This past week, hundreds of professional organizers and productivity consultants from around the world gathered in Ft. Worth, Texas for the annual National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO) conference.  I’ve been in this industry for 26+ years, and while I haven’t gone to every meeting, I have attended many.  It’s always exciting to learn new things, keep a pulse on the industry, hang out face-to-face with wonderful colleagues, and make new friends. The learning sessions are terrific, yet it’s often the conversations between the courses that I enjoy most.

The essential education this year for me was around letting go. That theme and message continued to pop up in unexpected ways. The lessons I came away with are ones that I hope will be helpful for you too. After all, letting go can be quite challenging so adopting other strategies and perspectives can ease the process and our stress. My deepest gratitude to my NAPO, ICD and other colleagues for teaching, sharing, and exploring these letting go lessons with me.

7 Surprising Letting Go Lessons

1. You Thought You Had a Plan

When I travel, I like to organize and get my arrangements set ahead of time. While I can be spontaneous, I’m more of a planner. So months earlier I had arranged my hotel, flights, and ground transportation for the NAPO conference. At 5:50 am, and five minutes before I was leaving my house for the airport, I received a text from Southwest Air saying they had canceled my flight. After my initial shock and a few choice words, I took a deep breath and realized that Southwest makes it very easy to rebook your flight, so no need to panic. However, for some reason, all of Southwest’s trips for that day and the next four days were either canceled or sold out. I searched for a new flight on a different airline. Delta saved the day. Within 15 minutes I had booked a later trip. In turn, I arrived later than expected, but I did get to the conference.

Letting Go Lesson 1:

Let go of the plan and revise it when you need to.

2. Get Out Of Your Way

One of the first sessions I attended was about future thinking or foresight. The “Drivers of Change” brief generated by ASAE and available to NAPO members, delves into various trends that could have an influence on our business in the next ten to twenty years. We looked at some of the broad categories but spent most of our time discussing and brainstorming in small groups about specific topics that were especially relevant for our industry. While I found it fascinating, I also recognized how challenging it was to think that far ahead. As hard as it was to future think, putting my mind in that mode generated some exciting possibilities.

Letting Go Lesson 2:

Let go of difficult to open the door to possibilities. 

3. The Research Says

Another session I enjoyed was the one describing the survey the NAPO research committee conducted. The information was hot off the press and not ready to be fully shared. However, one stat was particularly fascinating and relevant to the work I do with my clients. When asked the people surveyed how they preferred to manage the belongings they no longer wanted, 75% of them preferred to donate the unwanted and 48% preferred to give them to friends or family.

Letting Go Lesson 3:

Letting go is easier when we give our belongings to people that will use and appreciate them.

4. Take A Walk On The Wild Side

I loved the quiet one-on-one conversations with my colleagues that often happened during meals, like one of the planned evening dinners I had. When we arrived at the restaurant, they told us it would be a 45-60 minute wait since we didn’t have a reservation. Waiting didn’t bother us because the Stockyards were a lively neighborhood to explore. We meandered down the block looking at stores, taking in the sights and sounds, and happening upon the Coliseum, which housed a 100-year old rodeo. My friend, Lynne Poulton got very excited. After some recon, which included meeting a rodeo Hall-of-Famer who encouraged us to get tickets, we skipped dinner and spent the evening watching cowboys wrangle, rope, and ride. As they say in Texas, “Wee-haw!”  It was unexpected, impromptu fun and an evening I’ll never forget.

Letting Go Lesson 4:

Let go of supposed to in favor of flexibility as you might miss out on something truly spectacular.

5. Perfection Alert

Professional organizer aka stand-up comedian, Janice Simon presented an excellent workshop about resiliency. I loved her premise that making regular deposits into your resiliency bank will better equip you to handle life’s storms. She also shared that when you are going through challenging times, it’s important to adjust your expectations. Ask questions like, “What really needs to be done?”  Or “What can be cut back?” A quote she shared from Donna Smallin resonated with me. Donna said, “Done is perfect.” 

Letting Go Lesson 5:

Let go of perfection, especially when done is good enough.

6. There Is Always Room To Grow

Sessions featured workshops that addressed the chronically disorganized population. One of these courses was the panel of colleagues Alison Lush, Diane Thompson, Vickie Dellaquila, Carrie Cooper, and Gayle Gruenberg, of ICD (Institute for Challenging Disorganization.) They shared poignant stories about their clients and the process they went through to help them. The stories were emotional, and at points brought tears to my eyes. The creativity, compassion, generosity, helping spirit, and knowledge that these colleagues embodied are inspiring. What struck me most was they all went through as much learning and change as their clients did. In the process of working with their clients, these organizers learned to let go of their expectations, experiment with alternate organizing strategies, and trust in their clients’ wisdom and resourcefulness. As they let go, their clients stepped forward.

Letting Go Lesson 6:

Let go of being the expert and make space for the wisdom of others to emerge.

7.  Lean In To That Scary Stuff

The last session I attended presented by Nettie Owens was an inspiring (and way too short) workshop about reinventing your business. One of the questions she asked was, “What are you holding onto that is no longer serving you?” She then had us write on an index card, “What do I need to let go of?” along with our response below. I wrote, “doubt.”  Then she asked us to tear up the card, which we obediently did. Once torn, she implored us to toss the pieces up in the air. Think confetti flying. Being the organizers that we were, this made us viscerally uncomfortable. We didn’t want to make a mess that someone had to clean up. Understanding our demographic, Nettie acknowledged our challenge and insisted that we do it anyway. After a short deliberation, I took the plunge and threw my pieces as high into the air as I could. What a liberating feeling! As I tossed the papers, I felt my doubt dispersing too.

Letting Go Lesson 7:

Let go of the stuff that’s holding you back.

As I continue to think about my time away, I know that more letting go lessons will surface. However, in the effort to follow Donna’s advice of “Done is perfect,” I’m going to wrap things up here. Did any of these letting go lessons resonate with you? Have you experienced a different letting go lesson? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The newest installment (v21) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature is here with my recent discoveries that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and better balance. I’ve included unique and inspiring life balance-related finds, which reflect this month’s blog theme. You are such a fantastic, engaged group. I am grateful for your presence and wisdom.

I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced. What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? . . .

1. Interesting Read – Balanced Habits

As this year comes to a close and you prepare for the New Year, thoughts about habits, those good and not-so-good ones, begin to surface. Do you want to be more organized, get more exercise, or be less stressed? While you might not be ready to change, you’re likely considering the possibilities. In this affirming, practical read, Atomic Habits – An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, author and speaker, James Clear, shares practical strategies based in biology, psychology, and neuroscience that will teach you how to build improved systems to support better habits.Clear says, “All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision.” If you are interested in shifting your balance towards more positive habits, you’ll benefit from reading Clear’s book. He says, “Small habits don’t add up. They compound. That’s the power of atomic habits. Tiny changes. Remarkable results.”

2. Interesting Resource  – Balanced Break

Life is busy. Super busy. Figuring out how (or when) to push that pause button and restore a piece of balance can be challenging. Be Time, a NYC-based company, has figured out a brilliant solution. Their high-end mobile meditation studio (housed in a bus,) brings the break to you. Parked in busy areas, Be Time invites you to “Step in, unplug and just breathe. A calm, quiet, inspiring place for some mind space.” Even though the bus is currently just available in Manhattan, I’m hoping that the concept will catch on to expand to other locations.

3. Interesting Product – Balanced Accessories

It’s no fun hunting for keys, sunglasses, or tissues in the depths of our tote bags. Have you experienced your things entering that deep abyss never to be found again? There’s something downright liberating about creating organization and balance with one simple step. The felt tote bag organizer from My Smart Organizer delivers. This versatile insert, available in an array of fun colors, will help you find your essentials in no time. 

4. Interesting Tech – Balanced Practice

As many of you know, I began practicing mindfulness meditation a few years ago. This daily practice has become an integral part of my life. Starting my day in this way creates more balance, calm, and gentleness towards others and myself. While I continue to take classes from various instructors, I practice guided meditation at home using recordings and apps. I’ve been experimenting with the Insight Timer app, which is available on iOS and Android platforms. Apparently, I’m not the only one that likes the app. They have over five million meditators that also agree. The practices are given by 3,000 teachers and include over 14,000 free-guided meditations that can be sorted by type, length, and a variety of other parameters.

5. Interesting Thought – Balanced Choices

Decision-making is a powerful thing. Each day provides a new chance for healthy or not-so-healthy options. We aren’t robots. We are human. Whether we are eating veggies or sweets, power walking or snuggling up on the sofa, remember to be kind to you. It’s not about perfection. It’s about finding a balance that works for you.

What are your exciting finds? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

What do I mean by better balance and this season? It’s the holiday season that I’m referencing, a busy, chaotic, party and shopping-heavy time of year. By better balance, think about aiming for a balance that’s right for you, good enough, and factors in the shift that happens as festivities ramp up and the year draws to a close. I encourage you to let go of perfection as an idea or pursuit. It’s not necessary and will only add to your stress and unhappiness. Instead, what ways can you create a reasonable balance that incorporates what’s most important to you and limits the “should” or “have-to” elements?

3 Ways to Find a Better Balance . . .

FOMO and JOMO

Let’s start with the simple “yes” and “no.” There will be invitations to parties and gatherings. There will be requests to engage in a variety of personal and professional activities. There will be things we might not want to do but will feel obligated or responsible for doing. Just remember that you always have a choice. That decision is either a yes or a no. Remember that you don’t have to say “yes” to everything unless that’s what works for you. Two acronyms come to mind: FOMO and JOMO. The first, FOMO is the fear of missing out. We sometimes say yes to something just because we don’t want to be the only ones not present. But that yes might not always serve us. The second phrase is JOMO, the joy of missing out. This encourages you to honor yourself and recognize that not doing is sometimes the option that is most beneficial. In some instances, saying “no” brings you closer to being more balanced.

GOOD STUFF

Engaging in what truly brings you joy is a way of tipping your balance in a positive direction. Make sure to include as much of the “good stuff” this time of year. It might mean spending extended time with loved ones, cooking special holiday meals, throwing a gathering for friends, relaxing at home with a good book and a cozy blanket, or taking a long walk in the snow. There were so many parts of the Thanksgiving holiday that I enjoyed. Having my family around was beautiful. My heart is still full just thinking about their visit. Baking cookies together were at the top of the list of balance-inducing, joy-filled activities. Baking was something we did a lot of when our daughters were young and don't do as often now that they’re grown. Cassie, our youngest daughter, wanted to make Moravian Christmas cookies together, a recipe we baked many times when she was little (see video at end of post.) It was so much fun to cook with Cass, her boyfriend, and my husband. Measuring ingredients, stirring the mixture, rolling the dough, and cutting out shapes with the cookie cutters involved a present moment focus and mindfulness that enhanced our time together.

SQUARE ONE

Better balance also comes in the form of returning to square one and revisiting the basics. Especially this time of year, a bit of tweaking can go a long way to preparing you and your home for the holidays. While you might not have the time or energy now to take on a huge organizing project, think about the smaller ones that will create better balance. How about doing a quick edit of your clothing closet or drawers? Instead of that bursting at the seams feeling, you can create some breathing room for your clothes and self. Instead of decluttering all surfaces, pick one place in a central area that when clear, will help you move through your day more efficiently and make holiday entertaining less stressful. Then there are the other types of basics like having some additional pantry (beverages, crackers, pasta, cookies, nuts, cheese, dried fruit, paper goods) items on hand for last minute entertaining and guests. There are some self-basics like getting enough sleep, exercise, and hydration. Since we’re prone to indulging during the holidays, returning to these basics is essential. One of my go-to-balance-bringing-basics is meditating daily. Routinely practicing mindfulness meditation is especially helpful during this season to create groundedness, calm, and balance.

What helps with a better balance? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

Baking together . . .

8 Lessons LearnedWe are human beings that make mistakes. It’s impossible to go through life without taking some wrong turns, isn’t it? Of course our mistakes will vary as much as the lessons or growth we experience from them. And while there’s nothing quite as effective as hands-on learning, we can also learn something from other people’s stories. I enlisted help from a generous group of wonderful colleagues (Andrea Sharb, Cena Block, Peggy Pardo, Sheila Delson, April Lane Benson, Susan Lasky, Yota Schneider, and Sue West.) I asked them, “Can you describe a personal mistake or failure, which was accompanied by learning and growth?” Their responses are poignant, motivating, and inspiring. My deepest gratitude goes to each of them for bravely sharing their lessons with us. If you’re grappling with unresolved mistakes or feelings of failure, keep reading to discover some powerful, forward-thinking strategies that might work for you.

Can you describe a personal mistake or failure, which was accompanied by learning and growth? . . .

Slowing Down

“A significant source of failure for me: taking on too much, becoming overwhelmed and not completing tasks as a result. For many years I felt like I was failing everyday. An ADHD diagnosis and learning about how my brain works helped build awareness around what was happening so I could begin to slow this cycle. Now, a couple of my daily best practices questions help me maintain an ongoing awareness around this: 

Is this new opportunity just shiny, or will it truly energize me in the long run?

Am I relying on found time to get to what's most important?"

Andrea Sharb, CPO-CD®, ACC®, COC®, CPO® – Professional Organizer & ADHD Productivity Coach

Letting Go of Perfection

“One thing I struggled with early on in business was waiting till I had it 'right' before launching something new. It didn't matter whether it was a class, a blog post, a workshop, or a new pricing package… I was stopped because it didn't feel 'ready'.  This is something with which I know many mompreneurs struggle. Getting it right is largely connected to the hidden insecurity of not feeling good enough. (YES, those insecurities always seem to be lurking behind the scenes!) So, my PERSONAL MISTAKE was to wait, wait, wait… and use 'getting it right' as an excuse to stay stuck.  When I hired a coach, and she held this 'pattern' up so I could see it, I set a date and launched - in all my imperfection. What I learned was that waiting to launch to make it perfect was safer. Launching was more risky - but ultimately served MORE people… and allowed me to let go of the perfection.”

Cena Block – Business Coach, Author & Speaker

Trusting Instincts

“Most of the biggest mistakes I've made in my life have happened when I didn't listen to the ‘little voice inside my head’, call it instinct or intuition, and instead listened to others because I wasn't confident enough in my abilities. Hindsight has taught me to pay attention to what my gut is telling me and trust my own judgment. This has helped me to develop confidence in my decisions and talents.”

Peggy Pardo – Interior Decorator, Professional Organizer, Author, & Blogger

Doing No Harm

“One big personal mistake: assuming too much reliance and trust on others over myself. Betrayal and abandonment resulted when I was given an ultimatum over someone I wanted to marry – their way or the highway. I chose "my way!"  An excruciating lesson thirty years ago became my greatest blessing since. I've learned the value of forgiveness and tolerance of other’s mistakes, and my own as well.  We all try to do the best we can. Today this lesson impacts my daily decisions both personally and professionally.  Whenever possible – do no harm!”

Sheila Delson, CPO-CD® – Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization

Trusting Others

“Over thirty years ago, my husband began a retirement account for me that I contributed to each year. He did extremely well and my small initial investment grew by a multiple by 30! The tech bubble burst. I lost about 80% of that paper profit. I got extremely angry and took the management of the account away from him, which made him very angry. I put what money was left in a hedge fund and lost almost all the rest! What I learned was that I needed to totally trust my husband who had already more than proved himself.”

April Lane Benson, Ph.D. – Psychologist & Author

Honoring Imperfections

“As a professional organizer, I am ‘supposed’ to stay organized.  As a productivity coach, I am ‘supposed’ to walk my talk.  As a human being, I often fall short.  For a long time, I felt this dichotomy between knowing and doing made me an imposter. Even though I was frequently successful in following my own advice, I was never consistent, so how could I advise clients? 

A wonderful thing happened when I learned to truly accept myself, with humor and grace (which also became Step #2 in my 7-Step PowerPlan to Success).  As I shared my challenges with prospects and clients, their reaction was totally supportive and even relieved that I wasn’t ‘perfect.’  They felt I deeply understood their issues, and could help them break free from their own inner critic.”

Susan Lasky, M.A., SCAC – Board Certified Coach & Professional Organizer

Forgiving Self

“I've had my share of mistakes but once I begin to think about them in terms of the growth and learning that followed, they stop looking like mistakes. Of course not every mistake is accompanied by meaningful growth. There are mistakes I've made that simply highlight an aspect of myself that needs to be known.

What comes to mind is how I left corporate. I hadn't been happy for a while but instead of thinking it through, I just quit. As a result, I've had to backtrack numerous times and learn how to deal with the aftermath. I had to learn how to build a business from the ground up, keep going despite the obstacles, and forgive myself for not knowing it all. I believe I am a better coach because of all I've been through.”

Yota Schneider, Seasons of Change Certified Master Coach – Life Transitions Coach, Workshops & Retreat Facilitator, Blogger, & Mindfulness Meditation Practitioner

Listening to Intuition

“I was a late bloomer to listening to the inner, intuitive voice which is uniquely mine. Any time that quiet whisper of a voice spoke to me, I ignored it, not believing in it. The growth came through learning to feel my feelings, so that my voice would grow louder and stronger. The learning came about due to errors of experience, through work with a therapist who didn't let me get away with intellectualizing, my work with clients who taught (and teach) me more than they will ever know, and my coaching program, where I learned even deeper listening skills.”

Sue West, CPO-CD®, COC® – Organizing & ADHD Coach

The deep knowing that each person has experienced by making mistakes, choosing wrong paths, and failing is so inspiring. We’ve all been there. It can be painful to grow. However, the silver lining is that we can use those lessons to have healthier, more productive, and happier lives. We can also use our experiences to help others.

Which lessons resonate with you? Do you have a personal learning experience to share? Come join the conversation.