birds chirping, and discover flowers and greenery gracing the landscape with bright spots of color. I also carried with me some ideas that surfaced during my morning mindfulness meditation. It was the combination of the practice, the week’s events, and my pull to be outside, leading me here. 

During Tony Brady’s meditation, he said, “We are doers and fixers and move impatiently from one project to the next.” I had to unpack that one. Doers and fixers? The “doer” struck me. Each day when I wake, I have a goal to do something. I rarely have a don’t-do day. The “fixer” resonated too. I recognize I don’t have to fix or solve everything. However, my tendency is to find solutions for others or myself. It’s how I’m wired.

Moving “impatiently from one project to the next,” I connected less with. I’m pretty darn patient. I like having space within a project to think, appreciate, evaluate, and readjust as I go. I never feel like I’m hurrying to that next thing. I actually don’t like to rush (or run). But Tony made me think about this.

Then he said, “We have lost the gentle art of waiting.” Those words hit me. We are accustomed to fast and instant everything. Do you remember when we used dial-up to access the Internet and how long it took? Now, if we don’t connect in a split second, we are annoyed. How about ordering from Amazon? I’ve ordered items that arrive the next day at standard free shipping. What about our conversations? Do we really listen to the person that’s talking? Or, are we thinking about what we’re going to say next before they finished speaking? 

“We have lost the gentle art of waiting.”

— Tony Brady

Tony’s statement about losing the art of waiting made me think about presence and mindfulness. Being here now. Focus on where I am and what’s happening around me. Don’t fast-forward to the next thing on my list.  It was with those thoughts that I approached this glorious spring day. Yes. I eventually wrote this post, as you can see. But before I wrote, I used most of the day for embracing spring. This included:

• Taking two walks- one by myself and the other with my husband.

• Enjoying a conversation with an adorable three-year-old kid who was happily sloshing around in a mud puddle.

• Watching geese waddle into the river and then glide along the water.

• Eating leisurely my brightly-colored salad as I sat in our greenhouse.

• Shooting photos of flowers, water, trees, and the Croton Picture Tunnel.

• Savoring the super cold Yasso fudge brownie pop as I sat in the hot sun.

• Reflecting on the two bookends of life this week as my great-nephew entered the world and my mom continues to fade.

There is doing and not-doing. There is life and death. There is being present and missing the moment. For this moment, this day, I chose to be here now. I’m also OK to wait and pause. I’m grateful for the arrival of spring, the birth of my great-nephew, being able to hold my mom’s hand, and this day. 

Is next calling you? Are you feeling content with things as they are now? What are your ideas about waiting, patience, and rushing? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about some of the positive mindset changes my clients experience during their virtual organizing sessions. A common theme is going from overwhelmed to unstuck.

Whether clients are overwhelmed or not, all grapple with “What’s my next step?”  This is the intriguing part. How do we figure out what to do next during a virtual organizing session? What do some typical next steps look like?

If you are curious, continue reading. I will share my latest discoveries with you.

How to Figure Out Next

It’s probably no surprise, but figuring out next begins with asking thought-provoking questions and listening carefully. We check in first before we start organizing. With curiosity as our guide, we discuss how things went in between sessions, discover successes and challenges, and find out what’s happening now. Is a current circumstance affecting their energy, mood, or preferences? All of these discoveries go into finding next. 

Once we’ve talked, I can tell if my client is clear about their next step or need help discovering it. If they are unsure, we clarify and discuss several options. It’s always their choice, which is one of the powerful aspects of virtual organizing work. When clients choose what they want to focus on, they own the process and are invested in the outcome. 

What Next Looks Like

Each client has unique organizing goals and needs. Their projects differ in scope and focus. Clients want a range of help from me, including brainstorming, planning, body doubling, focusing, system designing, resource-providing, list-making, and more. While working, we focus on decision-making skills, letting go, mindfulness, awareness, and moving forward one small step at a time. The organizing work happens in their offices (at home and work,) bedrooms, closets, kitchens, pantries, laundry rooms, bathrooms, dining rooms, living rooms, garages and other areas.

“Taking that next step builds momentum.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

During each virtual organizing session, they experience change and progress. Taking that next step builds momentum. Below is a small sample of clients’ next steps and successes they experienced during their one-hour virtual organizing sessions:

• Created a goals list of organizing tasks and projects for every room in the house

• Edited and cleared papers from the office floor

• Brainstormed ideas for the most effective use of the space

• Edited expired make-up and personal care products

• Edited and decluttered items on the bed

• Sorted and organized backlog of mail

• Created a filing system

• Drafted a project to-do list

• Edited and decluttered the pantry

• Cleared out old files 

• Edited and organized a box of papers

• Created a to-do list

• Edited and organized memorabilia

• Organized books

• Edited a stack of magazines

• Edited and organized clothing closet

• Organized mind clutter

You may wonder why I shared this list. It’s simple. Next begins somewhere. While your goal may be huge, big can be overwhelming. But with focus, small blocks of time, and some guidance, you will get there, one paper, box, or decision at a time.

Where did your next step bring you? Did it create the momentum to continue organizing? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The most common reason clients ask me for organizing help is they feel overwhelmed or stuck. They have a deep desire to move forward and take action, yet those next steps feel elusive. I love helping them take a deep breath in, exhale out, and discover next. It’s exciting when their energy unleashes, and they take action on what seemed impossible. Once they begin and see progress, momentum takes over. It’s as if a switch gets flipped from “I can’t” to “I’m doing it!”

This past weekend I worked on a project in our greenhouse with my husband. Much like my clients, I felt that same energy surge and momentum they experience when their next step and goal is clear.

Here is what happened.

As some of you already know, our youngest daughter, Cassie, is getting married to Matthew in the fall. The complexities of the pandemic made them alter their wedding plans. They kept their original date but opted for a small wedding at our house instead of the larger celebration at the venue they had reserved. While they are planning and organizing the entire event, there are a few things Steve and I need to do to prepare our home. One of those to-do list items was power washing the greenhouse floor. In the past, we’ve hired someone to do it. This time, however, we decided to buy a machine and clean it ourselves.

My husband wasn’t ready to start the project, but he wanted to test the machine to see if it would work. He set it up and began experimenting. Several minutes later, he asked me to check out what was happening. I couldn’t believe how well the power washer worked. And then Steve said those five little words, “Do you want to try it?”  He handed me the wand, and I gave it a go.  That’s when it happened. It was like magic. Within moments, the force of the water pressure removed the dirt and moss from the brick floor. I couldn’t believe my eyes. 

“When you are stuck, reach out for help.””

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Doing the power washing was a different experience than watching someone else do the work. It was so satisfying to make and see the change happening before my eyes. I was hooked and driven. Momentum took over. Going brick by brick, section by section, I spent the afternoon power washing with Steve. We took turns, although truthfully, I was the power washer hog. While I washed, Steve moved things around to expose other parts of the floor. We helped each other while laughing and smiling as we transformed the space. It was even a bit messy, like how the organizing process can be. But in the end, we had one clean floor.

The takeaway here is that when you are stuck, reach out for help. When your next step and goal gets clarified, you will be unstoppable. Unleash your magic power that comes from taking action.

What positive enlisting help experience have you had? What encouraged you to reach out for help? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!