“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”

- Anna Quindlen

Life’s not perfect, but it’s pretty darn wonderful. Why are we so demanding of our selves, others, and situations? Why do we expect perfection, when we know it doesn’t exist, except perhaps if we’re talking about chocolate lava cake? Letting go of the idea of perfection is one of the secrets to happiness.

I am not suggesting that you abandon striving for excellence. I’m instead encouraging you to consider another perspective, one that keeps you moving forward in a positive way. When perfection is the goal, it can cause procrastination or paralysis. How about replacing the perfection goal with excellence, personal best, pretty freaking awesome, really great, or good enough. What else might work?

On your way to fabulous, remember to give yourself a high five, and delight in what you are doing and being. Be grateful for the joy and beauty that is present every day. It’s time to let go of perfect. Go out there and be awesome! It’s good enough.

When you let go of perfection, what will be possible? Come join the conversation and share your thoughts about letting go, perfection, and good enough.

Tonight there was no question that my next step was to write this post. I’m long overdue and I could delay no more. That’s how it goes. Sometimes our next step is so clear that there is no debating, procrastinating, or confusion. On the other hand, sometimes that next step isn’t obvious.

Finding the next step has to do with locating where you are. The where I’m referring to is not a specific physical location but your state of mind. Once you know where you are, clarity about “next” can more easily be seen.

In my computer and work area are many small, colorful toys. In addition to this fun collection, I also have a variety of phrases on signs and notes. Recently, I realized that these words help me locate where I am and prompt me towards next. I’d like to share them with you.

6 Next Step Prompts

“Things to do”  - This small metal sign reminds me that next often involves looking at my list. Do I know what’s most important? Have my priorities shifted? Have I been realistic in what can be accomplished on that day? This sign keeps me focused, especially when I’m not sure what to do next.

“Let’s leave worry as a last resort.” – This quote written on an index card is something my Uncle Lew says. Worry is unproductive. When worry starts to creep into my thoughts, this note cues me to shift my focus to something useful.

“I write to understand as much as to be understood.” – This Elie Wiesel quote is printed on a piece of paper. It suggests that sometimes next involves pausing to write and reflect. From this understanding and discovery of where I am, the next step appears.

“There is no end to what we say is getting ready.” – This quote handwritten on a purple sticky note is something my mom said. It means that while preparation is important, we need to recognize when we’ve done enough. Let go of fear and perfection. Take that next step, even if you’re not 100% ready or sure.

“I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.” – This quote by Anna Quindlen stands upright on a small card. It encourages me to appreciate now, next and everything along the way.

“Relax” – These cutout metal letters remind me that I can’t work 24/7. A balanced life means that rest, sleep and not doing are essential. That word says to me, “Linda, it’s time to unwind. It’s time to stop.”

I’d love to hear from you. Come join in the conversation. What helps you find next?

Gratitude is something I think about every day. The smallest things like the joy I feel when I see a vibrant color to the larger ones, like being thankful for a loving family. As Thanksgiving arrives this week, gratitude and thankfulness are in my thoughts even more than usual.

My husband and I have always enjoyed having gatherings. There’s nothing quite like bringing positive energy and love into our home. Even before we were married, we hosted our share of events. The tradition has continued over the last 27 years to include birthdays, holidays and impromptu gatherings.

In particular, we love hosting Thanksgiving. Each time it rolls around, we reminisce about two of our classic Thanksgiving adventures.  No matter how many times we recall these stories, we continue to delight in them.

The first Thanksgiving we hosted was shortly after we got married. We invited both sides of the family to our loft in Brooklyn. Steve was very serious about cooking the main dishes (turkey, stuffing and gravy.) He worked for hours, maybe days, preparing the gravy. At the last minute, when it was time to strain the giblets from the liquid, and right as our guests were about it arrive, I heard this big scream coming from the kitchen. I then heard many other explicatives, which I won’t repeat here. It sounded like someone was wounded.

“I’m grateful for the mishaps of life.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Just as his aunt and uncle arrived, Steve poured the gravy into the strainer without a dish below to catch the gravy. As he poured, he realized his “prize” gravy was going right down the drain! Right after that happened, his aunt walked over to check things out and said to him, “Do you think you have enough gravy?” Distressed, Steve turned to me and asked me to call his mother to see if she could bring some extra gravy. Thank goodness for mothers!

It wasn’t funny at the time, but over the years, it’s become one of our favorite stories. It makes us laugh every time think about it. I’m grateful for the mishaps of life. They remind us that we’re not perfect, we are flexible and we can laugh at ourselves.

Fast-forward about five years from our first Thanksgiving. This particular Thanksgiving was the first one we hosted as new parents. Our oldest daughter, now 20, was only six months old at the time. Steve and I remember waking up early to prepare everything. About an hour or so before our family and friends arrived, we commented to one another how smoothly things were going and how not stressed out we were. I suppose at that point we should have knocked on wood for good luck.

As I was preparing the table, I notice a tremendous amount of smoke coming from the kitchen. Steve yelled out, “CALL the Fire Department!” The smoke alarms went off, our daughter started crying and the cat was meowing wildly. One of the turkeys (we cooked two that year) had caught on fire, which in turn made our oven catch fire.

The Fire Department showed up quickly, but Steve had already extinguished the fire. His Boy Scout training has come in handy countless times, including that Thanksgiving! Twenty people were expecting Thanksgiving dinner and we had to continue preparing, even after the “incident.” Once the excitement subsided and the fire was extinguished, we continued cooking and airing out the house. We had to open all the windows and doors to get the smoke out. Our poor guests froze that year and had to wait a long time until the meal was ready.

But in the end, it was another wonderful Thanksgiving providing us with lots of happy memories. We were surrounded by the people we loved most, no one was hurt, we ended up getting a new stove and as a bonus, we ate smoked turkey.

Steve and I had our Thanksgiving planning meeting yesterday. We figured out who was doing what, when we’d do things and reviewed our notes from previous years. And of course, we had to retell our Thanksgiving stories and enjoy a good laugh together. Who knows what surprises will be in store this year? All I do know is that I’m very grateful to have all the people we love most coming to our home to celebrate the holiday of thanks and gratitude.

Do you have any Thanksgiving stories or tales of gratitude? Please share them.

Life’s emergencies can cut through the mind clutter and help you refocus on what is important. This spring has been particularly full with long, overflowing lists of things to do, events to attend or plan, projects to wrap up, people to care for, new ventures to start and transitions to be made. These extras were mixed with the normal everyday things like doing laundry, paying bills, working and sleeping. Let’s face it. There are only so many hours in the day. There are days when you just crave more hours.

For me, when I am overloaded in this way, it’s not so much my physical environment that gets cluttered, but it’s my mind that gets full and jumbled. In the same way that your overflowing closet or desk piled with papers might cause stress, lately for me it’s the “to do” clutter in my head that has been challenging. I’ve tried a variety of techniques to declutter my mind. They’ve included making mini lists with easy items such as “get dressed” and “go to bank.”  I’ve used my family and friends as sounding boards to sort the thoughts out loud. I’ve delegated certain things to others, when possible. Yet, even with doing these things, my mind stayed cluttered. It feels like no matter how much I do, it will never be enough. The word overwhelmed describes this well.

And then life threw me a curve ball. My dad ended up in the hospital. Everything just stopped. All of a sudden, those million items took a back seat to being there for my mom and dad. It’s not that the “list” disappeared, but it helped me to prioritize what was most important. My family comes first. I’ve always known this, but the emergency helped to quiet all those other things that have been vying for my attention.

After an intense 24 hours, I went back home to see my husband and daughters. We packed-up some sandwiches and ate by the river. We then walked along the beautiful path, enjoying the sun, the scenery and each other’s company. This was followed by a trip to our local ice cream shop, The Blue Pig. I felt completely renewed and recharged by being outside and with my family.

Eventually, I got ready for bed and picked up a book I recently purchased, Anna Quindlen’s Being Perfect, which had been on my “Books to Read List” for quite a while. It’s a small, intimate book. While I was too tired to read all of it last night, I read enough to know that it was probably the best book I could have picked up at that moment. The words jumped off the page in the loudest, clearest way saying, “Give up being perfect! Be kinder to yourself and just let yourself be.” In my book, The Other Side of Organized, the subtitle is Finding Balance Between Chaos and Perfection. And so it goes. We only hear the message when we’re ready to hear it.

At one point in the emergency room, my dad apologized to me for “screwing up my day.” I let him know that while I wished he wasn’t in the hospital, his emergency had sorted out my day. Then I thanked him for helping me to clear all that clutter in my head. There’s nothing like being in the emergency room to refocus you on what is most important- being there for the people you love, the blessings in your life and letting go of perfection. Being human is good enough.