Some of the things I enjoy about Valentine’s Day are the beautiful colors, the bouquets of flowers, the abundance of chocolate, and the focus on love. The power of love is undeniable. The ability to give and receive love makes life better. Expressions and acts of love don’t have to be bold. They can felt in quiet moments. They can be felt from a gentle touch, a kind word, or a small gesture.

Creating more loving moments towards yourself and others will change your life. Love is the glue that holds our relationships together. Extending that love to include compassion for self enables us to grow, change and give more to others.

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”

— Charles M. Schultz

5 Ways to Add More Love and Compassion to Your Life

Hug Break

My husband and I were home during the big snowstorm last week. After several hours of working at our desks, Steve called out to me. He said, “Hey Honey, it’s time for a hug break!” I smiled as I got up from my desk and met him in the hallway for wonderful hug. What a simple act that left me feeling happy and loved. Did you know that the hormone oxytocin is released when we’re physically close to another person’s body? It helps us connect to others. In The Little Book Of Hygge, Meik Wiking said that oxytocin is sometimes referred to as the “love hormone,” the “cuddle hormone,” or “social glue.” Hug someone today to increase your love and happiness quotient.

Dance Break

My mom has vascular dementia, so while we can still have conversations, words aren’t always her best mode of communication. Music is though, so we often sing and clap together, or I listen to her play the piano. She has an incredible sense of rhythm. Moving our bodies to music or dancing with others is one of the most joyful things we can do. During a recent visit with my mom, she was so energized by the music we played for her, that we ended up dancing together. It was a joy-filled moment of love and connection.

Sisters Break

This past weekend our daughter, Allison, drove from Brooklyn to visit her “baby sister,” Cassie, in Boston. Our daughters have been very close from the day Cassie was born. As a matter of fact, when Cassie was born, Allison was convinced she was her baby. And right from day one, our girls had a special bond. Fast forward 24 years later and they are still close. Each time I thought about them visiting and spending time together this weekend, my heart was filled with love and warmth. Love can be felt through the relationships we have and by thinking about and being around the loving relationships others have. Soak in the love.

Creative Break

I like to make cards and write notes. Sometimes I use my photographs. Most recently, when making Valentine’s Day cards, I decided to take out my watercolors. I used to paint frequently, but haven’t in years. It was like having a conversation with an old, comfortable friend. I just loved dipping my brush in the paints, swirling it around in the water jars, and painting on the textured paper. I had forgotten how much I loved painting. Love can be felt from the relationships we have or the creativity we engage in that touch our souls.

Mindfulness Break

I continue to engage in living more mindfully and practicing daily mindfulness meditation. Especially through meditation, the practice encourages self-compassion. I set aside time each day to focus on simple awareness of connecting my mind, body and heart. The practice encourages being curious, non-judgmental, and kind to the self. By gifting myself this time, it’s helping me to experience more gratitude, more calm, and expand the energy, focus and love I have for others.

On this day of love, this day of sharing and this day of eating more chocolate than usual, I wish each of you a very happy and love-filled Valentine’s Day. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts about change, love and compassion. Come join the conversation!

One of the greatest joys in life is spending time with your loved ones. At least it is for me. There’s nothing quite like having shared experiences and some good old human, face-to-face interaction to strengthen our relationships and understanding of each other.  I had the chance to do just that on a recent a road trip with my husband, daughter and her friend. Car time is wonderful for conversing, sharing music, and enjoying each other’s company.

On this particular trip, aside from actively participating in the conversations, I was also the driver. While I was paying attention to the speed limit, traffic patterns, and road signs, I neglected to notice the gas gauge. I was so focused on dialoguing and driving, that I ignored a very important sign until it was too late…well, almost too late.

At one point my attention shifted when I noticed the yellow “out of gas” indicator light and the “zero miles remaining before the gas ran out” gauge. Fortunately, I saw the warnings right before an exit. Despite the fact that the highway exit sign didn’t indicate gas stations available, I opted to get off the highway. I thought, as did my passengers, that it would be better to run out of gas on the exit ramp than on the highway. As the story goes, there was a gas station located at the bottom of the exit. Phew! We pulled up just in time and filled the tank.

I felt stupid and embarrassed. This could have been inconvenient, not to mention dangerous. After berating myself, I had to let it go and move on. Mistakes happen. Focus shifts. No one got hurt. Our gas tank was now full. This experience left me thinking about distractions…as in in how many things can we effectively focus on at once? As it turns out, we can’t handle too many.

The moral of the story: If you have too many distractions and competing priorities, you may find yourself running on empty.

What distractions surprise you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

There are opportunities each day to choose success and positive outcomes. I just returned from the Institute for Challenging Disorganization’s (ICD) annual conference in Portland, Oregon. What an amazing time I had with learning, meeting with colleagues from around the world, exploring a new city, and taking a break from my normal routine! You may already have seen some photos and sharing about the trip from my recent tweets and Facebook posts. The learning that kept appearing for me this week was centered on having happy, successful and joyous days. I’ll share some highlights with you.

Face Fear

We’re all afraid of something. Fear is real, even if our fears aren’t based on anything concrete. Fear is real in our minds. One of my fears (that has actually happened on several occasions) is the fear of being locked out of my hotel room. Sometimes it’s been a glitch with the key card and other times it’s been about my door-opening challenge. I’m not great with keys, locks and doors. For this conference, I decided to try the hotel’s new technology. They had an option to get a digital key, which uses the hotel app on my iPhone to open the door. Needless to say, I was nervous each time I stood in front of my door thinking, “Is this going to work?” But consistently, it opened every time. I never tired of it working. Each time it opened, I smiled and felt giddy. I felt like the winner of a game. Facing my fear did wonders for increasing my daily happiness quotient.

Journey Together

One of my favorite speakers was Satwant Singh, nurse consultant from London, who spoke about reclaiming your life and space, especially when working with individuals with hoarding tendencies. He was a soulful, gifted speaker with a great sense of humor and humility who engaged the group through interactive exercises and discussions. One of the things he said that when working with his clients, he tells them, “We are on this journey together.”  I often express something similar when working with my organizing clients. We all have challenges. Knowing you have support along the way increases your daily successes.

Prioritize People

Another wonderful speaker was the energetic, vivacious, Ayla Lewis from Happy Brain Science, who presented a workshop on the science of being happy and productive at work. There were so many takeaways from her talk, but one that stood out was about choosing happiness by investing in relationships. One way to do that was through “active, constructive responding.”  I loved this concept she described as celebrating and savoring the good times with those around you. That includes something as simple as giving high fives for positive successes they’ve experienced or taking time to express that you heard them talk about a success they had. As she said, being there for your people during the “good times,” and not just the bad, has an even bigger impact on your relationships. Joining in their happiness increases yours.

Be Mindful

Mindfulness, the practice of stepping back and just noticing, was the “hot” topic that was mentioned in almost every conference session. Some of the speakers had us participate in some group mindfulness exercises. The mindfulness training benefits mentioned included decreased feelings of depression and anxiety, reduced stress, and improved executive function for aging and ADHD. One mindfulness exercise we did was the 18-second practice of focusing on your breath. Try it by breathing in for four counts, holding your breath for six counts, and exhaling for eight counts. Do you feel clearer, happier and ready to face what’s next? Taking time for breath awareness creates more successful choices and moments.

Social Support

We had a panel of aging experts, Barbara Cohen Grant, LCSW, Rick Steinberg, MD and Robert Winningham, Ph.D., talk about the physical, mental health, emotional and lifestyle change challenges facing adults with chronic disorganization as they progress into advanced age. They said that “social engagement and support is critical for well being,” especially with elders. The friends’ circle continues to decrease as grief and loss increase. The need for social engagement and support is essential.

Ban Should

The dynamic, knowledgeable speaker and mental health therapist, Kevin Ashworth, director of NW Anxiety Institute, spoke about the role mental illness in clients with disorganized lives. He shared a wealth of valuable quotes, statistics and insights. One in particular stood out. He said, “You cannot use the word ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ without feeling bad.”  What a powerful statement! How often do those words creep into your sentences? Developing an awareness and removing them from your conversations, seems like a guarantee for adding more happy, joy and success to each your day. 

Let Go

The engaging, comedy writer and producer, Rick Green, shared his personal story, experiences and knowledge about living with ADHD, a neurodevelopmental syndrome. He suggested a phrase that appeals to their emotions, which can help people let go of a physical possession. When someone is struggling to let go, he suggests saying, “Someone would love this.” It reframes the potential act of loss to one of giving. What a beautiful way to experience success.

We can look to many areas to increase our daily experiences of happiness, joy and success. I’ve shared a few that were inspired by last week’s travels. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

The unofficial summer has ended. Parents and children are back in school mode. Transitions are in progress as we adjust to new schedules, set new goals, wrap-up endings and embrace new beginnings. With a full fall schedule ahead of me, I don’t know about you, but I’m not quite ready to give up that slower, less-stressful pace of summer. Thoughts of leisurely beach days, river walks, and no alarm clock mornings occupy my thoughts.

Yet here we are. It’s a new month. It’s a seasonal transition. It’s a time to re-set and get ready for new challenges and successes. How do you do that? What successes are you striving for? There are many ways to strengthen your foundation to create successful outcomes. I’ve suggested a few strategies. Do you have any additional ones to add?

More Calm

Success can come from frenzy, but finding some calm during your day can go miles in clearing your head and clarifying your thoughts. Our successes will flow more easily if we balance life’s daily stresses with moments of calm. Where will your calm come from? For me, sunshine and water are essential. They immediate restore calm to my inner being.

More Nourishment

Success can come out of deprivation, but nourishment can supercharge your success. The nourishment I’m referring to has to do with getting enough sleep, eating healthfully, hydrating, and stimulating our minds and hearts. What can you read or learn that will provide groundwork for future success. What relationships can you develop or nurture that will enhance the journey you’re on?

More Percolation

Success doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, patience, persistence, experiences and failures to get there. We can lack clarity and vision in where we’re headed. Cloudiness can bring frustration, negativity, or lack of motivation. We need time to mull things over before clarity appears. Give yourself ample opportunity to capture your thoughts. The fragments might not make sense yet, but given time, you can pull together the pieces, identify themes and move forward. Let success thoughts percolate. These are an essential part of your success foundation.

Where are you now? What do you need to strengthen your foundation for success? What will help you to move forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.