Have ever tried to change a habit like putting your keys in a designated spot, being punctual, eating more vegetables, cutting out sweets, reducing your digital device dependency, or pausing before saying “yes” to requests? If so, you know how hard a habit change can be. You often start out determined and mindful, yet can get quickly derailed when you’re stressed, discouraged, or distracted.  I’ve personally experienced the trials and tribulations around my own habit changes. As a professional organizer, I support my clients’ change of habits, environments, and transitions during their getting organized journeys and see firsthand how much effort lasting change takes.

When you practice and repeat the behavior you desire, it becomes a habit. Most experts agree that simple habit changes generally take 21 days to establish, while more challenging ones such as weight loss or mindfulness practice can take at least six months.

 A while ago, I took a habit change course from the insightful psychologist and author, Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. He is co-founder of the Center for Mindful Living in Los Angeles. I appreciate his direct approach. In the seminar, he described six habits that lead to lasting change, which I will share with you. 

6 Helpful Habits That Will Boost Lasting Change

1. Relax

When you are relaxed, your focus, learning, thinking, and decision-making improves. These conditions create an environment that is conducive to lasting change. Develop awareness around feeling relaxed. Notice when you brace. Does it happen at specific times of the day or when you are around certain people? When you find yourself bracing, soften your body. In turn, it will relax and soften your brain.

2. Mindfulness & Focus

Practicing mindfulness reduces mind busyness, improves the clarity of thoughts, and increases productivity and the ability to focus. One way to practice mindfulness is to single-task. If you are doing an email, just email. If you are eating, just eat. If you are exercising, only exercise. Developing mindful awareness will be a benefit to the changes you seek.

3. Trust in Yourself

Self-compassion and forgiveness grow your emotional intelligence. When you trust yourself, it will quiet your inner critic, improve your sense of self-worth, and increase your resilience when you encounter obstacles. Take self-compassion breaks. Understand what you need to self-soothe. Forgive yourself for regressions, remain curious, and invite yourself to begin again. The route to new habits is not a straight path.

4. Savor

Positive emotions like joy, gratitude, and awe increase resiliency during challenging moments, improve physical health and increase happiness. Take joy breaks by savoring the good moments. Practice gratitude by making a daily list of things like the health of your family, lying down in your cozy bed, feeling the sun warm your body, or thinking about the loved ones in your life. Practice relational joy, which is witnessing other people experiencing good moments. Mentally send encouraging thoughts to them.

5. Accept Change

There will be ups and downs when it comes to change. Accepting the undulating pattern will help you get unstuck sooner, be more grateful at the highs, and more graceful at the lows. Stay present-focused. Get perspective on what matters right now. This will help you align actions with intentions.

6. Connect

Feeling connected is often the missing piece to sustaining change. When you are connected to others, you will feel naturally inspired to change, receive more support and accountability for your habits, and learn from others. A coach, mentor, family, or friend can be in your connection circle. Increase your sense of connection and positive emotions through journaling or doing loving-kindness meditation. When you visualize the link you have with others, you actually feel the connection. Do a relationship inventory. Think about the top ten people you are in contact with most frequently and rate them from one to ten. Ask, “Does this person inspire me to make positive changes in my life?”

The hidden success driver to make lasting change comes from not going it alone. Seek regular, ongoing guidance and accountability from a group, coach, family member, or friend. What helps you create positive habits? Do any of these ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to leave a comment and join the conversation.

Navigating Choices & DecisionsChoices are all around us. The small and large decisions we make are influenced by our perspective, experiences, and way our brain processes. The complexity of how our minds work means that some decisions we make are logical and some are not. Some are healthy and some are anything but.

Decisions can be made boldly, carelessly, doggedly, creatively, emotionally, logically, laboriously, or freely. We can toss a coin or spend days deliberating about options. Decisions can be made in solitude or collaboratively. Simple choices like, “What color shirt am I going to wear?” are juxtaposed by more challenging questions such as, “Which room should I organize first?”

According to the Time article, “Making Choices: How Your Brain Decides,” neuroscience journalist, Maia Szalazvitz, said that each day we’re asked to make thousands of small and large decisions. She refers to a California Institute of Technology study that examined how the brain decides. The study indicated that there are two distinct networks for decision-making. One network analyzes the overall value, the risk versus the reward of a specific choice. The other network guides behavior.

Sometimes the decisions we make are obvious and sometimes quite gray. This past weekend, I had the honor of being on a “Professional Ethics” panel, sponsored by the NAPO-NY chapter. We talked about the NAPO Code of Ethics and also shared various scenarios and sticky situations, which required discussing the ethical choices we might make. It was fascinating to hear the diversity of ideas, perspectives, agreements, and disagreements. But again, it all came back to choice. Do we take action, and if so, what? Or, are there times when it’s appropriate to do nothing, and taking no action is the choice?

What I love most is that we have the ability to choose. These choices are available to us at every moment. Our yeses, nos, and maybes of today, define our tomorrows.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. How do you decide? What allows you to be comfortable or satisfied with your decisions? What have you learned from making decisions? Come join the conversation.