Some of us get pleasantly jazzed up when we are going through change. We feel enervated and excited about what is and will be happening. However, more often, I notice that people (including me and my clients) experience a lot of stress and anxiety with change. Even if we know that we will be just fine on the other side, the not knowing and transition parts can unnerve the calmest of us. Do you remember a change you went through recently? How was the experiencing part for you? Did things go smoothly? Or, did you, at times, feel stressed and out of sorts?

As a professional organizer, the work I do with my clients is all about change. We are changing habits, transforming spaces, and rethinking busy schedules. We are working towards desired changes. It is the work and the “changing” part that can be stressful. 

How does the change-related stress show up? It might look like:

• A short fuse

• An angry burst

• Frustration

• Sadness from loss

• Overwhelm from too many choices

• Exhaustion

• Worry

• Pushback

• Canceled appointments

• Slow-paced organizing sessions

• Indecision

• Crying

• Digging in

The bottom line is that very often, when we are experiencing change, we aren’t at our best. This can be magnified if the change is unexpected or imposed on us. When we choose to change, it can still be stressful, but sometimes that positivity and motivation can help reduce the stress factor.

The situations that seem most stressful for my clients are:

• Moving

• Renovating

• Downsizing

• Losing a loved one

• Going through divorce

• Experiencing a health challenge

How can you alleviate some of the change-related stress? You can do one or more of the following:

• Acknowledge that you’re going through a transition.

• Be extra gentle with yourself.

• Focus on the basics of sleep, exercise, nutrition, and hydration.

• Reach out for professional and personal support.

• Practice saying “no.” 

• Reduce the scope of your commitments.

• Meditate.

• Adjust your expectations.

• Do something fun.

• Do something relaxing.

• Celebrate the small successes.

What else have you experienced or noticed in yourself or others when going through change? What helps you alleviate change-related stress? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to comment and join our conversation.

What’s the purpose of embracing a fresh start? Is it to have a do-over? Is it useful because it helps you to be poised, ready, and open for new opportunities that appear? Is it a burning desire knowing that it’s time for a change? What says “change” better than clearing the decks?

Last week, I had the opportunity to be a guest on WNYC’s “All Of It” with the fabulous host, Alison Stewart. You can click here to learn how Alison and I met. On her show we talked about organizing, overwhelm, mindfulness, New Year’s intentions and more. Listeners had the opportunity to call in and ask me their most pressing organizing questions. Alison has an impressive audience of listeners, and they asked great questions. I thought it would be fun to do a follow-up post so that I could expand on my responses to some of the issues.

How to Make the Best of Your Fresh Start

Get Fresh With Your Paper Stuff

Even though we live in an increasingly digital world, we still manage to amass a lot of paper. It takes up valuable space and mental energy.  Listener, Bill, expressed this when he called in. He felt overwhelmed with his backlog of documents and wanted some advice about what to let go of.

The general rule (although definitely check with your accountant who understands your specific situation) is to keep tax back-up records for seven years from the date of filing. Keep copies of your tax returns indefinitely. If there isn’t any tax or other financial implication like capital improvement records, or proof of a significant purchase needed for warranty purposes, most papers can go. Think shred, trash, out-of-here now! Also, for going forward, consider getting records digitally and filing them in electronic file folders. That will reduce future paper clutter.

For some other thoughts about the benefits of paper clearing, check out How to Use That Energy Boost You Get From a Fresh Start.

Get Fresh With Your Move

One of the biggest motivators for new beginnings is when you’re preparing to move. Listener, Margaret, called in to share about the tremendous decluttering and letting go work she’s been doing in preparation for her upcoming move. She’s already donated many bags of stuff to local charities. Go, Margaret! While she has been able to let go and have less, she was concerned about maintaining her “less stuff” approach after the move.

While a massive amount of decision-making goes into moving and choosing what to give away, sell, or keep, that process doesn’t end after the move. In fact, most people make a second or third edit post-move. Pay attention to how it feels to own less. After you move, you’ll have a new perspective on space and your belongings. Continue the editing process until you are “right-sized.” To maintain your home, build in some editing time every six months or so to review and release.

For additional thoughts about managing clutter, check out Decisions, Clutter & Tag Sales.

Get Fresh With Your Family (but in a good way!)

My heart went out to the listener, Alexandra, who called with a question about how to best help her mom with hoarding behavior. I was moved by the amount of support, love, and willingness the family has given her mom. The challenge is that while her mom has an awareness of her problem, she hasn’t been able to make any behavioral changes. Attempts by the family to help “clear out” have caused the problem to worsen. The family is at a loss as to how to best help.

Hoarding disorder has a mental health diagnosis. While it’s beautiful to have a supportive family, it’s essential to build a team of experts that can help like therapists, social workers, and other professionals. However, no team will be effective without a willing participant. 

One of the best books for loved ones of those that hoard, is Digging Out – Helping Your Loved One Manage Clutter, Hoarding & Compulsive Acquiring by Michael Tompkins, Ph.D., and Tamara Hartl, Ph.D. It is written for the family to understand better the disorder and how to best help. 

Another excellent resource is The Hoarding Project. They offer nation-wide consultation services, education, and support geared towards people with hoarding behavior, family and friends, and professionals.

Behind the Scenes at WNYC

To listen to the WNYC “All Of It” January 4th podcast with these listeners' stories and more, click here. My segment is the first 20 plus minutes.

Are you in the fresh start mood? How are you making the most of yours? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation! 

As you might imagine, as a professional organizer, one of the things my clients hire me for is to help them edit the things they have collected and then organize what remains. They often refer to their stuff as clutter. By the time they contact me, they are highly motivated to release the excess (as in they want it gone yesterday.) I’ve noticed that certain motivators make the editing process easier and faster. In recent months, the five motivators described below are the ones I’ve encountered most frequently.

There are a few common threads, which make these motivators especially effective. Each motivator possesses a clear “why.” This clarity makes decision-making easier to determine which things they want or no longer want in their life. Secondly, these five motivators have deadlines, which add a time pressure or incentive to be more decisive and speedy in the decluttering process. Lastly, they all involve a significant change. While there might be some fear involved in change, there can also be excitement and opportunity, which serves as a great driver.

5 Strong Motivators For Releasing Your Clutter

1. Moving– When you’re preparing to move, letting go of the unessential, enables you to start with a clean slate in your next place. Whether you’re downsizing, upsizing, or right sizing, the moving incentive works beautifully for getting you to evaluate your belongings and excess clutter. For example, if you’re moving to a home with 50% less space, you can use that editing formula as a guide and reduce your current possessions by half. Moving, even if to a larger space, still provides a great opportunity to evaluate, edit and decide which things have meaning and which do not.

2. Cycling– For those of you that have children leaving for college, in college, or post college, you’re in the midst of this revolving door time. I think of this phenomenon as revolving door empty nesters, where our kids cycle frequently between living home and away. These transitions can be huge motivators for letting go, editing, and decluttering. These periods of time are excellent for encouraging our children to decide what should remain or go from their childhood days. They are transitioning to adulthood and to becoming more independent. It’s also a great time for parents to imagine this new stage. While some parents like to keep their kids’ rooms in tact, others like to renovate or completely change the room’s use. Kids’ rooms might be converted to guest rooms or home offices. 

3. Surprising– We’ve seen this more frequently in the last several years; Mother Nature has dealt us some not-so-great weather surprises. We’ve had floods, hurricanes, heavy snows, and high winds. Many of our homes have survived without experiencing loss of power or damage. However, due to the extreme weather, many more have experienced damage to our homes and possessions. As a result, major decluttering was necessary in order to make repairs or because our possessions were not salvageable. Having to face these damages also provided an opening to re-evaluate, which things were most meaningful and which things were not. The weather surprises forced us to declutter.

4. Ending– Different than moving, clearing out a home after a loved one has died is another strong motivator to let go of clutter. In fact, it may be a time to let go of more than just clutter. It might involve releasing an entire lifetime of collected things. The pressure to clear out a home increases when you’re trying to sell it quickly. A home no one lives in can easily become a financial drain. So while clearing out a deceased loved ones home is a highly emotional process, decisions about letting go can become clearer in this situation. Giving your loved ones things safe passage is especially important. Safe passage means that you find new homes for those things you let go of that will benefit or be appreciated by the receiver of them.

5. Stabilizing– We can experience unanticipated medical or mental health issues that quickly requires the need for a calmer, uncluttered space. Clutter can take on a draining, negative energy, especially if a person has a low clutter tolerance. For example, if an individual has compromised mobility due to a medical condition, combined with excess household clutter, this can potentially cause harm. The motivation to declutter increases rapidly when you consider it in the context of certain medical concerns. Stabilizing a space to create a safe, peaceful environment is a huge motivator.

Have you struggled with letting go of clutter? What motivates you to release those things that are no longer wanted? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

When we view change as a process rather than a singular event, we can discover seeds of change along the way.

What if we nurture and view these seeds as mini celebrations on our change journey? How does that alter our experience?

How can you embrace small changes?

3 Ways to Embrace Small Changes

Color

Making a small change by introducing a burst of color to a room, whether it’s a new throw pillow, a vase of fresh flowers, or a brightly painted wall, can be part of our change journey. Color is powerful. It can energize, soothe, or motivate us. It’s a visual cue that something is different and sets the mood for positive change to occur.

Habits

We all have habits and patterns. As much as I advocate systems and organization, sometimes it's essential to change our routines. It’s good for our souls and healthy for our brains. This past weekend, my husband and I made a small change by sleeping in our guest bedroom instead of our room. It was fun for one night to break our routine and enjoy a different perspective. Even though we were just across the hall, it felt like we went away on vacation.

Stuff

Several of my clients are getting ready to move. They’re making big life changes, which can feel overwhelming at times. Preparing includes organizing and letting go of “stuff” they no longer want with them for the next phase. Getting an entire house ready is a time-intensive process. Celebrating and acknowledging progress along the way is key to staying focused and motivated. Doing the “happy dance” to celebrate another decluttered closet or ten more bags ready to donate keeps the focus on now with a nod to next.

How do you embrace small changes? What mini-celebrations have you experienced? Come join the conversation!