We’re wonderfully human and curious. We like to learn, understand, and get private glimpses of other peoples’ lives. With this collaborative post series, I usually ask my colleagues to respond to a question about the topic of the month. This time, I thought it would be fun to have them ask the question to a family member. I wanted to know (and I’m guessing you do too) what it’s like from the family member’s perspective to live with a Professional Organizer. I was delighted by the responses received from husbands, sons and daughters of my organizing colleagues Leslie Josel, Diane Quintana, Marie Potter, Seana Turner, Janine Adams and Ellen Delap. I couldn’t resist, so I also asked my family (Steve, Allison and Cassie) to give their take too. My gratitude goes to my colleagues and their beautiful families for being so open and for sharing your personal stories with us.

Sit back, make a cup of tea, and enjoy discovering what life’s really like behind closed doors.

What’s it like to live with a Professional Organizer? . . .

Lists, Lists & More Lists

“What’s it like to live with an organizer?  One word:  lists. To-do lists. Shopping lists. Call lists. Lists on note pads. Lists sent by email. Lists on the blackboard. Lists on the backs of envelopes and on scraps of paper. Basically, everything gets written down on our house.  Lists are living, breathing documents that we live by. Lists are to be kept, updated, managed, studied and followed devoutly. And resistance is futile.”

Wayne, Leslie’s husband

Leslie Josel – ADHD Coach, Author & Speaker

Predictable

“Living with a professional organizer is kind of boring in a good way. Things are always put away or at least where you think they might belong. In a word it is predictable.”

Andy, Diane’s son

Diane Quintana, CPO-CD®, CPO® is a Professional Organizer, Author & Presenter

Visual Cues

“Other than the obvious - having a house, life and paper in order - we have maximized every nook and cranny of a small home. If it must be known, we are subject to the testing of improved systems and new products. If I miss the tour of the new system or product, I might reach for something in its usual spot (creature of habit) and get a bit frustrated to find it's been relocated. Fortunately, there are visual cues that come with being married to an organizer - bins, baskets, labels and lists - so that helps. At the end of the day, it simplifies our lives and prepares me for the golden years when my mind goes!"

Chris, Marie’s husband 

Marie Potter is a Professional Organizer

Wonderfully Human

“Living with a professional organizer- my wife, Linda- has been great (professionally and Oh, So Otherwise). Our house is not large, but under Linda’s guidance we’ve established a place for things that makes it easy to get back to a calm state after a project has caused items to be spread around, or after a party. At the same time, we’re not minimalists and we don’t have a sterile environment. We’re both collectors (I have the bigger stuff), but it all seems to nest together."

I get a smile the few times that Linda has misplaced something, because it shows no matter how well the system is set up, gremlins exist for all of us.”

Steve, Linda’s husband

Linda Samuels, CPO-CD® is a Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger & Speaker

Mess Management

“1. Everything has a place.

2. Everything is labeled.

3. You learn early on to close your door when your room is messy so she doesn’t get traumatized."

Bethany, Seana’s daughter

Seana Turner is a Professional Organizer, Blogger & Speaker

Full Circle Thinking

“I’m not a naturally neat person. And that’s not to say organization is about being neat, but I learned at a pretty young age what our household ‘mess’ tolerance was. As a visual-tactile person, having physical reminders around (of each of my dozen current projects) helped further my creative stim.

But Mom encouraged me to put things away as I completed each phase of a task. This ‘full circle thought processing’ has been instrumental in how I’ve learned to arrange my time, to-dos, and even keep my workspace… to the point where friends are surprised when I tell them I wasn’t always so organized!”

Allison, Linda’s daughter 

Linda Samuels, CPO-CD® is a Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger & Speaker

No Difference

“Living with a professional organizer is exactly like living with a professional dog writer or a public relations professional. In other words, I haven’t noticed any difference in living with Janine since she opened her organizing business nine years ago.”

Barry, Janine’s husband 

Janine Adams, CPO-CD®, CPO® is a Professional Organizer, Speaker & Blogger 

Joyful

“I love living with a professional organizer because we both enjoy living an organized life. We are two peas in a pod.  No clothes on the floor, kitchen counters are clear, our home hosts others and our lives operate smoothly. We partner on many of the home responsibilities and work together in businesses. Each of us takes on responsibilities by our strengths and availability. We share calendars through Outlook and each Sunday evening have a family meeting to know what is going on for the week for each of us. Our collaboration and communication make the most of our mutual view of being organized.”

J.Q., Ellen’s husband

Ellen Delap, CPO® is a Professional Organizer, Productivity Consultant & Blogger

Bonus With A Twist

“I realize now, after many years away from home, living on my own and with roommates, how much I learned from my mom. There are things I do, daily routines, housekeeping quirks that I do because of her, because of the way she kept our house; clean, organized, with a little twist. I love the fact that I grew up in a house with a professional organizer. Yes, there were times I didn’t understand why we needed to do ‘the quick clean’ before my grandma came to visit, or why a To Do/Packing List was a necessity for every travel adventure (including weekend trips), but these small additions to my growing up have become extremely helpful tools as an adult.

I don't know where I’d be without my mom, without the lessons she’s taught me. I attest what I’ve learned to her being an exceptional mom. Being a professional organizer was just a bonus.”

Cassie, Linda’s daughter

Linda Samuels, CPO-CD® is a Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger & Speaker 

I don’t know about you, but I really loved hearing from the family members of my colleagues. Living with organizers runs the spectrum from normal to predictable to fun to life changing and everything in between. Were there any surprises here? I’d love to hear your thoughts (or your families.) Come join the conversation!

Erratic temperatures and a changing landscape accompany the fall season. One day it’s warm. The next it’s blustery. One day the trees are covered with intensely colored leaves. The next they’re bare. Change and variety are abundant. The swirling leaves accentuate the feelings within. With all the tumult, how do we engage in mindfulness?

Do transitions and uncertainty have you feeling unsettled? For me, the churning I see outside mirrors what I’m experiencing inside. During these times, being mindful and open helps me feel centered and grateful. If you're feeling stressed by the season and upcoming holidays keep reading. You'll discover ways to shift your focus to help you feel more energized, mindful, and grateful. 

1. Connect

The season of gatherings and parties is here. I’m looking forward to going to and hosting many events from birthdays to Thanksgiving to dinner parties and more. I enjoy hosting as much as being a guest. I’m grateful for the face-to-face time celebrating and hanging out with family and friends. My heart feels full and grateful being around those that I love.

2. Dance

There’s nothing quite like dancing to any type of music (live or recorded) that makes me feel alive. The other night my husband and I went to a dance party, where a favorite band, Zydegroove, was playing. Not only did we enjoy hours of dancing, but we also got to hear great music and see wonderful friends. Surprisingly it was my face that hurt (not my legs) from all the hours of smiling. Dancing was joy and smile inducing.

3. Look

Whether it’s the red and orange leaves, the morning light streaming in through the windows, or my blue violet office area, I’m drawn to color in its variety of hues. My eyes are delighted, and my heart beats more quickly when I stop to soak in the visual beauty that abounds.

4. Touch

While I’m not thrilled about wearing extra layers or bundling up, I am enjoying the textures of the wonderfully cozy blankets, velveteen gloves, and super soft sweaters that get layered on these days to keep me warm. I literally enjoy feeling my way through the season.

5. Write

For the writers among us, I know you appreciate the value of the blank page. This fresh canvas gives us a place to sort, share, challenge, and question. In times of pain, happiness and everything in between, we have the written word as our source of solace. As a journal writer, turned author and blogger, I'm grateful for this form of expression to share and connect both with myself and with all of you.

6. Learn

Education comes in many forms such as life lessons, conversations, or more traditional learning. Recently, I took a few social media courses. I attended Melanie Duncan’s Pinterest online webinar with a self-study component, and Lisa Kaslyn’s Content Marketing in person course at a local venue, Watercooler. Both were affirming (of what I already knew) and valuable (what I want to learn.) I appreciated these opportunities to expand my thinking and feel invigorated.

7. Explore

Whether I’m reading a new book, like Alina Tugend’s Better By Mistake, checking out a blog post such as Karla Jennings' “10 Adorable Characteristics Happy People Have”, or gathering with colleagues, considering other ideas and perspectives develops new connections in my brain. This past weekend, I spent several hours with veteran NAPO professional organizer colleagues. We discussed ethical, organizing, and business challenges and successes. We told stories and supported each other over the sudden loss of one of our industry leaders and mentors, Angela Wallace, who will be deeply missed. Especially important in times of loss and sadness, idea exploring and sharing creates those ah-ha moments and life affirming sparks.

Being human means living in a state of flux. We can let this unnerve us, or instead, we can embrace our moments with energy, openness, and gratitude. How do you engage in mindfulness? Come join the conversation.

8 Lessons LearnedWe are human beings that make mistakes. It’s impossible to go through life without taking some wrong turns, isn’t it? Of course our mistakes will vary as much as the lessons or growth we experience from them. And while there’s nothing quite as effective as hands-on learning, we can also learn something from other people’s stories. I enlisted help from a generous group of wonderful colleagues (Andrea Sharb, Cena Block, Peggy Pardo, Sheila Delson, April Lane Benson, Susan Lasky, Yota Schneider, and Sue West.) I asked them, “Can you describe a personal mistake or failure, which was accompanied by learning and growth?” Their responses are poignant, motivating, and inspiring. My deepest gratitude goes to each of them for bravely sharing their lessons with us. If you’re grappling with unresolved mistakes or feelings of failure, keep reading to discover some powerful, forward-thinking strategies that might work for you.

Can you describe a personal mistake or failure, which was accompanied by learning and growth? . . .

Slowing Down

“A significant source of failure for me: taking on too much, becoming overwhelmed and not completing tasks as a result. For many years I felt like I was failing everyday. An ADHD diagnosis and learning about how my brain works helped build awareness around what was happening so I could begin to slow this cycle. Now, a couple of my daily best practices questions help me maintain an ongoing awareness around this: 

Is this new opportunity just shiny, or will it truly energize me in the long run?

Am I relying on found time to get to what's most important?"

Andrea Sharb, CPO-CD®, ACC®, COC®, CPO® – Professional Organizer & ADHD Productivity Coach

Letting Go of Perfection

“One thing I struggled with early on in business was waiting till I had it 'right' before launching something new. It didn't matter whether it was a class, a blog post, a workshop, or a new pricing package… I was stopped because it didn't feel 'ready'.  This is something with which I know many mompreneurs struggle. Getting it right is largely connected to the hidden insecurity of not feeling good enough. (YES, those insecurities always seem to be lurking behind the scenes!) So, my PERSONAL MISTAKE was to wait, wait, wait… and use 'getting it right' as an excuse to stay stuck.  When I hired a coach, and she held this 'pattern' up so I could see it, I set a date and launched - in all my imperfection. What I learned was that waiting to launch to make it perfect was safer. Launching was more risky - but ultimately served MORE people… and allowed me to let go of the perfection.”

Cena Block – Business Coach, Author & Speaker

Trusting Instincts

“Most of the biggest mistakes I've made in my life have happened when I didn't listen to the ‘little voice inside my head’, call it instinct or intuition, and instead listened to others because I wasn't confident enough in my abilities. Hindsight has taught me to pay attention to what my gut is telling me and trust my own judgment. This has helped me to develop confidence in my decisions and talents.”

Peggy Pardo – Interior Decorator, Professional Organizer, Author, & Blogger

Doing No Harm

“One big personal mistake: assuming too much reliance and trust on others over myself. Betrayal and abandonment resulted when I was given an ultimatum over someone I wanted to marry – their way or the highway. I chose "my way!"  An excruciating lesson thirty years ago became my greatest blessing since. I've learned the value of forgiveness and tolerance of other’s mistakes, and my own as well.  We all try to do the best we can. Today this lesson impacts my daily decisions both personally and professionally.  Whenever possible – do no harm!”

Sheila Delson, CPO-CD® – Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization

Trusting Others

“Over thirty years ago, my husband began a retirement account for me that I contributed to each year. He did extremely well and my small initial investment grew by a multiple by 30! The tech bubble burst. I lost about 80% of that paper profit. I got extremely angry and took the management of the account away from him, which made him very angry. I put what money was left in a hedge fund and lost almost all the rest! What I learned was that I needed to totally trust my husband who had already more than proved himself.”

April Lane Benson, Ph.D. – Psychologist & Author

Honoring Imperfections

“As a professional organizer, I am ‘supposed’ to stay organized.  As a productivity coach, I am ‘supposed’ to walk my talk.  As a human being, I often fall short.  For a long time, I felt this dichotomy between knowing and doing made me an imposter. Even though I was frequently successful in following my own advice, I was never consistent, so how could I advise clients? 

A wonderful thing happened when I learned to truly accept myself, with humor and grace (which also became Step #2 in my 7-Step PowerPlan to Success).  As I shared my challenges with prospects and clients, their reaction was totally supportive and even relieved that I wasn’t ‘perfect.’  They felt I deeply understood their issues, and could help them break free from their own inner critic.”

Susan Lasky, M.A., SCAC – Board Certified Coach & Professional Organizer

Forgiving Self

“I've had my share of mistakes but once I begin to think about them in terms of the growth and learning that followed, they stop looking like mistakes. Of course not every mistake is accompanied by meaningful growth. There are mistakes I've made that simply highlight an aspect of myself that needs to be known.

What comes to mind is how I left corporate. I hadn't been happy for a while but instead of thinking it through, I just quit. As a result, I've had to backtrack numerous times and learn how to deal with the aftermath. I had to learn how to build a business from the ground up, keep going despite the obstacles, and forgive myself for not knowing it all. I believe I am a better coach because of all I've been through.”

Yota Schneider, Seasons of Change Certified Master Coach – Life Transitions Coach, Workshops & Retreat Facilitator, Blogger, & Mindfulness Meditation Practitioner

Listening to Intuition

“I was a late bloomer to listening to the inner, intuitive voice which is uniquely mine. Any time that quiet whisper of a voice spoke to me, I ignored it, not believing in it. The growth came through learning to feel my feelings, so that my voice would grow louder and stronger. The learning came about due to errors of experience, through work with a therapist who didn't let me get away with intellectualizing, my work with clients who taught (and teach) me more than they will ever know, and my coaching program, where I learned even deeper listening skills.”

Sue West, CPO-CD®, COC® – Organizing & ADHD Coach

The deep knowing that each person has experienced by making mistakes, choosing wrong paths, and failing is so inspiring. We’ve all been there. It can be painful to grow. However, the silver lining is that we can use those lessons to have healthier, more productive, and happier lives. We can also use our experiences to help others.

Which lessons resonate with you? Do you have a personal learning experience to share? Come join the conversation.

Navigating Choices & DecisionsChoices are all around us. The small and large decisions we make are influenced by our perspective, experiences, and way our brain processes. The complexity of how our minds work means that some decisions we make are logical and some are not. Some are healthy and some are anything but.

Decisions can be made boldly, carelessly, doggedly, creatively, emotionally, logically, laboriously, or freely. We can toss a coin or spend days deliberating about options. Decisions can be made in solitude or collaboratively. Simple choices like, “What color shirt am I going to wear?” are juxtaposed by more challenging questions such as, “Which room should I organize first?”

According to the Time article, “Making Choices: How Your Brain Decides,” neuroscience journalist, Maia Szalazvitz, said that each day we’re asked to make thousands of small and large decisions. She refers to a California Institute of Technology study that examined how the brain decides. The study indicated that there are two distinct networks for decision-making. One network analyzes the overall value, the risk versus the reward of a specific choice. The other network guides behavior.

Sometimes the decisions we make are obvious and sometimes quite gray. This past weekend, I had the honor of being on a “Professional Ethics” panel, sponsored by the NAPO-NY chapter. We talked about the NAPO Code of Ethics and also shared various scenarios and sticky situations, which required discussing the ethical choices we might make. It was fascinating to hear the diversity of ideas, perspectives, agreements, and disagreements. But again, it all came back to choice. Do we take action, and if so, what? Or, are there times when it’s appropriate to do nothing, and taking no action is the choice?

What I love most is that we have the ability to choose. These choices are available to us at every moment. Our yeses, nos, and maybes of today, define our tomorrows.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. How do you decide? What allows you to be comfortable or satisfied with your decisions? What have you learned from making decisions? Come join the conversation.