When it comes to habits, we have some keepers, our good practices, and those less desirable or bad ones we’d like to see gone. Maintaining good ones and altering bad ones can be challenging. However, with some help and understanding about the science of habit formation and habit loops, it’s possible to make the changes you want.  When I think about my positive habits, they include meditating daily, walking in nature, and staying organized. Some of my less desirable habits are not getting enough exercise, eating too many sweets, and not planning meals. Can you relate to any of these?

There are two authors I’ve featured on the blog who wrote insightful and inspiring books about habit change. To learn more, click on the links below:

• The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

If you need help letting go of your bad habits, begin here. The folks at Quill just released an easy-to-understand infographic How to Reframe Bad Habits to Boost Your Productivity (see below) based on Charles Duhigg’s book The Power of Habit. The graphic concisely explains habit formation, habit change, and the three habit loop components- cue, routine, and reward. It also highlights the most common habits that can negatively affect your productivity and what to do about them. 

How to Reframe Bad Habits to Boost Your Productivity | Quill.com

As Charles Duhigg says,

“Transforming a habit isn’t necessarily easy or quick. It isn’t always simple. But it is possible. And now we understand how.”

Have you had success or challenges with habit change? Have you ever enlisted help to change a habit? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

We’ve all heard of, and some of us actually use to-do lists. They help us focus on our daily priorities, better manage our time, and increase our productivity.  Using these lists gives us an added benefit. We experience an endorphin rush, a ping of happy hormones when we cross off a completed task.

To-do lists are great, but have you considered making a to-don’t  list? In the article, 12 Things to Put on Your “To-Don’t” list Today, Marina Khidekel, editorial director at Thrive Global suggests adding to this list, “what you don’t actually need in your life, and which areas you can scale back on. The items on your to-don’t list are the tasks you should avoid for the sake of your focus, performance, and well-being.” Below are several to-don’ts Marina shared from the Thrive Global community:

Thrive Global Community’s To-Don’t List

• Don’t finish a book or movie you don’t enjoy

• Don’t do tasks that can be delegated

• Don’t work late all of the time

• Don’t go to every social event you’re invited to

• Don’t spend time with negative people

While my to-don’ts still reside in my brain, there are time management and productivity to-don’ts in addition to the ones mentioned above that I have on my internal list. 

Linda’s To-Don’t List:

• Don’t check my email when I first wake up

• Don’t let my priorities always come last

• Don’t show up late without letting the person know I’m running behind schedule

• Don’t automatically say “yes” to a request without considering if it’s feasible given my current schedule and commitments

• Don’t make an appointment without entering it on my calendar

• Don’t return from vacation, shopping, or the day and not put away my things

• Don’t leave the house without my watch unless it’s a no-watch-day

• Don’t worry about things that may never happen

• Don’t work continuously without taking water, bio, nature, or snack breaks

• Don’t wish away time

• Don’t rush through life

As I develop my to-don’t list, I’ll continue to add ideas. Do you have a to-don’t list? Do you see a value to creating one? Even if you haven’t made a list yet, what single item would you include? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!

Having just returned from Wisdom 2.0’s fantastic one and a half day Mindfulness in America summit in New York City, my head is swimming with the depth of conversations, ideas, and emotions that were heard and felt. About 600 people attended from all over the United States and other countries including China, Canada, and Ukraine. The speaker line-up was incredible and included dynamic leaders in the mindfulness movement such as Jon Kabat-Zinn, Tara Brach, and Soren Gordhamer. A wide range of perspectives on mindfulness was discussed including relevance for the military, healthcare, prison, politics, sports, social justice, communication, and personal growth.

The possibilities and ways that mindfulness is percolating in our society are exciting. The sessions were mostly interview-style with some group mindfulness meditations showered throughout. When Karen May, Vice President of People Development at Google, interviewed Chip Conley, hotelier and author, about cultivating and harnessing wisdom, she used the phrase, “pulling back the curtain on what’s possible.” Her idea encapsulated my overarching takeaway. Practicing and integrating mindfulness in our lives, helps us remove personal barriers so that we can be more open, present, and engaged for each moment. We pull back the curtain on our true selves. We become more available and clear for the possibilities that arise.

Here are some of my conference highlights.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

About two years ago, I took an 8-week MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) course created by Jon Kabat-Zinn and led by Laurence Magro through the Eileen Fisher Learning Lab. It was life changing. Since then, I’ve integrated into my life a daily mindfulness meditation practice along with living more mindfully. In this time, I’ve read many of Jon’s books and practiced with his meditations. Jon was the opening presenter at the Mindfulness summit and led us in a beautiful group mindfulness meditation. One of my favorite conference experiences was meeting him in person and having a brief conversation. He was gracious, encouraging, and present. 

Soren Gordhamer

Wisdom 2.0 founder and creator of the Mindfulness in America summit, Soren Gordhamer, offered the idea that engaging in mindfulness creates a “field of presence.” This is a gift that we can give to others in all situations as we listen and interact. Soren encouraged us to share our attention with the speakers instead of being distracted by our digital devices. The presenters would sense our focus, which would create a more welcoming environment for them to share their personal stories and ideas.

Chip Conley and Karen May

I loved Karen May’s interview with Chip Conley and their conversation about cultivating and harnessing wisdom. One of Chip’s tools for growing wisdom is to write down weekly what he’s learned. His positive ideas about aging included being able to recognize patterns and listen to your intuition more easily. Chip described that as someone who mentors and consults he often listens with closed eyes to enhance his “full body listening.” He also talked about being a “modern elder,” and is about to launch the Modern Elder Academy, which is devoted to helping people navigate midlife transitions.

Mark Bertolini and Dan Harris

Dan Harris, ABC anchor and 10% Happierauthor, interviewed Aetna CEO, Mark Bertolini. Mark’s severe skiing accident led him to explore alternate methods of recovery when regular medicine didn't work. He used cranial sacral therapy, yoga, and tantric and loving-kindness meditations to heal. After experiencing positive life-altering results, he introduced yoga and mindfulness practices into Aetna’s culture. As a result of the new programs, Aetna’s culture changed. Employees reduced stress 33%, were more productive, decreased health care expenses by $3,000 per year per person, made better decisions, and increased engagement by 1,200%. All of this came about because of Mark’s terrible accident. Dan Harris commented, 

“Horrible moments can create great change.”

Gisele Bündchen and Anderson Cooper

Anderson Cooper, CNN journalist and author, interviewed the effervescent model and author, Gisele Bündchen, about lessons from creating a meaningful life. One of the things she believes is that everyone has a unique gift. She said, “Use your gift in service of others.”

Michael Gervais and Soren Gordhamer

Soren Gordhamer interviewed Michael Gervais, sports psychologist for the Seattle Seahawks. One of the things Michael spoke about was the need for elite athletes to have “mastery of craft” and “mastery of self.”  He integrates mindfulness into the mastery-of-self-plan to help athletes develop awareness, insight, and wisdom.

Tara Brach

Tara Brach, psychologist, author, and meditation teacher, was one of the few presenters that spoke to us directly without being interviewed. She talked about developing compassion for our selves and others. Tara emphasized that self-compassion needs to come first. Without that, we can't fully offer compassion towards others. She shared poignant stories and led us in a profound loving-kindness meditation that had me in tears. A beautiful question she offered to extend to those in pain was,

“Where does it hurt?”

Arianna Huffington and Soren Gordhamer

For the final session, Soren interviewed author and businesswoman, Arianna Huffington. She talked about her company Thrive Global and their mission “to end the stress and burnout epidemic” by prioritizing our well-being. One of the products they’ve developed is the Thrive app (for Androids only), which helps establish personal technology boundaries by disconnecting with our phones so that we can reconnect with our selves.  Arianna mentioned a phrase that was new to me. I’m familiar with FOMO, fear of missing out, but JOMO, the joy of missing out, was new to me. JOMO encourages us to guiltlessly not engage in everything. Mindfully choose what’s meaningful. Embrace less.

As part of the conference wrap-up, Soren impressed upon us the uncertainty of life. He encouraged us to be purposeful with the time we have remaining. He said you don’t know if you have ten or 10,000 heartbeats left. Make your beats count. He asked,

“How do we want to spend those heartbeats?”

There were many other deep conversations and speakers. I’ve only shared some with you. Each one opened the door for possibilities and change. I left the conference with a sense of hope. Incredible people are working in small and large ways to infuse positive change for individuals, families, teams, groups, corporations, and the world through the path of mindfulness. Have any curtains of possibilities come forward for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come and join the conversation!

Motivation is a hot topic. We think a lot about what motivates us to take action and move toward our goals. We also spend a lot of time struggling with the things that de-motivate and prevent us from going forward. What gets in the way of your motivation?

We can identify and remove those obstacles by looking from the “challenges” perspective. As you read, note the challenges that resonate with you. Are there additional motivation challenges that you’ve experienced? What helps?

I’d love to learn about you. Please add to the conversation.

10 Common Motivation Challenges & Easy Solutions

1. Abundant Choices

When the options are too plentiful, they can overwhelm us with inaction. The thought of moving ahead becomes exhausting.

Tip: Narrow your choices to just two or three options. Pretend you have blinders on and ignore the external input. If you’re still stuck, ask a friend to be a sounding board.

2. Fear of Failure

Perfectionism, or fear of incorrectly doing something, can stop us from moving forward.

Tip: Being perfect isn’t possible. Striving to be our best is. Failing is an essential part of the journey. We learn by trial and error. As Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Test out this alternate perspective.

3. Fear of Success

Low self-esteem can compromise your view of success. You might doubt that success is possible and lack the motivation to attain it.

Tip: Look to the past. Acknowledge your small and large successes. Look at the present. Be aware of your current accomplishments. Practice noticing and appreciating your wins. Build from the past and present to reduce your fear and boost your confidence.

4. Lack of Clarity

When we don’t know which step is next or why we’re doing what we’re doing, we can quickly become de-motivated.

Tip: Take a step back. Set aside time to revisit your projects, goals, and values. Perhaps there has been a parameter shift, and it’s time to adjust.

“When we don’t know which step is next or why we’re doing what we’re doing, we can quickly become de-motivated.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

5. Exhaustion

Sleep is essential for the optimal mind and body functioning. When we’re exhausted, it’s difficult to remain motivated.

Tip: Review your current sleep patterns and needs. If lack of sleep contributes to your lack of motivation, make the necessary adjustments. Experiment with how much sleep you need to feel rested, alert, and ready for the day. Most adults need between 7-9 hours of sleep per night.

6. Comparison

Focusing on how we do or don’t measure up compared to our colleagues, family, friends, neighbors, or whoever only promotes unproductive thinking. This is a sure-fire formula for de-motivating ourselves. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It also can be the thief of motivation.

Tip: Forget about the “grass is greener” concept. It never is. Instead, practice gratitude. Focus on your gifts, successes, dreams, and desires. Build and encourage a life that is uniquely yours.

7. Excuses

We all make them. They are the negative messages we repeatedly tell ourselves, which prevent us from doing. We say things like, “I’d like to do ‘x,’ but I’m too tired or too busy or not smart enough or….”

Tip: Set the internal alert. Become aware of the excuses that are not useful, real, or true. Begin challenging them when they appear. Reframe the dialogue to the positive.

8. Drudgery

Routines can be helpful, but they can become so tedious that we lack the motivation to maintain them. 

Tip: If you are feeling bored, add the fun factor to the equation. Playing upbeat music, introducing pleasing colors, or bringing mood-boosting scents into your environment could make a difference to your patterns. How about a change in the pace or sequence of the routine? Experiment with altering one element and see how that influences your motivation.

9. Patience

We expect so much of ourselves and want instant results. When things aren’t happening as fast as we think they should be, it can de-motivate us to continue.

Tip: Striving to achieve, become, and do takes time. Extend yourself the gift of patience. 

10. Distractions

When your attention is pulled in too many directions, you can lose focus and motivation to work on what’s most important.

Tip: Pay attention to the “distraction-makers.” Are you being interrupted by people, sounds, emails, and phone calls? How can you minimize distractions during certain times of your day? Recently, I turned off all the dings and alerts on my electronic devices. The positive effects on my focus, productivity, and motivation have been noticeable.

We’re human. We experience times when our motivation wanes. That’s normal. Understanding which is your motivation challenge and implementing some of the suggested strategies will help get you back on track. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation. What de-motivates you? What gets you unstuck?