One of the things my organizing clients frequently say to me is, “Linda, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  They say that because I’m there for them 100% to help them move past overwhelm and reach their goals in the organizing areas they find challenging. While our organizing sessions are often filled with fun and humor, I take my role as helper and support person seriously. I’m grateful for the trust my clients place in me.

Being in a supportive role means suspending my own agenda so that I can help my clients focus on their needs. This is integral to the organizing work that I do. While I love helping others, it’s essential that I rejuvenate and help myself too. Otherwise I’m no good to anyone else.

These days are particularly full with running Oh, So Organized!, working with my clients, being President of ICD, writing, presenting, traveling, managing family responsibilities and more. Recharging is essential. Being outside helps me.

On a recent walk, my racing thoughts of to dos slowed down as I breathed in and shifted the focus to my senses. I noticed the bright sun and green around me, felt the warm summer air, heard the birds conversing and leaves rustling, and smelled the earthy scent of the path below my feet. My walk through the woods led me to one of my favorite spots by the river.

Once there, I planted myself on a rock in the middle of the river. I was surrounded by water. I felt centered and calm as the sun warmed me, the river flowed around me, and I breathed in and out deeply. The river helped me, so that I could continue helping others.

I’d love to hear from you. Come join the conversation and share with us. What are your thoughts? What helps you rejuvenate?

Perhaps now, more than any other season, it’s a time of giving. Enticements to shop, spend, and find those perfect gifts, along with increased solicitation requests to make charitable donations, fuel our urge to give. We feel good and balanced when we give. I’m not just talking about physical or monetary gifts.

In the last few weeks, I’ve experienced how giving comes in many other forms.

7 Types of Gifts Your People Will Love

Gift of Time – Recently, my husband and I were invited to share a lovely home cooked meal and leisurely conversation with wonderful friends. After dinner, we went to a reading of new play sponsored by the Hudson Stage Company. We continued our evening out with dessert and coffee at a local restaurant. The gift was in the time spent together.

Gift of Teaching  – My daughter, who is an excellent cook, gave me cooking lessons for my birthday. She is the teacher. Allison created and put on a flash drive a list of her favorite cooking sites and recipes. The gift includes purchasing the ingredients and making five main dishes and desserts that we’ll cook together. So far we’ve had two lessons. She’s a great teacher and fabulous company. Cooking, smiling, talking, wine drinking, all while learning from my daughter.

Gift of Repair  – There are always things that need fixing. I feel lucky that my husband happens to be pretty darn amazing at repairing things when he has the time. Of course, time is what’s in the shortest supply. Recently, he fixed an overhead light by installing a new socket. It’s a light I regularly use that had literally been on the blink for a long time. Every time I turn it on, I think of Steve. I’m grateful for him and his expertise. This was a simple, yet love-filled repair.

Gift of Music – We were at a recent holiday party with live Cajun and Zydeco music. Being that many of the guests were also musicians, they brought their instruments so they could jam together. As they played, sharing their gifts, I listened and danced. It was joyful.

Gift of Warmth – At that same party with the live music, there was also an outdoor fire going. At one point, I found myself outside in the cold air, entranced by the fire. It gave off such warmth. And it wasn’t just the heat. As I sat there, watching the flames swirl and roar, different people came and went sharing stories, conversation, and laughter. I was warm from the fire and the good company.

Gift of Donating  – Like you, I’m sure there are many local and international charities that you regularly support. We can donate time, money, or both. Some of the charities that I regularly give to include the Institute for Challenging Disorganization, National Association of Professional Organizers, Guiding Eyes for the Blind, Temple Israel of Northern Westchester, and the Croton Caring Committee.

Gift of Gratitude – There is so much to be grateful for like our family, friends, health, work, and well-being. I’m thankful for my amazing clients and the trust they have in me to help them with their organizing challenges. I’m in awe of their perseverance, creativity, intelligence, and warmth. To express my appreciation, I just launched a Client Loyalty Program, which automatically rewards Oh, So Organized! clients for their ongoing loyalty and trust. To find out more, click here.

It’s the giving season. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities to be on both the giving and receiving end. Ben Carson said, “Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give.”  I suspect it’s actually a bit of each – a balance between giving and learning how to receive. What resonates with you? What are you noticing this giving season?

8 Lessons LearnedWe are human beings that make mistakes. It’s impossible to go through life without taking some wrong turns, isn’t it? Of course our mistakes will vary as much as the lessons or growth we experience from them. And while there’s nothing quite as effective as hands-on learning, we can also learn something from other people’s stories. I enlisted help from a generous group of wonderful colleagues (Andrea Sharb, Cena Block, Peggy Pardo, Sheila Delson, April Lane Benson, Susan Lasky, Yota Schneider, and Sue West.) I asked them, “Can you describe a personal mistake or failure, which was accompanied by learning and growth?” Their responses are poignant, motivating, and inspiring. My deepest gratitude goes to each of them for bravely sharing their lessons with us. If you’re grappling with unresolved mistakes or feelings of failure, keep reading to discover some powerful, forward-thinking strategies that might work for you.

Can you describe a personal mistake or failure, which was accompanied by learning and growth? . . .

Slowing Down

“A significant source of failure for me: taking on too much, becoming overwhelmed and not completing tasks as a result. For many years I felt like I was failing everyday. An ADHD diagnosis and learning about how my brain works helped build awareness around what was happening so I could begin to slow this cycle. Now, a couple of my daily best practices questions help me maintain an ongoing awareness around this: 

Is this new opportunity just shiny, or will it truly energize me in the long run?

Am I relying on found time to get to what's most important?"

Andrea Sharb, CPO-CD®, ACC®, COC®, CPO® – Professional Organizer & ADHD Productivity Coach

Letting Go of Perfection

“One thing I struggled with early on in business was waiting till I had it 'right' before launching something new. It didn't matter whether it was a class, a blog post, a workshop, or a new pricing package… I was stopped because it didn't feel 'ready'.  This is something with which I know many mompreneurs struggle. Getting it right is largely connected to the hidden insecurity of not feeling good enough. (YES, those insecurities always seem to be lurking behind the scenes!) So, my PERSONAL MISTAKE was to wait, wait, wait… and use 'getting it right' as an excuse to stay stuck.  When I hired a coach, and she held this 'pattern' up so I could see it, I set a date and launched - in all my imperfection. What I learned was that waiting to launch to make it perfect was safer. Launching was more risky - but ultimately served MORE people… and allowed me to let go of the perfection.”

Cena Block – Business Coach, Author & Speaker

Trusting Instincts

“Most of the biggest mistakes I've made in my life have happened when I didn't listen to the ‘little voice inside my head’, call it instinct or intuition, and instead listened to others because I wasn't confident enough in my abilities. Hindsight has taught me to pay attention to what my gut is telling me and trust my own judgment. This has helped me to develop confidence in my decisions and talents.”

Peggy Pardo – Interior Decorator, Professional Organizer, Author, & Blogger

Doing No Harm

“One big personal mistake: assuming too much reliance and trust on others over myself. Betrayal and abandonment resulted when I was given an ultimatum over someone I wanted to marry – their way or the highway. I chose "my way!"  An excruciating lesson thirty years ago became my greatest blessing since. I've learned the value of forgiveness and tolerance of other’s mistakes, and my own as well.  We all try to do the best we can. Today this lesson impacts my daily decisions both personally and professionally.  Whenever possible – do no harm!”

Sheila Delson, CPO-CD® – Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization

Trusting Others

“Over thirty years ago, my husband began a retirement account for me that I contributed to each year. He did extremely well and my small initial investment grew by a multiple by 30! The tech bubble burst. I lost about 80% of that paper profit. I got extremely angry and took the management of the account away from him, which made him very angry. I put what money was left in a hedge fund and lost almost all the rest! What I learned was that I needed to totally trust my husband who had already more than proved himself.”

April Lane Benson, Ph.D. – Psychologist & Author

Honoring Imperfections

“As a professional organizer, I am ‘supposed’ to stay organized.  As a productivity coach, I am ‘supposed’ to walk my talk.  As a human being, I often fall short.  For a long time, I felt this dichotomy between knowing and doing made me an imposter. Even though I was frequently successful in following my own advice, I was never consistent, so how could I advise clients? 

A wonderful thing happened when I learned to truly accept myself, with humor and grace (which also became Step #2 in my 7-Step PowerPlan to Success).  As I shared my challenges with prospects and clients, their reaction was totally supportive and even relieved that I wasn’t ‘perfect.’  They felt I deeply understood their issues, and could help them break free from their own inner critic.”

Susan Lasky, M.A., SCAC – Board Certified Coach & Professional Organizer

Forgiving Self

“I've had my share of mistakes but once I begin to think about them in terms of the growth and learning that followed, they stop looking like mistakes. Of course not every mistake is accompanied by meaningful growth. There are mistakes I've made that simply highlight an aspect of myself that needs to be known.

What comes to mind is how I left corporate. I hadn't been happy for a while but instead of thinking it through, I just quit. As a result, I've had to backtrack numerous times and learn how to deal with the aftermath. I had to learn how to build a business from the ground up, keep going despite the obstacles, and forgive myself for not knowing it all. I believe I am a better coach because of all I've been through.”

Yota Schneider, Seasons of Change Certified Master Coach – Life Transitions Coach, Workshops & Retreat Facilitator, Blogger, & Mindfulness Meditation Practitioner

Listening to Intuition

“I was a late bloomer to listening to the inner, intuitive voice which is uniquely mine. Any time that quiet whisper of a voice spoke to me, I ignored it, not believing in it. The growth came through learning to feel my feelings, so that my voice would grow louder and stronger. The learning came about due to errors of experience, through work with a therapist who didn't let me get away with intellectualizing, my work with clients who taught (and teach) me more than they will ever know, and my coaching program, where I learned even deeper listening skills.”

Sue West, CPO-CD®, COC® – Organizing & ADHD Coach

The deep knowing that each person has experienced by making mistakes, choosing wrong paths, and failing is so inspiring. We’ve all been there. It can be painful to grow. However, the silver lining is that we can use those lessons to have healthier, more productive, and happier lives. We can also use our experiences to help others.

Which lessons resonate with you? Do you have a personal learning experience to share? Come join the conversation.

What makes an organizing session successful? In the 20 plus years I’ve been working with clients, I’ve observed many things that have created positive organizing visits. Both organizer and client contribute to the success. If you desire a better organizing experience, consider adding some of these “ingredients” into the mix.

12 Ingredients For Successful Organizing Appointments

1. Self-Care – Organizing takes physical and emotional energy. Taking care of your basic needs are essential. It's important that you and your organizer are well rested, hydrated, and have eaten prior to organizing. When you’re exhausted and hungry, it’s more challenging to think clearly, be creative, and make decisions.

2. Distractions – Eliminate as many distractions as possible. Some common ones include phone calls, email, digital “dings,” visitors, pets or children. Think about what you can do in advance to minimize distractions so that you can receive full benefit from the organizing session that you’ve committed time and resources towards.

3. Trust – Establishing a trusting relationship is crucial. You might feel uncomfortable with someone seeing or touching your stuff. Just remember that your organizer needs to be someone you trust. They are there to support and help you and not to judge you.

4. Clarity – It’s important to understand some basic parameters at the start of each organizing session. Include these:

• What is the session’s focus?
• What are your goals for today?
• How many hours will we work?
• Are the goals realistic based on the time allotted?
• Are there any concerns or relevant information that might influence what we’ll do or how we’ll be working?

5. Preparation – In addition to thinking about what project you’ll be working on, collect the basic supplies you’ll need. Supplies might include sorting containers, markers, place to make notes, or receptacles like bins or trash bags for items being donated or removed.

6. Atmosphere – Organizing can be fun, especially if you lighten the mood with music, laughter, singing, and even dancing (and yes, I’ve done them all.)  There are also simple environmental enhancements that can boost the success of an organizing session. If the rooms are dark, turn on more lights or bring in additional lamps. If you respond well to aromas, burn a favorite candle with an uplifting or energizing scent. Consider the room temperature and make the necessary adjustments to be more comfortable.

7. Decisions – The client is the decision-maker and gets to establish the parameters for what stays, goes, gets touched or not. The organizer is the facilitator, supporter, question-asker, timekeeper, goals-reminder, and cheerleader. Successful sessions are client-centered.

8. Strengths – Notice what’s already working well. Pay attention to your strengths and what you’re good at. Collaborate with your organizer to design systems and strategies that play to your strengths and how you process. Some examples include activating visual, auditory, kinesthetic, verbal or emotional organizing strategies. Denslow Brown, organizer, coach and author, identifies nine of the modalities in her book, The Processing Modalities Guide.

9. Breaks – Include snacks, water, caffeine, or fresh air breaks when needed. It's time for a break when you notice waning energy levels, decision fatique, decreased focus, or agitation. Breaks might also include switching projects midstream. This could be driven by attention needs or a desire to shift to a less emotionally intense project.

10. Letting Go – Successful organizing sessions include letting go whether it’s physical objects, pre-conceived notions, negative thinking, or calendar clutter. While the challenge to let go can range from easy to ambivalent to impossible, clients often share with me how great they feel once they’ve done it. This is reflected in a positive shift in their mood, which is noticeable by their smiles, laughter, giddiness, and open, receptive body language.

11. Review – Know where you are at the beginning, middle and end of each session. Know where you’ve been, where you’re heading, where you are, and what you’ve accomplished. Discuss follow through items to be handled between appointments by organizer and client. Review the schedule for when you’ll connect and next meet.

12. Compassion – The most successful organizing sessions include full servings of compassion. Negative self-talk and disparaging remarks get left behind. Positive language like, “I’m becoming more organized,” or “I’m working on my organizing goals,” is substituted. We all struggle with something. We are all works in progress.

Have you experienced a successful organizing session? What ingredient was part of your mix? Come join the conversation and share.