Posts tagged friend
Big Lesson I Learned How Motivation Is In The Growing
Big Lesson I Learned How Motivation Is in the Growing

When you embark on doing something new, what keeps you motivated? What helps you follow through with a project or new habits even when your goal feels big or hard to reach? I’ve said it before. The pandemic has encouraged experimentation and creativity for many of us. The uncertainty in the world created an atmosphere of trying things we’ve never done before. I’ve noticed a shift, “Life is so unpredictable, what do I have to lose?”

This brings me to a recent lesson I learned about motivation. In the spring, I planted a tiny herb and vegetable garden in our greenhouse. You can read more about it in my post, How Has Uncertainty Inspired Your Time to Be Different? After decades of convincing myself that I’m not a gardener and could not grow food, I felt motivated to try. The effect of the pandemic enabled me to try out a different script. It was a “Why not?” attitude, rather than an “I can’t” perspective.

 

Motivation is in the growing.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

The Story

My motivation to create a garden came from wanting to grow my own fresh food. It turned out that selecting plants, and finding the right spot to place them was fun and straightforward. I opted for a tiny garden, which wasn’t overwhelming. Each day I cared for the plants by touching their leaves, smelling them, saying “hello,” and watering them when needed. My daily reward is that I get to pick fresh basil, dill, or cilantro to add to our salads or mint to my iced tea. The herbs have been immediately available and continue to grow.

The cherry tomato plant, however, needed time. Does that sound familiar? How often do we need more time to grow? So while I was picking my basil and dill, I cared for the tomato plant, fascinated by its growing process. Little flowers appeared. From there, tiny green tomatoes grew. Finally, one single tomato turned a luscious bright red color. I sent photos to my gardener guru friend for her advice. She confirmed that it was picking and eating time. So with great delight, I plucked the tomato, cut it in half, and shared it with my husband. It was delicious, worth the wait, and so joyful to share it with someone I love.

Big Lesson Learned

My small garden has taught me that with an open attitude, care, and patience, not only will the plants thrive, but I will also grow. Motivation is in the growing. As you take on new projects or habits, it is the journey where the magic happens. And when you arrive at your destination, I hope that your ripe red tomato will be waiting for you to appreciate and enjoy.

What motivation lessons have you noticed? What motivates you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!

 
 
5 Ways to Take Time for Delight Especially When Life is Hard
5 Ways to Take Time for Delight Especially When Life is Hard

Time is universal. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. Yet how we choose to use and feel about that time varies widely. You have scheduled and unscheduled time, hours spent doing what you enjoy and what you don’t. Your days can be intentional or haphazard, filled with obligations, commitments, fun, rest, and challenges.

Lately, I’ve noticed how many moments of joy and delight are present even in these uncertain times. With so much unrest and distress around us, why am I writing about happiness? Especially when life is hard, it’s essential to acknowledge and embrace moments that fill you with delight.

The pandemic changed our daily lives. Opportunities to try new things emerged during the shift. Surprisingly, in this chaos, some beautiful moments emerged. I’ll share a few things I’ve recently experienced, hoping they will spark some ideas for you. 

 

 

5 Ways to Take Time for Delight

1. Watch Tomatoes Grow

Tomato plant

Earlier this month, I created my first mini garden in our greenhouse. One of the vegetables I planted were cherry tomatoes. Each day I check to see how they’re doing. I water or mist them as needed. Little yellow flowers started blooming, which are magically becoming tomatoes-to-be. Right now, they are round, green balls that will hopefully turn bright red. It’s a simple thing, but it makes me smile with delight every time I check on their growth. It feels good to nurture them and watch the changes.

 

2. Cut Hair with Scissors

You’re probably thinking, how else would you cut hair? Of course, you use scissors (or a clipper!) The thing is I’ve never cut hair other than the disastrous time I cut my mother’s hair when I was 10 years old. My husband hasn’t been able to get his hair cut during the pandemic, so I offered to “try.” I was amazed that Steve trusted me to cut, especially since he knew about the mom incident. While I don’t plan on opening a salon, it turns out I’m not half bad at cutting hair. The great discovery is that I love doing it!  I feel giddy when I cut. It’s so satisfying to snip away, kind of like hair decluttering. I’ve learned one lesson. Don’t say, “Oops,” if you chop off more than you meant to.

 

Especially when life is hard, it’s essential to acknowledge and embrace moments that fill you with delight.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

 

3. Walk Socially Distant with Friend

It wasn’t that long ago we could walk where we wanted, with whoever we wanted, as closely as we wanted, and mask-free. But times have changed. The only walks I’ve taken in these past months have been by myself or with my husband. Since New York recently loosened the stay-in-place orders, I felt comfortable trying a socially distant (and masked) walk with one of my friends. While we have had regular Zoom calls during this time, we haven’t seen each other in person. It felt beyond fantastic to be physically close to my good friend as we walked, talked, and looked at one another. And while it was a bit weird not to be able to hug, it was so joyful to be actually rather than virtually together. 

 

 

4. Sit in Different Chairs

Back woods

I’ve found ways to experiment with new perspectives with so much time at home these past months. It’s not that I was bored, but I felt like shifting things around to see what would happen. We added a few new chairs to our outdoor collection, so we moved furniture around to integrate the pieces. We placed chairs where they had never been before, which encouraged us to sit in new locations. The change was surprising because the new placements had different views and feel. Now when I go outside, instead of sitting in the exact same spot, I like to move around to try out other positions. Oddly, these simple changes make me feel similar to being on vacation because they both bring about perspective shifts. 

 




5. Take the Less Traveled Path

I love walking in the woods and by the rivers. There are regular and favorite walks I take, like down the block or the path along the Hudson River. But there are other places I walk less frequently like a park several towns south of where I live. Over the weekend, my husband and I decided to go to the park we rarely visit. There were many changes from the last time we went there. I loved noticing and appreciating the differences. Our prior visit was in early spring when the daffodils were blooming, and the leaves on the trees were starting to green. This time, yellow flowers were gone, and the trees were so full that some of the trunks were hidden. There were birds and butterflies all around. I loved exploring the less familiar path with spectacular river views.

 

Time keeps moving, whether we’re having good days or tough ones. There are ways to make time for joy-filled moments. I’d love to hear your thoughts. What moments delight you? I invite you to join the conversation.

 
 
How to Destroy the Clutter Barrier When You Are Overwhelmed
How to Destroy the Clutter Barrier When you Are Overwhelmed

Several of the virtual organizing clients I’ve recently worked with were experiencing overwhelm due to their physical clutter. They wanted less stuff and clearer spaces, yet felt stuck with getting started and letting go. With support, desire for change, and sound strategies, they began moving forward. It was exciting to see their positive transformations. How was it possible? 

While each client and situation is unique, some strategies consistently help. Are you or someone you know is feeling clutter-stuck? If so, I encourage you to test these five strategies, which establish parameters for support, time, place, supplies, and decisions.

 

 


5 Strategies to Destroy the Clutter Barrier When You Are Overwhelmed 

1. Support

Especially if you have tried to let go of clutter on your own and haven’t made progress, it might be time to enlist help. What type of support do you need? Reach out to a nonjudgmental friend, family member, or professional organizer (like me) to help provide accountability, insight, a listening ear, and cheerleading. Having someone support you as you make decisions is invaluable. Finding the right support could be the missing parameter that will help you get unstuck.

 

2. Time

Clutter can feel overwhelming when we think too big. Typically when you are stuck, go small for your decluttering sessions. For the time parameter, instead of thinking, “I’m going to work all day until I declutter my entire closet,” only work for a short period. Experiment with organizing for 60 or 90 minutes, and then stop. Return another time to do more. Shorter sessions will be more manageable, be less likely to cause burn out, and keep you receptive to organizing again. Besides, a mini time block is easier to integrate into your schedule.

For the time parameter, instead of thinking, ‘I’m going to work all day until I declutter my entire closet,’ only work for a short period.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

3. Place

The parameter for going small also applies to the selection of your decluttering project. Let’s say you want to remove the clutter from your bathroom. You set your time parameter for one hour. Reduce the project scope to lessen your overwhelm. Instead of decluttering the entire bathroom in one session, think small. Work on decluttering one cabinet, one shelf, or one box. Keep the goal tiny. Set mini-goals in short time intervals. Repeat until you’ve completed the entire space.

 

4. Supplies

To help with your decluttering project, prepare the supply parameters. What will you need before you begin? Gather the basics such as trash, donate, and recycling bins or bags, masking tape, markers, and/or a label maker. A small pad and pen or your smartphone are useful to jot down ideas, replenish items, or note discoveries. If you are working virtually and using a video platform, it’s beneficial to have an adjustable stand to hold your mobile phone or tablet, so you can work hands-free, and your support person can see what you are working on.

 

5. Decisions

The final parameter relates to decision-making. Before you begin decluttering, establish some global project boundaries that will help expedite your choices. You want to set up parameters so that you don’t have to question every decision. Let’s say you’re decluttering your clothes, and you have a lot of everything. Before you begin, you might decide that you will only keep five pairs of black pants, two pairs of jeans, and no skirts (because you never wear them.) Or, you might decide that any stained shirts or torn clothes will go. All decisions will be based on the boundaries you establish at the onset. You can always alter or add to the parameters as you work. Decluttering involves many choices, and it can cause decision-fatigue. By building in a few letting-go rules upfront, you can minimize that stress.


When you are overwhelmed by clutter and are stuck, what helps you move forward? Do any of these strategies resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
 
How to Know When It's Time to Let Go of the 'Shoulds'
How to Know When It’s Time to Let Go of the ‘Shoulds’

What is it that you expect of yourself and others right now? What can you let go of? Have you noticed a lot of ‘shoulding’ going on? As in, “Now that I have extra time, I should be organizing my entire house,” or “Now that I’m not working, I should be learning a new skill,” or “Now that I’m self-isolating, I should be pushing myself to get a lot more done each day.” Do any of these sounds familiar? I am guilty as charged. 

Last week, I shared with a friend that I never got to the things that I intended to do that day. Instead, my day included meditation, a yoga class, a walk by the river, and baking. Those were my essentials. However, I felt guilty that I should have been doing other things or more things. My friend reminded me of something she heard on a Practicing Human podcast. These were such welcome, affirming words.

Allow yourself to have the kind of day you need to have, and without judgment.

I’ve taken that message to heart, especially the “without judgment part. In this time of stress and uncertainty, it’s kinder to extend gentleness. Like you, I am doing my best to keep it together. Each day we receive news about radical shifts and changes to daily life, loved ones dying, overwhelm that is paralyzing, and all types of grief.  Yet we put one foot in front of the other. We keep breathing. We find ways to soothe, cope, and carry on.

To be honest with you, the post this week was going to be something else altogether. But the message my friend shared kept playing over and over in my head. 

Allow yourself to have the kind of day you need to have, and without judgment.

I took that to heart. Yesterday included meditation, a Zoom call with our kids, a magnificently long walk with my husband in a nearby wooded sanctuary, and writing this post. What I needed this day was to connect with my family and nature and to write a shorter post.

What is it you need? How will you give yourself the day you need, judgment-free? What will you let go of? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.